武君
Sorry, but I don't like birthdays. I have had too many. Overdose.
So I'd be you, I'd do nothing special, just call my Mum to thank her, then switch the phone off, avoid reading mails, don't open the door, pretend you're not at home, have a good nerdy evening.
For me, for others, I try to forget such celebrations exist...
I like Takeshi Kaneshiro, 366 days a year, whatever his age. tuzki34
Let's just do as usual.
This a translation of an article in USO TSUKI MAGAZINE, Moon Edition of November 2052. I guess Miki will scan it later...
The photos are not interesting (don't scan them). You've seen enough of that ugly old guy on the bad side of his 30's.;) The article is long, that mag is grand-ma litterature, something like Reader Digest, I even had to cut parts of the story...
Beginning of translation :
Retired actor Takeshi Kareshiro explains our journalist why this year he decided to stay in bed, reading mangas, alone, all day on October 11th 2008.
The lonely star
October 11th 2007, 8:00 p.m
On my birthday, I had a very heavy work schedule in Tokyo. I flew in the night before. From Milano. I could only sleep 4 hours on the sofa of our Tokyo office. Then 3 interviews in the morning, no lunch break, photo shootings for commercials in the afternoon, no dinner break, I had to do costume trials for the k-80 film in the evening...tzuki37
And I was feeling bad, you know I was thinking like : Eh man, you have been working all the time in the last 8 months. You didn't have the time to find a girlfriend, not even for one night, not even for one minute. Nothing at all. You kiss girls only when it's in the script of a movie. Is that a life for a young man ? You've not seen your Taiwanese friends since your birthday party last year ? or the year before ? Ah 2006 was last year. But no party in 2007... not even enough time to call your Tokyo friends... Your family ? last time you saw them, was...oh, on Chinese New Year... crry
But I hope I am still in their hearts and they are not forgetting me. At least on my birthday. So, at 11 p.m., finished or not, I'll say I'm leaving and I will switch on my mini-computer to read all the emails and podcasts from my dear ones, my cute nieces will have made cute drawings for Uncle Takeshi, I'm sure of this... :rolleyes:
Empty world
11:00
Otsukaresama, salamalekum, bye bye, finish without me... They don't like it, but tonight I don't care. I quickly walk out of the building and in this dark street, I open my comp' and... What happened ?
I see one e-mail. Only one.
"From Tulong Office...salutations... Mr Kareshiro, on your last visit, you have forgotten to take the script of next project... not a very professional behaviour, we are very unsatisfied... Tomorrow morning, be at the Tokyo office a 5 a.m. or we send someone to wake you up.".
Even Mum forgot me ! I should call her.
"Wei,wei... you're the maid ? I am Takeshi... oh, you don't know me ? I'm the son of Mrs xxxx... ah she got married and changed name ?...uuh ? recently ? you don't know ?... yes, that sort of things happen all the time, she forgot to tell me... Well, I am her son. Is she at home ? On a trip abroad for 5 months ?...no, no messages. Don't tell her I called. I'm sure she doesn't care...oh wait ! How is my dog ?...no dog in this house ? check in the garden ?no garden ?...the address is XXXXX...no ? not in XXX ?...but the number is XXXXX ? Oh sorry, my family must have changed of phone number...Oh, I knew it in fact. I'm so stupid. I've called the old number. Sorry". No, I didn't know ! I don't have any other number.
Let's see the messages from my fans, so I type in my browser : "Simply TK..." and a page opens and shows many photos of this
this guy. Oh yeah, his initials are TK. Lilyana says "I love Ken". Ahhh, that must be my characters Kenichi or Kenji no ? No. It's him, that guy, there are his photos all over. It's his fan club now. He's lucky and he probably doesn't care. I had fans too, no ? Maybe I had dreamed. Let's try to find pages about "Takeshi Kareshiro" but google, yahoo, msn...can't find even one. Fame is so volatile.
I will call all my ex-girlfriends... oops, I'm no longer playing in Pumking Express. The truth is I don't have any ex in real life, except Mina-chan in 1st year of primary school. Where is she now ? Anyway I had never told her she was my fiancee in my dreams. No friends, no fans, no love...
For the first time in my life, I want to kill myself. But I have never played that role, I don't know how to do it.
When Takeshi meets Krikri
11:15
That was a chilly evening. Rainy. I had been standing there alone, under Tagada Hills Building's parking entrance, unable to think about anything. Then a girl with a long rain coat and no umbrella arrived running. She tried to open the door, but that was too late, the commercial center closed at 11 in this business area. Then she noticed me :
"Oh, oh... I know you ! I've seen you on TV, you are Matsui the base-ball player ? No ? You are in the Hanshin Tigers ? or one of the Oyaji Dancers ?
T- (laughts) You need glasses maybe. I'm an actor.
K-Actor ? ...ah Ken Takakura ?
T-Ah no, anybody but not him, please !
K- Toshiro Mifune ?
T-I'd prefer but he is a little dead.
K-Oh you're dead ?
T-Not yet, not yet...
(My hands were shaking, she grasped them and I imediatly felt warmer)
K-But you really look terrible my dear. I can't let you like that, poor little puppy. Come with me ! ;) That doesn't matter if your are not really famous. I'm taking you to my cottage in the mountain, that's a marvellous place. There you can relax and tell Krikri all your problems , get a gentle shoulder massage tuzki14 That will refresh your mind, believe me.
T- :rolleyes: I believe you.
K-What time is it ?...oh shhh..already..that's too late for the last shinkansen. Now we have to drive there. I hope you can drive...I have no idea how to operate those machines, the guy gave me a licence just because I watched him with those eyes
:blowup
(hmmmm those eyes !!)
T-Nnnn nnno prooobleeeem.
K-What is your problem ?
T-Stop aiming me with "those eyes", I'm feeling weaker and wea...
K-No, please, stay alive... Rgnnnnn. They all do that. Why ? Killed by a mere look straight into their eyes. That's so unfair, so many deaths around me. I'll be careful with you. Don't worry, baby, that kills only men not in love with me. Others only become crazy. I wonder what happens with a guy already crazy like you. We'll see later.
T-I was already crazy when you talked to me ? You're sure ? Oh, I'll be your idiot chauffeur. I don't have a licence, but I have learnt for films, I have played in so many commercials for cars. The cops recognize me so they never ask me anything.
K-So we'll borrow one in that parking...oh they all belong to the company, no problem, it's a big kaisha, they don't even know how many they have. They let the keys on them. The kanrinin gave me the code for the door...
The road of temptation
11:30
I don't know why I followed her. I was like a zombi. The car was one of those tacky Italian red vehicules. The great thing is the seats are very low and when a girl tries to sit in, you get a nice view on her legs... and :drool :blush The beast that lives inside Takeshi Kareshiro immediatly woke up, and I thought : I hope that car is as fast as it seems, because I won't be able to wait much :fiery
12:00 a.m
That trip to the mountain is so long ! She pretends to watch the road but she is discretly observing me, and suddenly says :
K-I like the way you are driving that car, nice hands with a sensual precision, harmonious variation of speed... Hey you seem to enjoy driving. I wonder if you are like that only with cars or if it's the same with...
T-...the body of a woman ?
K-Oooh ! :blush. You guys are always thinking about that sort of things. No, no. I meant, my expresso coffee machine has a problem, so if you could fix it... Oh, forget it. No I'm too hot. I take off that rain coat.
T-oooooooooooooohh
K-Hey watch the road, you ! Ah you've seen my snake-skin bikini. :blush , yes, I was on my way back from my pole dancing class, I had not the time to change clothes, I'd never walk in the street like that without my long coat.
T-Oh, I see, you're a pole dancer in a bar ?
K-No, why do you say that ? I go to a pole dancing class. Before there were flamenco, belly dance, Pilates... Everybody does that to exercise in Tokyo this season. Not your girlfriends ? What planet are you from ?
T-Mars...So, it's a sport now ? Er, will you do pole dancing for me ?
K-Er, I would need a pole... maybe if you do the pole...
T-oooooooooooooohhhh
K-The road Takeshi ! Watch the f... road or I drive myself !
Mystery in the mountain
1:00
That was becoming unbearable. As I was driving too fast, she was putting her hand on my thight. To feel safer, she said. That only made me go faster.
Hopefully Josyane (the navicar) started singing "Here it is ! Here it is ! Turn left...". We left the road and took a path into the woods, that led to an old Japanese farm house. There was no moon that night. An uncanny silent darkness full of insects whistling, chewing something, scratching under their wings...Why is they Japanese night so noisy ?
I jumped out of the car and walked around to open the door for her. I closed it. We couldn't see anything at all. Night was all around.
We tried to walk toward the house. Her high heel was caught between 2 stones of the path, and she fell in my arms, so close, so fragrant, soft and warm, yummy... I was unable to control myself... I was starting to :censored . Then , bang boing...I flew into the air. nobe
2:00 ........................
3:30
When I wake up, Krikri is holding my hand : "Sorry Takeshi. I heard a noise, I was worried and by reflex, I did you that kung fu thing, I didn't mean to hurt you... The noise ? That was my stupid cat, falling from the roof into the pond. Oh, he can swim. Do you feel OK ? I watched you when you were sleeping, and I would like you to... oh I really want you to...how to say ?"
We are inside a beautifully empty Japanese room of at least 30 tatami of surface. The light is very soft, the space is full of uncanny shadow. I don't know where that comes from but a paradisiac music of koto is in the air.
She is now wearing a yukata, her hair is wet and "those eyes"...so I sit up and when I try to kiss her, she whispers :
"Takeshi, take a shower first...I'm waiting...I have a big surprise for you, for us, for everybody. "
3:32
When I got out of the shower, I didn't see any towels... so I went back into the room, like that. I was so excited, like :liar (but not in the face, you see).
It was empty, the sound of the taiko drums was rolling. Great sound system, I thought. That sounded so real.
In the middle there was a stand with a samurai sword. Krikri had calligraphied on a large band of white washi : "What your heart is longing for is behind this fusuma...". I seized the sword and slashed fiercely the fusuma doors...
Tragedy
3:33
........
3:34
.......
3:35
.......
3:36
........
Is there a life after you die of shame ?
October 10th, 2008
TK-Well, doctor, I know I have to put words on these painful events.
(I'm with that doctor I have met on Pole South, he has accepted to take me on his boat for a therapy)
Doc -I'm going to help you. So this is the video. We see you slashing those paper doors with a sword and jumping into that crowded room. You are stark naked and in a state of extreme ... excitation. That's not your best movie. Er, who were those people ?
TK-All my friends and acquaintances. They had gathered 800 persons in that hall ! The largest TV studio in Tokyo.
Doc -Who is the lady that fainted ?
TK-Mum... I should say my ex-Mum, she fainted of shame. And here my brother...my ex-brother, his wife...my ex-sister in law... My ex-Dad, he had a stroke that night, but I was told that now he is OK... They say I am no longer from their family. I can understand that.
Doc -The 2 little girls are your nieces ? How old are they ?
TK-They were 2 and 5, then. I have not been allowed to see them or even to have news about them since that day.
Doc -What are they screaming ?
TK-...pfff. Uncle Takeshi, you're too scary ! No, no ! We are afraid ! Ah what is it ? Nooo Takeshi, go away !
Doc -Oh my ! Poor babies ! Ex-nieces... I can't blame the parents. They'll pay for years of therapy.
TK-Oh no ! They were the last persons I wanted to hurt...
When the doc asks what actually happened
Doc-I don't get it. Who could organize all that ? Change the data in your computer and everything ? That Krikri girl ?
TK-Not on her own. That was a French TV show. You know Christophe Pans ? Well he needed money for the Onipusha film, you know ? Oh that was complicated. So he talked to one of his friend that organizes reality shows, my staff helped them... He should have told me. They should have told me. They were given really a lot for the live show, and then to resell it to 20 other channels over the world. Now they can shoot 10 episodes of Onipusha.
Doc -You mean they have shown that on TV, as a live show ?
TK-That was their plan. Oh, for that I was extremely lucky : a storm in Tokyo, plus an earthquake damaging optical fibers under the ocean...
Doc- So they couldn't show it ?
TK-Not that day. But they are keeping it to show it on my birthday in 2008. That gave me one year to finish my career and repay my debts for all the broken contracts. After that, I will never again appear publicly. Impossible.
Doc- (laughts) Just because everybody has seen you naked ?
TK- No, no. (laughts) That was the funny part. There is worse (grimace)
Even worse for Takeshi
TK-Doc, watch the second video without me. Krikri was standing at the back of the hall. She had completely changed of style. She looked like
that.
Doc-Oh no, my ex ! All the same, pole dancers, then they put on glasses and become completely out of control... So ?
TK- I ran there and asked "Tell me the truth, who are you ?" and she said she was just a friend of one of the French crew, just helping. You hear that ? Helping ! So I grasped the glasses, big mistake as behind there were "those eyes"... Well, watch what I did then. MAD I was.
The next morning
Doc- I've seen it. Scary. Even in Z series movie, they wouldn't imagine that. I understand you better now. No wonder you're afraid of quarreling with girls if that puts you in such a state.
TK-But I felt extremely great while I was doing that. Now I hate myself. At least, she didn't sue me.
Doc-There is nothing you can do to convince them to destroy the videos ? Give them money ?
TK-I don't have enough left. They have refused. That morning, they had made me sign 6 contracts for commercials. I trusted my manager, I was busy, tired, I didn't check... I signed, I put my stamp, I agreed about everything. Anyway, the worse was losing the respect of all my friends and relatives... To broadcast the part with Krikri, they need her agreement. She had not signed in advance as she was not supposed to appear on the screen. But after ? I don't want to know. That's too late. I am not going back.
Doc-I need an assistant to help me catch the baby seals.
White epilogue
December 24th, 2010
That's Summer on the South Pole. Nature is a wonderful thing. Every morning, I watch the sea and its animals, I dive or I walk on the ice, and I find the strength to survive one more day...
TK -Doc ?
Doc- Yes, Takeshi...
TK- I wonder where Krikri is now...
Doc- You want to kill her ?
TK-I'm not sure...maybe, but not imediatly. That's interesting to quarrel a little before.
Doc-Good. I would like to study that phenomenon with the eyes. Well she changed you.
TK-I no longer drink and smoke, I have a healthier life. That's what you wanted.
Doc-But you were a good guy then... Do you regret your old life ?
TK-I have forgotten most of it. I am not unhappy here.
Doc-Takeshi, come here... Look.
TK-This seal is dead...like the penguin this morning, like the bear yesterday night.
Doc-Yes, and they didn't fight together, you know.
TK-So ? One of us killed them. Not me. You ?
Doc-(laughts) No. I guess someone stared at them with "those eyes"... Good news ? Bad news ?
TK-hmmmm...
End of translation
So even if your birthday looks like a nightmare, now, you know that could have been worse...:heart:
Krikri
(Hey girls : the fans letting him down was a JOKE, the computer was tricked, just like his phone when he tried to call home...)