OFFICIAL post Super Bowl thread. Here. Mostly dealing with the kitsch and pagaentry, but talk football if you must.

Skipped most of the pre-game bullshit. Watched "View to a Kill" on some movie channel. James Bond banged Grace Jones. James, have some STANDARDS! I'd rather bang Halle Berry, but Grace Jones circa 1985 would've kicked ass in an X-men movie as Storm.

Right, on to the football...

Highlight for me was about five minutes before the official coverage began. I caught the end of some pre-game "concert" with the Black-Eyed Peas and Santa Claus. I was hoping for a wardrode malfunction from that hotsy totsy skank from the Peas, but to no avail. Anyways, at the end of the number, one of the Peas wraps up the song. He says stuff like "Peace, ya'll... everybody scream", etc, etc. His final statement was "everybody, have a HAPPY FOOTBALL!" That's now in my vocabulary.

No truth to the rumor that the NFL took all the School of the Deaf and Blind kids, sat them in bleachers in the parking lot, and told them they were at the Super Bowl.

The Patriots got ROBBED on that coin flip! Would it have hurt that kid to give the coin ONE fucking flip? He just dropped it!

GoDaddy kicks ass.

The FedEX commercial was spot on! This was the "10 things you need for your Super Bowl" comercial ad with Burt Reynolds. Every ensuing commercial walked right into to those points. The dumb joke, the "bonus ending", talking animals ( and the pop song. You couldn't take ANY of the other commerical serious after FedEX. My personal favorite.

The VISA/Marvel heroes ad was dumb. Showed how stupid heroes would look in the "real world". But it did score points for including the NEW Wolverine costume.

In a funny role reversal, Ice Cube is now "XXX" and Vin Diesel is now Ice Cube in "Are We There Yet". I hated "XXX", but Ice Cube AND Samuel L. MuthaFuckin' Jackson in one movie?! My ass is there, bitch! "Longest Yard" and "War of the Worlds" can take a hike, but "Batman Begins" looks like fun.

Pepsi is like the Coors of the soda industry. They try soooo damn hard to make these "funny" and memorable ads, but consistently fail. P-Shitty and an OLD MTV host? And who the fuck dug up MC Hammer for their ad?! What, Adam Curry and Young MC weren't available?!

Halftime was okay. In the past they've tried to sandwich too much crap into it. Here's ZZ Top, now here's Diana Ross on a helicopter, now here's Gwen Stefani, now here's a 3-D Coke ad, now here's Nelly! With each playing 30 second snippets of their "song". It sounded like Paul McCartney got off 4 full songs and they had their fireworks. Formula might work for the next few years. Pick up mainstream crap like the Rolling Stones and let them play 3 songs. But please keep Aerosmith the fuck away. Be careful with the artist selection. I still get uneasy thinking about how the NFL endulged Michael Jackson's wet dream by letting him sing in the middle of 500 kids in 1993 (Cowboys/Bills I).

I think Terrell Owens did something between the commercials.

I like the monkey ads. Both the CareerBuilder and Verizon ones. My favorite all-time commercial is still one from 2001 (Giants/Ravens)-- an old guy and a monkey dancing on top of a bucket in a garage. I think it was E-trade and the slogan was "well, we've just wasted 2 million bucks". I also loved those Little Caesar's orangataun commercials from the mid 90's. Oh yeah, plus Philoe Beddoe and Clyde. To me, "primates = funny".

Who the hell were all those guys in the "tomorrow" ad? I recognized Ben Roethlisberger, Joe Montana and Jon Gruden....no clue on the others. Was that an NFL Network ad? Some of their work sucks (like the Dating Game ads), but some rocks (like the awesome "Space Raiders" ad, with Al Davis as the Emperor).

"Simpsons" was so-so, but man, "American Dad" SUCKS. "We're going to leave you in stitches with our SHARP wit and cunning political satire! We're not only funny, we're SMART!". Nope, you're fucking douchebags. Go ahead and cancel this shitpot, then fans can whine about how it was "too smart and edgy" for TV, while buying the DVD and getting it back on FOX for 2008. And yup, 3 years from now, it'll STILL suck.