Metal Mania is broadcast on VH1 Classic, every Wednesday night at 11pm, MST. It's an hour of videos from the 80's and early 90's. It's noteworthy in that they dig up some obscure stuff, in addition to the well-know crap. I use an 8-point rating system. I'm sure you'll figure it out.
So here's what you missed (?)
1- Ozzy Osbourne- Shot in the Dark
From the Jake E. Lee/FAT Ozzy era. Ozzy's stage antics from this period are hilarious. He'd walk back and forth, hunched over and pointing. Using a typical metal video theme, a mousy teenaged girl becomes "possessed" by the music and transforms into something EVIL or indecent. In this case, she becomes the creepy chic on the cover of Ozzy's "Ultimate Sin" album. Cameo by Dweezil Zappa. Always felt Ultimate Sin was somewhat under-rated.
Rating: 3 paws and a slobber.
2- Testament- "Nobody's Fault"
Wow, these guys were young when this was filmed. Opening home video piece of "meet the band" is horrendous. "Hey, let's go talk to ALEX" "HI, Alex..let's go bother CHUCK". Cool song, actually..and the video features a bum with a Lords of the New Church jacket! I think this was a cover tune, originally done by Aerosmith.
Rating: 3 paws
3- Saxon- "Midnight Rider"
Cuz' it just wouldn't be Metal Mania without a Saxon or Krokus video! Man, these guys are terrible. From left to right, they look like the bastard children of Triumph, Maiden, Village People, Cheap Trick and Rainbow. Probably the closest Spinal Tap band there was. Only they were SERIOUS. Video's terrible, as it's a straight performance shoot.
Rating : four turds.
4- Scorpions- "Rhythym of Love"
Hey, the first song of the night that's about FUCKING, straight up! B-minus movie starlet Joan Severance in this, and looks pretty hump-able. Would be better if Rudy Schencker didn't look like a gay hairstylist.
Rating: 1 paw.
5-Tesla- "Little Suzi"
Hey, a song about a stripper! Tesla's first single, "Modern Day Cowboy" was their best song...and the rest got progressively worse . As it is, this is only single #2, and it's not the heaping pile of crap like "The Way it Is".
Rating: 1 paw
6- Lita Ford- "Falling in and out of love"
I'm ashamed that I wanted to hump Lita in the 80's. She looks like a Denny's employee.
Rating: 2 turds
7-Alice Cooper- "Freedom"
Alice isn't obscure, but this video is. From "Raise Your Fist and Yell, when Alice worked with two bodybuilders on bass and lead guitar. Back-up/rhythm guitarist was a regular sized dude, so he had to wear a priest costume to get attention. Rating : 1 paw.
8- Dio- "Mystery"
Dio, feel free to show someone ELSE from the band. Catchy, poppy-tune and the video has the typical Dio crap about magicians, clouds and broads in sheets.
Rating: 1 turd
9- Cinderella- "Coming Home"
In a roundabout way, it's another song about fucking. Really points out how terrible the singer's voice was. I swear parts of this song were ripped off by Slaughter, about a year later, for their shit-fest "fly to the angels"
Rating: 1 turd
10- Megadeth- "Symphony of Destruction"
Six months after Metallica's Smell the Glove/Black Album was released, Dave Mustaine decided to stop pretending to be like Metallica, and decided to rip them off, straight-up. Shots of the band are identical to Metallica's "Enter Sandman" video. Simplistic song that's remembered way too fondly by early 90's teenagers.
Rating: 2 turds
11- Skid Row- "18 and Life"
There's a rule in the eStragand Complex. Whenever we hear the words "Ricky was a young boy.." we change the channel.
Rating: 4 turds
12- Ratt- "I want a Woman"
Funny how the chorus sez: "I want a woman, not some little girl".... and they show pictures of concert-goers, all about 15! Guitar riffs are typical Ratt, but the lyrics are brainless. Yes, it's about fucking.
Rating: 1 turd
13- Metallica- "Whiplash"
From Metallica's "Binge& Purge and Give Us Money" set. Flashback to 1992, when it was suddenly OKAY for radio to play the old Metallica back catalogue. Also the point at which Metallica "jumped the shark"
Rating: 2 paws
Summary:High turds- (tie) Saxon and Skid Row
High paws- Ozzy