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John ran long fingers over the spine of the books, mumbling their titles under his breath, a frown tugging at his lips. “Where is it?” He scowled. He'd been in the library for nearly a half an hour, looking for the book. It was always here. Always. The book was so dull no one would take it out!

John stepped back and sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Damn."

Katherine walked into the library. She walked up to a bookshelf and pulled out a book. She dusted off the cover and opened it up. "Finally, it's back." She whispered.

She heard John curse. She turned and looked at him. "Is there something I could help you find, milord?"

John growled a little, annoyed before he heard a quiet voice. “What?” He asked, not because he hadn’t heard, but because it seemed the only word that came to mind. “Oh, no, thank you.” He said once he gathered his wits.

Katherine looked at her book in her arms, but then looked back up at John. "Um...not to seem rude, milord..."She whispered "But if it's the book you been looking at before, I believe its on the shelf to your right behind the book with the black and gold spine. It got pushed back there yesterday..."

John reached up and pulled it out. "Nope, not it thank you anyway, um," he looked at the page. "Your name?"

"Oh...sorry, maybe if you tell me the title I can help you find it. I've read most of the books in here..."

"My name is um... Katherine...Katherine of Blackwater"

“Ah, well, it’s,” John realized he had no idea what the book was called and had for most of his existence only picked the book up because he had memorized the spine. The book was old and the title had mostly flaked off. “I have no idea,” he admitted with a sheepish grin.

"Ah, nice to meet you, Katherine."

"Do you know what the book spine looks like. If it's a really old one like this..." She said holding up the book that she had taken off the shelf "with the title almost off. They would be on this shelf over here."It she pointed to a shelf that was just above her head. "They moved them there recently..."

"Very nice to meet you to...um." She realized that she hadn't asked his name.

"John," He responded, "of Elden," he added as an afterthought. He glanced at the shelf. "Must they rearrange the library once every three years," he sighed.

"It's nice to meet you Master John." She bowed to him before she leaned up against the bookshelf. "They have rearranged this library about 4 times since I came here..."

"Just call me John, master makes me feel old." He shrugged. "I don't mind when they rearrange it, I just wish they'd warn you."

"Maybe if you discribe the spine to me I could help you look for your book..." she suggested quietly. "But if you don't want any help I can understand..."

"Oh, no I could mostly certainly use the help," he said. "It's brown-ish red, gold binding." Wow, the pages this year were exceptionally polite. "About yay big," He held his hands aboout eight inches apart.

Katherine listened and watched as John described the book. After she was done she walked over to the other side of the library and reached up for a book. It had a brown-ish red, gold spine to it.

"Perhaps this is the book you are looking for?" she asked quietly walking back over to him and holding it out for him to look at.

John took the book Katherine. He flipped it over, and opened it, and then slammed it closed. A small cloud of dust wafted from the three open sides of the binding. He coughed a little. "This is it," he nodded. "Thank you, Katherine."

Katherine coughed as the dust left the book. "Glad I was able to help you, John. But if you don't mind me asking...what's the book about?"

"It's a very dry, very long winded, very boring, very inaccurate treatise of immortals," John told her. "It was written, say a century and a half after they improsed the immortals away."

"Oh, I think I read that book about a week ago..." She walked over to another shelf and pulled another book out. She flipped it open and scanned the first couple of pages. "My mother is a writer. She usually writes about different places in this world, but she wrote one that was about the Immortals once."

"I'm sorry if I'm bothering you with all this nonsense..." Katherine whispered.

“No problem at all,” John told the page with a shake of his head. “But, uh, why in the Dark Lord’s name did you read this? I assume no one made you, the thing hasn’t been used, since . . .” he paused then decided, “never probably.”

Katherine smiled at John. "I guess I was bored when I was looking for another book to read. I've been coming in her alot more since I don't really talk to anyone anymore, I just feel I can't trust any one anymore since that night in the courtyard..." She said quietly.

John nodded. "You're probably sick of hearing this, but that was a horrible thing that happened." He shook his head.

"It changed alot...that night. And because Falik was hurt, he's become a lot different." She sighed. "And because of that we've been distint. I've become distant with mostly everyone except for my room mate Gwynn. It's still causing problems because the squire that did it has still not been caught..."

John shook his head. "Well, you only live once," John replied. "Sorry that sounds horribly cynical, but there's either two ways to deal with near deth: become distant or hard or realize how sweet life is." He sighed. "I feel truly sorry for those who choose the former."

Katherine sat down in a chair that was near her. She put the book she had in her hands in her lap. "Your right..."She said as she listened to John talk. Just talking about that night brought back terrible memories. A couple tears slipped from her eyes. She wiped them away quickly with her sleeve. "I'm sorry..."She whispered. "It's just not easy to talk about it. And if I'm not being to rude...can we please talk about something else?"

John pulled out a handkerchief automatically and held it out to Katherine. “Here. You know I could start running over the typical ‘talking makes you feel better’, but I’ll leave it alone.”

Katherine took the handkerchief from John. "Thank-you." She wiped her face as even more tears came. "It's just hard to think about it. I came back from dinner with my older brother and went to meet Falik, and the next thing I know I'm trying to stop a third year squire that was taller and stronger then me from hurting Falik. Instead I end up getting backhanded, then punched and then have my shoulder sliced open...Then Falik getting stabbed with my dagger, while trying to help me..." She buried her face in her hands. sobbing.

John slipped an arm around the page's shoulder. John hadn't been around females who cried often. There was Toni but Toni didn't cry or show very many of her emotions for that matter, and other than that guys. "I'm sure they'll find the squire There's guards looking for him. Things get better in life."

"Thank you..."said at a quiet whisper to John. She wiped her face with his handkerchief. "I'm sorry for getting this all wet. But I guess I do have to agree with you that it does feel alittle better to talk to someome about that night."

She looked at the book in her lap. She picked it up and handed it to John. "If your interested in that old book, you should like this one to. It's about the Immortals, and their different ways of living." She didn't know if she tell him her mother wrote it or not.

John paused for a moment and had to laugh a little. “Actually, I don’t intend to use it for reference. I’m having my biannual bout of insomnia, and sleeping potions usually make me sick to my stomach, and this usually does the trick. But I'll take that anyway. If it doesn't work, never hurts to have something to do at one in the morning."

A laught escaped from Katherine. "Well if that's what it's for, then to be honest my mother's book might keep you awake and interested. But if you need a boring book there's one at the end of that shelf..."She said as she pointed to the shelf right above his head. "Is a book about former Kings of Tortall that I found exciting, but for someone else might be very boring."

John smiled. “I believe I had to read that once when I was about your age. Everyone else picked someone fairly recent; I decided to be difficult.” He sighed. “The only good thing about insomnia is suddenly there’s a lot more time to do everything than you do everything and get bored.” He smiled and then it melted away into a more serious look.

“Katherine, I know it might be hard, but with Falik you need to be there and remind him that he still has life ahead of him, a lot of life, whether he likes it or not. And even if he pushes you away a thousand times, you have to keep trying otherwise he won’t have much a life. And there many bad ways of living but the worse is not at all.”

"To be honest with you, I've tried talking with him, and not it's up to a point that every time I try to get near he walks away from me. And when he does decide to sit down and listen to me, he ends up talking about vengence..."

“Keep trying,” he said giving her shoulder a squeeze.

Katherine nodded her head in reply. "I will." She patted his hand on her shoulder. "Thank you John, talking about all this has helped alot..."