Okay, like, you know how you toast Pop-Tarts? Well, I was about to do just that when I thought:


"Hey, you know, Pop-Tarts don't taste much different when they aren't toasted."

So then I realized that I need not travel to the toaster just to warm up my delicious pastry, heck no, I was an American and I needed to do things the American way! I grabbed a Pop-Tart, sat on the couch, and flipped the TV's channel to Maury. There was this one guy who was once, like, a chick, and I got really disturbed, so I tried to turn the TV off, but to my dismay, the TV remote was nowhere to be found!

As you can imagine, my parents paid their taxes, I had no reason to have to walk all the way over to the TV for my needs- I needed to find that remote. I searched through the pillow cushions and found a few M&Ms and a Sixlets wrapper.

This got me thinking. Why, oh why, did they name the candy "Sixlets"? I sat there for a while and pondered this strange enigma of a question until my head started to ache.

"That's odd," I said outloud. Why would thinking about the meaning of Sixlets cause my head to hurt? I pondered this for a split-second, but then decided that I wouldn't want to make it worse, so I quickly sat-up, found the remote where I least expected it (on my lap, of all places...) and turned the station to FOX.

Yep, some good old lackluster, no-brain-use-required FOX entertainment for me. It was time for Biodome with Polly Shore, so I quickly turned the TV off, threw the remote aside, and jogged at a steady pace to my room. Once I arrived at my destination, I panted for a few minutes. I thought about how convenient it would be to be able to drive a car in my house. Better yet, just hook my arm up to a nutrient tube, give me a few bags of chips, some slave-robots, and I'd be darn-near set for life.

But then it occurred to me that something might go horribly wrong if I didn't have some human companion. Like, I might get really depressed and die, or something screwy like that. That reminded me of a game of Sims my friend had once conducted, creating a character symbolizing me and placing it in a house full of cats. He told me that I soon grew seriously emotionally disturbed, and died.

Do Sims go to heaven when they die? I wondered... I mean, would you need an expansion pack for that kind of stuff? Would that even be possible? They'd need to make different versions then, you know, to please all different kinds of religions. Like one where you go to heaven/hell, one where you get reborn as some rat or something, etc. This would be a really great idea.

You know what else is a great idea? There are these little elevators that you can attach to the wall of a staircase, you know, for people in wheel-chairs and such. I also though about adding those in my fantasy home, but then wondered how much they costed. I mean, something so convenient has to cost a lot, right? What's up with money, anyway? Wouldn't everything be better if money never existed? It is the root of all evil, right?

I clapped my hands together. You know what else is evil? Ganondorf. I quickly jolted to my Gamecube, but then decided not to, since, after all, I'm here to entertain you guys, not to tell you about some boring, drawn-out process in a particular day of my life, right? But I did decide that if I wasn't going to play Zelda, I'd think it.

A part of the Zelda-universe on my mind these days is Minish Cap, specifically Vaati. 2K3 had alerted me that he was in humanoid form in the new game, but, really, when have I ever taken 2K3 seriously? Fortunately, he provided proof, but then something truly astonishing came to me. What if he was in cahoots with the site he cited(whoa, site and cite...)? Oh yeah, they'd all have the big har har har on DM_L then. Oh boy, what a chump DM_L is. Well, I'm not going to be made a fool of! I know when I'm being duped! So I decided to go eat a sandwich, since anything that's not believing that Vaati is in humanoid form would be spiting 2K3, which was exactly what my vengeful mind was wanting to do.

I once watched this big documentary about the origin of a sandwich. There was this one guy, the Earl of Sandwich, or something like that, and he made them... I guess it was kind of unusual back then, because finger-foods were extremely uncommon. People wore wigs back then. I wonder why... Did they have extremely disgusting dandruff? Were they bald? Were they metro-sexual? I just had no idea.

As I pulled out the bread for my delicious bit of heaven known as "bologna and mayo sandwich", something struck me odd. The toaster had been taken from its usual spot, and placed several centimeters over. My face turned pale. 2K3. It was 2K3. He had come in, moved my toaster, and left, all just to get the last laugh! And GC probably helped him, too! And everyone else at UTL... they were all against me! All plotting furiously! Plotting against who? Me, of course!

It suddenly occurred to me that my old signature saying "Everyone's plotting against me!" was still up on UTL. Man, I was really getting tired of seeing that. I should have done something about it, but the comp was more than a few feet away, and I did NOT want to move my legs anymore than I had to.

So I went for a walk. It was nice outside: birds chirping, blue sky... Yep. Life was good. I chuckled at the thought of everyone reading this far into my pointless little thread to find that nothing significant has happened. Nope. This reminded me of the time Ghandi's son visited Bethel, the college near here. I couldn't imagine why it did, it just did. Spreading his word to the college students, a real man of wisdom. I had really wanted to go see him, but then I decided that taking a nap would be far more enlightening, and so I set off to have a nightmare about giant bears ravaging my town.

Yes, everything was good.

And you guys are SUCKERS! HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAA! YOU JUST WASTED, LIKE, A LOT OF TIME READING THIS TO FIND OUT THAT NOTHING HAPPENED AT ALL!

:ph43r:

EDIT: Haha.

EDIT AGAIN: P.S. I thought the Crap Shack was getting a little on the not-so-crappy side, so I had to crap it back up again.

EDIT AGAIN AGAIN: P.P.S. You guys suck. :P

I lost ya at poptarts then OI fell asleep. Then my braincelss took a union break They have everyone every hour and i went uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*drools*

...

*starts to say something*

...

DM_L has just taken my record for writing the longest peice of bored crap on a forum EVER.

you did see the gannonbanned thread TSA put up that one time at hte Zelda board right.

I wouldn't consider that Bored crap, thats more like egotistical crap...

wow. just when i thought i'd seen boredom at its max....i was just proven wrong

*wipes tear from eye*

LL, that really means a lot. :D

you didnt see what i wrote... it was on the HRA boards...

it was like a rant, but it didnt connect and it was extremely random...

Wow, there's bored...and then there's this... :blink:

:o

Wow, that was amazing. Truly amazing.

They'd need to make different versions then, you know, to please all different kinds of religions. Like one where you go to heaven/hell, one where you get reborn as some rat or something, etc. This would be a really great idea.

Holy crap, that was funny. Whew, where did you think of this stuff? That reincarnation as a rat game would be hiliarious too! :D

2K3 had alerted me that he was in humanoid form in the new game, but, really, when have I ever taken 2K3 seriously?

ROFL! Nice one, once again. ;)

People wore wigs back then. I wonder why... Did they have extremely disgusting dandruff? Were they bald? Were they metro-sexual?

Definitely the last one. :lol:

It was 2K3. He had come in, moved my toaster, and left, all just to get the last laugh!

Of course, I am the evil mastermind behind all of your pitiful life. Welcome to my rule.

Wow i actually know people who dpo somthing kinds constructive with their bordom all I can do is destructive and heartburn* Burp and fires comes out* that is the last time I put texas pete on jallepeno peppers.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh my God. That was craptacularly hilarious.

So did I succeed in re-crapifying the Crap Shack?

More than succeeding... you practically own it now. :D

Nah, that's Jawa's job.

I just had to reinstate my title as King of Feces. ;)

Make that "Supreme Overlord of All Feces"...

Oh, now I can't NOT go and add that to my sig... :lol:

You are right, I am plotting against you. *puts DM_L's toilet back where it belongs*

*gasp*

Hah, fabulous. If only you knew how close this is to a typical train of thought for me... XD
Although I thought my spam during Teh Great Spam War between Jawa and myself was good. Lunar got his title. :lol:

This is exactly how my thoughts carry if I don't focus. :D

If I focus, I tend to lose focus. And vice versa.
One time I wrote an email to a friend for about an hour because I was bored...it's basically a train of thought connected to video game music. It also has me calling him Ganondorf and myself Zelda at one point. The subject line says "The Neverending Email" and he threatened me to never reply to my emails again if I sent him another one. XD

ROFL... I sent an e-mail to one of my friends once about Zelda 2005... (I dunno if you remember or not, but I kind of made a spoof off of the whole idea that a Zelda game would be released in 2005...)

:0That was...amazing... XD

Purely the funyest peice of crap in the whole crappy crap shaq!

*revive*

*splodes thread*

When people read old threads, I bump them. :)

umm... :blink:
This is where the awkward would be more than appropriate.