+My kh action story
ANSEM STRIKES BACK

chapter 1
destiny islands

One day in a very nice place called Destiny Islands where it was always warm and nothing bad ever happend, a kid named Kaide woke up on the warm beach. He had know idea why he was there.
"Wake up you lazy bum "
"what the? oh hey Kiare. hey wheres Riku? i havent seen him for like a day now. he told me he was working on somthing. i was beginng to worry about him."
"yeah me too." said Kiare
"yeah me three" said Sora.
"Oh!! man you scared me Sora," said Kaide.
"Ha! good thats what i was aiming for .Did i get you Kiare?"
" yes" giggled Kiare.Riku said he had a surprise thats why im here exclaimed Sora yeah me to said Kiare.Did he tell you to meet you here Kaide.No i although i was in bed ooooh so he must of draged me out you all know me i could sleep through a hurricane.Yeah we know laughed Sora and Kiare.Hey Rikus finally here what did you want us for cried Sora and Kiare yeah and why did u pull me out of bed.Fine ill tell you all but first i pulled u out of bed becase you would not get out of bed.Ok ill tell you because you know how weve been talking about going leaving our island well i was tired of talking about it i made a raft for all of us to go and see rare sites. But all we need now is food so Kiare if u dont mind can u get the food.Sure said Kiare and what do we do said Kaide and Sora.Well Sora you go with kiare and Kaide come with me we have to get a sail from Wakkas mom and you know Wakkas mom so why you two get the food willl finish the raft.Ok and how about we meet back here at like 5 said Kiare.Ok i think 2 hours is good said Riku.so about 1 and a half an hour pass and they all met at the beach.Ok well my mom said be home early said sora me too said sora so ill see you tommorow ok said Kaide.actually i think i have to go also said riku ok said Kaide.But befor u go i have a question ok shoot said riku how far do you think the raft will take us?Well i dont know and what if nothings out there.Well thats one of the resons i built this raft even if theres nothing but water i still can say i know whats out there.Thanks ill see you tomorrow ok replied riku.Kaide didnt want to go home yet so he went to the secret place by the big tree and the waterfall.He wanted to see that odd looking door again.So nothing changed man i havent been in here for like 2 years.And all of a sudden a man steps out of the dark corner in the secret place.WHOA!!! what the who are you said Kaide.the figure looked at him he was wering a brown raincoat type thing he didnt show his face then he spoke."So very much to learn and you understand so little"well youll see im going to find out whats out there interupted Kaide.The man spoke again a meanless effort one who knows nothing can understand nothing exclaimed the man.And then when Kaide picked up a rock to throw at him he dissapeared.Yeah thats what i thought man i gotta tell riku ah well i better get some sleep ill tell him tomorow.

what ya think

i just found somthing i did i say there names like 10 thosand times

lol, ya I noticed that too. other then that, it's pretty good ;) . post chapter two soon.

k im working on it now man there has to be another way besides going saaid kiare exclaimed sora u know

there are PLENTY of ways! for example, if one of the characters interupted another character, you can say 'interjected' instead of 'interupted'. I'll let you figure out the rest ;) .

Use "Snapped", "Barked", "Hissed", And other such things...

`lol its funny XD but its good

thankx lavas

yeah, try using different words, that have the same meanings (synonyms).

what you could do, is press enter every now and then. You started out good with separating everything with quotes, and enter, but then it all just became one huge paragraph...not good. It's hard to read when it's like that.

But, it's good.