Title: How To Use An Atm Machine
senordingdong - April 13, 2006 10:12 PM (GMT)
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
************************************************** *********
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
jonnybadd - April 13, 2006 11:27 PM (GMT)
The fucking M is included in the abbreviation, The title of the topic reads How To Use An Automatic Teller Machine Machine. I expected better Mark.
Podge - April 13, 2006 11:41 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (jonnybadd @ Apr 13 2006, 11:27 PM) |
| I expected better Mark. |
I didn't :P
senordingdong - April 14, 2006 06:49 PM (GMT)
Yeah...'cos I didn't just copy and paste that(!)
I actually wrote the whole thing(!)
Bren - April 14, 2006 06:52 PM (GMT)
Well the only part that actually says ATM machine is the title, which presumably you did write.
senordingdong - April 14, 2006 06:56 PM (GMT)
Funnily enough, no.
I can send you the link if you want.
jonnybadd - April 14, 2006 10:22 PM (GMT)
Kate - April 15, 2006 01:43 PM (GMT)
senordingdong - April 15, 2006 07:06 PM (GMT)
jezebel - April 17, 2006 07:54 PM (GMT)
Got it in an email a while ago.. but still its funny!!
We all see things like this happen... the amount of times women emptied they're handbags all over my till counter was ridiculous... lol!!