Name: Nicolai Tiede of Olencia
Sex: Male
Age: 25
Occupation: Baker/ Works for Ranna’s bakery
Status & Rank: Working class
***
Roots & Origin:
I was born in a shanty neighborhood in Olencia; away from the middle-class and high class abodes. Yep, you guessed it; I’m living and forever will be in poverty; unless there’s some kind of miracle that’s going to happen.
Feh. Like I care about my family; but, my mother was this sickly person and she died after I was born, my father left her also at the time of my birth. They were never wed anyway. I was raised by my crazy aunt Vittoria who was a whore. Besides she never liked me anyway. She often beat me half to death whenever she felt like it, or she’s drunk or when she lost a gamble.
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Appearance: Sleek messy black hair that is with length of his nape with bangs that cover his alluring blue eyes. He is fair skinned often covered in bruises and cuts due to the beatings he receives from his aunt. He stands 5’8” and has an average built, not to muscular or too flimsy.
He's very conscious of himself, especially his hair. Touch the hair... you DIE. Regarding the scars, people usually ask him for that... usually he'll think of some <insert lame excuse here>. Most young women think he's attractive and yet he ignores them because there's only one woman for him: his manager.
He wears a worn out white shirt but now its color is gray due to the fact it hasn’t been washed in a very long time that is attached to a pair of tights with suspenders. Nicolai’s footwear is rather similar to the so called “Duck’s Bill” Sandal.
***
Strengths:
•Some-what strong
•Passive person
•Baking skills
Weaknesses:
•Ranna Einhart
•Aunt’s wrath
•For some odd reason he hates the Lord High Commander.
•Kittens
•Rabid Dogs
•Bites his own nails
• He's a wuss!
***
Magic: Nope, not applicable
***
Personality:
Looking at the wider picture... he is generally a very cheery person. The usual "I'm happy! Are you happy?" kind of guy. There's always a million dollar smile on his face. But despite his happy face, he wallows in sadness and insecurities. He's a very shallow person who whines and rants over small things. People think he's immature and all because of that. Not to mention he's naive, shy and very nice around kittens. And he's a coward most of the time also... especially to rabid dogs.
When it comes to Ranna Einhart, his manager- he's usually manly trying to be brave and all that jazz. He is usually charming and sweet around her. Ha! The typical OMGILIKEYOUPLEASENOTICEMEDESPITEYOUAREBLIND type of guy.Ranna owns a dog and usually the rabid when he is around. He pretends to be brave; but deep inside he is shuddering in FEAR. And yes, he is infatuated with her.
To the Lord High Commander- He's brash, sarcastic, mean, disrespectful. Nicolai really HATES our dear fluffy Lord High Commander because he caught him with Ranna once. Thus jealousy consumed him and made a grudge against Hadrian.
***
History:
(continued from roots and origins)
My fifth birthday. I cannot forget that day, I was molested by my drunk aunt. People looked at us and sometimes they disown us also. At times when my aunt is away doing her... job as a prostitute or she does not beat me (which is rare), I just enjoyed myself as a kid. Playing here and there til the sun sets. Finally, I felt like a kid when during those times.
My social life isn't that great at all... I often hide myself to keep up my dignity and as a good citizen of this fair city because of my aunt's job.
Education? Nope... never had one.
When I was nine, I got into my first fight over a stray coin. Obviously, I lost... big time. I cried aloud, and the other boys started to make fun of me and labeling me as a wuss. I let it slide... they're just words. I am NOT a WUSS. I'm a MAN.
I was thirteen when I got my first job just to feed myself and not to mention my spooky aunt. I've heard that there was this bakery in the Eastern quadrant of the city that needs help. So, I went there for the job... hey at at least I've got something to do to kill time rather than doing nothing at all, right?
Then, there I met her... the Angel of my dreams. She's pretty... gorgeous if I might add. But the sad fact is she is blind. ;-; I pity her, she manages the entire bakery to herself... because her father is sick.
I went to her and asked for the job, and she accepted me right away. Yay. Oh joy! I worked in the said bakery as a clerk and somewhat an assistant baker. Not to mention sometimes I'm a delivery boy to some households around the city. Then I learned my manager's name... Ranna. Pretty.
Seven years since I'm employed, my manager's father died. And she is left alone in the house. I frequently help miss Ranna here and there but I'm too busy tending my aunt also, or she'll beat me half to death... like when I was a kid.
Five years passed, I became the head baker of the Einhart's bakery. And still, I was too infatuated with Ranna. I cannot tell her how I really feel because I've got this gut feeling I'm gonna get fired if I do tell her. And that is a big loophole if that happens.
I've seen my manager often times hanging around with the Lord High Commander of the King's Guard. Seriously, I was fuming when I saw him holding Ranna's hand. DO NOT TOUCH MY WOMAN, YOU OLD WIND BAG! Seriously, I will bake you to death if you do anything to her! D:<
***
Done. History is rushed though. That's the only fitting history I thought of for him.
Anyways, please tell me if I need anything to edit so I can do it ASAP.
You didn't have to rush the history. :errr:
Before I give suggestions, make sure you have an avatar and a link to this in your signature. I know you described his appearance, but we're lazy people and like to look at pretty pictures instead. :lol:
All right.
I'd like it if you added a little bit more to his appearances. You have all the basics, which is very good, and you did a wonderful job describing his hair and eyes but maybe add a little about his grooming. Does he care how he looks? Does he try and make himself look nice? Do other people think he's good-looking or not? Do they comment on all his bruises? Just little details like that.
Personality: It's usually pretty hard to describe someone's personality in four sentences, because there are so many parts to them. Maybe Nicolai is a generally cheerful person, but does he get easily sad or angry or depressed? Is he a funny person, or sarcastic? Is he mean at all, or really nice and sweet? Just think of as much as you can.
As for his history, it's not bad. It might be nice if you could add a little to his childhood, since you go from age 1 to 13 right away. We know that his aunt beat him, but when his aunt didn't beat him, what did he do? Did he play with any kids, was there anything that made him happy, did anything major happen to him, or was it an ordinary childhood? If you can think of anything to put in those places where you jump over a couple years, that would be great.
Otherwise, you're off to a wonderful start! ^_^
I hope I did the changes you want, madame. :3
Yay! *huggles*
All you need now is a link in your sig and an avatar, and I shall move this to the approved chronicle forum.