For those that tried to block it out of their minds, last year I somehow recaped (in short form) WrestleMania's 1-20, with a few instances of recycling older reviews. With Rowe's suggestion, I decided to throw them all into one topic. Instead of merging them all and confusing the old conversations, I'll simply re-post them, along with a link to the original topic.


http://z7.invisionfree.com/Da_Wrestling_Bo...?showtopic=2191


- Once again I'm going to try and do a review of every [PPV name here], but I almost always give up early on, so in this case, I'll just do the "random comments" review, since you can find at least 50 reviews of detailed PBP anywhere else on the Internet. I'll just copy and paste my random story from before, that I didn't see this WrestleMania until after the 15th, so you can guess how I reacted when I first saw it, still being a mark.


- Originally broadcasted from New York, NY from Madison Square Garden. Commentary is being provided by Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura, while Gene Okerlund covers the backstage interviews and Lord Alfred Hayes just randomly talks. I'm going to ignore the interviews, since they're the basic "I want to win" stuff. Also, I should note, that this show is pretty much like every other MSG show at the time, and thus only had 2-3 matches worth a shit while the rest of the card showcases some newcomers and/or squashes. Also Part II, since it's Madison Square Garden, I'll be doing the "list wrestlers hometown and weight" bit.


- Tito Santana (Tocula, Mexico... 244 lbs.) vs. The Executioner (Parts Unknown... ???):
The first match in the history of WrestleMania, and it's nothing more than a squash match for Santana, who was in the middle of a feud with Greg Valentine over the Intercontinental Championship. Since Valentine is preoccupied, Santana gets to face Buddy Rose under a mask to remind everyone "hey, remember that I'm still feuding with Valentine!" Very average match, with nothing really of note happening, but nothing too bad either. Executioner gets in some token Jobber offense™, but Santana manages to make the El Superchico comeback with the Flying Jalupeño, and finishes the Executioner off with the Figure-Four Leglock at 4:47. I'm not a big expert of 1985 WWF television, but I don't think Buddy Rose hung around much longer under the Executioner mask, and instead passed it on to other would-be Jobbers that no one cared about until Terry Gordy somehow got the gimmick in 1996. (**)


- "Special Delivery" Jones (Philadelphia, PA... 239 lbs.) vs. King Kong Bundy (Atlantic City, NJ... 458 lbs.) (w/ Jimmy Hart):
A rather famous match, but not because of anything good. S.D. Jones, was in short, a Jobber who occasionally beat other jobbers on television and arena shows. King Kong Bundy was fairly new to the WWF (see my comment about MSG shows), so Jones is just going to be fed to him. Rather quick match, as Bundy rams Jones into the corner, follows up with the avalanche, and then connects with the big splash for the brisk victory at 0:23. However, the victory was announced at 9 seconds, which makes no sense unless you can't tell time. Although this is "the fastest match" according to the WWF (in WM history), the real winner I believe was the Hart Foundation defeating the Bolsheviks in 18 seconds at WrestleMania VI, and the "record time" was broken twice in 1985 (Dynamite Kid pinned Nikolai Volkoff in 7 seconds and Uncle Elmer pinned Jerry Valiant in 6), making it less special. (DUD)


- Ricky Steamboat (Hawaii... 237 lbs.) vs. Matt Borne (Portland, Oregon... 241 lbs.):
Much like Bundy, Steamboat had only debuted in the WWF about a month or two earlier, so here's a chance for the MSG crowd to get into Steamboat without putting him into 20 minute matches with someone equal to him on the card. For those who don't recognize Borne, he also worked under the gimmicks of Col. DeKlerk and Big Josh in WCW from 1990-1991, as well as the original heel Doink in 1993. Much like Santana/Executioner from earlier in the show, this is just here to showcase what Steamboat has to offer, and is basically another extended squash. Borne controls briefly, but ends up taking to the fall to Steamboat's top rope cross body press at 4:37. I hate repeating comments from the same review, but this was decent, but nothing spectacular, mainly because Borne was just there to make Steamboat look good in a quick manner. (*1/2)


- David Sammartino (Pittsburgh, PA... 252 lbs.) (w/ Bruno Sammartino) vs. Brutus Beefcake (Parts Unknown... 273 lbs.) (w/ Johnny Valiant):
And here we have our first of many really bad WrestleMania matches that makes one long for a bullet through the brain. Beefcake was never considered a "good wrestler" (he was given half-ass training from Hogan during their free time), but this was when he REALLY sucked. For those who have never seen David Sammartino, just imagine Greg Gagne, Erik Watts, Brian Christopher, or David Flair, except worse. What do they all have in common? I'm sure everyone can figure it out. Anyway, this match really fucking sucks, and is pretty much non-stop restholds and the occasional sucky punch exchange. To say the crowd isn't really into either man would be an under-statement. The match finally shows mercy by ending when Daddy Sammy and Johnny V. run in for no reason, causing a double DQ at 11:37, and setting up a Bruno/David vs. Beefcake/Valiant main event at the next MSG event. Before anyone asks, no, that match wasn't very good either, but at least the crowd was into it since Bruno was in the ring most of the time, and he was probably the only guy getting "Hogan" reactions, thanks to his legacy from the 60's and 70's in the north-east. (-*)


- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (Seattle, WA... 248 lbs.) (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Junkyard Dog (Charlotte, NC... 280 lbs.):
Another match with zero build up. Valentine was in the middle of a feud with Santana, as mentioned earlier, so it was pretty much a given to smart fans back then that JYD wasn't walking out of the show with the belt. JYD is the first person to come out to theme music at a WrestleMania, using Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust", or whatever it was called. I could make a really lame drug joke at JYD's expense, but I'm not that heartless. In a series of them on this show, it's yet another dull, disappointing match with a shitty finish. Valentine originally wins by rolling up JYD and using the ropes for leverage at 5:58, but Tito Santana comes out to argue the result, and for once, the referee actually decides to take the wrestlers word for it, and thus restarts the match. Valentine won't have any of it, and is quickly counted-out, giving JYD the victory, but not the title. Not a good match by any stretch of the imagination, but much better than the previous. ( * )


- WWF Tag Team Championship Match:
The U.S. Express (Windham: Sweetwater, TX... 240 lbs./Rotundo: Syracuse, NY... 238 lbs.) (w/ Lou Albano) vs. Nikolai Volkoff (USSR... 313 lbs.) & The Iron Sheik (Tehran, Iran... 258 lbs.) (w/ Freddy Blassie):
I don't think there was any REAL backstory to this, other than Sheik and Volkoff hate America, and, gasp, the reigning tag team champions happend to call themselves the U.S. Express. Windham would eventually go on to smaller and worse things in the WWF as the Widow Maker, the Stalker, and Blackjack Windham, while Rotundo went on to become an evil I.R.S. man. You can say the same thing for the opponents I guess, since Volkoff went on to formt he JTTS team of the Bolsheviks, become a flag waving american bangwagon jumper, and became Nickel & Dime Volkoff in 1994, while Sheik became an Iraqi despite being from Iran. One final note for the pre-match shenanigans: The Express come out to Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA", which is really a negative song rather than some flag waving one. FINALLY... onto the match. It's nothing great, but surprisingly decent, considering who makes up the heel team. I have a hunch the match is clipped, so I guess that was a good thing. After some pier-six brawling, the Sheik manages to bust Blassie's cane over the back of Windham, and Volkoff covers for the three count at 5:02, giving them the tag titles, and also the first title change in WrestleMania history. Never fear though, as the Express would regain the titles from the evil foreigners about 3 months later. (**1/4)


- $15,000 Body Slam Challenge:
Andre The Giant (Grenoble, France... 476 lbs.) vs. Big John Studd (Los Angeles, CA... 367 lbs.) (w/ Bobby Heenan):
Stipulations du jour: If Andre manages to slam Studd, he wins "$15,000", and if Studd slams Andre or the match goes to a time limit draw, Andre must retire... yeah, as if either stipulation means ANYTHING in wrestling. A few months back, Studd and Ken Patera did a major beatdown on Andre, resulting in them cutting his hair. THE 'FRO MUST GO! Andre is pissed off, so here's his revenge. Boring, dull, boring match with Andre resting like crazy and Studd getting pretty much zero offense in. The madness ends when Andre successfully slams Studd at 5:54, and winning the money. The celebration is short-lived, as Heenan steals back the money while Andre manages to throw out a few handful of dollar bills. That was basically the entire thing to the slam challenge. If someone actually did do it, they wouldn't get the money. OH THE BOOKING CREATIVITY! Not really a "match", so I won't try and give it a rating. (N/R)


- WWF Womens Championship Match:
Leilani Kai (Hawaii... 162 lbs.) (w/ Fabulous Moolah) vs. Wendi Richter (Dallas, TX... 145 lbs.) (w/ Cyndi Lauper):
This match was set up at the February '85 MSG event, where Kai defeated Richter for the championship, probably with more than a little help from the Geriatric Moolah. Richter comes out to Lauper's song "Girls Just Want to Have Fun", which I guess is a step up from using "She Bop", yet another song the WWF production crew probably had no idea what was about. As usual with pretty much all women's wrestling from the WWF, this match is nowhere near being good, but the crowd is really pumped to my surprise, so I'll be a little more forgiving with the rating. Lots of nothing happens until a fight breaks out between the two wrestlers corner-women, and when the most notable moment doesn't include the actual performers of the match, that's a bad sign. Anyway, Kai comes off the top with a cross body, but Richter uses the momentum to roll over on top of Kai, and wins the Womens Title for the second time at 6:11. Richter's title reign would last until the Fall of 1985, when Vince McMahon pulled a screwjob on her when she refused to sign a contract that was shoved in her face earlier in the night of the incident in question. (3/4*)


- The Main Event:
Hulk Hogan (Venice Beach, CA... 302 lbs.) & Mr. T (Chicago, IL... 225 lbs.) (w/ Jimmy Snuka) vs. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (Glosgow, Scotland... 232 lbs) & Paul Orndorff (Tampa, FL... 252 lbs.) (w/ Bob Orton Jr.):
Not a whole lot of build up here, but everything came to a head at the War to Settle the Score MTV Special, which saw Hogan defend the title against Piper, and featured run ins from Mr. T and Paul Orndorff, setting this match. The celebrities come out now, including Billy Martin (former multi-time manager of the New York Yankees), Liberace, and former Boxing Heavyweight Champion, Muhammad Ali, who is acting as the Special Outside Enforcer, also known as the worthless referee. The pre-match shenanigans eat up a good 10-minutes, and the crowd is pumped up for all of it. As he did for most of the first year of his second run, Hogan comes out to Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger." To continue beating the same phrase into the ground, this match is far from a masterpiece, but considering it involves a celebrity who has never wrestled a match, it's rather entertaining. Not much outside of brawling, but it's better to book around everyone's strengths than weakness. After a pier-six brawl errupts, Bob Orton sneaks into the ring and comes off the top to deliver a blow with his cast, but Hogan manages to move out of the way, putting Orndorff in place to take the blow instead, and Hogan makes the easy cover at 13:22. The war is far from over though, as the feuds continued through the rest of the year, except Orndorff ended up turning face quickly after this and Orton was pushed more into Orndorff's role than as a back-up lacky type guy. After a post-match interview with the winners, the first WrestleMania comes to an end. (**1/2)


Final Thoughts: Going by the star ratings, this show looks rather sad, with nothing breaking the 3-star barrier. However, there's the little "wrestling has evolved so much" factor, and being 1985, you don't really expect a lot of great wrestling, but great storylines and ass kickings. The main event delivered, but everything else pretty much comes off as flat, and was used primarily to push feuds for other shows, which proves that WrestleMania had yet to become the show to blow everything off with the babyfaces standing victorious. Anyway, with the rambling done, WrestleMania 1 gets an automatic thumbs up recommendation, simply for the fact it was the first WrestleMania.

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WWF WrestleMania 2

- Time for my least favorite WrestleMania of all time! Since these were the early Mania's, McMahon wanted to make it as big as possible each year, so for WrestleMania 2, he (or probably someone else who he stole credit from) came up with the idea of holding the event at 3 seperate locations, in 3 different time zones. The NWA had done something similar with their Starrcade SuperCards, usually holding shows in North Carolina and Atlanta, so why not Vince give it a try? Quick Note: This is the Coliseum Video version, so while most (if not all) the matches are in complete form, pretty much everything else possible is cut out, including most of the interviews and all the entrances.


- Quick rundown for the locations: the first 4 matches are being held in Uniondale, NY, with Vince McMahon and Susan St. James on commentary. The next 4 match from Chicago, IL with Gorilla Monsoon, Mean Gene Okerlund, and Kathy Lee Crosby on commentary. Finally, the remaining matches are from Los Angeles, CA, with Jesse Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Elvira of all people doing commentary. Talk about a weird threesome. Short and sweet, most of the commentary is rather sucky or annoying, thanks to EVERY match being called by at least 1 celebrity with no wrestling knowledge. Where's Bob Uecker when you need him!?


- "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff vs. The Magnificent Muraco (w/ Mr. Fuji):
I used to think this was some sort of branched feud to do with Roddy Piper, but now I think it had something to do with the incident on SNME a month earlier, where Muraco and Bundy laid an ass-kicking on the Hulkster. Since Orndorff was still Hogan's lap dog of the year, he probably took it upon himself to get revenge on Muraco while Hogan was scheduled to face Bundy in a Cage match later in the night. With all that out of the way... this match sucks. For a match so short, they don't really go through the trouble of pretending like they give a shit. After a brawl sends both men outside of the ring, you can guess what opens: A double count-out finish clocked in at the 4:30 mark. TO OPEN THE BIGGEST SHOW OF THE YEAR! The crowd proudly lets out the first "bullshit" chant in WrestleMania history, especially since this part of the card looked rather weak compared to all of the others. (DUD)


- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
"Macho Man" Randy Savage © (w/ Elizabeth) vs. George "The Animal" Steele:
It's the feud that wouldn't die, but this was actually one of their earliest encounters, not counting their match at the January '86 Saturday Night's Main Event, which triggered the feud. Short and sweet, Steele took a liking to Elizabeth, so Savage is pissed off and wants to kick Steele's ass. Savage was only about a month into his reign here, besting Tito Santana for the strap in Boston, with more than a little help from an international object. For those not familiar with the Memphis style match, this is a great blue print. Savage does NOTHING but stall, come in the ring, get knocked out, and stall again. I pretty much described the entire match. The match goes from bad to worse, as Steele starts beating up Savage with a bunch of flowers, and Savage actually sells it! At least Savage is trying to make an attempt, but this match was fucked seconds into it considering loveable George Steele is even worse in the ring than heel George Steele. On to the finish... Savage comes off the top with his signature elbow drop, but GEORGE FUCKING STEELE kicks out of the pin. Savage then rolls him up and uses the ropes for leverage to retain the title at 7:07. Ouch... a shitty match with an anti-climatic finish. This feud, sadly, would go on for more than a year before Savage finally won the blowoff. Hell, Savage won EVERY match I think. As for this match, there's no doubt in the world that the negative stars are coming out. (-**)


- George Wells vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts:
Fairly early in the run of Jake Roberts in the WWF, as he only debuted a month or so prior, and was yet to be truely "Challenged" in a match at this point. George Wells is a JTTS, but the card is spread so thin, even he is getting a spot on the biggest show of the year. According to commentary, Wells is a former professional football player, probably from the CFL. That's all I know about him though, since he only hung around for about a year, and doing nothing of note in that time other than jobbing to everyone. Wells, surprisingly, dominates the entire match with some basic moves like slams and hip tosses. Roberts heads out of the ring, and that proves to be the smartest move of the night so far, as he catches Wells coming in the ring with a high knee, and the DDT sends Wells back to the bench on the Saskatchewan RoughRiders bench, or whatever team he was on, at 3:06. After the match, Roberts gives Wells the Damian treatment, making Vince McMahon scream like a girl. This was nothing more than a squash match for Roberts, but Wells got some offense in, no matter how worthless. ( * )


- Hilarious interview from Roddy Piper, as he says, and I Quote... "If Mr. T can knock me out, I will not only quit professional boxing, I would quit and retire from professional wrestling, I would quit tiddleywinks, I would quit dating girls!" But he says he's going to keep Bob Orton around with him. Sounds like this interview was taped during the opening match, as a faint chant in the background sounds like "Beach Bum".


- New York Main Event; Boxing Match:
Mr. T (w/ Joe Frazier) vs. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (w/ Bob Orton Jr.):
I think it's a common rule, but WORKED Boxing Matches on a show promoting WRESTLING never works. From this, to the Butterbean fiascos, Johnny B. Badd, and the infamous Brawl for All, it just doesn't work. The only positive things going into this match is that A.) Roddy Piper was a former amatuer boxer, so he was a little credibility, and B.) Mr. T trained in a boxing role for Rocky III. That doesn't mean he can work a live match all in one go, though. As you would expect, most of the "punches" thrown either miss by a mile, or look so fucking fake that you can't help but laugh. At one point, they start throwing WRESTLING PUNCHES, which would probably knock someone out, but are shrugged off like they were hit by Glass Joe in Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. The madness runs the length of nearly 4 Rounds until Roddy Piper has enough of this and slams Mr. T, awarding Mr. T the match by Disqualification at 1:17 into Round 4. I won't even try to rate this as an actual match, but on the "Boxing Scale", it was really bad. This, I think, FINALLY ended the Mr. T relationship with the WWF until his very brief Summer of '87 run as a Special Enforcer. (N/R)


- WWF Womens Championship Match:
The Fabulous Moolah © vs. Velvet McIntyre:
I don't know if I mentioned this in the first WrestleMania review, but Moolah was the one put into the match for the famous "Wendi Richter Screwjob", donning the mask of "the Spider Lady", and getting the very surprise pin for the title, despite Richter obviously kicking out at the 1-count. According to some reports, McIntyre actually had a reign as Womens Champion, but it must've been very short-lived, since it's rarely ever mentioned by anyone. My pre-match rantings are longer than the actual match, as it's super-rushed, with Moolah pinning McIntyre after she missed a splash from the second rope to retain the title at 0:57, despite McIntyre's foot being on the ropes for the entire three-count. Velvet screwed Velvet! Oh great, I'm stealing jokes from whats-his-name again. I need to get kicked in the balls! (DUD)


- United States vs. U.S.S.R. Flag Match:
Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff (w/ Freddy Blassie):
Just incase anyone thinks the evil Russian is winning a flag match, I won't spoil the finish now. For those who don't know who Kirchner is, join the Club. He seems like a poor attempt to recreate the Sgt. Slaughter gimmick, but from what I've seen of Kirchner, he's dog shit in the ring and wasn't over enough to even be considered a midcarder. Once again, the roster is spread so thin, THIS match makes it onto the big show (not Paul Wight). I'd rather have seen both men thrown in the battle royale and putting a tag match on between the Hart Foundation and Killer Bees, but I'm fantasy booking again. Despite lasting barely a minute, Kirchner BLADES, although it appears that Volkoff did it for him. Anyway, nothing of note happens until Kirchner bops Volkoff with Blassie's cane, and picking up the pinfall victory at 1:36. After the match, Kirchner gets to wave the American Flag, as if that booking decision was a surprise to anyone. (DUD)


- 20-Man; WWF vs. NFL Battle Royale:
(Participants: Jimbo Covert (NFL), Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin (NFL), Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, The Iron Sheik, Ernie Holmes (NFL), B. Brian Blair, Jumpin' Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic (NFL), Brett Hart, Jim Neidhart, Russ Francis (NFL), Bruno Sammartino, William "Th Reffrigerator" Perry (NFL), Andre The Giant)
As Usual, I will only cover the eliminations until the ring has cleared out considerably (or in better terms, down to the final few participants). Ernie Ladd joins the commentary team just as the match is about to start. Everyone gangs up on the Fridge of course, but Covert makes the save for him. Covert and Tonga do some hugging until Bill Fralic is able to push both over at 0:56. Studd and Andre go at it while Bret Hart squares off with Brunzell. Holmes is dumped out by Sammartino at 1:45. Niedhart eliminates Jim Brunzell (who is sporting a cast) at 2:34. Tony Atlas is out of it thanks to William Perry at 2:57 (poor guy, first this, then Saba Simba...). Morales and Martin both go out in the same fassion as the first two men at 3:49. Ted Arcidi is dumped out by Hillbilly, Spivey, and Blair at 4:21. Iron Sheik eliminates Spivey soon after at 4:36. Hillbilly Jim and Brian Blair go out as well at the hands of the Sheik, at 4:47. Fralic is eliminated at 5:14 by Studd and the Sheik. Sammartino back drops the Sheik out at 5:24. Sammartino is tossed off out by Studd at 5:52. The Foundation double team Perry as Studd clotheslines Andre to the corner. Perry with a tackle on the Foundation gets a monster pop, but both members hold onto the ropes. Perry tackles Studd into the corner now. He goes for it it again, but Studd elbows him, and hip tosses him out at 6:31. Perry offers Studd a handshake, and goes heel and pulls him out at 6:50! The Foundation work over Francis and double dropkick Andre into the ropes, where he gets tied up of course. Francis does his best to keep away, but is taken down easily, and is dumped out fairly easily at 7:51. Andre continues being double teamed, and Neidhart gets whipped into Andre with a shoulder block. Andre fights off an elmination attempt. They try the same move, except Brett runs into a big boot. Andre beats on both men and knocks their heads together. Andre has Anvil by the hair of his chin, and boots him over the top at 8:58. Brett goes to the top rope, but Andre catches him and slams him onto Niedhart at 9:09 to pick up the victory. Hard to rate Battle Royales, but this one wasn't too bad, and they at least tried making it unique with the NFL players. (N/R)


- WWF Tag Team Championship Match:
The Dream Team © (w/ Johnny V) vs. The British Bulldogs (w/ Lou Albano):
(Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake vs. The Dynamite Kid & Davey Boy Smith)
Coliseum Video pretty much clips out any appearence of Ozzy Osbourne, so I'll pretend he isn't in the Bulldogs corner, either. The Bulldogs/Dream Team had been going at it for a few months at this point, including a non-title victory for the Bulldogs and the Dream Team evening the up the score on an episode of Saturday Night's Main Event. The average of good to suck is a 3:1 shot, which is pretty damn good for 1986. Valentine is one of those unappreciated workers of the past, in my opinion. While he was never Mr. Electricity, he was always a solid worker, and even managed to get good matches out of Brutus Beefcake! After over an hour of pure trash, this match finally lifts my spirits up, as the Bulldogs dominating with their high impact offense and the selling of Valentine covers up Beefcake's lack of everything. This one is about lightyears ahead of everything else done on the show, and the crowd is really into it. Davey Boy gets to play the face-in-peril, and in a pretty surprising finish, whips Valentine into his corner, which happens to cause Valentine to bop heads with Dynamite Kid, knocking him off the top rope in the process in a nasty little bump that was probably nothing unusual about DK's matches (and what lead to him being stuck in a wheel chair for the rest of his life), and Smith makes the cover for the pinfall and the Tag Titles at 11:48. Really good match that did it's best to save this portion of the show, but for Gods sake, they aren't miracle workers! The Bulldogs would reign as champions until the February 7th, 1987 episode of SuperStars, where the Hart Foundation took advantage of a near-crippled Dynamite Kid, and double teamed Davey Boy non-stop, and won with a little help from referee Danny Davis, who went on to become one of the most over heels in 1987. (***)


- Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez:
Time for the final stretch of the show in Los Angeles! Hercules still has his Bruiser Brody wanna-be hair-style and at the time came to the ring wearing gladiator style outfits, because he's HERCULES! AHAHAHA! That creative Vince McMahon... Hercules was also managed by Freddy Blassie at this point, but since Blassie was in Chicago to manage Nikolai Volkoff, he doesn't have anyone to back him up and cheat in the corner. Despite Steamboat being in the prime of his career, Hercules was still way too green to get an outstanding (or even very good) match out of, so Steamboat relies mostly on his arm drags and resting throughout the opening minutes of the match, while Hercules takes control with his usual shitty offense and more resting. Hercules meets his fate at the end though, as he stupidly heads up to the top rope, and naturally his splash meets the knees of Steamboat, and Steamboat quickly goes to the top himself, and comes off with his signature cross body press, and that's good enough for the three count at 7:26. Boring match, but not entirely worthless. Sadly, this is the second best match of the night at this point, which goes to show how bad this has been. (*1/2)


- Uncle Elmer vs. "Adorable" Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart):
Excuse me while I go wash my eyes out with alcohol. Once more for those unfamiliar, Uncle Elmer is a really fat Hillbilly brought in to the WWF when Hillbilly Jim broke his leg or whatever. From there, we got Cousin Junior and Cousin Luke to drive the point home that Hillbillies are funny to look at and suck in the ring. Someone must've had some brains though, as Elmer didn't last long enough to see WrestleMania III, and neither did any other non-Jim Hillbilly. Really bad match, but not as bad as Savage vs. Steele from earlier in the night. Elmer is just fucking terrible and can't even do a leg drop properly. Adonis sells his ass off, but once again, selling a lot for a shit worker doesn't improve the match. The finish comes quick, but not quick enough, as Elmer misses a leg drop, and the recently ballooned Adonis comes off the top rope with a splash for the three count at 3:01. Thank God that's over with. (-*)


- Tito Santana & The Junkyard Dog vs. Terry & Hoss Funk (w/ Jimmy Hart):
The feud going into this was between the JYD and Terry Funk, and I don't remember much about Tito Santana being involved with anything about them. It's been said a million times, but again, Hoss Funk is Dory Funk Jr., and still way past his prime. to my surprise, 3 men about a decade pas their primes manage to work one of the best matches on the card. The faces beat the crap out of the heels for the most part, until outrageous cheating from the Funk Family puts them in control, beating the tar out of Santana. Not exactly a wrestling masterpiece like you would see from the Bulldogs earlier in the card, but the crowd is way into this and Santana knows how to make decent workers look good through his selling. JYD manages to get the hot tag, and all hell breaks loose. It's a pier-six brawl including some table spots about 8 years before ECW did anything, until Terry Funk heads back into the ring and clocks JYD with Jimmy Hart's Megaphone, to get the sneaky cover on him at 11:41. Santana's losing streak begins, although I like to be technical, and say tag losses don't count unless the person in question had been pinned. Surprisingly good match, as mentioned earlier, and Terry's last high profile match in the WWF until about a decade later. (***)


- WWF World Championship, Steel Cage Match:
Hulk Hogan © vs. King Kong Bundy (w/ Bobby Heenan):
Sometime since the last WrestleMania, Bobby Heenan has taken control as manager of Bundy, who was previously under Jimmy Hart's thumb. This match was set up by a post-match attack on the last Saturday Night's Main Event, where Bundy "broke" Hulk Hogan's ribs with multiple avalanches and splashes, with the help of the Magnficient Muraco. Hogan is all bandaged up for this match, and I wonder if it's the magic tape that heals broken bones or magic tape that prevents being killed by being bashed by a truck several times. This marks the start of the constant use of the steel cage with bars, probably because most of the time, they featured Hogan, and he couldn't climb them properly, or maybe just in general since the bars had better foot holes, and with guys like Bundy, needed a lot more support for his size. This isn't really a "good" match, but they work a decent story with Hogan's injuries. After a lot of see-saw action and escape attempts, Hogan does his hulking up bit, and after fighting off Bobby Heenan from outside of the cage, manages to escape to retain the Championship at 10:15. After the match, Hogan beats down Bobby Heenan, just for the hell of it. Hogan sure acted like a heel a lot for the top babyface. He constantly used illegal moves like eye rakes and beat up managers for no reason, and even beat up on Sherri once or twice. Decent Cage match, but Bundy was hardly a big contender for Hogan, and a cage match to end the show is hardly the greatest idea in the world. (*1/2)


Final Thoughts: The Bulldogs/Dream Team and Santana & JYD/Funk matches are both very good, but everything else, in short, either fucking sucks or was rather generic for the biggest show of the year. The New York portion of the show is damn near unwatchable, and the Chicago part is fast forward material until the Tag Title Match. The LA Show is the best of the bunch, but only because 1 match was very good and 2 others didn't completely suck. Easily the worst WrestleMania ever, and a Strong Recommendation to Avoid, except for completionists.

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WWF WrestleMania III: Bigger, Better, Badder...


- And the truck keeps on going, as we're up to WrestleMania III. Sadly, there's still more than a dozen, so I'm glad I've had most of the first ones reviewed before, so I can just rephrase a lot of crap. To try and one-up the previous WrestleMania, McMahon decided to try and sell-out the Pontiac Silverdome, and did so, with an announced attended of 93,173. Don't bother bringing up the other number, since it's just a bunch of smart fans trying to prove they have no life by disecting every single thing, to the point everyone is debating a fucking attendance number. OOOH! That'll teach McMahon! WE CAN ADD!


- Live from the Pontiac Silverdome in the great state of Michigan, originally broadcasted live on Pay-Per-View on March 29th, 1987. Vince McMahon welcomes everyone to the show before throwing it to Aretha Franklyn to sing America the Beautiful. Commentary is handled once again by Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura, a tradition that would go on through WrestleMania VI.


- The Can-Am Connection vs. The Magnificent Muraco & Bob Orton Jr. (w/ Mr. Fuji):
I'm getting sick of saying this, but for those unfamiliar with the Can-am's, they're Rick Martel and everyone's favorite never-was crybaby, Tom Zenk. Muraco and Orton started teaming up when they turned on Piper in the Fall of '86, but that partnership wasn't meant to last long. The Can-Am's control the majority of the match with plenty of quick double-team moves to keep the crowd going, and rarely work in restholds. The heels spend very little time with their heat-segment on Zenk, which is a plus in my books, since Muraco was never that good of a worker to begin with, and they are a pretty random tag team with very little chemistry. As usual with tag team matches, all hell breaks loose, and a hot finish leads to Martel pinning Muraco with a cross-body press with a little help from Zenk in a nealing position, at 5:37. Good match to open the show with that kept the crowd pumped. Not a classic or anything, but it was the right choice to go with. The Can-Am's would go on to split up in the Summer of '87, which lead to Martel joining forces with Tito Santana, and the heels ended up splitting, with Muraco becoming the surprise babyface. (**1/4)


- Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules (w/ Bobby Heenan):
It's that time again for everyone's favorite feud... who is stronger and does a better [finishing move name here]. In this case it's the Full Nelson, although I'm pretty sure Hercules' finisher was actually a version of the Torture Rack (called a back breaker, by the WWF announce team). Since the last WrestleMania, Hercules had changed managers TWICE. Blassie retired and gave his contract to the recently debuted Slick, who then sold him to Heenan for cash (he wouldn't accept a check). Hercules would then be "sold" to Dibiase, triggering a face run, then once again went under the managment of Slick when he formed Power & Glory with Paul Roma, and naturally, no one remembered.

There I go rambling with worthless information again. Your usual shit match between these two, since the only actual wrestling move performed is the Full Nelson, and everything else is punch-kick-shitty clothesline. Bad match, but not negative stars bad. Haynes manages to apply the Full Nelson towards the end of the match, but Hercules grabs the ropes, causing both men to spill out of the ring, and we get a Double Count-Out at 7:52. Afterwards, Haynes tries to take his frustrations out on Heenan, but Herc' makes the save and busts him open with his chain. Shitty blade job there, Billy Jack. In short, a bad match, but someone kicking Haynes' ass is worth a small boost. (1/2*)


- Hillbilly Jim, Little Beaver, The Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy, Lord Littlebrook, Little Tokyo:
Wow, how the mighty have fallen. At WrestleMania 2, Bundy headlined the show in a World Title match with Hulk Hogan. A year later, and he's stuck in a third from the bottom comedy match with midgets and a Hillbilly. And people wonder why he was barely a threat to Hogan the year previous. As mentioned, this is your typical midgets match, with some comedy spots from the little people, and a crappy "wrestling" sequence from the two normal sized wrestlers. The high spot of the match is Bundy beating up Little Beaver, who had been pestering Bundy throughout the match. This, of course, makes Jesse Ventura mark out, and Bob Uecker plays it on commentary is if Bundy had killed the Beaver (not Jerry Mathers). Disqualification win for the Hillbilly team at 4:22. Not at all a good match, but not entirely worthless, either. Midgets getting beat up is always an entertaining thing to see. (1/2*)


- The Junkyard Dog vs. King Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan & Fabulous Moolah):
I have no clue how this came to be, other than a Saturday Night's Main Event match a month or so earlier that had a cop-out finish. Stipulation of the match: The loser has to bow to the winner. I also have no clue why Moolah is with Race, other than the WWF to put together the two oldest people on the roster to create Geriatric Park. At this point in their careers, JYD was the equivilant of 1989 Andre the Giant in the terms of workrate, and Harley Race's style was too slow to get over in the WWF (and he was past his prime, too). Thankfully, the match is only booked to go a few minutes, as Race pins the JYD at 3:22. following a belly-to-belly suplex after a bunch of punching and headbutts that really influenced workers of today like... uh... no one. After the match, JYD does a girlish bow, then bashes Race with a folding chair for good measure. What a role model! (DUD)


- The Rougeau Brothers vs. The Dream Team (w/ Johnny V & Dino Bravo):
(Jacques & Raymond vs. Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake)
These two teams must've fought a hundred teams in 1987, and the hell if I can remember why. I know the Rougeau's were teaming with a soon-to-be-turned Beefcake to feud with the New Dream team, but that's after this. Speaking of soon-to-be-turned, heel miscommunication occured a few weeks back, which saw Adrian Adonis "accidentally" cut Beefcake's hair. Dino Bravo had recently returned the the WWF, and even more recently bleached his hair blonde. Standard match between these two teams, but pretty rushed thanks to the large card. Neither team pulls out any stand-out moves or sequences, and the finish comes out of nowhere as Dino Bravo sneaks in the ring to bop Jacques, allowing Valentine to make the cover at 4:07. After the match, Valentine and Bravo leave Beefcake in the ring for some unknown reason. I guess they were tired of his sucking up to Hulk Hogan all of the time. (*1/4)


- Hair vs. Hair Match:
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper vs. "Adorable" Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart):
This is being billed as Roddy Piper's "Retirment Match", and being wrestling fans, I'm sure we all know by now that Piper has retired and had his last match about 8 times in the WWF alone. Piper turned face in the Fall of 1986 when Adonis took over the timeslot for Piper's Pit with his "Flower Shop" segment, which lead to Piper's former lacky Bob Orton to turn on him, which lead to Piper destroying the Flower Shop set with a baseball bat, which lead to this. At this point of his career, Adonis was a fat mess, and it's hard to get into his matches, and Piper was never a good wrestler. However, the crowd is into this like it were the main event, and that's always a good thing. Both men whip each other with Piper's strap until they go into a more boring fighting sequence. Adonis cheats to control, but after applying the Good Night Irene sleeper, lets go of the hold after Piper's arm drops a second time... ZUH?! Out of nowhere comes Brutus Beefcake to revive Piper, who surprises Adonis with his Sleeper hold of his own, and that puts Adonis down and out at 6:08. Beefcake returns after the match and performs the haircut promised to the loser of the match. Yep, this is what triggered Beefcake adopting the Barber Gimmick. Another post-match note is some crazy/drunk fan hopping the rail to congratulate Piper, and being quickly taken away by security. Like most Piper matches, this wasn't good from a technical stand point, but the angle around the match and Piper's off-the-wall intensity brings the rating up. This also marked the last notable Adonis appearence in the WWF, as he left the company about a month later. (*1/2)


- The British Bulldogs & Tito Santana vs. The Hart Foundation & Danny Davis (w/ Jimmy Hart):
Rather famous storyline here that I partially covered in the WrestleMania 2 review. As mentioned before, the Foundation took advantage of a seriously injured Dynamite Kid on the 2/7/87 Superstars, and with the help of Danny Davis looking away at the constant double teaming and Davey Boy pin attempts, managed to steal the titles away from them. Santana was inserted into this because of the coincidence that Danny Davis was the referee for the match where Santana lost the IC Title to Savage in February '86. Over the course of the next few weeks following the Tag Title change, Davis continued to referee, favoring the heels, until Jack Tunney made his appearence felt, as he suspended Davis for life PLUS 10 years as a referee. OOOOH! You the man, Tunney! In response to this, Jimmy Hart took Davis under his wing and with the help of the Foundation, "trained" him to wrestle, and this is his first big match (or maybe first match, period).

To say the crowd is into this would be a gross understatement. Despite Dynamite Kid being a shell of his former 'self at this point, the match is still pretty good but 1987 standards, and Santana carries the weight of his team well with DK's obvious decline. As always in these matches, the non-wrestler never tags in unless the opponent is incapable of defending himself, so the heel tags in, punches him a few times, then tags out 5 seconds later. The formula repeats for a while until the heels get too cocky, and Santana gets the hot tag while Davis is the legal man in. Saying the babyfaces beat the ever loving shit out of Davis to insane face reactions would be another understatement. Every face gets their signature moves in, including DK killing Davis with a tombstone piledriver and Davey Boy follows with the running powerslam. Too bad the Hart Foundation run a foul, and a microphone shot to the back of Davey Boy's head allows an out of it Davis to put an arm over his chest, and win the match at 8:51. The Foundation/Bulldogs would continue their on-and-off feud until Strike Force came out of nowhere to win the straps in October. Very good match with tons of energy and one of the best storylines of the year wrapped into it. At this point, probably the best WrestleMania match, but it would be broken later in the show. (***1/2)


- Koko B. Ware vs. "The Natural" Butch Reed (w/ Slick):
It's probably just me, but why are the only two black wrestlers on the card IN THE SAME MATCH? I seem to remember Butch Reed cutting promos on Tito Santana leading up to this show, but I guess the roster was spread thin again, and Koko was left without a match. Now that I think about it, the only people not in matches were tag teams like the Killer Bees, Demolition, Kamala & Sika, and of course, Paul Orndorff, who wasn't a tag wrestler. More on him later, as we head to the match... which is pretty much, to steal a joke from someone else, Punch-a-Mania III. The crowd is pretty much dead for the first time in the show, but probably because of the energy put into the last encounter. This one just drags along for a few minutes until Reed uses the momentum of a cross body to hook Koko's tights and pick up the win at 3:39. After the match, Tito Santana runs in to beat up on Slick and rip off his ugly tuxedo. Worthless time filler. (DUD)


- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
"Macho Man" Randy Savage © (w/ Elizabeth) vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat (w/ George Steele):
Qucik set-up for this match: On an episode of Superstars a few months back, Randy Savage injured Steamboat by coming off the top rope to land an axehandle, and in the process, driving Steamboat's throat into the security railing. A bell shot to the throat would add insult to injury. Now Steamboat is out for revenge, and cuts a pretty good pissed off promo before the match. Steele is in Steamboat's corner, just for the fact he STILL was feuding with Savage, nearly 15 months after it began. I won't bore anyone with detailed commentary, but this was a great exhibition of chain wrestling and Steamboat always seemed to have better matches (than usual) when working the "I'm fucking pissed off at someone and now I'm kicking their ass" storyline. He did it with Muraco and Roberts in 1985-86, and delivered in those series of matches too. Although I still consider it a great match, I can't really give it the 5-star treatment anymore, because honestly, I don't feel it. In short, it hasn't aged too well, in my opinion. After a handful of near-falls (about 19, to be exact), we get a ref' bump, and usually that means the heel is going to cheat to win. In this case, George Steele runs a foul of the rules, knocking Savage off the top rope while attempting to use the ring bell on Steamboat. Savage tries to salvage the screwing, but Steamboat counters a slam attempt with a small package, and Steamboat ends Savage's 13 month reign as champion at 14:35. Easily the best WrestleMania match for years to come, and each time there was a better, it always seemed to include Randy Savage. Steamboat's reign as champ wouldn't last long though, as Vince got ticked off at Steamboat requesting time off during the time he was drawing money, and dropped the title out of nowhere to the Honkytonk Man. Steamboat would leave the company for a while in '87 after the loss, missing most of August through October, and coming out of nowhere to be on Randy Savage's Survivor Series Team. (****)


- Jake "The Snake" Roberts (w/ Alice Cooper) vs. The Honkytonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart):
As usual with the WWE, history has been retold that both men were tweeners going into the match. I guess we sould ignore the Vote of Confidence poll for Honky in NOVEMBER of 1986, and Roberts had turned in February, doing matches with King Kong Bundy before going into this feud, which was triggered by Honky busting Roberts over the head with a guitar, and causing a pretty bad injury to Roberts since the guitar wasn't gimmicked. Much like Ware/Reed, the crowd isn't exactly into this, but isn't completely dead. Very average match, since Roberts usually made a big game in promos rather than in matches, and Honky always sucked, outside of a random miracle carry job here and there. The finish kind of comes out of nowhere, as Honky prevents being hit with the DDT, and uses the ropes to roll Roberts up for the victory at 7:04. After the match, Roberts and Cooper scare Honky off and release Damian to torment Jimmy Hart, who probably wished he wore black pants for this match. Overall a bit too long in the tooth for what they were going with, and they had an impossible act to follow. ( * )


- The Killer Bees (w/ Jim Duggan) vs. Nikolai Volkoff & The Iron Sheik (w/ Slick):
More time filler, since I don't recall a program between the Bees and the Evil Foreigners. Jim Duggan is only in the Bees corner because he was pissed off that Volkoff kept singing the Russian national anthem in the United States, and did everything he could from preventing it, including cutting the cable to the microphone, or the tired and true formula of beating him up. On to the match, and again, it's surprisingly decent, since the Bees were never known for being great at carrying other teams, and Volkoff & Sheik suck. After a few minutes of the heels controling, all hell breaks loose... again! The Sheik manages to trap Brunzell in the Camel Clutch, but Jim Duggan chases Volkoff in the ring, and suddenly smashes the Sheik across the back with his 2x4, triggering a Disqualification against the Killer Bees at 5:42. Wow, the former Tag Team Champions and a former World Champion couldn't even beat the Killer Bees without a lame finish? (**)


- WWF World Championship Match:
Hulk Hogan © vs. Andre The Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan):
After over three hours of action, it's time for the Main Event! Hogan had been dominating the WWF scene for over three years at this point, holding the World Title since January of '84, and going all that time without being pinned or submitting. Andre had also been booked strong, going "undefeated" for 15 years, but never getting a shot at the World Title. Enter Bobby Heenan, who brainwashed Andre into thinking Hogan was holding him down, and thus turning Andre a heel in the process, despite being one of the most over and loved wrestlers on the roster up until that point. I don't think the WWF mentioned it, but Andre owns several pinfall wins over Hogan from 1980, including the Showdown at Shea card held that year. Interesting tidbit that may or may not be true: Andre was in horrible condition at this point in his career, and rumors are if he wasn't able to "go" the day of the show, Paul Orndorff was waiting in the wings as a suitable replacement, which explains his absence from the card, and the fact he was active the week before and after the PPV.

TIME FOR MORE CELEBRITIES! Special timekeeper for the match is Mary Hart (no relation to the other Hart's), and doing the introductions is everyone's favorite star from the Major League Series, Mr. Baseball himself, Bob Uecker. After all the introductions are done, we get the famous staredown between the two, and moments later, Hogan fails a slam attempt, causing Andre to land on top of him for a 2.9999 count. The rest of the match is nothing to write home about, and is possibly the worst match on the workrate scale in the history of WrestleMania main events, but the fact it was at the time the biggest and most important match in wrestling history saves it from the junk pile. After a lot of nothing and very slow periods of "wrestling", Hogan does an untraditional hulk up, and in yet another famous moment, manages to slam Andre the Giant, and in the process tear pretty much every muscle in his back. One leg drop later, and Hogan slays the undefeated giant to retain the championship at 12:07. Hogan celebrates with his new World Championship belt as the show comes to an end. (1/2*)


Final Thoughts: Although I disagree with the "best WrestleMania ever" audience, the three main programs heading into the show (Andre/Hogan, Savage/Steamboat, and Piper/Adonis) all delivered in some way, wether it be for emotional purposes or workrate. Also on the card is a very good 6-Man tag and almost every tag match on the show is an enjoyable waste of 5-6 minutes each. The only downside is the Midgets, Race/JYD, and Koko/Reed, but all three of those combined for less than 15 minutes. Strong Recommendation.

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WWF WrestleMania IV

- WrestleMania IV, to me, seems like punishment to sit through. It's not the fact it was nearly 4 hours long, or it was a one night Tournament, but the fact the booking was crap and the crowd was one of the worst ever for a WrestleMania other than their WONDERFUL trips to Anahiem, CA for WrestleMania XII and XVI... incase anyone couldn't tell, that was sarcasm. I guess I'm doing the review backwards now, since I pretty much did my Final Thoughts at the beginning of the review. No, I'm not going to do a backwards review, but I will admit I was thinking about it.


- Originally broadcasted from the Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, NJ, on March 27th, 1988, and to repeat something already said, it's one of the worst looking settings for a WrestleMania I've ever seen. Commentary is one again handled by Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura, and that's always a good thing. Bob Uecker joins the crew for the opening match, being one of the very few celebrities to make two appearences at WrestleMania.


- 20-Man Battle Royale:
(Particpants: Bret "Hitman" Hart, Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, Paul Roma, JIm Powers, Sika, "Dangerous" Danny Davis, B. Brian Blair, "Jumpin" Jim Brunzell, Bad News Brown, Sam Houston, Jacques Rougeau, Raymond Rougeau, Ken Patera, "Outlaw" Ron Bass, The Junkyard Dog, Nikolai Volkoff, Boris Zhukov, Hillbilly Jim, King Harley Race, George "The Animal" Steele)
Again, until the ring is cleared out considerably, I'm not going to bother trying to do play-by-play, and will just note the eliminations and times. For everyone who was considered a "midcarder" or less, they were thrown into this match. I spot five tag teams in this, which was back when the WWF had too many teams... I laugh at that comment now, when there are only three REAL teams on two seperate shows with a combined roster of 70 active wrestlers. First off, George Steele never actually enters the match, despite hanging around ringside for most of it. Sam Houston gets treated like the jobber he is, being eliminated by Danny Davis of all people at 0:43. Sika follows soon after thanks to a bunch of people at 0:56. One notable exchange is Steele continously pulling at the ankle of Jim Neidhart. Steele eventually pulls Neidhart out by his goatee at 2:29. Blair is out at the hands of Jacques Rougeau at 2:48. Brunzell and Raymond Rougeau go out at the same time at 3:13. The Junkyard Dog dumps Ron Bass out at 3:40. Hillbilly Jim is eliminated easily by Boris Zhukov of all people at 4:26. Danny Davis is dumped out at 4:48 by Paul Roma, and Jim Powers is back dropped out by Brown at 4:53. Patera easily dumps out Volkoff at 5:41, and follows up dumping Zhukov at 5:50, but Brown dumps him out as well. Jacques Rougeau is eliminated by Race at 6:00, and then Race is ousted backwards by the Junkyard Dog at 6:11. Just as I finish typing that, Paul Roma is back dropped out by Brown at 6:23. Brown accidentally nails Bret with a clothesline, and the JYD connects the rolling headbuttsa on both men. JYD with a headbutt to Hart, but he soon gets doubled teamed at the form Stampede workers. JYD fights off both men for a little bit before Brown attacks from behind. Bret to the second rope and he comes off with a forearm to the face. The Dog blocks being eliminated momentarily, but he's soon ousted by both men at 8:40. Bret and Brown celebrate in the ring, until Brown blasts Bret with the Gheto Blaster! DOUBLE CROSSES ARE A MYSTERY! Brown hammers away at the fallen at, and whips him 100 mph into the opposite corner of the ring. Brown calls for the win, and casually eliminates Bret at 9:45 for the victory. Bret Hart, however, isn't too happy, and dropkicks Brown from behind, and then goes on to destroy Browns trophy, like it was really a mystery that the trophy was going to be destroyed. I can't think of one time it DIDN'T happen. This would of course lead to Bret Hart (and eventually Jim Neidhart) turning face. No rating, although for a Battle Royale, this one wasn't too good, and was even more punchy/kicky than normal. (N/R)


- WWF World Championship Tournament; Opening Round Matches:
This tournament was set up with the famous angle from the first Main Event special, which saw Andre the Giant "pin" Hulk Hogan for the title, then forfeit the title over into Ted Dibiase's possession. Jack Tunney ruled a wrestler cannot give a title to another wrestler, so he declared the title vacant, and all the top contenders would be put into this tournament. NOTE: Andre The Giant and Hulk Hogan recieved byes into the Quarter-Finals for various excuses. They will face off in the first WrestleMania ReMatch in the beginning of the next round.

"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. "Million $ Man" Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil & Andre The Giant) - Not too long ago in a state a thousand miles away, this probably would've headlined a promotion for several years. Jim Duggan was coming off a feud with King Harley Race, and Ted Dibiase was still just out spending money to humiliate people and try and win the title. Not a very good match, but both men try their best to work in front of a nearly dead crowd and with such strict time. Duggan sets up for his clothesline towards the end, but does it near the opponents corner, so Andre hooks the leg from under him, and Dibiase comes from behind with a running high knee for the three count at 5:04. This would lead to a Duggan/Andre feud throughout the spring and summer, but never really blew off on television. (*1/4)

"The Rock" Don Muraco (w/ Billy Graham) vs. Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin) - I think this kind of shoots down the top contenders comment. Muraco was spending the first half of 1988 feuding with Butch Reed and the One Man Gang, and wasn't exactly winning every match, while Dino Bravo was working tag team matches until Johnny V left the company and Bravo took up Frenchy Martin as his new manager. Bad match with a shitty finish. Bravo pulls the referee in front of a Muraco forearm, then connects with his Side suplex, but the referee calls for the DQ at 4:54, giving the match to the Rock (not Miavia). (DUD)

Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) - This match ended up being Steamboat's first swan song in the WWF, as he would leave the company not too longn after, and only returned for about 7 months in 1991 before leaving for good. To no ones surprise (except people too lazy to see something of Valentine pre-1991), this is a very good match, and is actually given enough time to make people give a damn. Too bad the crowd really fucking sucks. The story going into the end is the referee keeps ticking off Steamboat. The finish comes with Steamboat coming off the top with his cross body, but Valentine reverses and hooks the tights for the three count at 9:10. Steamboat gives a farewell salute to the crowd and wound up going to the NWA later that year. (***)

"Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth) vs. "The Natural" Butch Reed (w/ Slick) - Yes, they actually had it booked that the Tournament could have a Steamboat/Savage ReMatch in the Quarter-Finals, but that was flushed to hell with the last result. Reed surprisingly dominates most of the match, but he spends too much time yelling at Elizabeth while climbing up the ropes. Savage manages to slam Reed off, and the elbow drop finishes Reed at 4:08. This was probably Butch Reed's final high profile appearence in the WWF before heading back to the NWA. (3/4*)

Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Oliver Humperdink) vs. the One Man Gang (w/ Slick) - At this point in his run with the company, Bigelow's knees were pretty fucked up from what I hear. Or maybe Hulk Hogan snuck up on him and bashed him in both legs with a lead pipe because in the 7 months he was in the company, Bigelow was so over he was threatening his spot. Anyway, this match sucks too, and the finish is beyond retarded: Bigelow is counted out at 2:59, despite being on the apron, and despite the Gang was hitting him on the apron. Common knowledge is that contact being made on the apron breaks the count... and yet they managed to have an even DUMBER finish at the next MSG Event. Bigelow would hang around for a few more months before leaving the company. (-*)

Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs. "Ravishing" Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan) - Rude was still rather NOT over at this point, despite his cheap heel tactics of running down the local crowd. This was also before the Cheryl Roberts feud, which began about 4 weeks after this PPV. Both men spend an incredible amount of time stalling and resting, so we all know what the finish is going to be. The crowd is even more dead than usual for this one. The match continues limping along at the pace of a crippled snail until the bell sounds at 15:13, resulting in a "15-Minute" Time Limit Draw. Thankfully, they managed to have better matches down the road, but still nothing to write home about. (DUD)



- Hulk Hogan Interview with Mean Gene Okerlund. I'm only mentioning this because, in my opinion, this has to be the MOST HILARIOUS and head scratching promo I have ever heard in my entire life. Now, Hogan rambles a lot, so not everything is 100% accurate, but it's still funny as hell.

" ... When I slam Andre through the Trump Plaza brother, from New York to Tampa, Florida, the line is going to break off, and as Andre the Giant falls into the ocean, as my next two opponents fall into the ocean when I pin, so will Donald Trump and all the hulkamaniacs. But as Donald Trump holds onto the top of Trump Plaza with his family under his other arm, as they sink into the bottom of the sea, thank God Donald Trump for Hulkamania, he'll know enough to let go of his material positions, hang onto the wife and kids, dog paddle with his life all the way to safety But Donald, if somethig happens, if you run out of gas, and the little hulkamaniacs run out of gas, just hang on to the largest back in the world, and I'll dog paddle us, back stroke us all the way to safety! (dog paddles off camera)"


- The Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules (w/ Bobby Heenan):
Filler match, since neither man was looked upon as a contender yet, or maybe they didn't want to job the Warrior out yet in a worthless tournament match. It's hard to keep track with the WWF booking from years past, since Warrior was barely over enough for a midcard push. This was "set up" from an episode of Wrestling Challenge where Hercules and Warrior had as tug-o-war with Hercules' chain, and breaking it in the process. As you would expect, this match also sucks and the crowd is once again dead. In a finish that was used way too much in Hercules matches, a pin attempt results in Warrior lifting his shoulder up while Hercules' are still down, giving Warrior the win at 4:36. Hercules tries a post-match attack, but the Warrior won't sell it (or maybe he can't, I can't tell the difference). This match was actually pretty good compared to the anti-classic they put on at the next MSG Show. (DUD)


- WWF World Championship Tournament; Quarter-Final Round Matches:
NOTE: Due to the Time Limit Draw between Jake Roberts and Rick Rude, the One Man Gang recieves a bye into the Semi-Finals, and will face the winner of the Randy Savage/Greg Valentine match.

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant (w/ Ted Dibiase & Virgil) - The ReMatch to last years WrestleMania Main Event. Andre has gotten so much worse since the year before that you can't blame people for trying to forget he was still wrestling at this point of his career. Although the WM III match was not very good, this one is even worse, and with a lame finish. Dibiase brings in a chair, so Hogan and Andre both use it. You would think the first person to use it, Hulk Hogan, would be Disqualified, but instead, both men are at 5:27. Then Hogan gets to beat up Virgil in the aisle and slam Andre after the match and poses for 6 minutes despite not winning. (-*)

"The Rock" Don Muraco (w/ Billy Graham) vs. "Million $ Man" Ted Dibiase - Because of the beating down of Virgil in the last match and Andre sucking wind in the locker room, Dibiase has to come out by himself. Muraco shows signs of a heel, attacking Dibiase before the match, a very un-babyface like manuever. Much like Dibiase/Duggan from the first round, this is an OK match, but with lack of time and a dead crowd (again), it's hard to get anything going. Muraco controls for the most part, but a stun gun out of nowhere allows Dibiase to pick up the win at 5:35, and gets a free pass in the Tournament finals. (*1/2)

"Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth) vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) - After Valentine had a good match with Steamboat, you'd probably expect this match to be just as good... too bad the crowd is REALLY dead now, and this match is once again given very little time to work anything. Another match limps around with very little direction until Savage counters a Figure-Four with a small package, and that's enough for the win at 6:06. Please end this show, God. PLEASE! (*1/4)


- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
The Honkytonk Man © (w/ Jimmy Hart & Peggy Sue) vs. Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake:
Like the energizer bunny, this show keeps going and going and going... unlike the energizer bunny, this show is far from entertaining. Not much of a backstory here, other than the fact everyone else worth a damn is already occupied in the Championship Tournament. Even if this match was given some time to develope something, it probably wouldn't have been too good. Punchy-Kicky match for the most part until there's a ref' bump when Beefcake has the sleeper hold applied. The referee plays dead for a good 2-3 minutes until another comes out and officially declares the match a Disqualification in favor of Brutus Beefcake at around the 7:00 mark (no bell sounded, so huzzah). Beefcake, Sportsman of the Year, gives Jimmy Hart a minor haircut. I think Jimmy started wearing a berret/faggy french hat around for the next few weeks on television to hide the haircut. (1/2*)


- The British Bulldogs & Koko B. Ware vs. The Islanders & Bobby Heeenan:
This is the culmination of the Matilda Dognapping Angle, which electrified crowds and sold out arenas for months. I'm really tired of this show, and doing a review of this show is always the biggest chore since having to wash my underpants. The crowd is still dead, for those who care, and the Bulldogs were really not too good at this point of their run in the WWF. The only really notable point of the match is Heenan's dog protective suit. Stuff happens, no one cares, yada yada yada, and Heenan pins Koko after the Islanders slam him on top at around the 8:00 mark. I don't get the fucking point of that finish. Weird... this is the second straight year that the Bulldogs' 6-Man Tag lost by pinfall to a Non-Wrestler. (1/2*)


- WWF World Championship Tournament; Semi-Final Round Matches:
NOTE: Due to Hulk Hogan and Andre The Giant wrestling to a Double Disqualification in the Quarter-Finals of the Tournament, Ted Dibiase recieves a bye into the tournament Finals and will face the winner of the upcoming match between Randy Savage and the One Man Gang. Oh yes, they actually brought Dibiase out to announce THAT. WASTE OF TIME!

"Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth) vs. the One Man Gang (w/ Slick) - I don't care anymore. This crowd is pure shit and it's impossible to get into any of these matches! Terrible match again and with a lame finish on top of that. While the referee is distracted with Elizabeth, the Gang grabs Slicks cane and attempts to hit Savage with it. He misses about 4 or 5 times before being disqualified at around 4:11, and finally connects when the match is over. Afterwards, Savage comes off the top with a double axehandle to the Gang, who in turn lands on top of Slick. (DUD)


- WWF Tag Team Championship Match:
Strike Force © vs. Demolition (w/ Mr. Fuji):
(Tito Santana & Rick Martel vs. Demolition Ax & Smash)
Another match in a series of them with very little build up, since the entire focus of the PPV is promoted on the back of the championship tournament. Despite being the heels going into the match, Demolition had been getting pretty strong babyface reactions, while Strike Force was getting lukewarm ones for the top babyface team in the company. Good match for what the two teams are able to do with the rushed booking, but the crowd, as usual, just doesn't give a damn, since it's mainly a bunch of gambling junky bums who have nothing better to do than sit on their hand and gamble away their life savings. All hell breaks loose again, and while Santana is busy beating up on poor, defenseless Mr. Fuji, Ax smashes the cane across the back of Martel's head, and Smash covers for their first of three Tag Team Titles at 8:02. Good match, but they went on to have better on various arena shows and Prime Time Wrestling. (**1/4)


- WWF World Championship Tournament Finals:
"Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth) vs. "Million $ Man" Ted Dibiase (w/ Andre The Giant):
Funny how they gave this match away on free television on the last episode of Saturday Night's Main Event. That match was also about twice as good as this one, since this crowd FUCKING SUCKS. Both men go through a semi-decent wrestling match, but this crowd is long gone. After some constant cheating by Andre at ringside, Elizabeth heads back to the locker room and produces Hulk Hogan to even up the odds. Savage's last spark of energy ends up being useless, as he misses his signature elbow. Dibiase gets the Million $ Dream applied, but Hogan manages to sneak in the ring and give Dibiase a case of Karma retribution, bashing him good with a chair, and Savage finishes him off with his second attempt at an elbow drop at 9:17. Savage, Hogan and Elizabeth celebrate after the match as the PPV FINALLY comes to an end. It could've come a lot quicker, says I. (**1/2)


Final Thoughts: This show was a boring mess with one of the worst crowds ever since the opening match. I still don't know how this show is regarded so highly by some people. Only ONE match broke the 3-star barrier (1 out of 16), several matches were negative star bad, and everything was so fucking rushed to the point I wouldn't be surprised if everyone involved on the card half-assed it harder than they've half-assed before. Solid Recommendation to Avoid.

http://z7.invisionfree.com/Da_Wrestling_Bo...?showtopic=2196


WWF WrestleMania V: The Mega Powers Explode!


- For the second year in a row (the only time in history to happen), Wrestlemania V returns to the Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Last year, the beginning of the Mega Powers angle began, and this year it concludes. At the February '89 Main Event Special, Randy Savage finally turned heel on Hulk Hogan during a match of theirs against the Twin Towers, to set up the Main Event of the card.


- As usual, the broadcast team for WrestleMania is Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura. Before the matches begin, WWF Womens Champion Rockin' Robin (some relation to Jake Roberts) comes out to sing the National Anthem... and its safe to say it's God-fucking-awful. Remember that one chick who fucked up during a Hockey game a few years ago? This is 100 times worse. Thank God WWF clipped out her fucking up the original song, which was probably even funnier. Ventura expresses my thoughts that she really sucked singing.


- Hercules vs. King Haku (w/ Bobby Heenan):
Back in October of '88, Bobby Heenan sold Hercules to Ted Dibiase, but Hercules would have none of that, and turned face in the process. This really wasn't built up on T.V., but it at least has a backstory that makes sense. To the surprise of pretty much everyone in the fucking world, this actually is a good match. For Hercules and Haku, that is. On a normal scale it's nothing more than average. Hercules keeps the match pretty energetic, and of course, Haku slows it all down with his shitty resting. At least he kept it to a minimum compared to other matches. If you read my WM IV and more specifically Hercules/Warrior, this match has the exact same finish, except Hercules lifts his shoulder up while Haku's remain down, and Hercules gets the victory at 6:37. So far so good with WrestleMania V. By the way, the Coliseum Video version clipped this match down to practically nothing, for those 2 of you that care. (**)


- The Rockers vs. The Twin Towers (w/ Slick):
(Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty vs. Big Bossman & Akeem)
No real backstory to this match, other than getting them all on the card. This is also the WM Debut of the Rockers and Big Bossman, and since WrestleMania IV, the One Man Gang had transformed into Akeem because he wanted a lengthy period of time off while he was headlining shows with Hogan. The pre-match Interview is worth noting, because Michaels and Jannetty look REALLY out of it. To my surprise, it seems like when both are high on something, they manage to work even better matches, so let them toke up for all I care. Your basic "David vs. Goliath" booking, but it's a pretty good match. The Rockers sell everything like death and the Towers show enough vulnerability to the Rockers that you think they have a chance... until Bossman plants Michaels with a spinebuster and Akeem splatters him with the Air Africa Splash at 8:04, giving the Towers the win. It's always fun watching Michaels get the bejesus kicked out of him, no matter who he's wrestling against. WM V has already surpassed WM IV in terms of workrate quality. (***)


- Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake vs. "Million $ Man" Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil):
Another match with very little in terms of backstory. Dibiase had recently debuted the Million $ Championship belt on the Brother Love Show, and Beefcake was in limbo since his feud with Ron Bass ended, so smart booking probably means Dibiase is going over here. For this time frame, a very long and dull match. Beefcake's offense is basically all punchy-kicky, and Dibiase doesn't look to be in the mood to be carrying anyone tonight. The action finally spills outside, and wouldn't you know it, we get the first shitty finish of the night as the battle to a Double Count-Out at 9:58. After the match, Beefcake beats up poor, defenseless Virgil while Dibiase runs away. These two would meet up again on opposite tag teams at WrestleMania IX, and again they went to a lame, inconclusive finish! (*1/4)


- The Bushwackers vs. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart):
(Butch & Luke vs. Jacques & Raymond Rougeau)
BLECH! I've seen enough Bushwacker/Rougeau matches in my lifetime to know this match sucks and I shouldn't even bother watching it without the trusty fast-forward button within my grasp. We get a pre-taped interview of the Bushwackers making pigs out of themselves at the special breakfast thing the WWF held the morning of the show. Poor Lord Alfred... wait, I hate him! Good for him being stuck trying to interview these idiots! Onto the match... it sucks. That's all you need to know. The Bushwackers finish off Raymond with the battering ram and double stomach buster, giving the match to the team from down under at 5:11. Now let us never speak of this match again, except in support groups for people who had to watch this shit. (DUD)


- The Blue Blazer vs. Mr. Perfect:
Once again, bo backstory to this, other than to get as many people as possible onto the card. The Blazer is, of course, Owen Hart, and Mr. Perfect has no entrance music, manager, or heat. The wonderful Trump Plaza crowd strikes again! Still on Perfect... he debuted his signature singlet tights at this show. Since both men are strapped for time, they just decide to give it the old college try... lightning quick wrestling I can't keep up with, and Curt Hennig selling his ass off like he's never sold before! Not much in terms of psychology going on, and the finish comes out of nowhere, as Perfect surprises the Blazer with the Perfect-Plex while the Blazer was arguing with the referee about a possible slow count. That ends the Blazer's night and PPV run at 5:46. This marked Owen's last PPV appearence in the WWF until the 1992 Royal Rumble. Another good match, but I'm sure some fanboys will try and say this was 4-stars, simply because both men are dead. Yes, I said it. People tend to overrate everything if one of the wrestlers is dead. (**3/4)


- WWF Tag Team Championship Match:
Demolition © vs. The Powers of Pain & Mr. Fuji:
(Ax & Smash vs. The Warlord & Barbarian w/ Mr. Fuji)
Finally, a match with some backstory! Set the WAYBAC machine to November 24th, 1988, for the Survivor Series. Mr. Fuji "accidentally" cost his team the match, which lead to Demolition beating him down. Afterwards, the Powers of Pain took him on as their manager, and thus cementing one of the first double turns in PPV history. Mr. Fuji is involved in this match mainly so the PoP don't have to job by pinfall, and in storyline terms, so that Demolition can keep an eye on Fuji without worries of him trying to interfere. After all that hyping, you would probably expect this match to be good. It isn't. Not even close to it, in fact. It's pretty much all punch-punch-punch-chinlock-punch-punch-punch until the finish, were Fuji tags in and quickly gets destroyed with the Demolition Decapitation, allowing Demolition to retain the championship at 8:52. Way too fucking long and boring for what they were going for. In a weird coincidence, the Powers of Pain were rarely featured on T.V. following this, and eventually split up before WrestleMania VI the next year. Oh yeah, and heel Demolition were so much more awesome than babyface Demolition. They seemed to lack intensity, and as babyfaces, suck at selling. (DUD)


- "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin vs. Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin):
I don't think this match is going to be able to lift the spirits of everyone after the precious disaster of a match. Filler filler everywhere, but not a match that doesn't stink. In one of the most unusual and hilarious moments ever, after both men are introduced, the Fink suddenly brings out the returning Superfly Jimmy Snuka, who walks around the ring... then leaves. THE FUCK?! Your basic punch-kick match, but Garvin seems a little too motivated for a guy booked to job in a 4 minute match. Bravo makes the Canadian-Superman comeback, and finishes the Rugged one off with his signature side suplex at 3:58. After the match, Garvin takes his frustrations out on poor Frenchy Martin, and finishes the poor bastard off with THE GARVIN STOMP! That has to be one of the lamest set up moves for a finisher in the history of wrestling. This also seems to be one of the last major appearences of Frenchy Martin, as Bravo would take up Jimmy Hart as his manager not too long after this. (DUD)


- Strike Force vs. The Brain Busters (w/ Bobby Heenan):
(Tito Santana & Rick Martel vs. Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard)
More filler, but at least everyone in this match is a good wrestler. This is Strike Force's first match together since Demolition "injured" Rick Martel on an episode of PrimeTime Wrestling back in July of 1988 with a Decapitation on the outside of the ring. Rick Martel returned in time for the Royal Rumble, but had been wrestling exclusively in singles matches. Very good match, with a hint of the old NWA style formula added by Anderson and Blanchard. Midway through the match, Face Miscommunication occurs, as Santana hits Martel with the Fyling Jalupeño after a blind tag. Martel spends the rest of the match standing around on the apron until finally walking off, leaving Santana to the wolves. From there, it's basically a Brain Busters Butt-kicking on Santana until they send him back to Tacoland following a Spike Piledriver at 9:13. After the match, Martel cuts a very not good promo, which is ruined by his not-so-vicious french-canadian accent. This would set up the never-ending feud between Santana and Martel. I'm surprised the WWF hasn't brought both men back for one night only to wrestle again. (***1/4)


- Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs. Andre The Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan):
Special referee for this match is Big John Studd, who had a "blink and you'll miss him" return in 1989. This was the blowoff to the "Andre is afraid of Snakes" angle which began at the October '88 episode of Saturday Night's Main Event. Much like my comment about Andre in the WrestleMania IV review, he just kept getting worse in the ring due to his health, and by this point, he was unable to even work a match without leaning onto the ropes the entire time. If you need detailed PBP for this, here you go: Jake fails at a lot of DDT attempts and Andre chokes him a lot. This goes on for about a hundred or so years until Andre gets caught in the ropes, to the surprise of no one. Roberts decides NOW IS THE TIME to unleash Damian on the poor guy, but Ted Dibiase runs in before that could happen, and steals Damian! Meanwhile in the ring, Andre is beating up on Studd for no reason, and chokes him down with his singlet. Meanwhile Part II, Roberts has the snake bag back, and scares off Andre with Damian. Studd awards the match to Roberts by Disqualification at 9:37. Easily the worst match in WrestleMania history at this point. Just THAT fucking bad. Roberts would take time off for the next 5 months, either because of an injury, lawsuit, or combination of both. You be the deciding factor! (-***)


- The Hart Foundation vs. The Honkytonk Man & Greg Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart):
It's the never-ending "Hart Foundation vs. Jimmy Hart" feud, which never really ended until Jimmy started managing just tag teams and Bret Hart became a singles wrestler. A few months back on SuperStars, The future-Rhythm & Blues beat up on the Foundation and busted a guitar over the head of Hart. KABONG! Nothing much of note other than that in terms of storylines. Painfully dull match, which can also be contributed to the dead crowd for the second straight year. The heels control for a while, doing very little... and that's all really. With Honky eating up most of the ring time, you don't expect this to be very good. After all hell breaks loose, Jim Neidhart intercepts the Megaphone of Jimmy Hart, and Bret Hart bashes the Honkytonk Man good with it to pick up the victory at 7:39. Damn, the Foundation couldn't even get a clean win over a guy who was jobbing out to everyone on the planet since losing the Intercontinental Championship to the Ultimate Warrior at SummerSlam. I'm sure this is another match clipped up by Coliseum Video. (3/4*)


- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
The Ultimate Warrior © vs. "Ravishing" Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan):
We're coming down to the final few matches, and once again, I'm bored out of my skull going through all of these matches. I'm kind of glad they cut the shows to under 3 hours in 1992, because 14+ matches is way too much to sit through without going "Boring." Lame build-up for this match, set up at the 1989 Royal Rumble. The Warrior was "winning" a posedown challenge, and naturally Rick Rude beat the tar out of him with some kind of thing-a-ma-bob that I can't put my finger on. Warrior no-sold that, of course, and here we are, waiting for the match to begin. Very long and dull match, as usual for these two. I still go by my statement that either everyone and their mother overrated the hell out of their match at SummerSlam '89, or that there was something in the Trump Plaza water that made this match suck. Warrior pretty much squashes Rude for the entire match until Rude manages to get in some cheating tactics. Warrior won't sell anything, of course. Warrior breaks out of a Rude Awakening attempt and they brawl outside of the ring. Warrior tries to suplex Rude back into the ring from the apron, but Bobby Heenan makes his move, sweeping the leg from under Warrior, and Rude lands on top for the three count at 9:41, and winning the Championship. This was, I believe, Warrior's first pinfall loss on WWF Television. After the match, Warrior beats up the Brain, then drops him wrong with a press slam. That Warrior... always being an unsafe worker who only cared about himself. ( * )


- "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Bad News Brown:
SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME NOW! Bad News was a decent worker, but definitely one of the most overrated by the Smark community. Outside of his matches with Bret Hart in '88 and Randy Savage, he had very little in terms of good matches, and generally just punched people as 90% of his offense. This was way before the imaginary "WWF Style" phrase came into the world. Short and painful match, with lots of crappy brawling until Duggan brings his 2x4 in the ring and Brown gets a steel chair. Yup, we get one of those lame Double Disqualifications at 3:46, where both men bring weapons into the ring and fail to hit each other with them. After the match, Duggan scares Brown off, probably because of the giant booger in his beard. Jesse Ventura helpfully points it out for those of us trying to keep our lunch down. (DUD)


- The Red Rooster vs. Bobby "The Brain" Heenan (w/ The Brooklyn Brawler):
Terry Taylor must try hard to block this part of his career out of his mind. For several months, Heenan was managing the Rooster, who he described as being an average wrestler who only he could guide to championship glory. After the Rooster's loss to Tito Santana at the January '89 Saturday Night's Main Event, Heenan chewed out the Rooster, and the Rooster in turn beat up Heenan to turn face. After that, Heenan took on the services of Steve Lombardi, newly dubbed the Brooklyn Brawler, to beat up the Rooster for him. Onto the match... The Rooster pins Heenan in 31 seconds after Heenan misses a charge to the corner. Afterwards, the Brawler kicks the Roosters ass for another 30 seconds before the Rooster sends him off. Waste of time! (DUD)


- WWF World Championship Match:
"Macho Man" Randy Savage © vs. Hulk Hogan:
Lots of backstory to this. The Mega Powers formed at the October 1987 Saturday Night's Main Event when Hogan saved Savage from a three-on-one beatdown from the Honkytonk Man and Hart Foundation. At WrestleMania IV, Savage won the Vacant World Championship by winning 4 matches in one night, but not without a little help from Hogan. Over the next several months, Savage became increasingly paranoid about Hogan's "friendship" with Elizabeth, which lead to the Main Event special back in February. After Savage took a bump to the outside, landing on Elizabeth, Hogan walked out on the match to take her backstage for medical attention. Following the match (which Hogan won against TWO MEN), Savage laid into Hogan with accusations of lusting over Elizabeth, then kicked Hogan's ass. And now you know the rest of the story.

With all of that out of the way, it's time to get to the main event! Ventura quickly has a fit, complaining about Savage entering first, and constantly calls Hogan "Lust Hogan." Your usual good match between these two, as Hogan does his best to keep uo with Savage, and Savage brings everything else to the table, no doubt laid out in detailed form before the match to the exact second. Elizabeth, who had become a factor into the match, causes a few interferences until referee Dave-Earl Hebner throws her out. In the meantime, Hogan seems to have done a shitty blade job. To the finish... Savage continues kicking Hogan's ass, but his signature elbow drop from the top rope only gets a two count. HULK UP TIME! Punch-punch-punch-big boot-leg drop and Hogan wins only his 2nd of an eventual 6 WWF World Championships at 17:53. Savage once again puts on one of the best matches in WrestleMania history, but they've had some better matches during Savage's early run in late '85/early '86. Hogan poses for about 5 minutes, while Ventura throws insults at him the entire time. I guess Ventura really hated Hogan, since even Heenan wasn't this vicious on PBP. (***1/2)


Final Thoughts: Yet another disappointing WrestleMania. While a few tag matches and the main event were pretty good, all the filler in between drags down the enjoyment one would get from those matches. Unless you fast forward through about 9 of these matches, this is another WM that can go in the scrap yard. Mild Recommendation to Avoid for those that don't care about having every WrestleMania on tape.

http://z7.invisionfree.com/Da_Wrestling_Bo...?showtopic=2199


WWF WrestleMania VI: The Ultimate Challenge


- Before getting to the review, I should point out that my copy of WrestleMania VI is the bastardized Coliseum Video version, which cuts a 3 1/2 hour show down to about 2 hours 35 minutes. In other words, every match is clipped to hell and we're missing some interviews and ring introductions. Got to love those wonderful people at Coliseum Video! They even clipped out Robert Goulet singing Oh Canada! THOSE CHEAP BASTARDS!


- Live from the Skydome in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, held on April 1st, 1990. Commentary is once again handled by Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura. This would mark the last appearence on PPV for Jesse Ventura in the WWF until SummerSlam '99 when he was guest referee for the World Title match. Just a quick Note for most of these matches I didn't do times for, since my VCR is occupied with something else, and the only times I can find are the full ones.


- Koko B. Ware vs. "The Model" Rick Martel:
Filler match! This looks like something more suitable for a SuperStars of Wrestling feature match than the opening match on WrestleMania. The introductions of both men last longer than the actual match, in clipped form, which has about 3 noticable cuts in a span of 10 seconds. After a little bit of nothing, Martel casually wins the match by submission with the Boston Crab at 2:03. Barely anything here to review, but at least the crowd was super hot, and after "listening" to the crowds of the previous WrestleMania's, I'm going to give this a small boost. (1/4*)


- WWF Tag Team Championship Match:
The Colossal Connection © (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Demolition:
(Andre The Giant & Haku vs. Ax & Smash)
During the last week of December '89, the somewhat thrown together team of Andre and Haku upset Demolition for the titles on an episode of SuperStars of Wrestling, which was notable as Andre's only title reign that lasted longer than 3 minutes, and Ax spent the entire match getting his ass kicked. Pre-match promo from Demolition makes demolition innuendos to describe what they'll do to their opponents. The decline continues! Andre was fucking awful at WrestleMania V, and a year later, he doesn't even get in the ring for the match! Legally, that is. Match is clipped again, and Thank God. Haku spends most of the match beating up Ax with his basic, shitty offense. Smash eventually gets the hot tag, and it's all Demolition from there. Andre tries to break things up, but he gets caught in the ropes, and Demolition finish Haku off with the Decapitation elbow for their third and final Tag Team Titles at 5:24. After the match, Bobby Heenan gets in Andre's face about the loss (and appears to be screaming obsenities), until Andre "snaps" and beats the crap out of Heenan. Haku gets his ass kicked too, and Andre leaves the ring area to a standing ovation. Match sucked, but the post-match stuff was awesome. (1/2*)


- Hercules vs. Earthquake (w/ Jimmy Hart):
More filler! Earthquake was being pushed for a run against Hogan, and Hercules was pretty damn low on the midcard scale, so he gets to play the sacrificial lamb. If Hercules were a good worker, I'd care about his burial, but I don't, so I won't. Earthquake was originally being billed as the Canadian Earthquake during his first few months, but sometime between the Rumble and this show he dropped the Canadian part. Weird, says I. Another crappy match in a series of them so far, with all punch and kick from both men. Hercules stupidly tries for his Torture Rack move, but Earthquake is a big too heavy to be put into that, and he easily finishes Herc' off with the vertical splash/butt drop of doom at 4:10. After the match, Earthquake drops ass on Hercules some more for good measure. (DUD)


- Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect (w/ The Genius):
Let's take you back to the 1990 Royal Rumble! Beefcake was having a negative star classic with the Genius until Mr. Perfect ran in and beat his brains in with a steel chair. This managed to shoe-horn Beefcake into Hogan's place feuding with Perfect, so Hogan can feud with the Warrior. And before people cry about how Hennig should've gotten the title, here's the cold reality: House show attendance was shit with Hennig headlining against Hogan (who was still drawing), despite being booked stronger than pretty much everyone else and getting one up on Hogan on an episode of SNME, so stop whining and blowing the guy because he's dead. Hogan/Warrior was money, Hogan/Hennig and Warrior/Hennig wasn't. Another clip job here, but nothing major. Beefcake has a rule that he can only have 1 good match a year, and didn't feel like using it here. Both men go through a rather dull match before Beefcake gets the fluke pin at around the 6:00 mark after ramming Perfect into the ring post. This was Perfect's first pinfall loss on a national scale (he lost by pinfall to the Warrior at the 3/19/90 MSG Show, which was only televised locally). Perfect would be shunted back down to the midcard and was eventually given 2 reigns with the IC Belt before his first retirement. (*1/4)


- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown:
More stuff thanks to the Rumble PPV. Both men eliminated each other during the Rumble match, then kicked each others ass around the ring. Then they kicked each others ass again on an episode of Wrestling Challenge. Piper does his best job to offend people, painting half of his body black, and then doing some funky dancing that would make Ernest Miller blush in embarassment. Another clipped match, and again, no real complaining from me, since it sucks anyway. Nothing but punch-punch-punch until they brawl outside of the ring for the token Double Count-Out at about 5:00. They continue fighting after the match, but the feud was never really settled. Piper went into another retirement soon after, and Brown was put into a feud with Roberts until he was released sometime after SummerSlam '90. (DUD)


- The Hart Foundation vs. The Bolsheviks:
(Bret Hart & Jim Neidhart vs. Nikolai Volkoff & Boris Zhukov)
No backstory to this, just filler for the Foundation to make a token appearence to show they're going to be pushed into a feud over the Tag Titles. Funny pre-match segment featuring the Bolsheviks and Steve Allen, who keeps goofing on them by playing funny songs instead of the Russian national anthem. The entrances are clipped for this, and we get to hear them sing. The Foundation won't have that though, because Canada hates Russians, and the Foundation beat up on Zhukov before finishing him off with the Hart attack at 19 seconds, the REAL quickest match in WrestleMania history. How unfair... Zhukov didn't even get his jacket off! (DUD)


- Tito Santana vs. The Barbarian (w/ Bobby Heenan):
Mr. Fuji had recently sold the services of the Powers of Pain, with Bobby getting to manage the Barbarian, and Slick picking up the Warlord. The Barbarian hasn't changed into his furr-underpants look yet, so maybe the power of the face-paint will make him work hard. Not much of a match, but Jesse Ventura's non-stop insulting of Santana is always good for a laugh, even if it's not politically correct. Another match that would be better fit for the weekend show feature matches. Santana nails the Flying Jalupeño, but Heenan puts the Barbarian's foot on the bottom to keep him alive. The Barbarian then quickly kills Santana with a top rope clothesline, and picks up the victory at around 3:30. Bonus points for Santana selling that move like death and for Ventura's commentary. In a weird coincidence, Santana would job to the other half of the Powers of Pain at the next PPV (SummerSlam), with nearly the same finish, except replace clothesline with slam. (3/4*)


- Dusty Rhodes & Sapphire (w/ Elizabeth) vs. Randy Savage & Queen Sherri:
Since the last WrestleMania, King Haku lost his crown to Jim Duggan, who then in turn lost it to Randy Savage. Since Dusty Rhodes is a "common man", you can fill in the rest of the feud yourself. In what I thought was a weird booking decision, the WWF gave away a Rhodes/Savage match on the PrimeTime Wrestling Special the week before this match, and it was probably a better match too. Jesse Ventura continues to bring the awesome on commentary, hurling insults at Rhodes and Sapphire because of their announced weight of 450-ish pounds. Basically a comedy match with some bad wrestling in between. The Savage/Rhodes parts are watchable, but the focus is put almost entirely on Sapphire/Sherri, and that drags the match down to hell. Lots of sloppy work until the match crawls to a finish with Elizabeth interfering and Sapphire rolling Sherri up for the three count a little under 8:00 into the match. The feuds would continue until Ted Dibiase bought Sapphire and went into a feud with the Common man. (DUD)


- The Rockers vs. The Orient Express (w/ Mr. Fuji):
(Marty Jannetty & Shawn Michaels vs. Sato & Tanaka)
More time filler! As noted above, this is the Sato and Tanaka version of the Orient Express, so the match is going to suck. I always had the theory that someone just accidentally typed in the wrong letter of Sato's name to come up with his replacement (Kato), and going by the intelligence of the people Vince McMahon has employed, I wouldn't rule that out as an excuse. Once again, I wouldn't rule out the Rockers being on some kind of mind-altering substance, because this match is all over the place. There's no real formula going on, just one team controls for a minute, the other for the next, and repeat. The selling is rather bad too. All heck breaks loose for the millionth time at WrestleMania until Sato throws salt in the eyes of Jannetty, causing him to stumble around into the crowd and being counted-out at the 7:00 mark. I'm sure I could make a "that wasn't salt" joke, but that would be lame and childish... but I think I saw Shawn Michaels snorting up the left-overs after the match. (*1/2)


- "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo (w/ Jimmy Hart & Earthquake):
The crappy matches continue. Weird how this match made it to WrestleMania, especially since they had a feud that ended a few months before the last WrestleMania. Duggan isn't very over, especially since he's waving around an American Flag. IN CANADA. There's at least 1 Dino Bravo fan in the crowd, thanks to a camera picking up on a sign in the crowd. Another crappy punch-kick match that was probably used to set up a house show program between Duggan/Earthquake, but I don't know nor care anymore. Duggan cheats to win by bashing Bravo with his 2x4 and making the cover at around 4:30. After the match, Earthquake lays a second beatdown on the show, this time squashing Duggan under his giant ass. (DUD)


- Million $ Championship Match:
"Million $ Man" Ted Dibiase © (w/ Virgil) vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts:
Plenty of backstory to this match... nearly one year ago, Dibiase "put" Roberts out of action with the Million $ Dream (in reality, Roberts either needed surgery or was in the middle of a lawsuit). Roberts returned sometime after SummerSlam to get his revenge, working pretty good matches with Dibiase at arena shows. Roberts would then go on to steal Dibiase's Million $ Belt on an episode of Superstars, and to make sure he kept posession of it, kept the belt inside of the bag with Damian. Dibiase in turn tried hiring the services of Slick and the Big Bossman to get it for him, but Bossman ended up turning face because of finding out he was being paid off for doing dirty deeds. And now you know the rest of the story.

Before we get to the match, Roberts cuts a pretty damn good promo about Dibiase's treatment of fans (bringing up stuff more than 2 weeks old?!) and how he'll be the one who will get the revenge against Dibiase for everyone else. Coliseum Video pisses me off now, clipping this match in half. I guess I should be glad though, since they clipped out all the rest holds. Good match from what is shown, but the clippings hurt any of the possible psychology worked throughout the match. Roberts manages to make a Superman comeback, but Virgil pulls him out of the ring during a DDT attempt. Roberts and Dibiase brawl around the ring until both men get rammed into the ring post, but Virgil is there again, and rolls Dibiase back in to win by count-out at a clipped down 6:30-ish. Roberts gets his revenge though, laying out Dibiase with a DDT, handing his money out to the crowd, and stuffing a $100 bill down his throat. Great post-match to save the rest from being average. (**1/2)


- Big Bossman vs. Akeem (w/ Slick):
The Twin Towers Exp... actually, now that I think about it, that phrase is really not very good to use. Fucking Terrorists. Anyway, as mentioned in the previous match, the Bossman turned face after refusing a bribe from Dibiase, but Virgil accepted it, so now he's sending the Bossman's former partner, Akeem, after him and to take it out of his ass. Dibiase, who remained at ringside since the previous match, sneak attacks Bossman outside of the ring and works him over good before handing him over to Akeem. That's not enough help though, as Bossman quickly recovers and connects with the Sidewalk Slam out of nowhere for the three count at 1:51. Me thinks they were running really low on time and had to rush through the next couple of matches. They would have a rematch at the next Saturday Night's Main Event, but that was only about a couple of minutes longer and with a lame finish. (DUD)


- Rhythm & Blues and Jimmy Hart (including recently dark haired Greg Valentine) come out to sing Hunka Hunka Honky Love or whatever the fuck it was called. This goes on for a few minutes until the Bushwackers come out of nowhere to get revenge for an attack done a few weeks before the PPV. The only notable moment of this segment is the person driving their pink cadillac happens to be the future Diamond Dallas Page. As if anyone really gives a damn (including myself).


- "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka vs. "Ravishing" Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan):
MORE FILLER! Rude was being prepared for a push at the World Title, so he gets to make Snuka his bitch, as if that meant anything in 1990. Steve Allen joins the commentary booth for this match, and is pretty funny for a guy who probably isn't a wrestling fan. Most notable jokes are making fun of Snuka for being too ugly for a Vampire to bite and that his underwear looks like his wifes. Another semi-squash, as Rude finishes Snuka off without much trouble with the Rude Awakening at the 4:00 mark. And that, finally, is the last of the worthless and/or bad matches on the show. (1/2*)


- WWF World and Intercontinental Championships Match:
Hulk Hogan (World Champion) vs. The Ultimate Warrior (IC Champion)
Once again Flashback to the 1990 Royal Rumble, the Warrior and Hogan cleaned house, leaving only themselves to go at it, and history was made. From there, several face miscommunications and unwanted help kept boiling their tempers until it was officially announced that they would face off at WrestleMania VI, with both the World and Intercontinental Championships on the line. Earlier in the show, both men cut goofy promos, but none as goofy as the one featured on the Warrior DVD, about Warrior taking control of Hogan's plane and nose-diving it to hell or whatever.

Since I already reviewed this a few months back, here's the copy and pasted version for the first time in these reviews: Warrior wins the title in the ultimate challenge following one of the weakest big splashes ever at 23:56. Probably Warrior's best match up until this point, and it really shows that Hogan was capable of pulling a good match out of a slug's ass if he wanted to. Yes, the entire match was planned out it advance, but the entire pace was controlled by Hogan, and he conveniently has to go to resting every few minutes because Warrior was gassed about 90 seconds into the match and thus couldn't do much other than suck the wind out of the first 40 rows. After the match, Hogan presents Warrior with the World Title, which seems to be the passing of the torch. Too bad the Warrior tanked as champion and Hogan was brought back into the picture for another reign, making this pointless by the next year. (***1/4)


Final Thoughts: Fast forward material all of the way until you get to Roberts/Dibiase. Everything before that is time filling crap and sloppy work. Maybe it's the clippings that make the matches bad, but I doubt it. Definitely no recommendation for WrestleMania VI as a whole, but check out Hogan/Warrior, which is available on about 7-8 different videos released by the WWF in the last 15 years.

http://z7.invisionfree.com/Da_Wrestling_Bo...?showtopic=2201


WWF Wrestlemania VII: SuperStars and Stripes Forever


- Finally a WrestleMania I can enjoy! I'm sure everyone knows the story here... McMahon wanted to book the Coliseum which holds about 100,000+ people, but ticket sales were poor enough (tickets were on sale for the entire run of Warrior's title reign), that someone came up with the safety scare regarding Sgt. Slaughter's Iraqi-Sympathizer gimmick. With Warrior bombing as champion (and plans of Hogan/Warrior II out the window), the title was slapped on Slaughter at the Rumble, and Warrior was quickly pushed out of the title picture.


- From the Los Angeles Sports Arena, holding a mere 18,000 compared to the 100,000 WWF was shooting for, from Los Angeles, CA (duh!). Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan provide commentary for the first time on a Pay-Per-View, and it's easily one of the best PBP teams ever. Fuck anyone who says otherwise. Fuck them right in the ass. (farting noise) Coliseum Video clips out Willie Nelson singing the National Anthem. Fucking faggots...


- The Rockers vs. The Barbarian & Haku (w/ Bobby Heenan):
No backstory to this match. The Rockers were in the middle of doing nothing and were constantly teasing a break up which didn't occur for another 10 months. The Barbarian and Haku don't have anything to do either, and weren't exactly high on the card to pick them to go over the Rockers without much trouble. With Heenan occupied with his guys for this match, Jim Duggan decked out in a goofy Uncle Sam costume joins Monsoon... and he DOESN'T SUCK! To my surprise, a very good match, probably all thanks to the Rockers, who were putting on the best matches of their run in 1991. Jannetty gets to play the face-in-peril, and a nifty clip job cuts to the Barbarian missing something from the top rope and Michaels getting the hot tag. The Rockers clean house on the evil Samoans, and Michaels finishes off Haku with a cross body press from the top rope for the three count at 8:41. One year later, Shawn Michaels was a barely over midcard heel, Jannetty was under house arrest, and the Barbarian and Haku were both gone from the company. So many things change in such a short period of time. (***)

NOTE: In my original review, I commented about how I was hoping to see Jannetty back for a few matches to see if he was still able to go and not try and kill Shawn Michaels. I guess last year (and last week again) I got my answer.


- Mean Gene Okerlund is backstage with the celebrity guests, Regis Philbin, Alex Trabek, and Marla Maples. Philbin says he's afraid of Earthquake, and claims he saw him tip over a Pizza Hut Delivery truck and ate everything inside. Marla Maples was Donald Trumps squeeze at the time, and she is playing interviewer for the mens locker rooms, a thing Missy Hyatt was doing in WCW at the time. Alex goofs around with Gene and confuses him by talking in Jeopardy form.


- The Texas Tornado vs. Dino Bravo (w/ Jimmy Hart):
FILLER! Neither man was doing shit since Tornado dropped the IC Title to Mr. Perfect on the 12/15/90 episode of SuperStars and Bravo's meal-ticket in the Earthquake was no longer feuding with Hulk Hogan. Super quick match, as Bravo gets in some of his token offense before the Tornado makes the Super-Texan comeback and finishes him off with the VON ERICH CLAW and Tornado Punch at 2:47. I have no idea why the match was rushed, since I didn't notice any kind of clipping. Considering how bad Coliseum Video was at hiding their clip jobs, I'm pretty sure I'm right... for once. This would be the last PPV appearence of Dino Bravo, who would go into a semi-retirement, making a random appearence now and then for the next year. (DUD)


- Mean Gene is backstage with The British Bulldog and his newest mascot, Winston the Bulldog. Nothing much is said. I do remember a Warlord & Slick interview before their match, so I'm guessing it was clipped from the tape for time.


- The British Bulldog vs. The Warlord (w/ Slick):
It's time for everyone's favorite feud... two guys on steroids trying to find out who the stronger man is! Both men competed in such special matches like Arm-Wrestling and Full Nelson challenges, and both time, the Warlord kicked Davey Boy's ass because Davey Boy is stronger. As if anyone didn't see that coming. Coliseum Video thankfully clips this match down to nothing from it's original run time of nearly 9 minutes. Both men do some basic power stuff, electrifying no one, until the Warlord uses his muscle to take control... and... beat... on... Bulldog... very... slowly. The Warlord gets the Full Nelson on, but the Bulldog powers out, and a running powerslam later ends the Warlor'ds night at a heavily clipped 2:30. This feud would continue on and off for the next few months, finally "ending" at the Tuesday in Texas pay-per-view. (DUD)


- Mean Gene is backstage with The Nasty Boys (still quite fresh from arriving from WCW) and their manager Jimmy Hart. They obviously predict winning the titles, blow their noses in Mean Genes hanky and put it back in his pocket. Hart Foundation rebut their comments, but weakly since Bret Hart seemed to not be the most energetic interview giving guy.


- WWF Tag Team Championship Match:
The Hart Foundation © vs. The Nasty Boys (w/ Jimmy Hart):
(Bret Hart & Jim Neidhart vs. Brian Knobbs & Jerry Saggs)
More of the never-ending Jimmy Hart vs. The Hart Foundation feud. The Nasty Boys won a Tag Team Battle Royale to earn the top contenders spot, and other than that, there's no backstory to this. Coliseum Video with a clip job to this match, too. Your basic formula tag match: the babyfaces control the first few minutes, then get beat for a few more, then make the comeback until everyone brawls without any control from the referee. The portions controlled by the Foundation are pretty good, but the Nasty Boys are one of the suckiest tag teams ever, so they quickly drag this baby down. A hot finish saves it though, as everyone brawls without much sense going on in the referee's mind until Saggs bashes Neidhart good with Jimmy Hart's motorcycle helmet, and Knobbs makes the cover for their first and only WWF Tag Titles at 8:53. The Hart Foundation would split up soon after, having their last match as a team challenging for the belts at the July 1st, 1991 show held at Madison Square Garden. That one was better than this, in my opinion. Weird story told on WrestleMania All Day Long: The Nasties partied with Willie Nelson after the show and gave him one of the tag belts, and showed up to the next TV taping with just one of the titles, probably pissing off someone who had to buy another one. (**3/4)


- Blindfold Match:
Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs. Rick "The Model" Martel:
A long time ago, on a talk show that no longer exists, Rick Martel
"accidentally" sprayed Jake Roberts in the eyes with his Arrogance cologne. Weird... Martel (and others) have shot perfume in their opponents eyes before, and I never heard of them going blind like Roberts did. Oh well, logic in wrestling I guess. Roberts would continue walking around blind for a few weeks, healing enough to be able to wrestle at Survivor Series '90. Since then, Martel had been doing his best to avoid getting his ass handed to him by Roberts, so now he's booked into a corner... a Blindfold match. The rules are both men have to wear hoods over their heads, so they have to walk around blindly. Obviously, the hoods are gimmicked so both men can see where they're going, in hopes they don't fall on their heads and kill themselves.

This match gets way too much shit because of the gimmick. Rating this on the same scale as a normal match is really fucking stupid. I guess if this goes on the same 1 scale, I guess cage matches don't have their own scale either, or any other gimmick match that has an item interfering with the wrestling. Good comedy match, with Roberts playing it straight and Martel goofing around a lot. Not much in term of action, but the crowd, A LOS ANGELES CROWD, is way into this, so already it gets bonus points. Real contact is finally made, with Martel applying the Boston Crab. Roberts manages to power out of it, and a DDT out of nowhere gives Jake the win at 6:11. After the match, Martel gets the Damian treatment, just because. Roberts would turn heel a few months after this, and Martel would be MIA until January '92. Really hard to rate, but on everyone's "normal scale", I'll probably go with * and leave it at that.


- Marla Maples is in the heel locker room where Jimmy Hart, The Nasty Boys, The Mountie, Dino Bravo, and Earthquake celebrate the winning of the tag team titles earlier in the night. Well that's 90 seconds that could've gone to another match.


- "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka vs. The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer):
MORE FILLER! Jimmy Snuka was nothing more than a JTTS at this point of his career, and the Undertaker was being booked as an unstopable monster who didn't feel pain. Just fucking guess who is winning this one... here's a hint, it's not the guy in the leopard skin tights. The Undertaker gets pretty good face reactions for someone that's supposed to be the next top heel of the company. The character was so unique at the time, it was kind of hard not to get into it. Somewhat extended squash match, as Snuka gets very little offense and what he does do is promptly no sold by the Undertaker. The finish comes with Snuka springboarding into the ring, but Undertaker doesn't catch him properly, so he sets him down, punches him once, and scoops him back up for the Tombstone piledriver, and that's all she wrote at 4:20 (insert stupid stoner joke here). The Undertaker's "WrestleMania streak" has begun, and we''re A LONG WAY from the present day. This I believe was the final WrestleMania match for Jimmy Snuka, but we'll find out eventually. (3/4*)


- Career Ending Match:
The Ultimate Warrior vs. "Macho King" Randy Savage (w/ Queen Sherri):
Lots of history here, dating back to the Warrior's reign as World Champion. Randy Savage had been pestering the Warrior about getting title shots, but was shot down at every opprotunity. Things came to a head at the 1991 Royal Rumble where Savage constantly interfered during Warrior's title defense against Slaughter, costing him the title in the process. From there, the Warrior was, in short, pissed off, and Jack Tunney made this match as long as both participants were willing to put their careers on the line. Amazingly, the Warrior's promos were more coherent for this feud than for any other in his run as a professional wrestler.

In the first surprise of the match, the Warrior decides to walk to the ring rather than run at 336 miles per hour. Long feeling out process from both men, which is surprisingly cautious and detailed considering Warrior has no idea what ring psychology is, especially in a gimmick match such as this. Warrior starts going into his usual formula match though, with Savage selling his ass off to make him look good. Savage manages to avoid one of Warrior's reckless attacks, allowing him to take control for a while. We get a referee bump midway through the match, but both men are able to kick out of near falls. Savage takes control again, and comes off with not one, not two, not even three, but FIVE of his signature elbow drops from the top rope. And Warrior still kicks out. Warrior "Warrior's Up", hits his signature spots and the big splash, and now it's Savage's turn to kick out of a move that should've spelled doom. Warrior starts talking to his hand, contemplating walking out on the match. Savage helps make up his mind, which causes Warrior to snap, and whoop Savage's ass until pinning him with one foot following three diving shoulder tackles at 20:46.

Post-Match, Sherri throws a fit in the ring while Savage lay in a fetal position on the canvas, still selling the effects from the match. Sherri, to quote Gorilla Monsoon, is pissed off that her "meal ticket" is gone, and starts laying into Savage with kicks. From there, Elizabeth returns, hopping the security rail, and dumping Sherri out of the ring. After a long pause, Savage and Sherri embrace in the center of the ring, to the aproval of the crowd. Easily one of the best matches in WrestleMania history, and Savage once again delivers the goods to have a classic match. Easily the Warrior's best match ever, almost all entirely thanks to Savage's hard work. (****1/2)


- Coliseum Video clips out a bunch of interviews conducted by Alex Trabek and Regis Philbin, but here they are courtesy of the WWF Home Video release: First, Philbin tries to get an interview from the Undertaker and Paul Bearer, but they're too busy measuring Philbin for a would-be casket. We throw it to Trabek, who tries to Jeoparize Demolition and Mr. Fuji for a long and dull promo. Now back to Regis, who does his best to get an interview out of Tenryu and Kitao, but they just mutter stuff. Back to Trabek once more, as he interviews Jake Roberts, and gets shit scared by Damian. And now back to the action...


- Koji Kitao & Genichiro Tenryu vs. Demolition (Smash & Crush) (w/ Mr. Fuji):
To say the crowd is really dead now would be an under-statement. We have no reason to cheer for the Japanese guys, since they never appeared on the weekend shows to build up to this match, and the "New" Demolition were as heatless as you can get, since the crowds never took a liking to Crush, and they were basically part of the Job Tour '91 with the likes of Koko B. Ware, Tito Santana, and Tugboat. Lots of nothing happens, with Demolition controlling for the most part. Crush takes too long going for the Demolition Decapitation (WAY too long), and for some reason goes to the top rope for it. Kitao comes in and eaisly knocks him out of the ring, while Tenryu finishes Smash off with a Powerbomb at 3:02, and putting the final nail in the coffin of the Demolition legacy. Smash would hang around a few months more working solo matches, jobbing of course, while Crush was sent somewhere else until being brought back up the next spring as fun loving Kona Crush, who happend to be a little bit of a mischief maker as a little kid, thanks to some helpful flashbacks into the mind of Crush. (1/4*)


- Mean Gene is with The Big Boss Man. He says he will be the champion. After all the insults hurting his momma's feeling, you hurt his. Heenan sent family member after family member in his path, and he's mowed them all down, except for Mr. Perfect. Boss Man says he will make a perfect example that crime does not pay. Mr. Perfect & Bobby Heenan rebut that and Perfect says he is what he says he is, and thats Perfect. Eminem stole that!


- WWF-Intercontinental Championship Match:
Mr. Perfect © (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Big Boss Man:
This was more of a "Bobby Heenan vs. Bossman" feud rather than Perfect/Bossman. Since a few weeks after SummerSlam '90, Bobby Heenan was throwing insult after insult at the Bossman's momma. Bossman had enough and handcuffed Heenan to ringside to teach him a lesson. It didn't work, and now he's still pissed. Rick Rude was originally part of the feud, but was suspended indefinitely, and so Mr. Perfect was leading the Heenan Family instead. Coliseum Video with another brutal clip job, but once again, people blow this match for being great only since both men have died. SURPRISE! Really boring for what's shown, and out of nowhere comes ANDRE THE GIANT to save the day! He clocks Perfect behind the referee's back, but the Barbarian and Haku run in to draw a Disqualification in favor of the Big Bossman at 4:34. Bossman would drop his feud with the Heenan Family without warning and went on with a program with the Mountie soon after. (3/4*)


- Greg "The Hammer" Valentine vs. Earthquake (w/ Jimmy Hart):
In one of the biggest surprise turns of the year (even if it meant nothing), Greg Valentine turned face after a little miscommunication with Jimmy Hart during a match with Saba Simba on the MSG card held on December 28th, 1990. Outside of a confrontation on Wrestling Challenge, I don't think there was much to do with this pairing. Also noteworthy is that it was before WrestleMania when th