This month...a whole bunch of stuff happens that will forever change the DC Universe! Well, at least for a few month. Maybe.
Alexander Luthor's Big Clunky Cannon Thingie has been activated. As expected, a key element was that each cannon captive was from a different Earth. Luthor adds some hackeneyed explanation that each person had some sort of genetic code essential for the big Earth split. Then things get really out of hand as Luthor explains that he's been behind all the random wackiness of the past few months. It really doesn't make much sense... it's usually a good plot device to tie up your massive conspiracy plot and have readers say "oh! It all makes sense now.. THAT'S why he did THAT. I shoulda' seen that!". But everything seemed so pieced-together that it feel more like a retcon repair job, rather than a planned story. I'll bet that if you check Luthor's notes, you'll find that he also put in a call to Spider-Man's Scrier and that he was responsible for the return of Norman Osborn! For a minute, I thought that Luthor was going to claim responsibility for some of the dastardly deeds of the 90's... like Doomsday popping out of the ground, Hal Jordan freaking out, Bane snapping Batman's spine, the creation of Primal Force and foil-embossed covers. But..it's only issue FOUR...those things may yet be tied into this story. It'd make as much sense as the other crap they've tossed in.
Luthor's exact powers are ambiguous. In the original "Crisis", I thought he was some sort of electro-power absorbing conduit clown. When detailing his plans, it appears that Luthor has almost limitless power. He can travel across space, switch dimensions, harness magic and all sorts of stuff. In classic villain form, he monologues his evil plan to Power Girl...then slaps a big open-mouthed smooch on her. I'm surprised Luthor didn't say "ahh..you have spirit, my dear. I LIKE that!" Shit, he just failed Evil Villain 101 and didn't even get out a good "moooo-wahahaha!".
Psycho-Pirate's involved, but he's really not essential to what's been going on. I think they missed the boat with this one, as I always thought Psycho-Pirate, the only villain who remembers the multiple earths, would be a central key to any Crisis follow-up. Like, maybe someone would hook him up to Big Clunky Cannon, or use his brain as the key to unlock the multiple earths again. Here, he's just a background flunkie.
"Evil" Superboy, or Superboy Prime meets up with the current "regular" Superboy-- the one I call "casual Friday Superboy", with the jeans and t-shirt. They have a big ol' fight in and around Smallville. Casual Superboy, being a complete putz, calls in EVERY worthless DC hero from the Titans, Doom Patrol and JSA. Guess all those other disasters that have been happening aren't so important that EVERY hero can't suddenly rush in to help Casual Superboy fight Superboy Prime in the middle of Kansas. Nice to know the heroes have priorities. I mean, he's only SUPERBOY....and we all know how powerless that makes him! During the fight, Pantha and a few other worthless heroes are killed by Superboy Prime. Big finale has all the Flashes grabbing Superboy Prime and eating him up with the "Speed Force". Then, the JSA disappears when Luthor's cannon is activated. By my score, this is at least the third time they've been zapped away.
A quick one-page interlude has Booster Gold making Gary Glitter proud: he sneaks into a young boy's bedroom to "probe" him. It's the random kid who picked up the Blue Beetle scarab and the scene is as terrible as it sounds. The kid says: "oh, you're the guy on my toothpaste-- as bright as Gold!". Really, with the current teeth WHITENING trend who would want toothpaste as "bright as GOLD". Besides, I thought Booster was out of the marketing business and banging an 80 year old broad named Gladys! Booster also has his old buddy Skeets and refers to him as "an eBay reject". What a witty and trendy JOKE! An eBay reject! Heehee...stop it, you're killing me. In fact, you have my permission to kill me...please. At least when I'm decomposing in a coffin I won't have to read eBay "jokes".
There's another interlude involving a new Spectre. Another chance to "re-define the Spectre". Never expected that! Plus, Firestorm has...something happen to him. The old Brotherhood of Evil also uses Chemo as a WMD and drops him on Nightwing's town of Bludhaven. Chemo and the Brotherhood were in virtually EVERY battle royale background shot on the original Crisis, so I'm sure the Writers creamed their pants when they got to include them. Thus, I expect the "New" Doom Patrol of Celsius, Tempest and Negative Woman to pop up soon. I'm guessing Bludhaven was bombed because "it's evil and doesn't exist in other Earths"..or something of that nature. But, if you already have the power to recrate the entire EARTH, I don't think you have to worry about one little geographic hiccup.
Big climax has Earth-2 Superman and Lois Lane returning "home", in front of the Daily Star building. Like I said last month, I'm sure Superman will realize that he's been duped by Luthor and "make the ultimate sacrifice" to save the multiverse. If multiple earths is the result, then just like the original Crisis, it will have seemed like a massive pain in the ass to split off the Charlton, Fawcett and Golden Age characters.
..and hey, since this story revolves around "multiple earths"...where the HELL is the Crime Syndicate?!