Wow! Damn! Poor Whit! And what the hell was Ebony involved in?

Wow Ava! this is great! I can't wait to read more!

i :heart: this thing! whit and vang...wow. i cant wait for scenes with them. then we have fox prowling around behind her in the shadows...did he do in ebony? and poor ebony, she seems nice. give us more ava boo!!!!!!!!!!! im proud youre finally getting this out.

:flame: :flame: :flame: I'm this upset about Ebony being dead. i need answers now. I feel for Whitney. I hope she actually makes it to her to Ma Russell's since someone is following her and all. Fix this Ms. Ava. Thanks.

Damn! :cry: :cry: :cry:

Poor Whit and Simone! I love Ma Russell! Reminds me of my grandma, no matter what you feel in her house it wont never be hunger.

What's up with Liz's attitude? And what's her relation to Fox?

i just watched Diary of Mad Black Woman this morning, so Ma reminded me of Madea. i like her. poor whit and simone. and why did fox show up with liz?

So Fox was Ebony's friend huh? The thought of him making cobbler makes me smile.

Whit ready to play Nancy Drew as much as I'm excited I'm a tad fearful.

What up with Liz? It's almost like she blames Whit or something.

Ebony left a message for Whit? Should be interesting!

Great story Ava!

crap, we've got supernatural stuff coming up? you're really bringin it ava.

so maybe fox wasn't the guy who was watching whit at the very start, maybe that was the killer! fox seems great, of course. so charming.

uncle ed seems cool. very protective. but whit is clearly too strong-willed for even his reasoning.

Nuri, you don't recognize Uncle Ed. It's Detective Green from Law and Order who is played by Jesse L. Martin. Yeah, he's in there for you sweetheart. Expect someone other primetime characters you know and love. Thanks soo much for the reviews you guys.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! no, i did recognize him, that's why i liked him so much. my jesse!

:happydance:

I love that Whit and Van know each other and are close. I hope she makes the scene soon :D

I really want to know what Ebony has to say from the grave. hopefully it has something to do with those trifling girls who made her turn away from her life's asparations. I think somebody said this on the other site, but I am really glad that what Ebony and Fox had was a good ol' platonic friendship, it means not much more drama for the couple. And I am very attracted to the fact that my boy can cook! Now. Ava, girl how soon do you think Justin could plane ride, and drive himself up to the beautiful Montreal so he could entertain my kitchen and stove some? Could you tell me? ' Cause I'll be waiting, I can't cook to save my own damn life. :blink: Great work.

ok first off, i love your attention to detail.

you did NOT have foxy blasting 'Countryside.' that's my fave song on the album. wow. perfect.

i LOOOOOOOOVE how honest foxney are with each other! it's so refreshing. forget the BS. all thats out the way, they already know they like each other.

um, im getting the feeling this person watching whit is...ethan. but maybe its just me. maybe he's like insanely bitter about her not wanting to join his firm and decided to take out whit's fam before just finally killing her. sounds good to me!

but whoever it is, i want to know, bc thats just freaky. and now theyre saying whit committed murder? ok...

whit and vang...so cute! that was a nice scene to imagine.

awww, ebony emailed her. that's just gonna drive whit harder toward figuring this murder out.

Wow! I am so freaking intrigued it's not funny!

The whole email and freaky vibe with Ebony's room was good. And Whit getting her uncle to work with her :)

Haha, Olivia & Elliott! I :wub: them!

OK, what's Fox doing at the station?

Loving the updates!

Yeah, so my hate is strong, but I think the chudster is gonna show up and be revealed as Ebony's killer. But maybe that's just me

The eerie thing with the email and the room was grand. I love how descriptive you are with Whitney's feelings though. I can't help but root for her when I read this story.

OMG, I almost cried myself in that interrogation room. I was hoping he would fry after that too. Or at least get the Adabisi treatment.

You used Stabler and Benson. I LOVE LOVE LOVE L&O SVU. Olivia is my favorite TV cop, maybe ever, so that made me very happy.

LMAO, she played her uncle like a violin. Whit is not a game. But how did Fox know to show up at the station? And why doesn't her uncle seem to trust him much.

So, I'm assuming Ethan is gonna show up, since he keeps being mentioned. I'm sure he'll annoy Whitney to no end. His own siblings don't like him. He MUST be bad. I'm sure Vangie has to show up at some point too. She needs a good friend right now.

I'm waiting for the Foxney too, but I'm patient. I'll wait.

lmao, not the adebisi treatment.


um, ava, this was SO intense. great job. these new developments are just gonna push whit harder into finding out the truth.

awww, fox was there, right in the nick of time. good ending scene.
eta: oh yeah! KAY! too funny. what a loser.

OK I'm completely FREAKED!!! That guy is creeping me out! My poor Whit!

Foxney!!! Love it! I love how he breaks through to her not let her walls stop him! Haha, they find each other irresistible! :)

Great updates! Love them!

ok, so i finally got thru it.

holy crap.

so whit is on to this dude. yes. i LOOOOOOOVE the scene in her room. and i want to know what was in this diary. ebony seems like a cool girl. i really want to know what happened to her now too.

but ok, we now know for sure that it was connected to whit. this is getting scary. and troubling. she can't die!

oh, the panic attack part was really really good also.

OH, AND...that KISS! rivals the ones on the show. and then he got to the PALM...SHAT. reminds me of erykah badu..."i want somebody to walk behind me, and kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck."

whew. ok. bringin it back.

ava: superb. um, i think the banner for this story has just moved up to priority, i may start on it tonight, bc i def don't have any classes tmw so no hw will be getting done.

oh yeah. my guesses are either this dude is good old Unc. or fox. i can see him as corrupt.

Gooo Simone! Haha, I love how she got Whit to open up! That exchange was hilarious and touching :)

I :wub: Ma Russell, she does have a point. Food for thought.

Ethan Bennett, I can't wait for the next chapter! Love the update!

another great one ava. :)

ethan as arrogant should be good.

yeah that entry ab the dude is sketch. are these 4 girls the weird ones that showed up at the funeral? the discussion with breanna should be good.
cant stand ethan.

Yeah, Ethan needs a bitchslap or two! Ugh!

Umm, yeah, he needs her? Never a good sign!

I can't wait for this Breanna convo!

Great update!

VANGIE! its freakin evangeline thats doing all this. thats my new guess.

LOL, I love your craziness!

oh wow! Whit and me need to talk, never let a-holes kill your mood unless of course he's the guy your with.

Wow, the Breana talk was wow! Ebony was keeping this a-hole secret from everyone! never a good sign.

Foxney action! :) Love it!

Love your story :D

ava,

what the crap are you trying to do to me?
i need a cold shower.
their connection...indescribable.
that scene...indescribable.
where is my fox? damnit!
that def was NOT appropo for yesterday.
this was an amazing update. that is all.

WHITNEY RUSSELL IS A GOTDAMN FREAK!!!!!!!

Ava, you and I need to have a serious chat. That whole chapter was insane. I felt like I was intruding. But seriously, I will have to snag the clothes in the trunk deal when the time comes. And I don't think Whitney even knew she was this off the chain. Good NIGHT. Foxney love scenes are amazing. Still wannna know why Uncle Ceddy doesn't trust Fox, but that can wait. I'm going to reread this chapter JUST in case I missed something.

merry xmas indeed!

where do I sign up for some of that? damn! Ava! honey! THANK YOU!!!

That was some lovemaking and I'll tell you that "Keep your eyes on me." that GOT me! Just marvelous!

I only have THREE words for your ass:



YOU ARE NOT SLICK


Ok...so that's four words, sue me.

EPITOME of DTM. epitome.

ok, see.
...
((stands in ava's face, finger pointed, hanging in mid air, face looking confrused))
...
i need to find some words.

FIRST off. HOW are you just going to bust in with 2 TOTALLY diff chapters like this?!!?! like, are you serious? i was so ready to come in here, fingers shaking from the x-rated jumpoff, then you switch it up with the return to murder mytery remix...

GOODNESS.

ok, my theory: it's SO vang. that's my story and i'm sticking to it. maybe her and good old uncle ed are in it together. but i think its her primarily. theyre the 2 everyone is most comfortable around. they played it like that. and i think liz is going to turn up missing next.

i KNOW its not my fox! NO WAY IN HELL! or, HEY-ILL, to quote ang.

but its going to be interesting to see how whit reacts to ed's charges that its fox.

fox, her awesome lover. ok, now on to part one of this...this...hell idk what to call this update.
um, can we say MUCH?!?!? i had to take a 35 minute pause after reading "from behind" for the first time. and i'm ab to go get in the shower. that scene was just...this is what it did to me::blackeye. and whit too obvi. my poor whit. he didn't have to do all that to her. DAMN. but i still loved it. loved to squirm during it. SHIT.

My Fave Line:
"Fox, baby, listen."
"Can't talk. Kissing you."

Me and Whit are so alike it's pathetic:
“Hey Van.”
Evangeline’s tone immediately changed. Whitney only called her Van when something was wrong.
“Whoa. Van? Whitney, talk to me. What is going on?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re lying. I can hear the heaviness in your voice. Now spill.”

whit and this clothes in the trunk thing: still ho-ish to me!!

YOU'RE ON PERMANENT TIME OUT.
((inserts yim timeout smilie))

SHE CAN'T WALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll share my thoughts about the actual story later. I'm still recovering.

Whew, okay it's later. LOL, I'm on AIM with fellow readers, who are teling me to post what I think. SO here it goes.

First of all. The bedroom. YOU are back online. That's right. You are now a pledge again. And NO NO NO, your ass is never getting off again. You are an eternal pledge, and Big Sister Cut A Bitch is in full affect. If you didn't want to get beat, you shouldn't have written these chapters. Or at least you could've WARNED someone. I had to take to many breaks. Once again, she couldn't WALK. She just fell of the damn bed. The girl is linguini. SHITTTTTTTTT!!!! Damn Fox, just DAYUM.

Okay, so off of that now. Loved the morning interactions between them. I want them to live together too. They are just too great together. And idk Whit. IS it love? You tell us dear. I think Fox is in it, and just won't put a name to it yet. But that boy is done.

Okay, as for the mystery. I guess I'm the only one who doens't suspect Vang for now. She never crossed my mind as having anything to do with this. I mean, she's smart. But the rest of Whit's fam doesnt even know about her. If ANYTHING, I'd think she and Ethan secretly have some type of partnership going on, so she can get more money for the firm or whatever. But killing Ebony...I don't buy it for Vang. Now EDDIE, he's a shady SOB. First of all, I think he's Ebony's dad. Don't ask me why, cause I haven't figured it out yet. But that's just my gut instinct. I'm not sure if Ebony knew or not, but I'm sure Liz didnt' know. Think of HOW Ma Russell found her. Laid out on the bed coked up and half nekkid. Why was she in Ma Russell's house nekkid? Like she had just had sex. Wouldn't Eddie be free to come and go in Ma's house? Exactly. I definitely think chad is still the killer. I think Ebony made the mistake of digging into her mom's alternate career and her past, and found something she shouldn't have, Maybe that Eddie was her dad. Eddie then wanted to scare or deter her (depending on if she knew), and so he sent someone to give her a warning, but never intending to kill her. Hence his paranoia now. He's guilty as hell.

Fox had NOTHING to do with Ebony's death. I think he was just being a friend to her and helping her fufill her dreams. Maybe he was even helpoing her pay for school. Or MAYBE, they share family members. A dad perhaps. Maybe Ebony (and I REALLY want to call her Zoe when I'm typing) is a Crane. Or maybe the Cranes funded the escort service, knowingly or unknowingly, so he felt obligated to fix her life cause his family had "ruined" it so to speak.

But this doubt Uncle Eddie is putting in Whit's head isn't gonna be good for Foxney right now. Fox does have a secret, but it has nothing to do with this murder. But he won't want to tell Whitney, and then she'll start to believe her uncle, and then Foxney will have a falling out. And NOW I'm mad at how I think this is gonna go, and you need to fix it quick, fast and in a hurry.

But yeah, that's what I've come to so far pledge. Now, ASSUME the position and take your licks like a woman.

((makes a shopping list for supplies to make a new paddle for PledgeScrubAva))

yes. you need multiples. DON'T give us any lip.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, let me just start off by saying: YALL ARE AWESOME! Like beyond awesome. If awesome was a cliff, all of yall just jumped over it and sailed into the sky. This comments had me laughing my ass OFF! Oh man, it is gonna be a while until I come down from my high. Yall have no idea how much I appreciate your comments. They are EVERYTHING to me and it totally keeps me going.

Now, onto a few things:

Sylvia: girl, you outta write your own murder mystery with all the thoughts in your head. And Liz was not in Ma Russell's house, she was in her own home. Ma Russell had gone to Jacksonville b/c her daughter in law was MIA and she found Liz in her home, coked out. AND DAYUM, I'm back online...forever. Oh well, all in a day.

Nuri: glad you enjoyed it dear. Didn't mean to mess you up. I knew that both these chapters were vastly different from eahc other but that is what I was going for. Hence me saying just enjoy and feel. And BOY, DID YALL!

Crysta: I have no words. But maybe I am slick. We shall see.

Ok, I would have to say that my favorite scene to write was all of the Foxney scenes. You see how comfortable they are with each other now and that is what I wanted. The talk with Aunt Liz, I would have to say that has been my hardest scene to write. I cried through it at some points but it was supposed to come off that way. I needed to humanize Aunt Liz and get all her secrets out. Or are they all out?

Well, I really enjoy hearing all your theories. Hold on to those. B/c maybe some are true. Or maybe not?

lol, well you told me on IM that ALL of us have been denied, so now i'm thinking it's something totally diff than what we've said.

um, "comfortable," is not EVEN the word.

Nuri its a damn ploy....you me to tell me out of ALL of us NONE of us guess right....I'm TELLING you she's pulling the 'magical' bs stuff aka a 'david cooperfeild'

Ohhh! So you thought Foxney loving would distract me from that cliff hanger? NOOOOOOOOOO!

You can't end it there! There's a law against that somewhere! I wanna why Uncle Ed thinks that and I wanna know NOW!!!

Back tot Foxney loving, orgasm in her toes eh? See that Crysta, I'm not the heathen here!

OMG!! Liz! I'm soooo shocked! Hmmm, it all makes sense now. That's real sad though, esp how she never got a chance to speak to Ebony again.


Great update!!!

Yes Het, I see who's the real heathen now.....

me too. it's still het.

THANK YOU! TELL IT GIRLS!

LMAO!!!!!!! Good one, SCORE.

Oh boy, here we go again.

First of all, I'm gonna have to read a few verses of scripture after that fantasy. I'm gonna have to let Ryan know about that one though. Whit's my kind of girl.

So, here's where we stand.

Fact: killer is a male (unless you're gonna throw in a sex change, which I don't see as your type of move).

Fact: This is the second time a particular client or case has been bought up. My theory: the killer was on the losing end of a case Whitney had for some big client. I think this is ALSO the case that caused Whitney to check her morals and stop practicing law to "save her soul" if you will and start speaking about law instead.

Fact: The killer used Ebony to get to Whitney. My theory: the killer intended to USE Ebony to get to Whitney, but sense he seems to believe Whitney is the cause of her own problems, I don't think he set out to kill Ebony. I think Ebony figured it out herself (the killer says the diary is the key, meaning Ebony KNEW Whitney would find it. She made sure the answers would be in there for her to save herself), found out he was using her, so he "had no choice" but to kill her if you will. She's just collateral damage to him on the way to the ultimate prize, He'd bed her, then kill Whitney, and leave her high and dry. Possibly like mother, like daughter.

Fact: stated emphatcially. FOX DID NOT KILL EBONY!!!!!!!!

I think Uncle Edward is most definitely Ebony's father. Same first initial. I think Fox knows Edward is Ebony's father. Let's recall Fox's demeanor around Edward at the station. He was respectful for Whitney's sake, but he wasn't trying to convince anyone that he liked the guy. So why does he feel that way? Eddie isn't even from Fort Walton, yet there is already a preconceived notion about who he is in Fox's head. And Eddie has obviously been to the FWPD before. Why was he there indeed? I wonder if Liz's mother is privy to Ebony's paternity. I would guess yes, but does Edward know that?

I have a few more theories, but I don't want to post them just yet. I have to go back and read up on a few things, since my memory fogs up from time to time. Great update though, as usual.