Same as the first "Weekly Buys" thread. 20 pages is enough. Just wanted to start a new one for the fresh year (well, the 10 day old year).

Yeah, I had been thinking about starting a new one as well.

I'll start the thread off by whoring the new Spirit series again. Tons of old school fun. Not too violent and it actually has some humor unlike a lot of DC books.

Also eagerly awaiting the arrival of Justice Society #2. It's everything Justice League isn't and should be.

Fantastic Four #311-313 (1988)
This was the "new" Fantastic Four, with a mutated armadillo-looking Thing and Ms. Marvel as the "She-Thing". Human Torch and Crystal round out the crew. #311 starts out with Ms. Marvel and Ben crashing in Wakanda. Marvel's trying to kill herself, but they end up walking through the jungle and meeting Black Panther and Dr. Doom. Doom asks Marvel to join up with him, yet this somehow appeals to her "sense of honor" and makes her dedicated to being a member of the FF. Thing, meanwhile, says to Ms. Marvel: "hey, maybe now that yer' a Thing, we might be able to start somethin'". Smooth. Also, back at Four Freedoms Plaza, Crystal has a reunion with a former beau-- some guy from New Jersey and the "Vision and Scarlet Witch" maxi-series. She's a tramp.

In #312, the team travels underground to seek the Mole Man, who may be able to cure Ms. Marvel. Doesn't work. #313 is even dumber. The team decides to goof around and explore Mole Man's caves. They run into teleporation portals and soon meet Belasco, the Cat-People and Master Pandemonium. Belasco captures Crystal and decides that he wants to bang her. Dangit..how many "romance" themed angles has Crystal been involved in?!

This whole era was basically the FF wandering around while bumping into villains and plots from other books.

I also want to take a colossal shit on this mega genius Solomon Grundy bullshit going on in Justice League. Way to totally remove the unique nature of Grundy. Another in a long line of totally meaningless revamps.

As usual, I don't remember the exact issue numbers, but I picked up the most recent:

Uncanny X-Men: awesome, things are picking up nicely.

X-Men: Not sure if I'm too intrigued by the new arc, but its good to see Rogue's team getting some field work and moving out of the mansion.

Iron Fist #2: Haven't read yet.

Astonishing X-Men #19: New arc has me interested, I'm going crazy over the Kitty/Colossus sub plot.

Amazing Spider-Man: Fun verbal exchange between Spidey and Captain America.

Wolverine Origins #9: I enjoyed the flashbacks explaining Wolverine's history with the Black Widow.

Batman #662
Wow..that was quick. Wasn't the last issue out, just last week? Anyways, a completely boring story. No swerve to the villain's identity, either. It's a bit of a shame, because Tom Mandrake did some of his best work (well, best that I've seen from him) on this arc.

Also glanced through GI Joe: America's Elite #18 and Thunderbolts #110. Got a chuckle out of Thunderbolts, because the artist apparently thinks of Tommy Lee Jones when he draws Norman Osborne.

Oh yeah... the Fat Guy at the Comic Shop gave me the San Diego Comic-Con Update. My best buddy really wanted to go last year, and it looks like I really wanna' go this year. The Padres aren't in town that weekend, but the Angels are home.... (I need to do a Remote Dump this summer to add to my list).

New Comics this week

Nothing...because Diamond screwed up my stores order. I should be getting it next week

SGT. Rock The Prophecy Issues 1 thru 6

Written and art by Joe Kubert. Cover for Issue 1 by one of his feckless kids.

It's Kubert, It's Sgt. Rock, you know what you're getting. The team drags this Jew kid through Latvia in the arse end of WW2, ticking all the bboxes as we, including the all important concentration camp.

Did nothing for me

Justice Society of America #1
No idea why they did a re-launch of this thing. I'm about 50/50 on this book. Not a fan of the core members picking out potential members from photos and saying "he's in". Also didn't care for the way the entire team exists because of an appeal from Wonder Woman, Batman and Superman. But there's enough of a weirdo cast here that it looks interesting.

I think the 1999 JSA #1 ended the same way-- team gets together for their first official meeting and suddenly some weird hero pops up. In 1999 it was Hawkgirl, in 2007 it's Mr. America. Yeah....Mr. America? That's a tough sell for me. If not the character, then the guy's moustache.

I also find it hilarious that Mr. Terrific is officially the "World's 3rd Smartest Man".

Captain America #420 (1993)
Cap and SHIELD assault one of the Red Skull's hideouts in a lame scene that belonged in "GI Joe Special Missions". Then, Cap follows a weak lead to LA, where he meets the second Blazing Skull. Wow..here's a weirdo I never knew about. He's not the Golden Age/Invaders Skull, either. It's the former "Skull the Slayer", looking like a green Dr. Phosphorous, transported back to this reality and now working for Dr. Druid (I thought Dr. Druid was dead after his heel turn in 1988). Yeah...there were way too many Marvel comics put out in 1992-1993.

So, Cap and Skull fight some members of the Night Shift-- Digger, Misfit, the Brothers Grimm and Needle. Since it was 1993, Needle has a mechanical "needle gun" on each arm. The heroes win by...punching the villains. Completely senseless.

I thought the Starman character made the book for me. He's easily the most interesting character out of that. I got a good laugh out of him rushing back because it was sloppy joe night.

Yeah, I liked Starman, too. Since they teased a LSH and Dawnstar appearance on the final page, I'll venture a guess that there's some connection between this Starman and Star Boy. Their costumes are fairly similar. Maybe Star Boy got sent back in time and went insane in the membrane.

I also like Mr. T, Wildcat, Dr. Mid-nite and the new Sandman (although he did nothing in this issue). The new Cyclone Kid/Red Tornado/Maxine kid seems okay... but why would she have all these powers? The "overwhelmed fanboy/fangirl" storyline pissed me off to great lengths when it was Justice in "Avengers", but I like that Maxine's being presented as a total dork.

Marvel Milestones: Onslaught: Marvel Universe
(I think reprinted from 1996)

I tend to enjoy comics with a lot of characters, like the Avengers, and well, this one has about 670 of them. From the cover alone, I spy the Fantastic Four, the Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, The Wasp(?), Captain America, Thor, and some of the X-Men.

Anyway, it's just one big ass fucking fight between every Marvel character known to man against Onslaught, some super destroying beast thing. Very violent, and according to Wikipedia.com, 18 characters are "disposed of". Naturally, all of them came back to life or their identities reborn through others.

It's messed up.... nobody officially "died". They were all sucked away to Counter-Earth by Frankln Richards and "REBORN" in the awful year-long "Heroes Reborn" event.

Originally, "Onslaught" was slated to be a big X-men crossover. But about a month into it, Marvel agreed to bring back Jim Lee and Rob Liefeld (two of the douches who bailed Marvel to form Image Comics in 1992). Lee and Liefeld were set to takeover Fantastic Four, Avengers, Iron Man and Captain America in what was being billed as "Unfinished Business". Since the X-books were the topsellers, they decided to spin the revamps into the tail-end of the "Onslaught" crossover. Which might explain the lame ending to the story-- everyone jumps into a big bubble and a big explosion happens.

While the "Reborn" stories all sucked monster cock, in hindsight it worked out okay. All four books that got the treatment were close to cancellation and full of horrible continuity before the gimmick. For instance, the Wasp had died and returned as a pink mutant thingie. Thor had ditched his shirt and was wearing a catcher's mask. When everyone eventually returned to the regular Marvel U, alot of the awful crap of the early 90's had been conveinently wiped away. Sorta' kick-started Marvel's retro-craze, which lasted into roughly 2000 (for the Avengers, especially).

Stuff I read on the pot today:

Iron Man/Captain America: Casualties of War
I'll give a Cool Point to DAVE for bringing this to my attention. One problem I've had with Civil War is how Cap and Iron Man were suddenly so violent towards each other. This one-shot provided some substance. Without heavily researching everything, I found one continuity error in the "Galactic Storm" flashback-- EVIL Vision is seen, when he was still about 2 years away. Plus, Black Knight is wearing something resembling his Heroes for Hire costume... which is actually an improvement over what he WAS wearing at the time: a frickin' flight jacket and a five o'clock shadow. I'm glad the Glactic Storm issue was dug up, since that was a fairly big rift between Iron Man and Cap. It hadn't been mentioned between those two since about 1992.

I really liked how Iron Man pointed out how Cap's been subconsciously using his reputation to gain followers. When I was trying to relate to the Civil War story, I thought: "hmm..gotta' side with Cap, since he's always the good guy". Not worth the 3.99 cover price, but a decent book.

Defenders #71 (1979)
With the help of Clea, the Defenders go into Tunnel-World to learn the origin of Lunatik-- a Joker rip-off who had been plaguing the team for about two years. Lunatik was actually four people, all a part of some king from a parallel dimension. A king who had fought Man-Wolf in "Marvel Premiere". Sheesh...talk about obscure continuity. Tunnel-World is kind of a combo of Lord of the Rings and Ringworld ... but it was the 70's and the Defenders. This was a comic that had a whole storyline and character (Devil-Slayer) based on a Blue Oyster Cult song. Plus an issue dedicated to Rush. And don't ask about Moon Knight and the beer can.

And now you know the rest of the story. Thanks for going through the trouble of trying to remember all of that. Must've been a strain on the old brain. :D

Just kidding. I didn't know wether to say die or not, since some characters look really fuckin beat up, and others simply vanished.

Sheesh..you should know: "nobody ever stays dead in comics". Or soap operas. The standard punchline used to be: "nobody ever stays dead. Except Bucky". But that's been ruined recently.

My mom was crying in 1991 because General Hospital had killed off Robert Scorpio. I told her "unless you see the body, he ain't dead. He'll be back". I guess he finally came back about two years ago. Ma was happy.

"Heroes Reborn" was also when the official "Vol. I" of those four titles ended. Of course, "Avengers" and "Fantastic Four" eventually merged the numbering of their volumes II & III back to coincide with original numbering. "Avengers" re-started with "New Avengers" when they hit 500, but FF is still numbering in the 500's. Confusing for new fans, but makes perfect sense for oldsters. Really.

"Iron Man" and "Captain America" have each re-started a few times since and haven't reverted to original numbering. Which is sorta' okay for Cap, since his original Volume I continued the numbering from "Tales of Suspense". That's why Cap's "first issue" from the 60's is numbered #100.

Mondo Confusing... and good point on the "dead" theory. You're only dead for as long as money can't be squeezed out of you. :)

Well, finally, here's two weeks worth of comics. No Spirit though. My shop didn't get it in.

52 is an even more frustrating experience reading more than one issue at a time.

35 has Luthor murder most of his Everyman project kids...just because, he's evil. Again I stress that Lex Luthor has been evil for 40 years and interesting for 1. Using a series like this, which was designed to push new characters, smacks of Geoff J attempting, once again, to mold the DCU into his own vision. Elsewhere, the happy space crew gear up for a fight

36 gives us said fight, and, see if you can follow this....logic, I guess

-Lobo tells the Happy Space Crew that his plan to get to Lady Styx is to "claim" the bounty Styx put on the heads of the HSC.

-Lobo duly hands over the HSC to Lady Styx, and then turns heel, by declaring that he was really after the bounty.

-Lobo's talking Dolphin sidekick then screws over everyone by pitching a fight, by delibertaely mistranslating their conversation, and Lobo turns face again, and kills Lady Styx, last seen alive in Jim Starlin's book, three weeks ago.

-Animal Man gets a heroic moment for the first time in years, and promptly gets offed

-Oh. and Skeets discovers Rip Hunter and Booster Supernova hiding in Kandor

37 gives us 10 pages of Booster Gold explaining the plot to everyone.


Somewhere in all of this is an Origin of Firestorm that wipes Ronny Raymond from history (just as the other one gets cancelled) and an Adam Hughes Origin of Power Girl where the colouring goes badly wrong.


It's....ferociously difficult to like this book at all sometimes. What the hell are DC paying Grant Morrison and Greg Rucka for, because this book appears to be all Johns with his "there are Heroes and there are villains, and nothing in between", I love the Silver Age" mentality, with Mark Waid being forced to actually flesh out the character Johns deemed worthy of using. Why is so much time devoted to proving Luthor is a bastard....oh, wait, the book is being written by the current writer of Action Comics, silly me. What the hell was the point of using Lobo, if he's not going to be involved in the finale? Why bump off Animal Man, and then revive him almost immediately. Why bounce Styx after making her look like a threat.

There are fourteen weeks left. I'm in this, until the bitter end. And then I'm going to burn all 52 issues, and film it, and put it on youtube


Ultimate Vision issue 2 gives us an interesting quirk, as Carey writes a better villain tha he writes the Vision herself.

Ultimate George Tarleton decides to wire the Gah Lak Tus' module...onto himself, this presumably later creating Ultimate Modok when it all goes wrong. Anyway, the weird girl helps Vision, and we're pitching for a fight in issue 3.

Irredeemable Ant Man continues to be a bit of a bastard. This month, he discovers a colony of ants in a presumably brand new Shield Helicarrier, and basically build an army, while spying on the women's showers. Also, there's now another new guy, in another Ant Man suit. Is it just me, or does Hank have WAY too much time on his plate

Uncanny X-Men 482 brings back the Starjammers. Whoppde doo. Anyway, this is a set up issue for the final act, presumably one big fight between Team Uncanny/Starjammers and D'Ken/Vulcan and the Shi'Ar. But the book is picking up, which is the main thing.

Stormwatch PHD continues to be an enjoyable read, because of Christos Gage's writing, but the art leaves be a little cold. Gage uses Issue 3 as a character building exercise - the team decamps to Vegas to train another PHD group, and a villain is established.

Also, he fleshes out the character of the Monstrosity, a little old man who turns into a viscous demon. Great stuff. But I'm not crazy about the art.


More later

I give Flash #7 a thumbs up. Definate improvement over the first six issues.

Wisdom 2 is a weird comic book. Paul O'Brien thinks there's a thing running through it about British Identity, and National Identity, but I just don't see it. It does have the Origin of the Skrull Beatles, and that made me laugh, a lot.



Warren Ellis takes over as writer of Thunderbolts with issue 110.

Let's just let that sit there for a moment. Brace yourselves.

In the current Civil War type Marvel Universe, things are BAD. So bad, in fact, that the Government has put Norman Osborn in charge of the Thunderbolts (Venom, Bullseye, Moonstone, Songbird, Swordsman and Radioactive Man), and turned them into a bizarre Thunderbirds pastiche who set out to kick Jack Flag's arse.

This is gointo be a very interesting book in terms of sales figures.

Ultimate Power #2 and #3. Focuses around the Fantastic Four and the Squadron Supreme. They also threw in the Avengers and X-Men for a big "fight" just for the hell of it, before everything was "settled" for the cliff-hanger of issue #4.

I read several titles this morning.

Thunderbolts #110:

Fairly good but a slow read. Next month should be action packed so that works for me.

New Excalibur #13-15

A Juggernaught arc. He's losing his powers and decides to head back to Korea. We get a lot of team angst. I loved this storyline as it goes deep into the mind of Juggernaught and his struggles with the horrible things he's done in the past and if he can truly find redemption.

Helmet of Fate: Detective Chimp

Fun little throwaway story. Chimp briefly gets to play Dr. Fate but can't handle the power. A worthwhile buy if you like Chimp.

Wolverine #50. I was let down by this issue for two reasons. The first was that the main story ended early in favor of a flashback, Hulk vs. Wolverine battle. It was cool and all, but I was more interested in the Sabretooth story. Speaking of, I'm not sure how I feel about the "shocking revelation" in the issue, but I have to hand to Loeb, it's enough to make me buy #51.

Man, I'm still way behind on my reading. I was hoping to be caught up before going to work on Friday night but I doubt that's a reality. I have a 7 day run where I only work 3 days so hopefully I can get back on track then.

Spoil it for us...what's the "shocking revelation"?!

Yeah, come one

Tsk. Much like Marvel...I seem to missing my release dates....


52 Weeks 38 and 39 reveal that while the book may have a direction.It's probably not the right one. It's revealed that Egg Fu has the scientists building the Four Horsemen, with the tease that one of them is already a member of the cast (and that isn't too obvious........). The Question may or may not be dead. Lex Luthor has superpowers...Steel hates him...wah wah wah.



X-Men Issue 195 (Written by Mike Carey, Art By Humberto Ramos) reveals the villain for this piece, and since it's only a three part arc, I doubt it's going to be that last we see of him. Cable's line about Sabretooth is pretty damn great, I have to admit. We're pitching for a fight in the next issue.....the annual brings back Exodus...and issue 200 brings back M______

Civil War The Return (Written by Paul Jenkins, Art by Tom Raney) brings back Captain Marvel. As in, the one who died. And he's going to die again. You see, they yanked him out his time, and not to cause hassle, Iron Tony put him in charge of the prison, and one day he'll have to go home and die and my head hurtsssssss


The Eternals (6/7). OH JUST FUCK OFF. I don't care if it's written by Gaiman or not.




He writes a decent Hank Pym though



Punisher War Journal Issue 3. (Written by Matt Fraction, Art by Ariel Olivetti)

Interestingly I was only saying to my LCS owner that I was thinking of dropping it, but this impressed me. Fraction is still working out the kinks in his writing of Frank, and the rest of the issue just coats along. To wit: Frank respects Captain America too much to actually fight him, so Cap beats him up....but throws him in the armory. Frank has Guns. Frank is back.

Also - this issue ends the Civil War tie in.


The Spirit 3. (Darwyn Cooke). Weird little issue as Cooke decides to tell us what he thinks of the Middle East. Spirit chases P'Gell around for an issue trying to get her to not fleece an Arab prince, only she has something much worse in mind. The Israeli turns out to be a comedy character.


X-Factor 15. Another oddity, as Hydra brainwash Jamie, trying to get at Jamie's most self destructive personality. What this does to Jamie...we're not really sure yet.

Criminal 4 End of the first arc. Leo returns to the city to see just how much shit he's in. Greta finds out first hand......


Sorry if it seems as though I don't have much to say, but I am working a lot these days...



Dave's Bargain Box

Apocalypse vs. Dracula (Frank Tieri, Clay Henry)

Um...ok. Sometime in the near past, Apocalypse nearly murdered Dracula. Some time later, Dracula fights back. They fight for four issues, and it turns out that Dracula bit Apoc, which is why Apocalypses blood has restoritative properties. Odd little mini, but readable

Crap ordered off ninjaturtles.com...


Eastman and Laird's TMNT Vol. 1 #1 (2005 special edition reprint)
The much more violent turtles are so often compared to the cartoony nature they became for the original TV series.

Gizmo and the Fugitoid Book one
Gizmo and the Fugitoid Book Two (apparently, both close the gaps of storylines from the Fugitoid comics and a storyline arc in early issues of TMNT)

This weeks theme: Whether or not I found this week's comics more entertaining than Kevin Nash's "The Proof Is in the DOLL/Pudding" on Impact

newuniversal 3. (Writen by Internet Jesus, Art by Salvador Larocca)


Wait...my LCS hasn't even gotten Issue 2 yet.


X-Men Annual Written by Mike Carey. Art by Mark Brooks.

Look! It's Exodus! Mr. Sinister! The Beaubier Twins are back! Mark Brooks' Art is really crap!

PASS

52. Week 40. Written by the WWE Raw Creative Team.

Luthor vs. Steel

PASS


X-men Phoenix: Warsong Conclusion. Written by Greg Pak. Art by Tyler Kirkman.

You see, now the Phoenix is trapped in the hearts of the Stepfords, and their hearts are made of diamond, so it can't get out, but neither can their feelings.

WINNER: Biggest Botch job on a can't miss project!

PASS


UNCANNY X-MEN Issue 483. Written by Edwin Brubaker. Art by Clayton Henry.

Look, it's Vulcan, and he's wanted to kill D'Ken for 9 issues...oh, wait, now he's mates with him.

I love Brubaker with all my heart, but this book irritates the shit out of me. The art doesn't help either

PASS

God what a shitty week.



Wait....what's that coming over the Hill.........





This book is a work of art.

To wit. Fell walks all over an interview of a murder suspect. Nails him to the wall, and then shoots himself in the foot because he can't keep his mouth shut. Fell is angry.

Buy this book. Buy two copies. Buy three.

Nightwing #129
Nightwng goes door to door looking for Raptor's kid. In costume. BUt the kid's hanging out at a youth mission and everything's peachy. One of Marv Wolfman's (the writer's) beliefs that everybody lives an afterschool special and how Good People are abundant.

New villains Bride & Groom are in town, abducting, torturing and killing people. They have a backstory set in 1600's New England, but they don't seem interesting or mysterious to me.

New Avengers #27
Debut of the New New Avengers. This issue should have really hit the racks after Civil War, but scheduling's not one of Marvel's best traits. Follows up the Echo/Ronin business from about a year ago. There's another new Ronin...since the whole "Who is Ronin" thing was a phenomenal flop last year. The story sludges along until the final 8 pages or so, when the new team shows up in Japan and beats the crap out of the Hand. Luke Cage delivers a "special message" to Elektra, from Daredevil -- by kicking her in the ho-ho. I actually enjoyed this more than my comments would indicate.

G.I. Joe: America's Elite #20
Ties up the obvious "mystery" surrounding General Phillip Rey. It's been running for about 4 years now and EVERYBODY knew he was a Serpentor clone... so there's nothing special here. I'm more curious about how Rey was allowed onto the team without selecting a dorky codename.

Oh yeah, guess what happens NEXT MONTH in GI Joe? Another "bold new direction", the first in about 8 months!! Meaning: some other Joe fanboy gets to write the book for a few issues and focus on figures, errr... "characters" that he likes.

Other shit
The Store With Shitloads of Dollar Comics, that I used to hit on the far end of town, has closed. But I stopped by a shop I hadn't visited for about 10 years. I picked up all of this crap for 20 cents a pop:
Current crap
-Outsiders #38
-Incredible Hulk #85-86
-JLA Classified #26
-JSA #84 (middle of a big story about...the Gentleman Ghost. Oh joy)
-Robin #151-152
-Man-Bat #1
-Avengers "Halloween 2006 Ashcan"- Set in the "adventures" universe with Storm, Hulk & Giant-Girl on the team. Labelled "not for resale"... but 20 cents isn't really a sale and damn if I'll waste more than 2 seconds looking for it elsewhere.

Old crap:
-Moon Knight (1980) #16
-Power Man & Iron Fist # 115, 107
-Shogun Warriors (!!) #19 (with the FF).

From the ES Vaults
Since it's at the front of a long box at eye-levels, I've been re-reading: "Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn II". Pretty good and it's a shame that GL hit the crapper about two years after this.

Intriugingly, the new "Who Is Ronin" is now down to two possible suspects, and NO ONE else, so it will obviously be neither

Crap bought yesterday...


G.I. Joe: America's Elite #18 - Feh. I've seen much better, and it sucks I got an issue that is in the middle of a storyline that is poorly recaped for new readers.

A Nightmare on Elm Street #1 (Dec. 06) - Feh Part II. The art-work is average at best, and the story is still the lame one used in all of the suck-ass sequels that no one likes.

Both a waste of the $1.50 they cost me.

I honestly can NOT recommend GI Joe to anyone who doesn't have a nostalgic connection to the franchise. It's really just fan fiction, right down to the stupid "romance" angles and wretched "down time" scenes.

"ooo..Shipwreck is dating Cover Girl!".

--or--

"Wake up, Stalker, it's time to take your kids to pool! Weeeee!"

As much of a GI Joe mark as I am, I wouldn't be upset if the series disappeared completely.

Next time I'm buying something good... back issues of the Fantastic Four and Spider-Man... or something.

I did make up for that purchase with the Marvel Milestones issue that reprints Ghost Rider #93 and the "unpublished" Ghost Rider #94. :)

So you're the one who bought that!

Kinda' weird that they're reprinting that. Sorta' gives hope that we might one day see "Essential Master of Kung-Fu, Vol.I" Someday.....someday....

Kung-What?!? (pulls out wallet filled with moths)

The Deadly Hands of Shang-Chi: Master of Kung-Fu!

A guy who was always colored ORANGE, ran around in a bathrobe and punched people.

Get your Shang-Chi WIki on!

You could probably get most issues for about a quarter.

Bah! I'll stick with the classics, like Mu-Shu-Wi and Karbangoffle.

I read Strange Tales #114. This features the Human Torch vs. a villain posing as Captain America. Interesting book as it was a feeler for the eventual return of Cap. This book also marks Dr. Strange getting a regular spot in a book.

This weeks theme. Whether or not I found this week's haul more entertaining than MVP's "Ballin'" Elbow on Smackdown.

I'd write more, but I'm doped up on painkillers and have to be up at 5am

52 Week 41

First of all, it astounds me that certain members of the creative team can write this book on time, yet the first J---s/Donner arc on Action is going to take SEVEN MONTHS to complete.

Book sucks, by the way

Astonishing X-Men 20 (Written by El Whedon. Drawn By God. And Laura Martin)

You know the drill by now surely - The art is incredible, the dialogue is great, but nothing ever happens on this book ever.

Ant-Man 5. (Written by Robert Kirkman. Art by Hester and Parks)

Eric's Army Of Ants. Eric's got his gal pal knocked up. Hank Pym. Ants now doing a "break the fourth wall" recap on page one. Astoundingly funny stuff.

Stormwatch 4. (Written by Christos Gage. Art by Doug Mahnke)


Ladies Night. I distinctly remember Rob Sacasa doing a similar issue of MK4, but this blows it out of the water. This months staggering Revelation: Black Betty is really, really fucked up.

The art is growing on me aswell.





But now






Justice, Like Lightning!!!!







Thunderbolts 111. Written by Love Swami Warren Ellis. Art By Mike Deodato


The team, as you can well expect, fucks up royally. It can only get worse, I suspect. I won't spoil it for you.

Also, why did Songbird take a gig on the team if it meant demotion?



Look, I know people have taken issue with Ellis taking less than 20 pages to demolish 109 issues of story, but there's an even more fascinating story brewing here. Get in on the ground floor.

Next month. Osborn. Spiders.

I felt Songbird accepted the gig since:
1-- Osborn called her on waffling and switching sides so often
2-- Sure beats the alternative of not joining and being hunted down
3-- She's a messed-up broad still looking for her identity.

It seemed in-character for her. So yeah, I just saved you from having to read 109 issues of "Thunderbolts".

I don't feel that Ellis demolished the story of the previous 109, either. Zemo was becoming a burden, so I'm glad he's off doing his own mini-series thing. It's also interesting that the old holdovers (Songbird, Moonstone, Radioactive Man and Swordsman) were working so hard to be good guys... but now they can let themselves go and be the ugly pricks they've been trying to evolve away from. After years of being a "hero", they find that heroes are outlaws and it's now okay to revert to a villain. That's grounds for alot of character conflict and possibly some interesting writing.

Batman #636
Written in novel format with shitty Photoshop/Poser graphics. People can say "whoa! What an innovation! An entire comic without the traditional comic effects!" Forget that it's been done several times before. Most notably on a Firestorm Annual in 1984. But I'll give DC credit that they put this in the REGULAR Batman comic, not as some special 8.99 one-shot special.

The first half of the story contains worthless drivel about Joker's "circus gang". Midgets and other stuff we've never heard of. Really, you can skip through this garbage, unless you dig this Writer's horrible run-on prose, like: "they slam the door behind them, as quickly as they can, the way you would if you thought something might escape in the form of a cloud of evil gas if you didn't act fast to trap it". I love that... I can hear Zan saying: "form of... a cloud of evil gas!!" More awful metaphors are spaced through the book... like cockroaches who suddenly invade, then escape, your living room on a night when the cold rain slams against the shingles outside as you settle in to watch your latest escape in the hum of the television. Dammt...now I'm doing it!

The last few pages bring it home with a showdown between a "new" Joker, Harley Quinn and Batman. This also addresses the annoying plotline from about 8 months ago, where a GCPD cop dressed up as Batman and shot Joker.

The computer images are weak, but text layout is also fairly amatuer. One paragraph flows on the left and right side of a picture. In other words, there's a picture in the middle of text. That's a huge no-no in typography. You usually should break the text into columns or some other cheat. Plus, on some pages the text doesn't contrast well with the background. But hey... if this kind of junk catches on, I'd make a great Art Director for DC's subpar design/layout department.

I got my shipment in this week. Saw all that crap for the Countdown weekly series that DC is starting right after 52. Glad to know that was just a lot of crap so they can lead up to the next "earth shattering" event.