View Full Version: Bash.org

xBlog > Comedy Central > Bash.org


Title: Bash.org


yeah yeah yeahs - February 23, 2005 08:20 AM (GMT)
Bash.org is the funniest Web site ever. If not, then I have failed you as an xBlog superior. Yes, I do warn you before you browse the Web site (language), but for the most part, it's hilarious.

Here are some Bash.org conversations for a preview.

http://bash.org/?99043:
QUOTE
<hydro`> i had this weird dream
<hydro`> someome broke into the house
<hydro`> and changed the wallpaper on the computer and left
QUOTE
<crax> my son get an ibook from school. 5th grade.
<Pothead> he doesn't deserve an ibook
<Pothead> give him an iBinder like we used to have
<Pothead> and an iPencil
<Pothead> and an iLunchpail with Spiderman on it like I used to have
<z1g-work> did you play with your iFriends
<Pothead> iDidn't have any
QUOTE
<YuFFie> SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH
<YuFFie> WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER.
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) Quit (Quit: Owned.)
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #
<YuFFie> HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF
QUOTE
<green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks.
<Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the plants
QUOTE
<Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado
QUOTE
docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!!
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)
QUOTE
<_kr4m3r> so manycriminals, its BS
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

flwrlak - February 23, 2005 10:11 PM (GMT)
The second to last one...LMFAO!!!! :D

Kay, you have seirously made my day!

VANS1170 - February 23, 2005 11:03 PM (GMT)
haahhaahaahaaaahhaahhaahahhaah

angelic - February 24, 2005 04:44 AM (GMT)
The last 2 are my favorites. =D I need to check that site out soon.

ice - February 24, 2005 06:35 AM (GMT)
I liked the wallpaper and firewall one. Who'd enter your house just to make a minor change?

As for the firewall-protected kid, LOL.

yeah yeah yeahs - February 24, 2005 07:21 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (ice @ Feb 23 2005, 08:35 PM)
As for the firewall-protected kid, LOL.

I thought the "I have Windows '98" part was the best. :lol:

flwrlak - February 24, 2005 08:23 PM (GMT)
I was on that site for HOURS last night! Hilarious stuff :D

darky - February 24, 2005 08:29 PM (GMT)
i've been to that site before, but didn't know what it's about, since i closed it in three seconds. now i know what i missed. the best site to read quotes from.

flwrlak - February 24, 2005 10:48 PM (GMT)
And especially since they're real conversations makes it worth all the more..

ice - February 25, 2005 05:00 AM (GMT)
I hope they host another messy room competition. My closet would qualify.

flwrlak - February 25, 2005 02:57 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (ice @ Feb 24 2005, 11:00 PM)
I hope they host another messy room competition. My closet would qualify.

Um, wrong topic?


yeah yeah yeahs - February 25, 2005 10:01 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (flwrlak @ Feb 25 2005, 04:57 AM)
Um, wrong topic?

Um, maybe you don't know what he's talking about? :rolleyes:

Bash.org hosted a contest where people would submit photos of their rooms and the messiest room wins.

ice - February 26, 2005 05:23 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (yeah yeah yeahs @ Feb 25 2005, 03:01 PM)
QUOTE (flwrlak @ Feb 25 2005, 04:57 AM)
Um, wrong topic?

Um, maybe you don't know what he's talking about? :rolleyes:

Bash.org hosted a contest where people would submit photos of their rooms and the messiest room wins.

Oh, sorry for the confusion.

Their "messiest table/room" competition turned into an I-Spy game.

yeah yeah yeahs - March 11, 2005 10:34 PM (GMT)
QUOTE
<ptp`R-N-C`efegege> how many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
<The_only_Vanilla_Willy> HOW MANY?!
<ptp`R-N-C`efegege> none they just sit in the dark and cry
QUOTE
(@Phaysis) anyone here ever taken yoga classes?
(@tesko) yes, and i stopped when i learned i couldnt breathe fire
QUOTE
< robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
< bawss> Right click.

flwrlak - March 11, 2005 10:49 PM (GMT)
lmao, I LOVE the first and last one! Very true; I love my windows xD


VANS1170 - March 12, 2005 02:37 PM (GMT)
the last one is hilarious.

yeah yeah yeahs - April 24, 2005 07:55 AM (GMT)
QUOTE
<TFH> I'm going to start a band called Dial Up, and we are only going to play slow songs.
QUOTE
vampiriclord98: sup
trevmaniscool: my day was horrible, i lost a 20 dollar bill, got beat up, and was late for all my classes
vampiriclord98: dang
vampiriclord98: why u get beat up?
trevmaniscool: For stealing a 20 dollar bill when I should have been going to class
QUOTE
<scytale> man, i suck at cooking
<scytale> was cooking something, piece of food fell on the floor
<scytale> dog ate it up, then threw up
QUOTE
Magustol: what about a geek nightclub?
Adam r the God: what? instead of a dancefloor, just a bunch of DDR machines?


Ahh, haven't been to Bash for a while now. :)

flwrlak - April 24, 2005 03:20 PM (GMT)
OMG the first quote is hilarious, and it fits me perfectly! <sigh>

The only reason I avoid going on this site is because I end up spending hours on it reading all the quotes.

VANS1170 - April 24, 2005 06:43 PM (GMT)
this ones for zach.
http://bash.org/?2398
QUOTE
<HF|Chemical_X> shaddup canadian
<HF|Chemical_X> everybody knows that your country and france share one bar of soap a year.
QUOTE
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet
QUOTE
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY  HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I  DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FA-
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

yeah yeah yeahs - April 24, 2005 07:44 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (VANS1170 @ Apr 24 2005, 08:43 AM)
this ones for zach.
http://bash.org/?2398
QUOTE
<HF|Chemical_X> shaddup canadian
<HF|Chemical_X> everybody knows that your country and france share one bar of soap a year.

:D

LOL. I've never read that one before! :clap:

x1simple1x - April 25, 2005 02:29 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (yeah yeah yeahs @ Apr 24 2005, 01:44 PM)
QUOTE (VANS1170 @ Apr 24 2005, 08:43 AM)
this ones for zach.
http://bash.org/?2398
QUOTE
<HF|Chemical_X> shaddup canadian
<HF|Chemical_X> everybody knows that your country and france share one bar of soap a year.

:D

LOL. I've never read that one before! :clap:

ROFL. the quotes that have to do with Europe are funny eh? The Europe long distance thing and this France/Canada thing. :lol:

yeah yeah yeahs - May 7, 2005 08:25 AM (GMT)
QUOTE
<srty> Light travels faster than sound.
<arilsotil> WRONG
<boya> This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
QUOTE
aspuffnstuff: The third one looks like something they used in Star Wards
aspuffnstuff: *Wars
alykat: lol "star wards"
alykat: an epic about a hospital set in space
alykat: "use the forceps, luke"
volcanogirl: come.. to the bed pan. the bed pan!
aspuffnstuff: OBGYN kenobi!
QUOTE
<microgal> and whiter than white
<RobinHood> heh
<Kronovohr> so...you're like #GGGGGG?
QUOTE
<nxn> dude I'm playing tic tac toe with this chick over a doodle drawing thing
<nxn> I put down an X in the middle and she's like "OMFG CAMPER!!"
QUOTE
Egger: Heres the history of our medicine.
      "I have a sore throat."
      2000 BC : "eat this root"
      1200 AD : "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
      1500 AD : "That prayer is superstition, drink this elixir."
      1800 AD : "That elixir is snake oil, Take this pill."
      1900 AD : "That pill is ineffective, Take this antibiotic."
      2000 AD : "That antibiotic is artificial, Here why dont you eat this root."

VANS1170 - May 7, 2005 01:23 PM (GMT)
hahahhaha "OMFGWTFCAMPER!"

QUOTE
#48183 +(119)- [X]
<eyeball> you know you're a geek when you run your webcam software to see what you look like instead of going to the bathroom mirror


QUOTE
#193314 +(215)- [X]
<Jonathan> anyone here seen the movie pi?
<Yesenia> yea, I saw it 3.14 times.


QUOTE
#155 +(161)- [X]
<Eggo> invent a new kind of tolet paper, reusible or edible


QUOTE
#75313 +(103)- [X]
<MongORiaN> a woman in the mens room is SOOOO FUNAY
<Exor[B-AFK]> a woman in the mens room = awkward
<Exor[B-AFK]> a man in the womans room = lawsuit

yeah yeah yeahs - May 18, 2005 01:46 AM (GMT)
QUOTE
<Enjoi> I broke up with my girlfriend because she didn't know what 'modest' meant, so I know how you feel.
<Raven> modest? screw modesty lol.
<Enjoi> No, she actually didn't know the meaning of the word :P
QUOTE
<lokk> GM posts 1.9bil loss
<lokk> ouch!
<Booster> they should have saved money switching to geico
QUOTE
X Garxx X: i found a bag of little black balls in  my cabinet
X Garxx X: and i was like cool chocolate balls
X Garxx X: so i started eating them
X Garxx X: and i was lik WHOAH THESE RULE
X Garxx X: I BET THEYD BE GREAT WITH MILK
X Garxx X: ...thats when i realized i was eating coco puffs.
QUOTE
<Zoiks> its my birthday in two weeks  :D
<Zoiks> I'mma throw a big party and invite all my friends
<Zoiks> dude, I need to start making plans
<+madhtr003> and friends
QUOTE
<7ruth> Oh my god! I'll be right back, parents are making me barbeque.
<Sentral1>Im pretty sure that was a literal version of 'omgbrbbbq'
<Xthirteen>yep
QUOTE
* xargs should not drive a bike
<xargs> because...
<xargs>              o      _      _          _
<xargs>      _o      /_    _ \o  (_)__/o  (_)
<xargs>    _< _    _>(_)  (_)/<_    _|    _|/' /
<xargs>  (_)>(_)  (_)        (_)    (_)    (_)'  _o_
<xargs> =(
QUOTE
<RobbiePaul> I'm going to work on an econ paper which states that walmart has hurt america, but not the way most people think
<RobbiePaul> i say by keeping prices low, people that shouldn't survive are able to

ice - May 18, 2005 06:30 AM (GMT)
I love the "stab someone over the Internet" one.

VANS1170 - May 18, 2005 08:32 PM (GMT)
i should invent that.

yeah yeah yeahs - July 17, 2005 01:30 AM (GMT)
QUOTE
<deloused> haha i love when people start telling you stuff like you care when you actually don't and you don't pay attention, and then when they finish they ask for your opinion/advice and you just say "oh yea i totally agree"
<XA> oh yeah, i totally agree
QUOTE
<Trin[awah]> I was dyeing easter eggs, and I said, "my eggs came out all ugly!"
<Trin[awah]> and my brother said to me, "well, now you know how your mother feels."
QUOTE
<irving> i do stuff like set up my garage door to open over the internet
<MyPetGoat> having an internet-enabled garage door? what is that good for?
<MyPetGoat> it's like you're the most pathetic Bond villain ever
QUOTE
random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye
QUOTE

<Knighted_> why can't anything i think of turn out right?
<Knighted_> listerine + foot odour smells worse than just feet, and now my shoes are technically flammable

VANS1170 - July 17, 2005 04:25 AM (GMT)
QUOTE
#260330 +(599)- [X]

<VOmitOry> I have a problem, every file i download gets corrupted, anyone know why? :o
<kn1ves> is your computer republican?


QUOTE
#11628 +(180)- [X]

<dJOEk> okay, now seriously for a moment
<dJOEk> a dear friend of mine needs to break up with this girl
<\slick> punch her in the face and play sir mix-a-lot
<Crow> slicks solution to every problem.. 100 percent success rate


QUOTE
#11504 +(442)- [X]

<Kurt> Who would win in a fight, Batman or Jesus?
<jre> Batman
<egg> Batman
<jre> Does Jesus have a Christ-mobile or a utility belt?  NO.


QUOTE
#8397 +(61)- [X]

<iora> i steal no hearts.
<iora> brains are more valuable on the black market.


QUOTE
#33565 +(127)- [X]

<AlieN__> hello...
<AlieN__> I'm dang bored
<AlieN__> be funny
<AlieN__> please
<Gato> *FART*
<AlieN__> yay canadian jokes


QUOTE
XCodymauX: I've been killing pimps all day and still don't have enough money for that sword of light.
l33t 1nt3gr4l: the hell are you playing, GTA: Middle Earth?

yeah yeah yeahs - July 17, 2005 07:52 PM (GMT)
Haha, love the first and last ones.

VANS1170 - July 22, 2005 06:43 PM (GMT)
QUOTE
#178285 +(797)- [X]

<Skizot> my boss is a moron
<Skizot> he walked in an i had left mirc open
<Skizot> he asked what it was...
<Berry2K> bussiness relations?
<Skizot> i told him a new support program by microsoft
<Berry2K> :)
<Berry2K> haha
<Skizot> he says" do i need it"
<RightField> lol
<Skizot> i told him no... it's for really techincal people and n00bs
<Berry2K> WTFLOL
<Skizot> he asks what's a n00b
<RightField> omg
<Skizot> i told him that's what they call microsoft programmers




Hosted for free by InvisionFree