The Official "DWB Hall of Fame" Induction Ceremony

The ceremony is hailing live, from the basement of Scrooge McSuck. Of course, we have shipped in special cameras to make the room look bigger on television. There is a sort of nice podium set up, with a microphone for speeches. Our MC for the night is none other than DWB legend, White Miles Davis.

WMD: Welcome to the first annual DWB Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony! I'm happy to announce that we have set an all time attendance record of Scrooge's basement with 12 people in the audience! Give yourselves a hand! Now without further delay, since we're already behind on time, our first presenter of the evening: Mr. Plague!

Plague: Thank you, WMD, but that's "Professor" Plague. I didn't spend seven years pretending to be in college and using my tuition money on cosmetic surgery to be called "Mister." Anyhow, how the hell is everyone tonight? Tonight, I am honored to induct a man who truly belongs in the DWB Hall of Fame. Let's take a look at our first inductee of the night...

A curtain behind Plague opens up and a nice big screen HDTV is behind it. Rowe bought it at Best Buy using his discount and plans to return it first thing in the morning. We are treated to a video compilation of our first new HOFer, the "Million Man" Ted Dibiase! This includes footage of Ted wrestling Macho Man at WrestleMania 5, managing Steve Austin, and hanging out with the nWo.

Plague: Now wasn't that just fan-fucking-tastic? Ted Dibiase accomplished a lot in professional wrestling. He was a hell of a performer, had many classic matches, and even main-evented WrestleMania! He played the rich snob gimmick to perfection and in retirement used his clout to put over younger performers. Ted Dibiase will live in our hearts forever. Thank you fuckers for your time.

WMD: Wasn’t that just great? Our next presenter deserves a big round of applause for letting us use his lair for our ceremony tonight. Here to induct our next legend, let’s give a warm welcome to the first ever DWB World Champion: Scrooge McSuck!

Scrooge: What the fuck are you fucking fuckers doing in my basement? I never agreed to this shit? Oh, what the fuck ever… I’m here to induct the greatest wrestler in the world not named Hogan or Kane. He was a major draw for many years, not only in the World Wrestling Federation, but in World Championship Wrestling as well. He may very well have fucked a teenage Stephanie McMahon too. So even if the WWE Hall of Fame ignores this man, there is no way in hell we can. I’m talking about “Macho Man” Randy Savage!

We are not treated to a video package that strangely just consists of Savage and Sherri vs Dusty Rhodes and Saphire from WrestleMania VI. Scrooge curses loudly and storms over to his computer to write a review of this abortion.

WMD: Now isn’t that something… oh, and as a reminder to you all, stick around after the ceremony. My band will be playing and you won’t want to miss it! We have to move to the front yard though, because unlike this ceremony, people actually want to see my show (someone in the audience shouts “take it off”). Hey… what’s MerlinWater doing here? Get him out of here!

(DK and RFS grab MerlinWater and throw him out)

WMD: Damn, this show is running too long already… here to induct our next legend, he is the incomparable E Stragand!

ES: Thank you, thank you. I can’t tell you all what a delight it is to have me here. We have all been fans of professional wrestling for many years. We have seen many wrestlers rise to the top, but we have seen many fall as well. We have cheered our hearts out, as well as have them ripped from our bodies, mainly by Vince Russo. But there is one man who you can always associate with quality in our great sport. I am talking about one of the greatest managers, and one of the greatest minds in all of wrestling: Jim Cornette. Instead of a video package, I am going to reenact one of Cornette’s greater recent moments.

Wrestlevessel suddenly is pushed onto the stage, looking confused. Soon, D.A.V.E. comes out, dressed as the Boogeyman.

D.A.V.E.: I am the BOOGEYMAN, and I’M GOING TO GET YA!

Wrestlevessel starts laughing his ass off. ES puts on some round glasses and smacks the taste out of Wrestlevessel’s mouth. DK and RFS grab Wrestlevessel and toss him out, with him landing on MerlinWater.

ES: This has been a reminder that Jim Cornette kicks ass, and it is a true honor to include him in our Hall of Fame. Thank you.

WMD: Hahaha… that was ridiculous. And our next presenter is ridiculous as well. Let’s hope he can get through this without shedding any tears, I present to you our favorite punching bag: the Last Free Voice!

LFV: Okay, enough of this emo shit! I could make fun of you guys too! I mean, you’re fat, he’s bald, and you’re all fucking ugly! I’m going to write a poem about this later… so I am here tonight to induct a man who needs no introduction. He was the biggest star of the 1990’s and lead the World Wrestling Federation into one of their most financially successful periods in history. His feud with Vince McMahon will go down in history as being one of the all time greatest, as well as his rivalry with The Rock. I am talking about the one and only Stone Cold Steve Austin!

We are now treated to another video package. The video opens with Austin in WCW, tagging with Brian Pillman. It moves to Austin in ECW, impersonating Hulk Hogan and delivering a classic promo during the Sandman/Whipwreck ladder match. We then see Austin arriving in the WWF as the Ringmaster, being led to the ring by Ted Dibiase. Next is Austin becoming the King of the Ring and reminding Jake Roberts that “Austin 3:16 just whooped your ass!” Then Austin battles Bret Hart at WrestleMania 13, as blood pours out of his skull. Next is Austin defeating Shawn Michaels for the WWF Championship and then stunning the hell out of Vince McMahon. The video skips through to 2001, when Austin defeats The Rock at WrestleMania 17, and shakes Vince’s hand. The final shot is Austin at WrestleMania 21, sharing a beer with Roddy Piper… before stunning him.

LFV: It brings me great pleasure to welcome Steve Austin to the Hall of Fame.

WMD: That was surprisingly classy. If we can keep stupid things from happening for ten minutes, I’m happy. On a side note, we are halfway through our ceremony… and I just made myself sad. Here is our next guest, he came to us through Scott Keith’s Blog of Doom, and how lucky are we to call him someone we know. Please welcome Jamie!

Jamie: Thank you for that warm welcome, WMD. I am here tonight to introduce a montage featuring those who were nominated for the Hall of Fame tonight, but didn’t quite get enough votes… okay, so there was only one this time around. Let’s take a quick look at the career of the “British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith, and perhaps we will give him a second look later on.

We are treated to a touching video package for the British Bulldog. Many of the shots include Bret Hart, Owen Hart, and the Dynamite Kid.

WMD: (wipes a tear from his eye) That was beautiful. Our next presenter is a one of a kind. He was an outstanding DWB World Champion and had some damn good matches against SamoaRowe. He is the enforcer of DWB and one of our most valuable members: give a big round of applause to Mad Dog!

MD: Tonight is a special night, because we are inducting a man who is arguably the most popular professional wrestler who ever lived. If you ask a non-fan about wrestlers they have heard of, you are likely to get an answer of Hulk Hogan… and Andre the Giant. Andre the Giant was not the greatest worker of all time, but was very good for a man of his size for many years. And later in his life, even when he could hardly move, he main evented the most famous wrestling event of all time: WrestleMania III. At WrestleMania III, Andre became a true immortal in our sport when he allowed Hogan to bodyslam him. Andre was loved by all, and he is sorely missed today.

We are treated to a video package of Andre in his prime. He is raw, powerful, and ruthless as he tosses opponents out of the ring. The package covers Andre’s career in the WWF, with the closing shot Andre turning on Bobby Heenan at WrestleMania VI.

WMD: Wow… we only have four to go… thank God. On a side note, special thanks to Scrooge McSuck for allowing my band members to eat out of his fridge. (Scrooge suddenly bolts upstairs to try and end the buffet). Okay, now it is time for the presenter of the evening. Seriously, Da Wrestling Board would be NOTHING without this man. He is an inspiration and a God among men… I am talking about none other than… me. I am here not only to MC, but to induct one of the greatest workers of all time. This legend was a huge part of the Four Horseman in WCW. He is a legendary tag team competitor and delivered the best spinebuster any of us have ever seen. I am talking about none other than Arn Anderson! In place of a video package, I will deliver a spinebuster to a jobber.

El Guapo dances in and poses. Everyone in the audience is majorly confused.

WMD: See, if El Guapo is here too, then it proves that I cannot be him! Now stand back and let me give this jobber a spinebuster.

WMD delivers a perfect spinebuster on El Guapo. DK comes up and tosses this assumed imposter out of the building, where he lands on MerlinWater and Wrestlevessel, who were planning a board of their own, one that would be way better than that stupid DWB board.

WMD: Wow, this show has become controversial! I bet none of you expected that.

Choate: I did!

WMD: … Anyways, our next presenter is the brain child of the DWB Hall of Fame. One day he was bored and decided he wanted to copy a HOF format he had found at another wrestling site and set forth to nominating Bruno Sammartino. Tonight, he is our humble guest, having survived the booby traps that Scrooge had set up for him in the yard. I give you, Ernie Rowe!

Rowe: Hey, it’s wonderful to be here! Seriously, I never knew that my day dreaming could lead to having such a wonderful impact on so many lives. I mean, I stand here about a dozen people and just feel a great surge of pride. Tonight I am here to induct a genuine legend of wrestling. This man wrestled all over the world, held championships everywhere he wrestled, and was a world class worker to top it all off. I am talking about the late, great Eddie Guerrero. You see, back when I was an innocent little mark who had never visited a wrestling website other than WWF.com, I was very much sucked into the stories that were presented to me on television. However, there were some performers who not only entertained me, but challenged me as well. Eddie Guerrero was one of those performers. Even when I later became a cold, cynical smark, Eddie could make me forget that what I was watching was staged, with predetermined endings. I could forget that I was watching acting. Eddie was such a convincing performer that I wanted to cheer as loudly as I could for his victories, and how my heart would be broken when he suffered losses. I will never forget Eddie Guerrero and it is my honor to induct him into the DWB Hall of Fame. Thank you.

WMD: Well, this show has been complete and utter shit and it’s not over yet! How cool is that! Our last two presenters are kings among kings in the Internet Wrestling Community. They make the big decisions at Da Wrestling Board, like to unfairly ban El Guapo. Political comments aside, they are true icons. Here to induct our final two legends of the night, I give you the Admin of DWB: Real F’n Show and Dynamite Kido!

RFS: That was some quality ass-kissing, WMD… I won’t forget it. If I decide that The Flame Wars needs a moderator, I’ll go straight to you, buddy. Back on subject, I’m here to induct a man who was told he was too “small” to be a big heel draw. He overcame the odds and became an icon of our sport. With his classic “Piper’s Pit” segments, Rowdy Roddy Piper was arguably the hottest heel of the 1980’s and became a mainstream celebrity. Piper starred in quality films, like Hell Comes to Frog Town and a bunch of other crap. Piper had a legendary feud with Hulk Hogan, but will probably be remembered best for cracking a coconut over the head of Jimmy Snuka. Roddy Piper should have been inducted in the Hall of Fame sooner, but better late than never. For that, I’ll allow Rowe to live for another week.

DK: And finally, I’m here to induct “The Hitman.” Bret Hart was honored to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, but this just blows that away, especially since our Hall of Fame doesn’t include Pete Rose. Bret Hart always said he was the best there was, the best there is, and the best there ever would be. That might sound like an arrogant thing to say, but Bret backed those comments up every night in the ring. Hart was an athlete who could bring his opponents up to his level and make them look good. Hell, Bret even had great matches with Diesel and the Undertaker, how many wrestlers can say that? Bret was a true company man while he was with the WWF and did the best he could in WCW. Bret was forced into retirement when he took a botched kick to the head from the always safe Bill Goldberg. Now Bret can look back on a career that he can be proud of. He never caused injury to another wrestler, and that in itself is an accomplishment. I mean, even Chris Benoit broke Sabu’s neck and he’s God-like in his own right! Bret Hart belongs in the Hall of Fame, and I am thrilled to be the one who got to induct him.

WMD: And that’s a show! I hope all 12 of you enjoyed this tonight, maybe we’ll do this again around Summerslam… or next year. We’ll have to see what kind of mood Rowe is in, I guess. Good night everyone!

Totally awesome. Fun read the whole time. :)

:lol: I find my brief cameo hilarious.

Really well done, Rowe. How long did that take you?

I'm impressed with how Rowe managed to channel our characters so well by himself... and what was with all the jokes on me?!

This gives me an idea... DWB's 1st Reality Series: Scrooge on Scrooge! Coming to a DWB Folder Sometime in the Near Future.

My personality is "I did?"


Oh... :(

Hey...those seven years of fake college was hard, man. I'd like to see you pretend to go to college for that long!

You have no personality... and your brief cameo was one of the best moments, other than my speech, running jokes about me, and the beating up of dumbass' and gimmicks.

Great, now everyone knows that I'm the real El Guapo. Thanks a lot!

Actually, that was going to be the pay-off to the Guapo segment, but then something distracted me :P

I'm glad you guys are liking this so far, it took me about an hour to write :)

You should've pulled off your El Guapo mask and siad, "IT WAS ME AUSTIN! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!"

Well, I may have no personality, but....you suck!

And this whole thing really was terrific.

I should've had a bigger role. After all, I am the most electrifying poster in DWB entertainment today.

It was a great read.

Ironically, when I worked at Cracker Barrell some of the hispanic chicks that worked in the back called me El Guapo. But that's because I ran around saying %1000 GUAPO!!! while pointing at myself

I think you're more like Hogan- the most visible, the biggest draw, but the most disappointing performer.

I don't know if that's an insult or a compliment for Scrooge

I was going for backhanded compliment.

I don't need to work, brother. I put DWB on the map dude, and you bunch of jabroni's would be nothing without the Scroogster! (opens palm) This is where the power lies!

But then Scrooge will just start calling himself a "draw".

Scroogein' don't make the world go 'round!

You named your schlong "the power?"

Yes. What's it to you? DON'T MAKE ME TURN THE SUBJECT INTO A KANE LOVEFEST!!!

or a self lovefest.

EWWWWWW....

C'mon, Swigg. That's not right.



We know Scrooge can't even get love from himself.

Poor man can't even get love from his mom.


Wait... that...

Oh man......

That does it... I'm bad mouthing you in my review of Savage/Sherri vs. Dusty/Sapphire.

That's harsh, man.

You brought it upon yourself. Now I'm going to hold you down for threatening to steal my spot, brother...


Then I'm gonna have Kane have his way with you. ;)

You're bluffing. You'd be way too jealous if Kane did that.

No I wouldn't. I'd join in eventually.

And with one more kudos to Rowe, I'm fleeing this thread now.

Yet another masturbation joke

That wasn't my intention.

Holy Crap Rowe has alot of time on his hands.

But it was cool, and fun to read.

Good read there Rowe................but why was everyone inducted? I thought that's why we did the poll....

Everyone but Davey Boy Smith got 70% of the votes. I was considering changing it to just the top vote getters, but I didn't want to change the rules at the last moment. I'm okay with it though, I think our HOF got a lot of much needed inductions that otherwise would have taken a long time to do :)


And I kind of did have some time on my hands last night. I was caught up with school (ie, nothing was due today) and I didn't have to work.

Far and away the best thing ever written on this board. Several big laughs from me.

However, Swigg stole the thread with his post about "The Power".

If we were to have a classic thread folder, I'd want this in there.

Then again, the last half of the thread is mostly about masturbation, so maybe not

Half of our threads here turn into that, anyways.

We should have a Thread Hall of Fame. Off the top of my head, we could induct this and the first thread where Scrooge talked about the barbie doll.

Hey, I got to induct Corny. Cool, because I was actually working on doing a "Lawrence Cornette, Jim's second cousin, once removed" gimmick when I was trying to get into local rasslin' for all of one week in late 2001. Instead of a tennis racket, I had a ping-pong paddle. And one of those t-shirts with a tux on it.

I was waiting for El Guapo and Wrestlevessel to brawl through the basement, like Harley Race and Duggan at the Slammies.

BTW, when you guys come to your senses and induct Warrior, I call dibs!

You should have inducted him into the Hall of Shame.