April 30, 1983
2:00 PM PDT

It really was a warm spring day, as the Quagmires planned to have a picnic - as their guardian, Hector would join them. It had been exactly one year ago, since the three Quagmire triplets were reunited. For several months, Quigley was actually presumed to be dead. Duncan remembered how happy he was to see that Quigley was alive.

Still, not everything was well. The Baudelaire children - who, like the Quagmires, were orphans - had also been missing for a year. Duncan, along with Isadora, had first met the Baudelaires at Prufrock Preparatory School - and they soon became good friends.

"Are you kids ready?" Hecter called out, jovially. "Today sure is a nice day to have a picnic. I had received a telegram from Phil, and he said that he received a vision. He didn't go into detail, but he did receive reassurance that the Baudelaires are fine."

Duncan was a little uncertain of what to say to that. Phil was a nice enough man, but he actually tended to be overly optimistic. He desperately wanted to believe that the Baudelaires were alive, but he wasn't sure of whether or not he could believe in Phil's vision. He just did his best to put the fate of the Baudelaire children out of his mind.

"Let's head into the car, everyone," continued Hector. "It might not be warm enough to go swimming, yet - but it will still be lots of fun to lie outside in the sun. The lounge chairs are in the back of the car, as are the coolers and the sunscreen. Ready?"

"Did you brings a lot of sodas along?" asked Isadora. As Hector nodded, she added, "How about the boombox? I figured it might be nice, to just listen to some music - as we relax. I mean, we could listen to tapes by Lionel Ritchie and Chistopher Cross."

"Oh, brother," groaned Quigley, "that music puts me to sleep. I was thinking more like Van Halen or Def Leppard. Now that's the type of music to listen to, while being in the real fresh air. What we really need, is something that will get our adenaline pumping."

Duncan sighed, as he knew that Quigley and Isadora really had different preference of music. In fact, for all of their lives, the two have really had different tastes in just about everything - and Duncan often took the middle ground. He would just suggest compromises - which they'd usually agree to, eventually. He never did like to fight.

"Please, no radio," Hector insisted. "We're simply going to use this day to get in touch with nature. No offence, but I actually don't care for that noisy music that you young ones listen to." He took a deep breath, as he added, "Let's make this a great picnic."

As everyone stepped into the car, Duncan thought of the Baudelaires. He just wished they could be at the picnic, too. He tried to think quite positively - but he couldn't help but feel sad, as he thought of Violet. He believed they were separated for too long.

oooooooooo

Duncan thought of how the weather was almost summery, as he was licking on an ice cream bar. He knew he should just wait a half-hour after eating, before stepping into the water. However, he sure felt the urge to swim right away. He suddenly noticed a couple who looked so familiar to them, and they were accompanied with a young girl.

"Jerome Squalor!" cried out Duncan, as he ran up to the trio. "Justice Strauss! It sure has been a long time since we've seen you! Who's that little girl that's with you? She's quite pretty! Have you two, by any chance, managed to find the Baudelaire childen?"

"I'm afraid not," replied Jerome, "and she's not Justice Strauss, anymore. We married nearly a year ago, and we're just in the process of adopting our little girl. Her name is Friday Caliban, who will soon be Friday Squalor." He very tenderly reached out to pat his wife's belly, just as he added, "Not only that, but we also have one on the way."

"You're pregnant!" gasped Isadora, as she glanced from the justice to her brothers. "I really think this is wonderful! The last time I saw either of you, I believe Jerome was in process of getting a divorce. So, out of curiosity, where have the two of you been?"

"We wanted to purchase a house in the countryside," explained Jerome, "and we had no absoluely desire to live in the same town as Count Olaf did. However, Friday really convinced us to move back here. Also, we decided that we should check up on you."

"By the way, my real name is Katherine," added the justice. "You childen can just call me Kathy. We've had Friday in our care for nearly a week, now. She is about to turn eight, and we really just want for her to go to a nice school. Most kids her age would go into third grade, but she seems ready for fifth grade. Still, we're so uncertain..."

"We don't want to open her up to bullying," explained Jerome. "Kids who skip a grade tend to be targetted for ridicule, which really is unfortunate. We simply would like our girl to grow up to be a happy and sociable person. Education is important, but it's..."

"I sure know what you mean," Duncan replied, as he thought of his own experiences at Prufrock Preparatory School. "Kids can be very mean. Iz and I remember what we had to go though, when we went to that boarding school. It was so horrible for us."

"That type of prejudice always distressed me," added Isadora, sighing. "It's really not like we chose to be orphans. As if it wasn't bad enough that we lost our parents, we were also banished to the orphan shack. To be made fun of for it was adding such insult to injury. I'm sure there were other misfits at the school, but we were really..."

"We have quite a few friends, now," Quigley reminded Isadora, as he placed his arm around her. "I'm sure happy that the school is now closed. It really is hard to believe that one of the teachers has tried to steal the Baudelaires' fortune. It was terrible!"

"I know where the Baudelaires are," Friday piped up. As everyone just turned to look at her, she added, "They're out on the island. There were there with that mean man, and a pregnant woman was also there. This man had actually released that Medusoid Mycelium, and everyone on our island soon died. I was the only one who survived."

"Why didn't you tell us about that, honey?" exclaimed Kathy, as she placed her hands on the young girl's shoulders. "You know, I have been worried about them for a year! I felt so... I felt as if part of this was my fault. I was so concerned with doing the..."

"You did what you felt you had to do," Jerome commented, gently. "I mean, you're a judge - so you felt you had to do what was quite legal. Anyway, just don't blame the poor girl. She's been through so much, and I'm sure she must be very traumatized."

"I'm so sorry," whimpered Friday, as tears filled her eyes. "I should've said something much sooner. Anyway, the day is tomorrow. In case they just don't know... we have to sail on over there! They were just great people, and I think it was simply unfair for Ishmael to act like they were... were troublemakers. They were only free-spirited!"

"I don't blame you, Friday," Duncan commented, as he hugged the little girl. "I'm very grateful, in fact, to have met you. I guess we really chose the perfect day to go on a picnic. You have no idea how happy I am, to find out where our friends have been."

"I knew it!" exclaimed a very familiar voice. Duncan turned around, to see that it was Phil. "I presume you've gotten my telegram, Hector?" Hector nodded, as he asked, "I was wondering, have you heard from Charles lately? I've really tried to contact him."

"I haven't heard from him in three months," replied Hector. "He was a great fellow to talk to - but about that, uh, thing that he just has with Sir... I just never understood why he was quite chummy with that oaf. He sure treated the Baudelaires so awfully. Of course, he treated you awfully. I know it's not really my business, but I..."

"I know where Charles is," Kathy interjected. "He and Sir had a real falling out, and I was caught up in a legal case with them. Sir has been arrested for illegally paying his employees with coupons, so Charles runs the mill by himself. I'll call him, tonight."

"I'm very happy to hear that," Phil replied. "I'm sure all of his employees must be quite happy to not have to deal with Sir, as well. I always try to see the good in everyone - but, the thing truth is, he worked us all hard. It was also very hard to make a living."

"He was an asshole!" groused Quigley. "Of course, Mr. Poe was really an even bigger asshole - as he did a rather shitty job of watching out for the Baudelaires! I apologize for my harsh language, but these people do just piss me off! Now these poor children are probably feeling lost and alone - and, if Count Olaf hasn't killed them already..."

"Count Olaf!" gasped Jerome. Turning to Friday, he asked, "You did mention that the children were with a nasty man, right?" As Friday nodded, he gently asked, "You also said there was a pregnant woman with them? I just wonder if it could possibly be..."

"Kit Snicket!" gasped Duncan, as he thought of the woman that didn't join the others in The Great Unknown - which turned out to be a submarine. "Brother! I do hope she made it safely. I wonder if the baby was ever born, and if the baby is real healthy."

"I've looked into Count Olaf's files," explained Kathy, "and I know that he did have an affair with Kit Snicket. That was many years ago, though - like back in the 1960s. The baby she's carrying would most likely belong to Dewey Denouement. I just feel rather sad for how he... I really miss him. We'll just have to set out to the island tomorrow."

Duncan suddenly felt a ray of hope, as he there was a possibility that the Baudelaires would be real safe and sound. Still, with Count Olaf being on the island, he wasn't too certain. On the bright side, though, Kit Snicket seemed like quite a nice lady. He really wasn't sure how useful she would be, as he remembered that she was near labour.

May 1, 1983
10:00 AM EDT

Quigley felt excited, as the whole group was in the van. Jerome was driving, as Kathy sat beside him. Hector sat in the middle row, between Charles and Phil. Quigley was in the back row, between Duncan and Isadora - and he tightly held Friday on his lap.

"I must admit," Kathy said, with a heavy sigh, "I really am feeling a little anxious about how the Baudelaires would take to seeing me. I mean, I sure wish I had done more for them - and I feel that I should've taken much more action. Still, I have a strong feeling that they'll be happy to hear that I'm in the process of getting a few laws passed."

"What laws would they be, uh, Kathy?" Quigley asked, as he began to think about the Baudelaires' predicament. "If one of them includes outlawing The Daily Punctilio, I sure am in favour of that idea. I would like to see that bitch, Geraldine Julienne, arrested."

"Well, she is being charged with libel," explained Kathy. "As for the newspaper itself, though - I'm afraid that there's nothing we could do about it. There is this whole deal with freedom of speech. However, I feel guilty about how Violet almost ended up..."

"What she's meaning to say," added Jerome, "is that she's currently in the process of passing a few laws, so that we don't end up with another debacle - like the time that, in The Marvelous Marriage, Olaf made an attempt to marry Violet. We both hope that most people will find that to be totally unacceptable, and this is certainly plain sick."

"The first law that I'm considering," added Kathy, "is that it will become illegal to marry someone under false pretenses, and that both partners would need to consent to the union of their own free will. It was a disgrace for Olaf to try to threaten Sunny's life."

"That sounds awesome," Quigley remarked, with enthusiasm. "You know, the whole fact that Olaf was in his forties - and Violet was only fourteen... That really borders on pedophilia. That, by itself, should've made that marriage become null and void."

"That was actually my next order of business," agreed Kathy. "You must be eighteen years old to be married, period. We will no longer accept permission from a guardian, as we quite strongly believe that minors are too young to handle the responsibility of marriage. This isn't only because of the play debacle, even though that is part of it."

"By the way, Quigley," added Jerome, "it doesn't merely border on pedophilia. It simply is pedophilia. Olaf tried to marry a teenager - and she was below the age of consent. I can't believe that our justice system didn't consider that loophole."

"The last one that we've considered," added Kathy, "is that judges are not allowed to ever play the role of a judge. Whether it is a play, a movie, a TV show, or whatever - we can't allow the risk of this ever to happen, again. I still feel real guilty about this."

"Well, I really hope these laws do come to pass," commented Hector. "I'm also happy to hear that Geraldine Julienne is being placed on trial. I just think the Villiage of Fowl Devotees should be outlawed. The people there really are living in the 17th Century, especially in the way that they execute people. I sure wish we could do something."

"I sure do, too," agreed Kathy. "I also wish we can do something about the polygamy laws in Utah, especially with the way they exploit young Mormon girls. I certainly plan to do the best I can do, to eradicate injustice in this country - as well as the world."

"I'm so happy to hear that, Kathy," gushed Charles. "I wonder if the Baudelaires are even making an attempt to return to land. If I was in their place, I sure think I would prefer to stay on the island. I mean, it actually must be like a safe haven for them."

"You get no technology on the island, though," pointed out Friday. "You have no TV, no radio... I can imagine they must also be lonesome. While the world is sure a scary place, it's nice to have more opportunities. It's sure nice to be able to have a life. I'm happy to be able to have an opportunity. Mom says I watch too much TV, though."

"She means me," clarifed Kathy, as she chuckled a little. "I understand that it's still a new thing for her. Believe it or not, she just loves watching The Sebald Channel. I'm really not a big fan of Gustav Sebald. His movies are very subpar and low-budget."

"I'm so excited," commented Quigley. "I must say, Friday is a sweet girl - and I'm sure she misses her mother, even if she seemed pretty oppressive. I'm happy to hear that she'll be having a good education, and be able to have a good opportunity at life."

"I really do miss my mom," replied Friday, a little sadly. "She was often strict, but she just did what she thought was best. I must admit that, in a few ways, I do miss living on the island. I mean, it was where I spend the first seven years of my life - and..."

"That was the type of lifestyle you were used to, right?" asked Quigley, as he gently gave the little girl a squeeze. "I understand what you mean. It could be very hard to get used to another lifestyle. I'm sure you're happy to have more freedom, though." As Friday nodded, he gasped, "Oh, my goodness! Just take a look at all this wreck!"

"Here we are," announced Hector, as he pulled into the parking lot - which was beside the remains of the Hotel Denouement. "I just think that Friday deserves a lot of credit for this. Can you imagine how hard it was for me to rest easily, within the past year?"

"I know exactly what you mean," replied Jerome. "I know that the Baudelaires were real concerned about their friends, and I should've been much more sensitive to the fact. I'm glad that Esme and I managed to reconcile, but I couldn't stay with her."

"I understand that she had a rough life," Kathy said, sighing, "but that was no excuse for her to... I can imagine that it would be very hard to ever feel the same way about someone who quite had a part in the murder of your good friend, Jacques Snicket. He was a real fine and nobel man, and his death certainly would be a huge loss to us all."

"To be fair," Jerome commented, as shut off the engine, "she seemed to sincerely be remorseful or it. With poor Carmelita being in the hospital for third-degree burns, she came to show compassion for another human. Carmelita wasn't even eleven, yet."

"I can hardly wait to see that boat," Isadora commented, as the gang climbed out of the van. "I'm sure the Baudelaires will be very happy to see us. You know what they say, about how absense makes the heart grow fonder? I really hope they're fine."

"I hope so, too," agreed Kathy. "It's hard to believe how much Esme and Carmi have changed. Carmi is no longer the spoiled brat that she used to be, and I feel sorry for her. Her parents seem to just not care about her, and... I understand that she feels remorseful for how mean she used to be. She's in a nice foster home, for right now."

"The Winnipegs live there, too," added Jerome. "They're the same orphans who spent several months at Prufrock Prep, during the same period of time that Kit Snicket was a teacher. She recuited them into the VFD, which was about the time she was fired."

Quigley really was familiar with David Winnipeg, who was a fellow member of the Snow Scouts. He sure never met Robert and Steven, though - who were the ones that were sent to Prufrock Prep. David had been in the Snow Scouts for a little over two years.

"You children picked a good name for the boat," commented Kathy, beaming. "I can't blame the Baudelaires for being distrustful. Sunny had such sharp teeth - but I really should have been more understanding. The great news is, when we find them, I'll be able to clear their names. We can also bring Count Olaf to justice, while we're at it."

"I'm so happy to find out where the Baudelaires are," gushed Charles. "It's been such a long time, since I last saw them. I sure feel bad about their, uh, situation. I mean, I feel as though part of it is my fault. I should've taken a stand to Sir, a long time ago."

"I know how you feel," replied Jerome. "I was blinded by my love for Esme, and I feel bad for not listening to the children. I never was one who liked to fight, and it caused me to fail them. I really hope that the kids are all right, and that Count Olaf didn't..."

"Something tells me that the kids are safe and sound," assured Phil. "I'm not who likes to wish anything bad on anyone, but Count Olaf really is a... Well, I really don't know much about him - but I sure regret to say that he was a horrible man. I mean, he was stalking these children - because he wanted to steal the family fortune from them."

"He was also after our sapphires," reminded Quigley. "Actually, I was lucky enough to not have to deal with him very much - but Duncan and Isadora weren't so lucky. They were kidnapped from the boarding school, when they were covering for our friends."

"All right, everybody! Today's the big day," announced Hector, as he pointed to the newly constructed boat. "Charles, Phil, Jerome, and I had spend most of last night - constructing the ship. It was one that Charles already began building last month."

Quigley really felt nervous, as everyone boarded the Violet. Quigley chosen the name for the boat, in honour of his girlfriend. At least, they sure seemed to be on their way to having a romance - when the two of them were suddenly separated. Of course, he never stopped thinking about her. He figured that she felt the same way about him.

He did have a moment of doubt - when it had been over a week, since he received a telegram back from her. As he found out that some of the telephone poles had been cut down, he simply felt bad about doubting her love - and, by then, she was gone.

May 1, 1983
12:00 PM EDT



















o

On this story, I thought of having the Justice be in the process of passing three new laws:

1. It is illegal to marry someone under false pretenses, and both parties have to consent to the union of their own free will.
2. You must be 18 years old to be married. No exceptions.
3. Judges are not allowed to ever play the role of a judge - be it plays, movies, TV shows, etc.

How's that?

Sounds good. Lionel Ritchie and Christopher Cross, huh? Isn't Lionel Ritchie usually Funk?

I'm guessing that Isadora also likes Todd Rundgren, Chicago, Air Supply, and The Doobie Brothers.

Petty much, yeah. Isadora isn't really into hard rock, like Quigley is.

May 1, 1983
1:00 PM EDT

Isadora sighed to herself, as she began to worry that the Baudelaires might not even still be living. She thought back to her days of attending Prufrock Preparatory School, as she thought of she was real unhappy there. They didn't even teach real classes at the school. Of course, memories of the Orphan Shack actually did make her shudder.

"So, uh, Kathy," Quigley was asking, "have you thought much of any names for your child? If you don't mind me asking, how have the two of you fallen in love? I really do love Violet, and this had just been one long year for us. I really hope they're okay."

"I remember having first having met him back in 1968," replied Kathy, sighing. "I was very fond of him, but it was five years after my fiance died of cancer. I really wasn't sure if I was ready to get involved in another relationship, while he was a nice man."

"That really must've been sad," Isadora commented, sympathetically. As she thought of Klaus, she remembered how much she loved him. "You know, I never did Klaus just how I felt about him. Of course, we've been good friends - since we didn't quite have any other true friends. We did have friendly acquaintences, but that was about it."

"I do remember Lois Edwards," added Duncan. "She was the girl who was... Well, let's just say that she was really more than a little chunky. We did talk with her a little, and she seemed nice enough. Of course, she seemed insecure - because of her weight."

"It certainly broke my heart, though," sighed Isadora, "how she often joined in on the Orphan Shack song. However, looking back in retrospect, she probably felt bad about being picked on all the time - that she liked to see others be picked in, for a change."

"She said that," pointed out Kathy, "in the interview. She did have plenty of remorse for that, though. Anyway, it really wasn't until 1973 - when I was able to fall in love, again. We've been together for just a little over three years, and then he committed suicide. I was simply shocked, as I never saw that coming. There was so much guilt."

"Suicide?" asked Quigley, in horror. "Oh, goodness! I hope that's not what happened to the Baudelaires. After all, they've gone through much hell - I can't quite say that I would blame them, if they... No, I can't say that. We really have to think positively."

"It was during the fall of 1979," explained Jerome, "that I met Esme. We got married right the next day, and I was so blinded by love for her. She seemed very charming, and I thought that my life was complete. Jacques tried to warn me, but the letter..."

"That was only about two years," Quigley pointed out, "before our mansion had burnt down, and the Baudelaire mention was burned down about a month prior. It was very devastating to me, and I'm quite sure that the arsonist side of the VFD had something to do with us. I certainly don't understand why they decided to taget out, though."

"I'm sure it had something to do with the fact that your families were rich," suggested Kathy, "along with the fact that your families were just on the fire-fighting side of the VFD. I can remember how Count Olaf's chief motivation was the Baudelaire forune."

"He was also after our sapphires," pointed out Isadora, as she suddenly remembered the time that she and Duncan had been kidnapped. "It was when I quite realized how much the Baudelaires cared about us. It's too bad that they couldn't've joined us..."

"I felt as though it was partially my fault," replied Hector, sighing. "I shouldn't've been skittish around the authorities. I should've spoken up, and said something that...." He stopped short, he pointed into a distance, as he called out, "Hey, look! There is a ship over there! I wonder if it could be the Baudelaires. We should just sail over to them."

"I knew it!" called out Phil, excitedly. "Now is not a time for regrets. I'm sure they'll be as happy to see us, as we are to see them. I bet they're feeling very scared to reach civilization. I'm sure they'll all feel quite happy to be greeted by some friendly faces."

I don't think Marty has ever dissed soft rock in your stories, has he?

No, not really. He does like soft rock, some of the time.

I bet Quigley would get really pissed off when Sammy Hagar replaces David Lee Roth as lead singer for Van Halen.

Probably so. As a solo artist, he rocked - but, with Van Halen... That's a different story.

I like Sammy Hagar better solo.

Especially I Can't Drive 55. Now, whenever I hear that song, I think the 1985-A scene in BTTF2.