August 27, 1983
3:00 PM EDT
INTRODUCTION
Tom Jones (until I can think of a better name): Hello, everyone! This is Tom Jones here, and I am standing here at the former campus of Prufrock Preparatory - which has been shut down early this year, since Mrs. Bass had been arrested on charges of stealing the Baudelaire fortune. We have present here twelve different students who have attended during the short period of the time that the Quagmire and Baudelaire orphans have attended.
John Smith (until I can think of a better name): My name is John Smith, and I am assisting Tom here with the interview. The names of these students are as follows: Cordelia Chessler, Ellen Walker, Marsha Rossi, Milton Egbert, Marianne Sawyer, Jennifer Bates, Alex Rosenberg, Eileen Keaton, Lois Edwards, Stephanie Holloway, Rachel Bourgeois, and Alice Garfunkel.
Tom: We will now start with Cordelia Chessler.
CORDELIA CHESSLER
Tom: Good afternoon, Cordelia. How old are you, and have long have you been attending Prufrock Preparatory School?
Cordelia: I'm about thirteen and a half. I've been attending Prufrock Prep since I was ten, and the school had shut down.
Tom: How close were you to Carmelita Spats - who, if I understand correctly, was the most popular girl in school?
Cordelia: I was very close to her - and I was, in fact, one of her best friends. At the time, I was happy to be part of the in-crowd - and I didn't really think of how I've treated other people. I regret to say that I've done some, uh, not-very-nice things. Once I've heard about her involvement with Count Olaf, I've lost all respect for her.
Tom: So, Cordelia, do you remember anything about the Baudelaire or Quagmire orphans?
Cordelia: Yes, I do. The Quagmires were here longer, and we used to always laugh at them - and sing a song about how they've lived in the orphan shack. Just a few days after the Quagmires were finally allowed to live in the dorms, then the Baudelaires moved into the orphan shack.
Tom: Now, what exactly is the orphan shack?
Cordelia: I never really got to see what it looked like, but I've heard that it was filled with fungus - and there were also crabs.
Tom: So you saw it fit to make fun of them, because they had to live in the shack?
Cordelia: Well, to be honest, I never thought to empathize with them - so I never even thought of how bad their situation was. I regret to say that I didn't even care. At the time, I didn't think of them as human beings with emotions. They were just, uh... Well, I guess they were just the laughingstocks.
Tom: You feel remorseful for your actions now, though?
Cordelia: Uh, yeah, very much so. In fact, if at all possible, I would like to be able to find them - so that I can apologize for the way I've treated them.
Tom: Is there anything else you'd like to say?
Cordelia: Just that, don't make the same mistake I've made. At the time, I thought it was fun to have people to put down. I've head the hard way, though, that it can eventually blow up in your face. I myself am now an orphan - and, well...
Tom: Thank you for your time, Cordelia.
John: We do appreciate your honesty, and your willing to spend time with us. Thank you very much.
MARIANNE SAWYER
Tom: Good afternoon, Marianne. How old are you, and have long have you been attending Prufrock Preparatory School?
Marianne: I just turned 15 not long ago. I've been attending Prufrock Prep, since I was nine years old. I have to say that I'm glad to be out of there!
Tom: How close were you to Carmelita Spats, the most popular girl in school?
Marianne: I couldn't stand her at all! I thought she was a total and complete jerk, and I didn't like how she made fun of people whom she deemed inferior than herself.
Tom: So, Marianne, do you remember anything about the Baudelaire or Quagmire orphans?
Marianne: I certainly do. I have to admit, I always thought Duncan was pretty cute. I felt so bad for them, and I didn't think it was right for the other kids to make fun of them. The Baudelaires were treated even worse, especially when Coach Genghis had arrived. I had no idea that he was really Count Olaf, but I figued he had it in for them.
Tom: So were you pretty close to the orphans?
Marianne: Probably not as close as I should've been. I would also get pretty flustered around Duncan, because I thought he was cute. I actually tried to be nice to everyone, though.
Tom: Earlier on, I had spoken with Marsha Rossi. She had indicated that she often felt so alone and insecure, because nobody ever spoke to her. Do you remember her?
Marianne: Well, I vaguely remember her - and I believe I've spoken to her a few times. There were over a hundred kids in the school, but I've tried my best to be nice to everyone.
Tom: Is there anything else you'd like to say?
Marianne: Well, I certainly like the new boarding school I'm attending much better. The people in charge treat us more fairly, we actually have weekends, and we even have real classes. Also, I guess I would just like to remind everyone to follow the Golden Rule. Treat other people the same way you'd like to be treated. You'll sure get farther in life, this way.
Tom: Thank you for your time, Marianne.
John: We do appreciate your honesty, and your willing to spend time with us. Thank you very much.
LOIS EDWARDS
Tom: Good afternoon, Lois. How old are you, and have long have you been attending Prufrock Preparatory School?
Lois: I'm 14 years old, and I've been attending Prufrock since the fall of 1979, so I guess I was there for about three years.
Tom: How close were you to Carmelita Spats, the most popular girl in school?
Lois: She never liked me. She always made fun of me, because I was... fat. She always called me names like "Fatso" and "Miss Piggy". Sometimes, she even sometimes called out to everyone what I had on my lunch tray.
Tom: So, Lois, do you remember anything about the Baudelaire or Quagmire orphans?
Lois: I remember them vaguely. I wanted to correspond with them, but I was afraid that they might not like me - even though they themselves were picked on. I'm also ashamed to admit that I sometimes joined in singing Orphans In The Orphan Shack.
Tom: If you were picked on yourself, then why did you join in on taunting them? I mean, surely you would no how it feels to be ridiculed.
Lois: Well, you know that old expression? Misery loves company? I was often happy to see someone else besides me being picked on, for a change. Also, I guess I was hoping that people might start to like me. I guess I was being so naive.
Tom: You know, you are a little overweight - but I really don't think you look that fat to me.
Lois: Well, I decided to go on a diet - and I also decided to exercise more. So I've manage to lose a lot of weight over the summer. I have more friends at the school I currently attend.
Tom: So you didn't have any friends? What about Marianne Sawyer, who I had spoken with a little earlier?
Lois: Well, she was always nice to me - and I've had other, uh, acquaintances. I didn't have anyone to really call a "true" friend, though. There were other social outcasts at the school, but I was always afraid that even they wouldn't like me.
Tom: Is there anything else you'd like to say?
Lois: Yes, I'd like to say something to all the kids out there. Do not judge people by their outward appearances! Get to know who they are on the inside! If we can all just follow the Golden Rule, this world will be a much better place!
Tom: Thank you for your time, Lois.
John: We do appreciate your honesty, and your willing to spend time with us. Thank you very much.
Gotta finish this interview. I'll see how much I can finish today. :)