Title: Three Worst Chinese Tortures
Description: no offense to anyone
darky - March 26, 2005 05:16 PM (GMT)
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
yeah yeah yeahs - April 3, 2005 02:32 AM (GMT)
ROFL!
The three tortures are hilarious!
x1simple1x - April 3, 2005 02:38 AM (GMT)
:lol: LMAO!!!!! ahahahaha *cries from laughing too much* I wonder what my science teacher would say.
flwrlak - April 3, 2005 03:08 AM (GMT)
ROFLMAO! I'm copy pasting this and sending it t someone else..this is hilarious!
x1simple1x - April 3, 2005 03:13 AM (GMT)
Hmm... I wonder why there are no guys replying to this?
flwrlak - April 3, 2005 03:14 AM (GMT)
A guy POSTED it, so does that count for something?
x1simple1x - April 3, 2005 03:17 AM (GMT)
well reply and posted are different. But its be cool to have a guy's imput on this.
darky - April 3, 2005 03:26 AM (GMT)
uh, simple, you'r a girl? :blink: sorry if what i thought offended you.
x1simple1x - April 3, 2005 03:28 AM (GMT)
Uh yes I'm a girl....erm you thought I was a guy?
anyways, what's your opinion on this?
ice - April 3, 2005 10:37 PM (GMT)
That guy was dumber than I expected. He should've felt the ropes.
x1simple1x - April 3, 2005 10:44 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (ice @ Apr 3 2005, 04:37 PM) |
| That guy was dumber than I expected. He should've felt the ropes. |
ROFL!! hahahaha that's funny. the ropes oh my gosh!
l1l_azn_chris - April 5, 2005 07:39 AM (GMT)
If he couldn't feel the ropes on his balls then he's probably the same after castration.
Rogue_Gook - April 5, 2005 09:53 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (l1l_azn_chris @ Apr 5 2005, 01:39 AM) |
| If he couldn't feel the ropes on his balls then he's probably the same after castration. |
:lol: yeah agreed. Trying not to think about the result of this joke though....*shudders