Once upon a place in time somewhere in the world where Carmen Sandiego was not, there existed a secret underground Society of Secrets. Due to it’s closeness to the Department of Redundancy Department, the Secret Society of Secrets got discounts on their membership t-shirts and bumper stickers by being redundant. They don’t like to talk about it, it’s a secret.

One day, the head of the Super Secrecy Department of Top Secret Secrets was investigating a particularly secrety secret. It was so incredibly secret, he wondered how many times he could say secret in a sentence when describing it to his secret colleagues before they all exposed from the sheer secrecy that was his top secret secret file. He smirked, as all good secret heads of the Super Secrecy Department should, and strolled down the hall to a rather large bookshelf. The man looked around to make sure no one was secretly sneaking behind him. Once he was positive the coast was clear, he pulled back the shelf’s copy of The Secret Garden and waited. The enormous bookshelf rumbled and slowly rolled back to reveal a secret winding staircase leading down into the Secret Meeting Room of Really Important Secrets. The man quickly descended the staircase and, once at the bottom, pressed a small button on the wall that caused the bookshelf to roll back loudly into its former position. The man briskly walked into the Secret Meeting Room of Really Important Secrets, and quickly took his place at the head of the table.

“Secret Gentlemen of the most Secret Society known to absolutely no one but ourselves,” he began in a booming voice. “Welcome to our most secret of all secret meetings this year. I trust all of you have kept this an absolute secret, and that there will be no one following us?” The men all nodded accordingly in turn.

“Very good, very good. Now, if we can take the oath before I begin?” Everyone stood, held their hand in the air, and muttered in complete unison:

“I solemnly swear, any secrets uttered here in the Secret Meeting Room of Really Important Secrets will be kept secret, remain secret, and will forever be secret, for that is the purpose of this entirely secret room in the first place. Further more, I realize if I am not to keep any secret herein which I have heard today, the Secret Society of Secrets will be no more and it will be my entire fault.” Upon finishing the secret oath, everyone sat down and waited for their leader to begin.

“Now, gentlemen, this is a really important secret we have on our hands,” the head of the Super Secrecy Department of Top Secret Secrets began, opening the file. “One of the biggest I’ve ever dealt with in my career as the head of the Super Secrecy Department of Top Secret Secrets…”

“Even bigger than when we found out-"

"Yes, yes, yes," the head snapped before the worker revealed a secret and it was secret no longer. "Mind what you say down here, not everyone knows every secret."

"Sorry, sir."

"You are forgiven, just don't let it happen again. Anyway... Like I said, this is the biggest, secretest, secret we've ever talked about." He paused a moment. "We are on the verge of a war." Everyone in the room murmured a moment.

"A war?" one of the agents asked.

"A war," their leader repeated. "A war between Microsoft and Nintendo." Everyone gasped audibly. Fortunately, the Secret Meeting Room of Really Important Secrets was sound proof to keep secrets from leaking out.

"How could this possibly happen?" an agent exclaimed angrily.

"It just has," their leader sighed, passing around the secret file. "Now we really need to keep one on the down low, and I mean it, if this gets out, who knows what the people will do..." Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Or so you think," a voice said coyly from the doorway. Everyone turned, alarmed by the intruder. A boy in a sweatshirt stood in the doorway playing his PSP.

"Who are you and what are you... This is so secret! How did you find out about us?!" their leader pouted. The boy shrugged, mashing his buttons.

"Oh, by the way, I e-mailed my friends about the war," he muttered.

Just then the internet exploded and the resulting shock was so strong, everything made out of glass or silicon shattered into a million pieces. The resulting apocalypse between the X-Box and Nintendo fanboys was long and drawn out, while the Playstation fanboys prospered somewhere on the island of Australia for many years to come until they were washed away in an epic tidal wave resulting from the shock wave that boy had caused in the first place. Then, out of the ashes rose the gaming gods, who rebuilt the earth from the dust, and banned secret societies from keeping secrets from society so something like this would never happen again until the Wii, PS3, and X-Box 360 came out.

zomg;
AIGSDHGSH DEW SO EPIC!!!
EMMY YOU WIN FIVE INTERNETS! zomg;

Emmy, that was awesome. XD

As awesomeness goes, I'd say that ranks.