It's just before the England v Brazil match. Ronaldinho goes into the
Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.
What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know
it's important but it's only England. They're sh*te and we can't be bothered."
Ronaldinho looks at them and says, "Well, I reckon I can beat them by
myself... you lads go down the pub."
So Ronaldinho goes out to play England by himself and the rest of the
Brazilian team go off for a few jars.
After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the
landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads
"Brazil 1 - England 0 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes)". He is beating England all by himself!
A few pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers, "It
must be full time now, let's see how he got on." They put the teletext on.
"Result from the Stadium 'Brazil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes) - England 1
(Lampard 89 minutes)."
They can't believe it, he has single-handedly got a draw against England!!
They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho. They find him i
the dressing room, still in his gear, sitting with his head in his hands.
He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they
only scored at the very, very end!" "No, no, I have, I've let you down...I got sent off after 12 minutes."
Got this one a while ago in an e-mail:
40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Ireland
sunbathe.
35 degrees - Italian cars won't start. People in Ireland drive with the
windows down.
20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in
Ireland throw on a T-shirt.
15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in
Ireland go
swimming in the sea.
0 degrees - New York landlords turn the heat on. People in Ireland have
a
last barby before it gets cold.
-10 degrees - People in Miami are extinct. People in Ireland lick
flagpoles.
-20 degrees - Californians all now live in Mexico. People in Ireland
throw
on a light jacket.
-100 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Ireland
wear
a vest and pull down their ear flaps.
-297 degrees - Microbial life starts to grind to a halt. Irish cows
complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460 degrees - ALL atomic motion stops. People in Ireland start saying
"It's a bitin cold ...? "
-500 degrees - Hell freezes over. Irish people support England in the
World
Cup