So MTV's fed inspired me to do this. So here's the deal this fed is for every big drug addict and bridge burner that wrestling has seen. So suggest names and I'll get it going. Will be signed:

Vampiro
Juventud Guerrera
Teddy Hart
2 Cold Scorpio
Scott Hall
The SAT
Ultimate Warrior
Marty Jannetty
Marcus Bagwell
Dan Maff
Virgil
Ahmed Johnson
Erik Watts
Lex Luger
Honky Tonk Man
Tadao Yasuda
Brian Lawler
New Jack
Brutus Beefcake
Jimmy Snuka
Shaggy 2 Dope
Violent J
Johnny B. Badd
Bill Dundee
Kevin Sullivan
David Flair
Gillberg
Giant Gonzalez
Justin Credible
Hector Garza
Dustin Rhodes
Scott Putski
Evan Karagias
Scrooge McSuck
Koko B. Ware
Johnny Grunge
Matt Morgan
Pierre Carl Oulette
Kid Romeo
Tiger Ali Singh
Shawn Stasiak
Brad Armstrong
Greg Valentine
The Boogeyman
Bob Orton
Viscera
Kid Kash
Gary Hart
Bill Irwin
Maxx Payne


I'll add to the list as I go.

The Warrior (bridge burner)
Marty Jannetty (drugs)
Buff Bagwell (Both. I'm addicted to crack!)

I'll sign Jake Roberts if he's in the game.

All have been signed. I need 34 more workers to fill out the roster.

Everyone's pissed at me already as they all hate each other.

Fucking hilarious. :lol:

I'm updating the roster listed on the first post as I go along. Though I'm going to bed in a few minutes.

Virgil is a bridge burning drug addict? I never knew that. :(

No, he was in for the sheer suck factor.

XSW probably presents that the Ultimate Warrior will face Lex Luger in an Ironman Match to crown the first XSW Heavyweight Champion.

(screams in terror) Put the women and children to bed!

The titles that will find their way to XSW:

Heavyweight Title
O-40 Openweight Title O-40 stands for over 40 in case you were wondering.
Eight Ball of Coke #1 Contenders Trophy
Tag Team Titles
Cancelled Television Title

Still need at least another 21 workers for my fed.

Uh... Road Warrior Animal is old and sucky. Jake Roberts is the biggest drug abuser this side of a Rockers coke binge. Can't go wrong with either of the Rottens.

This signing is so huge that it requires it's own post.

Giant Gonzalez has been signed to a contract as a non-wrestler.

I don't think you can get anyone even more terrible in the ring...

And that reminds me, there's an El Gigante/Great Muta match on YouTube. CROSS PROMOTING TOPICS RULES!

Did Rodney Mack cause any trouble that would make him a possible hire?

Not that I can think of, but he was associated for John Cena for a week, so fuck him. :D

Scrooge McSuck.

I'll find a nice crappy wrestler and change his name.

I found a guy with all zeroes to rename as Scrooge.

Ok, that's the roster for the start. I'll add guys as I need to.

Well 1 day and my roster has yet to disappoint:

The SAT vs Insane Clown Posse.

Match Background: Joel is making his debut at this show. Jose is making his debut at this show. 2 Dope is making his debut at this show. Violent J is making his debut at this show.

The Match: Violent J hits a piledriver on Joel Maximo. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Joel tags out to Jose Maximo. Jose gets splashed in the corner. Violent J tags out to Shaggy 2 Dope. Badly executed second rope splash by 2 Dope. Tag to Joel Maximo. 2 Dope tries to channel the power of Kawada, but ends up channeling the power of Trish Stratus instead by hitting a high kick on Joel Maximo. Swan dive headbutt from 2 Dope but without much elevation on the move. Joel Maximo is in big trouble...Dark Carnival Death Drop!! 1....2....3!

My Opinion: All you deserve for this is *. That DOESN'T mean that you're a deputy or a cop or whatever.


Koko B. Ware is walking backstage when he is spotted by Giant Gonzales, who attacks. They brawl around the arena for a while, until Giant Gonzales gets a clear upper hand and sends Koko into retreat.


2 Cold Scorpio vs Teddy Hart.

Match Background: Scorpio is making his debut at this show. T. Hart is making his debut at this show.

The Match: Implant DDT by Teddy Hart! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Spinning bulldog in the corner and Scorpio is down! Hooks the leg for a two count. T. Hart charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Spinning back kick from 2 Cold Scorpio. 2 Cold Scorpio hits a rolling kick on T. Hart. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Covers for a quick two count. DDT from the top rope by 2 Cold Scorpio. That looked KILLER. Pin, but T. Hart is out just before the three count. T. Hart takes a flying neckbreaker from 2 Cold Scorpio. Teddy Hart comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Flying reverse elbow by Teddy Hart. There's a two count on the pin. Scorpio walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Spin kick by Teddy Hart to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Teddy Hart strikes Scorpio. 2 Cold Scorpio pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. T. Hart takes a flying neckbreaker from 2 Cold Scorpio. Diamond Dust from 2 Cold Scorpio and T. Hart is out! Teddy Hart gets knocked to the ground by Scorpio, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Off the top - Scorpio Splash, forget about it. 1....2...3!

My Opinion: Bad match which brought absolutely nothing to the table and was a waste of time. DUD.


Dustin Rhodes is backstage. He got on THE STICK~! and put himself over, talking about how great he is. I wonder if he's a mark for himself.


Gillberg vs Vampiro.

Match Background: Gillberg is making his debut at this show. Vampiro is making his debut at this show.

The Match: Vampiro takes a couple of weak clotheslines. BRUTAL forearm by Gillberg, the operative word being brutal. Hooks the leg for a two count. Vampiro ducks a wild right hand. Gillberg is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. BAAACK Body drop by Gillberg gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. There's a two count on the pin. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Vampiro just KILLS Gillberg! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. BIG clothesline on Gillberg. Vampiro charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Gillberg suplexes Vampiro badly. Hooks the leg for a two count. Chin crusher by Gillberg, the execution wasn't great though. I'd like to see a good Chin Crusher, that just sounds devastating. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Gillberg snap suplexes Vampiro HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Gillberg is now a bonifide HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Gillberg punches away at Vampiro only to get the tides turned quickly. Vampiro counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Vampiro with a spinning neckbreaker on Gillberg. Spear! Gillberg is down! Vampiro moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Nail In The Coffin. 1....2...3, it's finished.

My Opinion: One SOLE bright spot in this match keeps it from going into DUD territory. 1/4*.


Erik Watts is backstage. He hyped himself up on THE STICK~!, talking about what he was going to do...and soon.


Honky Tonk Man vs Johnny B. Badd.

Match Background: HTM is making his debut at this show. Badd is making his debut at this show.

The Match: Johnny B. Badd kicks the leg, knocks HTM down, and goes to work on it. HTM is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Implant DDT by Johnny B. Badd! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Flying elbow from Johnny B. Badd connects. Honky Tonk Man powers out of a Johnny B. Badd headlock. Johnny B. Badd takes a right hand to the temple from HTM. Honky Tonk Man hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Covers for a quick two count. Badd blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Spinning bulldog in the corner and HTM is down! There's a two count on the pin. Vicious kick to the teeth from Johnny B. Badd. Pin, but HTM is out just before the three count. Honky Tonk Man comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Badd hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Johnny B. Badd reverses a hip toss. Badd uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Honky Tonk Man is in trouble. Here it comes - Tutti Frutti. 1....2...3, it's finished.

My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -*


Evan Karagias is backstage. He got on THE STICK~! and spent the interview putting himself over.


10 Man Battle Royal.

Match Background: This match is for the Eight Ball of Coke title.

The Match: A weak headbutt on Jack by Roberts causes nothing but pain for both. New Jack got tossed over the top rope to the floor HARD by Roberts. (Elimination # 1) Marty Jannetty uses a running dropkick into the corner. That was just...ugh. Jannetty went for the elimination, but Jake Roberts held on to the ropes at the last possible second! Flying shoulder tackle by Hall sends Jimmy Snuk CRASHING to the mat. Jimmy Snuka got eliminated by Hall. (Elimination # 2) Valentine takes a flying neckbreaker from Brian Lawler. Brian Lawler connects with a back heel kick on Valentine and gets back up quickly. Spinning back kick from Brian Lawler. B. Lawler threw Johnny Grunge all the way over the top rope to the floor. No question about that one. (Elimination # 3) A weak headbutt on B. Lawler by Beefcake causes nothing but pain for both. Brian Lawler was eliminated by Beefcake. (Elimination # 4) Roberts strikes away at Marty Jannetty, not doing much damage at all. Roberts threw Marty Jannetty all the way over the top rope to the floor. No question about that one. (Elimination # 5) BIG clothesline on Beefcake. Hall tried to eliminate Brutus Beefcake, who hung onto the top rope for dear life! Running knee lift from Scott Hall. Scott Hall hits some punches. How generic. Jake Roberts hits a right hand on Greg Valentine and follows it up with a couple more. Flapjack from Roberts on Valentine. Koko B. Ware strikes Beefcake. Koko tried to eliminate Brutus Beefcake, who hung onto the top rope for dear life! Valentine uses a neckbreaker on Koko. A powerslam so weak, my grandmother could have performed it, is actually pulled off by Valentine on Koko. A kick from Koko is delivered to the leg. Koko tried to eliminate Brutus Beefcake, who hung onto the top rope for dear life! Wack kick from Roberts. Scott Hall got bundled out by Roberts. (Elimination # 6) Jake Roberts hits a right hand on Brutus Beefcake and follows it up with a couple more. Roberts DDTs Brutus Beefcake. Weak kick from Valentine. I am unpleased. Koko B. Ware got eliminated by Valentine. (Elimination # 7) Jake Roberts with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Valentine. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Greg Valentine was eliminated by Roberts. (Elimination # 8) Beefcake hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Roberts slams Brutus Beefcake down. Beefcake is sure in trouble now. Brutus Beefcake is in trouble. DDT!!! That shook the ring. Roberts threw Brutus Beefcake all the way over the top rope to the floor. No question about that one.

My Opinion: -*. That's right. NEGATIVE ONE STAR. That's what you get for this CRAP.


New Jack is backstage. He got on THE STICK~! and spent the interview putting himself over.


Lex Luger vs Ultimate Warrior.

Match Background: This will be an iron man bout. Luger is making his debut at this show. Warrior is making his debut at this show. This match is for the Heavyweight title.

The Match: FIRST FALL: Ultimate Warrior takes a right hand to the temple from Luger. Weak bodyslam by Luger. There's a two count on the pin. Ultimate Warrior avoids a Lex Luger avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Luger hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Ultimate Warrior strikes Lex Luger with a hard blow. Covers for a quick two count. Sloppy discus punch from Ultimate Warrior barely connects on Luger. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Lex Luger takes a right hand to the temple from Warrior. Luger reverses a waistlock. Weak bodyslam by Luger. There's a two count on the pin. Luger DDTs Ultimate Warrior. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Luger slams Ultimate Warrior down. Warrior is sure in trouble now. Lex Luger hits Warrior. Warrior counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Warrior slams Lex Luger down. Luger is sure in trouble now. Ultimate Warrior turns Luger inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. The ref gets into position, administers the three count, and it's over. Ultimate Warrior pins Luger. SECOND FALL: Luger receives some punishment by Ultimate Warrior but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Ultimate Warrior hits a right hand on Lex Luger and follows it up with a couple more. Lex Luger takes a right hand to the temple from Warrior. Lex Luger takes a right hand to the temple from Warrior. Luger flips out of a Ultimate Warrior bodyslam attempt. Lex Luger strikes Ultimate Warrior with a hard blow. Lex Luger hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. There's a two count on the pin. Warrior counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Ultimate Warrior DDTs Luger, but it just looked terrible. There's a two count on the pin. Flapjack from Warrior on Luger. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Luger reverses a waistlock. Big clothesline from Luger. The ref gets into position, administers the three count, and it's over. Lex Luger pins Warrior. THIRD FALL: Luger hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Luger kicks Ultimate Warrior in the gut to reverse the momentum. Warrior hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Sloppy discus punch from Lex Luger barely connects on Warrior. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! Warrior reverses a Lex Luger hammerlock. Luger takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Ultimate Warrior hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. There's a two count on the pin. Flapjack from Warrior on Luger. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Luger counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Lex Luger hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Ultimate Warrior avoids a Lex Luger avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Lex Luger gets knocked to the ground by Warrior. Gorilla Press! 1....2....3. END OF BOUT.

My Opinion: -*. That's right. NEGATIVE ONE STAR. That's what you get for this CRAP.

That's hilarious.

Yeah, it's like a look into the future.

THE FUCK?

Suck-A-Palooza PPV:

Bob Orton vs Brad Armstrong.

Match Background: B. Orton is making his debut at this show. Brad is making his debut at this show.

The Match: Bob Orton strikes Brad Armstrong. B. Orton slams Brad Armstrong down. Brad is sure in trouble now. Bob Orton hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. B. Orton DDTs Brad Armstrong. Brad Armstrong is in trouble. Piledriver!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!!

My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -*


Giant Gonzales, The Boogeyman, and Tiger Ali Singh vs Gillberg, Jimmy Snuka, and Koko B. Ware.

Match Background: Boogeyman is making his debut at this show. Ali Singh is making his debut at this show.

The Match: Koko takes a weak kick. Giant Gonzales strikes Koko B. Ware. Tag between Giant Gonzales and Tiger Ali Singh. Tiger Ali Singh with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Koko. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Tiger Ali Singh hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between Tiger Ali Singh and The Boogeyman. Tiger Ali Singh scoops up Koko. Boogeyman bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Koko gets splashed in the corner. Koko B. Ware avoids a The Boogeyman avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Boogeyman takes a hard, stinging chop from Koko. One word: Ow. Tag to Gillberg. Boogeyman takes a vertical suplex from Gillberg. Gillberg hits a badly done swinging DDT on The Boogeyman. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Boogeyman takes a couple of weak clotheslines. Tag between Gillberg and Jimmy Snuka. Jimmy Snuk hits a short arm drag on Boogeyman. Jimmy Snuk hits a soaring kick on Boogeyman. Jimmy Snuk charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Tag to Giant Gonzales. A powerslam so weak, my grandmother could have performed it, is actually pulled off by Gonzales on Jimmy Snuk. Tag to Koko B. Ware. Gonzales takes a chop from Koko. Koko charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Giant Gonzales has Koko B. Ware down on the canvas. Koko B. Ware gets locked in the Chokelift! Submission victory!

My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this.


Dustin Rhodes vs Dan Maff.

Match Background: Maff is making his debut at this show.

The Match: Maff gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. BAAACK Body drop by Maff gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Nice piledriver on Maff. Powerbomb on Maff. Dustin Rhodes moves in for the kill. Bulldog!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!!

My Opinion: *1\2 rating. Hey, you wanted to make it harder on yourself, right?


Marty Jannetty vs Teddy Hart.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Flying elbow from Marty Jannetty, grazing the target slightly. Jannetty tries to channel the power of Kawada, but ends up channeling the power of Trish Stratus instead by hitting a high kick on Teddy Hart. Covers for a quick two count. T. Hart backdrops Marty Jannetty out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Teddy Hart. Spinning back kick from Teddy Hart. Hard back suplex on Jannetty. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Covers for a quick two count. Vicious kick to the teeth from Teddy Hart. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. T. Hart hits a dropkick on Marty Jannetty and gets right back up. Jannetty counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Jannetty tries to channel the power of Kawada, but ends up channeling the power of Trish Stratus instead by hitting a high kick on Teddy Hart. Hooks the leg for a two count. Marty Jannetty with an enziguri! HBK isn't moving...uh oh. Oh, sorry, I had a flashback to the last time I got fooled. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Jannetty hits a spinning back kick. All those spinning kicks look alike, don't they. A kick from Jannetty is delivered to the leg. T. Hart reverses a Marty Jannetty hammerlock. Second rope flying axe handle, Jannetty goes down. One day, T. Hart might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Back heel kick off the second rope, Jannetty goes down. Teddy Hart floors Marty Jannetty...and climbs the turnbuckles. Through the air, Hart Attack! 1....2....3.

My Opinion: I'll give a 3/4 star rating, but only if you promise to improve as a booker.


Insane Clown Posse vs Rhythm and Blues.

Match Background: Rhythm and Blues used to be a regular team, but have been inactive for a while. Whether this match will lead to a reformation as an active unit remains to be seen. This match is for the Tag Team titles.

The Match: Violent J hits Valentine. Weak bodyslam on Valentine by Violent J sets up a legdrop. Covers for a quick two count. Violent J tags out to Shaggy 2 Dope. Insane Clown Posse hook up Valentine, then hit a double suplex. Covers for a quick two count. 2 Dope hits a soaring kick on Valentine. Valentine counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Greg Valentine DDTs 2 Dope in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Shaggy 2 Dope's head didn't touch the mat at all. There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Honky Tonk Man. Honky Tonk Man hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! 2 Dope takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Shaggy 2 Dope is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. HTM takes a hard, stinging chop from 2 Dope. One word: Ow. Tag to Violent J. Wack kick from Violent J. HTM tags out to Greg Valentine. Big kick from Violent J staggers Valentine but that's about it. Insane Clown Posse have Greg Valentine to themselves. Dark Carnival Death Drop! 1....2....3! It's over.

My Opinion: Bad match which brought absolutely nothing to the table and was a waste of time. DUD.


Jake Roberts vs Johnny B. Badd.

Match Background: This match is for the Eight Ball of Coke title. Jake Roberts has been Eight Ball of Coke champion since 02 March 2006.

The Match: Jake Roberts hits Badd. Badd ducks a wild right hand. Roberts takes a headbutt from Johnny B. Badd. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Vicious kick to the teeth from Johnny B. Badd. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out! Johnny B. Badd misses a clothesline. Roberts slams Johnny B. Badd down. Badd is sure in trouble now. Big clothesline from Roberts. Covers for a quick two count. Jake Roberts turns Badd inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Badd blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Roberts takes a NICE hurrancarana from Johnny B. Badd. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Roberts kicks Johnny B. Badd in the gut to reverse the momentum. Johnny B. Badd can barely stand. DDT!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!!

My Opinion: I'll give a 1\2* rating because they were actually able to hit a couple of spots.


Vampiro vs New Jack.

Match Background: This match is for the Cancelled Television title.

The Match: Vampiro connects with rights and lefts and New Jack is down! Vampiro connects with a HARD right hand, sending the opponent down to the mat again. Vampiro slams New Jack down and motions to the crowd. Fallaway slam by Vampiro puts down New Jack. Jack powers out of a headlock. Jack slams Vampiro down and motions to the crowd. Spear by New Jack. Covers for a quick two count. Vampiro elbows New Jack in the face to break a hammerlock. Vampiro hits a piledriver on New Jack. That used to end matches, you know. There's a two count on the pin. Vampiro scores with a standing spinebuster. Pin, but Jack is out just before the three count. Jack counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Vampiro takes a headbutt from New Jack. Vampiro fights out of a grapple. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on New Jack by Vampiro. Remember when that was a legit finish? Vampiro moves in for the kill. Sambo Suplex!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!!

My Opinion: Nothing special...nothing special at all. *1/4


Lex Luger vs Pierre Carl Ouelette.

Match Background: PCO is making his debut at this show.

The Match: Flying elbow from Pierre Carl Ouelette, grazing the target slightly. Massive backbreaker on Luger and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. There's a two count on the pin. Luger kicks Pierre Carl Ouelette in the gut to reverse the momentum. A weak headbutt on PCO by Luger causes nothing but pain for both. PCO gets splashed in the corner. There's a two count on the pin. Sloppy discus punch from Lex Luger barely connects on PCO. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Pierre Carl Ouelette takes a right hand to the temple from Luger. Luger walks into a drop toe hold. Spear by Pierre Carl Ouelette. There's a two count on the pin. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Pin, but Luger is out just before the three count. BIG clothesline on Luger. Luger takes a headbutt from Pierre Carl Ouelette. Lex Luger fights out of a grapple. Weak bodyslam on PCO by Luger sets up a legdrop. Lex Luger turns PCO inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Pierre Carl Ouelette gets knocked to the ground by Luger. Pierre Carl Ouelette gets locked in the Torture Rack! Submission victory!

My Opinion: Not good enough to earn an entire star. 3/4* for you.


Ultimate Warrior vs Marcus Bagwell.

Match Background: Marcus is making his debut at this show. This match is for the Heavyweight title. Ultimate Warrior has been Heavyweight champion since 02 March 2006.

The Match: Ultimate Warrior hits a right hand on Marcus Bagwell and follows it up with a couple more. Ultimate Warrior hits a right hand on Marcus Bagwell and follows it up with a couple more. Big kick from Warrior staggers Marcus but that's about it. Marcus takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Warrior drops an elbow...but Marcus Bagwell moves out of the way. Fallaway slam by Marcus Bagwell puts down Ultimate Warrior. Marcus Bagwell hits a bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Marcus Bagwell gets taken down out of nowhere! Powerslam from Ultimate Warrior on Marcus. There's a two count on the pin. Ultimate Warrior turns Marcus inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Pin, but Marcus is out just before the three count. Marcus counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Marcus Bagwell hits some punches. How generic. Ultimate Warrior powers out of a Marcus Bagwell headlock. Running clothesline from Ultimate Warrior was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Marcus Bagwell can barely stand. Here it comes - Running Lariat. 1....2...3, it's finished.

My Opinion: DUD. That's about all I can say without getting into obsenities.

This is great stuff....but I'm afraid you're actually going to go stark raving mad by the end of this.

WrestleSuck:

The Boogeyman vs Tadao Yasuda.

Match Background: Yasuda is making his debut at this show.

The Match: Vertical suplex by Tadao Yasuda. Doctor Bomb connects and Boogeyman landed hard. There's a two count on the pin. The Boogeyman powers out of a Tadao Yasuda headlock. Yasuda hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Boogeyman slams Tadao Yasuda down. Yasuda is sure in trouble now. Hooks the leg for a two count. The Boogeyman turns Yasuda inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Yasuda gets splashed in the corner. Tadao Yasuda avoids a The Boogeyman avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Reverse DDT on Boogeyman. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tadao Yasuda plants Boogeyman with an EXPLODAH~! suplex. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Boogeyman gets caught with a short powerbomb from Yasuda. Boogeyman gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Yasuda! The Boogeyman comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Weak bodyslam on Yasuda by Boogeyman sets up a legdrop. Sloppy discus punch from The Boogeyman barely connects on Yasuda. Tadao Yasuda is in trouble. Here it comes - Tough Enough Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished.

My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it.


Kevin Sullivan is backstage. He got on THE STICK~! and spent the interview putting himself over.


Bob Orton vs Johnny B. Badd.

Match Background: This match is for the O-40 Openweight title.

The Match: Bob Orton hits Badd. Badd ducks a wild right hand. STIFF high kick on B. Orton by Johnny B. Badd. B. Orton reverses an irish whip...and Johnny B. Badd runs into the referee! Back heel kick off the second rope, B. Orton goes down. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! B. Orton counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Badd takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. B. Orton hits a piledriver on Johnny B. Badd. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. There's a two count on the pin. Bob Orton scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Johnny B. Badd comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Badd crushes B. Orton with a huge legdrop. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Bob Orton once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Johnny B. Badd is in trouble. Here it comes - Piledriver. 1....2...3, it's finished.

My Opinion: I'll give a 1\2* rating because they were actually able to hit a couple of spots.


Honky Tonk Man is backstage. He got on THE STICK~! and put himself over, talking about how great he is. I wonder if he's a mark for himself.


Brian Lawler vs Teddy Hart.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Standing leg lariat by Teddy Hart on B. Lawler. STIFF high kick on B. Lawler by Teddy Hart. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Hard back suplex on B. Lawler. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Brian Lawler fights out of a grapple. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Flying reverse elbow by Brian Lawler. Hooks the leg for a two count. T. Hart counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Spinning bulldog in the corner and B. Lawler is down! Hooks the leg for a two count. DDT from the top rope by Teddy Hart. That looked KILLER. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. T. Hart charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. B. Lawler hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. T. Hart powers out of a headlock. Hard back suplex on B. Lawler. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Teddy Hart floors Brian Lawler...and climbs the turnbuckles. Through the air, Hart Attack! 1....2....3.

My Opinion: One SOLE bright spot in this match keeps it from going into DUD territory. 1/4*.


Evan Karagias is backstage. He got on THE STICK~! and put himself over, talking about how great he is. I wonder if he's a mark for himself.


Marty Jannetty vs Viscera.

Match Background: Viscera is making his debut at this show.

The Match: Viscera connects with some weak punches on Marty Jannetty. Jannetty backdrops Viscera out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Marty Jannetty. Viscera gets hip tossed by Jannetty. Viscera charges, Jannetty moves, and the referee is knocked silly! Swan dive headbutt from Jannetty but without much elevation on the move. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! Viscera elbows Marty Jannetty in the face to break a hammerlock. Boring brawling from Viscera is the cure for insomnia. Viscera hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Sloppy discus punch from Viscera barely connects on Jannetty. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Marty Jannetty is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Badly executed second rope splash by Jannetty. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Viscera counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Viscera has Marty Jannetty down on the canvas. Big Splash!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over.

My Opinion: -*. That's right. NEGATIVE ONE STAR. That's what you get for this CRAP.


Johnny B. Badd is backstage. He hyped himself up on THE STICK~!, talking about what he was going to do...and soon.


Juventud Guerrera vs Kid Kash.

Match Background: Juvi is making his debut at this show. Kash is making his debut at this show.

The Match: Kash walks into a high dropkick from Juventud Guerrera, almost losing several teeth in the process. Kash walks into a high dropkick from Juventud Guerrera, almost losing several teeth in the process. Flying elbow from Juventud Guerrera connects. Juventud Guerrera hits a rolling kick on Kash. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Kash reverses a Juventud Guerrera hammerlock. Spin kick by Kid Kash to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Kash crushes Juvi with a huge legdrop. Covers for a quick two count. Juventud Guerrera once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Lightning kick by Juvi on Kash. Covers for a quick two count. DDT from the top rope by Juventud Guerrera. That looked KILLER! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Kash blocks a punch. Kid Kash connects with a back heel kick on Juvi and gets back up quickly. Kash walks into a drop toe hold. Juvi hits a dropkick on Kid Kash and gets right back up. Juventud Guerrera moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Juvi Driver. 1....2...3, it's finished.

My Opinion: Solid bout, but they could do a lot better. ***


Dustin Rhodes is backstage. He got on THE STICK~! and put himself over, talking about how great he is. I wonder if he's a mark for himself.


Totally Buffed vs Dustin Rhodes and Scott Hall.

Match Background: None.

The Match: STIFF~! chop lights up Luger who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Bodyslam by Dustin. Covers for a quick two count. Tag to Scott Hall. Dustin \ Hall whip Luger into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. There's a two count on the pin. Flying shoulder tackle by Hall sends Luger CRASHING to the mat. Lex Luger is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Lex Luger hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Covers for a quick two count. Luger tags out to Marcus Bagwell. Marcus Bagwell hits a bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Fallaway slam by Marcus Bagwell puts down Scott Hall. Hall kicks Marcus Bagwell in the gut to reverse the momentum. Bodyslam by Hall. Tag between Scott Hall and Dustin Rhodes. STIFF~! chop lights up Marcus who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Marcus tags out to Lex Luger. BIG clothesline on Luger. Dustin Rhodes moves in for the kill. Bulldog! 1....2....3.

My Opinion: It was close to a ** match, but I just can't stand too many blown spots. *3/4

The current tag team division right now:

II Cool In The 90s - Brian Lawler and Johnny B. Badd
Beings From Another Planet - Pierre Carl Oulette and Shawn Stasiak
Insane Clown Posse
J.O.B. Squad - Brad Armstrong and Gillberg
NWA Next Generation - David Flair and Erik Watts
Public Enemy V2.0 - Justin Credible and Johnny Grunge
Rhythm and Blues
The SAT
Totally Buffed - Lex Luger and Marcus Bagwell
Towering Nightmare - Ahmed Johnson and Viscera

WrestleSuck:

J.O.B. Squad vs Towering Nightmare.

Match Background: Ahmed is making his debut at this show. Brad and Gillberg are teaming up as J.O.B. Squad for the first time tonight. Ahmed and Viscera are teaming up as Towering Nightmare for the first time tonight.

The Match: Ahmed Johnson hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Tag between Brad Armstrong and Gillberg. Gillberg gets splashed in the corner. Ahmed tags out to Viscera. Messed up bodyslam by Viscera almost kills Gillberg. Tag between Gillberg and Brad Armstrong. BIG clothesline from Viscera. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! Flapjack from Viscera on Brad. Brad Armstrong is all alone...Earthquake!! 1....2....3!

My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it.


Scott Hall is backstage. He was on Hype Central (HYPE CENTRAL!!!) tonight, this time for a match with Bob Orton. Can you believe that I just marked out for Lance Wright? How many people even remember that guy?


Juventud Guerrera vs Kid Kash vs Evan Karagias vs Marty Jannetty.

Match Background: This will be an elimination bout. This match is for the Will Never Be World Champion title.

The Match: Flying elbow from Marty Jannetty, grazing the target slightly. A kick from Jannetty is delivered to the leg. Hooks the leg for a two count. Jannetty tags out to Evan Karagias. Flying elbow from Evan Karagias connects. Back heel kick off the second rope, Kash goes down. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Tag to Juventud Guerrera. Juvi uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Tag to Marty Jannetty. Forearm to the face from Jannetty on Juvi. Juvi pushes out of a Marty Jannetty hold. Back heel kick off the second rope, Jannetty goes down. Cover gets three for Juventud Guerrera, Jannetty got pinned. Kash uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Flying reverse elbow by Kid Kash. Covers for a quick two count. Hard back suplex on Juvi. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Tag between Juventud Guerrera and Evan Karagias. Flying elbow from Evan Karagias connects. Spin kick by Evan Karagias to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Kid Kash comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Kash hits a dropkick on Evan Karagias and gets right back up. Tiger suplex on Karagias. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, dammit. Cover gets three for Kid Kash, Karagias got pinned. SUPER frankensteiner on Juvi, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Tor-NADO DDT from Kid Kash, Juvi got planted! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Juvi counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Kid Kash is in trouble. Juvi Driver!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!!

My Opinion: A wise man once said 'Can I get a side of bland with that bland'. He's dead now, though. That's what this match was...bland. **


Kevin Sullivan is backstage. He got on THE STICK~! and spent the interview putting himself over.


Public Enemy V2.0 vs Rhythm and Blues.

Match Background: Credible is making his debut at this show. Credible and Grunge are teaming up as Public Enemy V2.0 for the first time tonight.

The Match: Johnny Grunge punches away at Greg Valentine. Johnny Grunge hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag between Johnny Grunge and Justin Credible. Public Enemy V2.0 whip Valentine into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. BIG clothesline on Valentine. Hooks the leg for a two count. Valentine takes a headbutt from Justin Credible. Greg Valentine avoids a Justin Credible avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Greg Valentine uses something that LOOKS like a reverse suplex. The judges say yes, but barely. Valentine tags out to Honky Tonk Man. Weak bodyslam on Credible by HTM sets up a legdrop. Powerslam from Honky Tonk Man on Credible. HTM goes for a splash but Credible puts the knees up. Tag to Johnny Grunge. Johnny Grunge hits a bulldog off the ropes. Flapjack from Grunge on HTM. Pin, but HTM is out just before the three count. HTM takes a weak kick. Honky Tonk Man avoids a Johnny Grunge avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Big clothesline from HTM. Johnny Grunge can barely stand. Here it comes - Shake Rattle and Roll. 1....2...3, it's finished.

My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -*


Dan Maff is backstage. He got on THE STICK~! and spent the interview putting himself over.


Hector Garza vs Kid Romeo.

Match Background: Garza is making his debut at this show. Romeo is making his debut at this show.

The Match: Standing leg lariat by Hector Garza on Romeo. Hector Garza connects with a back heel kick on Romeo and gets back up quickly. Flying elbow from Hector Garza connects. Implant DDT by Hector Garza! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Romeo backdrops Hector Garza out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Kid Romeo. Spin kick by Kid Romeo to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Romeo crushes Garza with a huge legdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Garza ducks a wild right hand. Lightning kick by Garza on Romeo. There's a two count on the pin. Romeo walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Romeo blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! STIFF high kick on Garza by Kid Romeo. Garza counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Romeo takes a flying neckbreaker from Hector Garza. Hector Garza floors Kid Romeo...and climbs the turnbuckles. Moonsault Press!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over.

My Opinion: *1\2 rating. Hey, you wanted to make it harder on yourself, right?


Gary Hart is backstage. He got on THE STICK~! and put himself over, talking about how great he is. I wonder if he's a mark for himself.


Bob Orton vs Scott Hall.

Match Background: This match is for the O-40 Openweight title. Bob Orton has been O-40 Openweight champion since 09 March 2006.

The Match: B. Orton gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. B. Orton pushes out of a Scott Hall hold. Bob Orton strikes Scott Hall. Bob Orton misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee accidentally! Flapjack from B. Orton on Hall. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out! Hall kicks Bob Orton in the gut to reverse the momentum. Hall slams Bob Orton down and motions to the crowd. Nice piledriver on B. Orton. Covers for a quick two count. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Scott Hall just KILLS Bob Orton! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! B. Orton powers out of a headlock. Bob Orton hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Scott Hall comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Bob Orton gets whipped into the corner by Hall, who charges in with a clothesline. B. Orton grabs the referee and pulls him in the way! The referee calls for the DQ as he collapses to the mat in pain. Bob Orton gets out of the ring and walks off, having taken the cheap way out.

My Opinion: I'll give a 3/4 star rating, but only if you promise to improve as a booker.


Dustin Rhodes is backstage. He hyped himself up on THE STICK~!, talking about what he was going to do...and soon.


Ultimate Warrior vs NWA Next Generation.

Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. D.Flair is making his debut at this show. Ultimate Warrior is the reigning Heavyweight champion, and has been since 02 March 2006.

The Match: David Flair takes a right hand to the temple from Warrior. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Big kick from Warrior staggers Watts but that's about it. Ultimate Warrior hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Warrior slams David Flair down. D.Flair is sure in trouble now. D.Flair blocks a kick from Ultimate Warrior. NWA Next Generation whip Warrior into the corner. David Flair whips Erik Watts in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Fallaway slam by Erik Watts puts down Ultimate Warrior. David Flair hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Erik Watts scoops up Warrior. D.Flair bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. D.Flair DDTs Ultimate Warrior. Pin, but Warrior is out just before the three count. D.Flair hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Flying shoulder tackle by Watts sends Warrior CRASHING to the mat. NWA Next Generation whip Warrior into the corner. Erik Watts whips David Flair in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Covers for a quick two count. David Flair hits a right hand on Ultimate Warrior and follows it up with a couple more. Warrior pushes out of a David Flair hold. Erik Watts misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Ultimate Warrior turns Watts inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. David Flair gets knocked to the ground by Warrior. Here it comes - Gorilla Press, forget about it. 1....2...3!

My Opinion: DUD. That's about all I can say without getting into obsenities.

WrestleSuck:

Boogeyman's Nightmare vs Brad Armstrong, Gillberg, and Tadao Yasuda.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Brad hits a short arm drag on D.Flair. Brad hits a dropkick on David Flair. Actually, it barely touched! Tag to Tadao Yasuda. Stun Gun from Tadao Yasuda! I still can't believe that was Austin's finisher at one point. Doctor Bomb connects and D.Flair landed hard. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Tadao Yasuda and Gillberg. Yasuda \ Gillberg whip D.Flair into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Gillberg uses an armbreaker to take D.Flair down and applies an armbar. There's no quit in D.Flair yet though. D.Flair blocks a kick from Gillberg. David Flair with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Gillberg. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Tag to The Boogeyman. The Boogeyman strikes Gillberg with a hard blow. The Boogeyman scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Running clothesline from The Boogeyman was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Tag to Erik Watts. Watts hits a right hand. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Gillberg by Watts. Remember when that was a legit finish? Erik Watts misses a clothesline. Gillberg tags out to Brad Armstrong. Flying elbow from Brad Armstrong, grazing the target slightly. Tag between Erik Watts and David Flair. David Flair hits a right hand on Brad Armstrong and follows it up with a couple more. David Flair hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Brad Armstrong gets knocked to the ground by D.Flair. Brad Armstrong gets locked in the Figure Four Leglock! Submission victory!

My Opinion: DUD. That's about all I can say without getting into obsenities.


Dustin Rhodes is backstage. He got on THE STICK~! and put himself over, talking about how great he is. I wonder if he's a mark for himself.


Jimmy Snuka vs Jake Roberts.

Match Background: This match is for the Eight Ball of Coke title. Jake Roberts has been Eight Ball of Coke champion since 02 March 2006.

The Match: Roberts slams Jimmy Snuka down. Jimmy Snuk is sure in trouble now. Roberts hits a piledriver on Jimmy Snuka. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. There's a two count on the pin. Jimmy Snuk ducks a wild right hand. A kick from Jimmy Snuk is delivered to the leg. Jimmy Snuk hits an arm drag on Roberts, follows it up with about 3 more and locks in an armbar for good measure. Covers for a quick two count. Jimmy Snuk face jams Jake Roberts. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Roberts takes a hard, stinging chop from Jimmy Snuk. One word: Ow. Roberts backdrops Jimmy Snuka out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Jake Roberts. Weak bodyslam by Roberts. There's a two count on the pin. Side suplex from Roberts. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Running clothesline from Jake Roberts was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Jimmy Snuka takes a right hand to the temple from Roberts. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Jimmy Snuk counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Jimmy Snuka arm drags Roberts over and locks on an armbar. Jimmy Snuka scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Jimmy Snuka floors Jake Roberts...and climbs the turnbuckles. Superfly Splash!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over.

My Opinion: When I give out 3/4*, it means that I'm being REALLY nice about it.


Gary Hart is backstage. He got on THE STICK~! and put himself over, talking about how great he is. I wonder if he's a mark for himself.


Evan Karagias vs Marty Jannetty.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Forearm to the face from Jannetty on Karagias. Forearm to the face from Jannetty on Karagias. Jannetty hits a dropkick on Evan Karagias. Actually, it barely touched! Evan Karagias takes a knee lift from Jannetty. *sigh* Running knee lifts always remind me of the late Curt Hennig. Karagias counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Hard back suplex on Jannetty. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Karagias crushes Jannetty with a huge legdrop. Covers for a quick two count. Karagias drops an elbow...but Marty Jannetty moves out of the way. Badly executed second rope splash by Jannetty. Hooks the leg for a two count. Slingshot clothesline by Jannetty, who almost messed it up by slipping on the ropes. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Jannetty drops an elbow...but Evan Karagias moves out of the way. Spinning back kick from Evan Karagias. Jannetty backdrops Evan Karagias out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Marty Jannetty. Jannetty hits a soaring kick on Karagias. Marty Jannetty moves in for the kill. Rocker Dropper!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!!

My Opinion: Well, hello there *1/4 rating, how are you?


Shawn Stasiak is backstage. He hyped himself up on THE STICK~!, talking about what he was going to do...and soon.


Juventud Guerrera vs Hector Garza.

Match Background: This match is for the Will Never Be World Champion title. Juventud Guerrera has been Will Never Be World Champion champion since 16 March 2006.

The Match: Juventud Guerrera connects with a back heel kick on Garza and gets back up quickly. Juvi hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Hard back suplex on Garza. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Garza blocks a kick from Juventud Guerrera. Spin kick by Hector Garza to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Flying cross body off the top rope! There's a two count on the pin. Garza charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. GORGEOUS Spinning bulldog in the corner and Garza is down. There's a two count on the pin. DDT from the top rope by Juventud Guerrera. That looked KILLER! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Juventud Guerrera misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Standing leg lariat by Hector Garza on Juvi. Garza drops an elbow...but Juventud Guerrera moves out of the way. Implant DDT by Juventud Guerrera! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Juventud Guerrera has Hector Garza down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Through the air, 450 Splash! 1....2....3.

My Opinion: A wise man once said 'Can I get a side of bland with that bland'. He's dead now, though. That's what this match was...bland. **


Erik Watts is in the ring, and he calls out New Jack. Jack runs down and hits the ring, and they brawl all the way back into the aisle, and eventually out of sight backstage.


Dan Maff vs Scott Hall.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Hall scoops and slams Dan Maff. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Hall hits a right hand. Scott Hall with a spinning neckbreaker on Maff. BAAACK Body drop by Maff gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Maff blocks a punch. Bodyslam by Maff. Dan Maff hits a bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Hall blocks a punch. Maff walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Covers for a quick two count. High Angle DDT by Scott Hall just SPIKES Dan Maff down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Hall walks into a drop toe hold. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Dan Maff ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Dan Maff misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Dan Maff by Hall. Remember when that was a legit finish? Dan Maff is in trouble. Here it comes - Outsider's Edge. 1....2...3, it's finished.

My Opinion: Usually, this is designated for good matches that were usually way too short for some reason. What's your excuse? *3/4


Scott Hall is backstage. He got on THE STICK~! and put himself over, talking about how great he is. I wonder if he's a mark for himself.


Vampiro vs Brian Lawler.

Match Background: This match is for the Cancelled Television title. Vampiro has been Cancelled Television champion since 06 March 2006.

The Match: Brian Lawler just WALKS into a stiff lariat clothesline from Vampiro. Vampiro misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. B. Lawler hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Vampiro charges, B. Lawler moves, and the referee is knocked silly! Power drive elbow by Brian Lawler. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Cover, but there's no one to count for Brian Lawler! Vampiro fights out of a grapple. BIG clothesline on B. Lawler. Vampiro hits a piledriver on Brian Lawler. That used to end matches, you know. Hooks the leg for a two count. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Vampiro connects and Brian Lawler is down! Pin, but B. Lawler is out just before the three count. Brian Lawler is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Spinning bulldog in the corner and Vampiro is down! Pin, but Vampiro is out just before the three count. Vampiro backdrops Brian Lawler out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Vampiro. Vampiro moves in for the kill. Nail In The Coffin!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!!

My Opinion: Do you know what * means? It's the equivalent of buying your favorite soft drink, looking under the cap and seeing 'Sorry, Try again.' At least you got the soft drink.

The really sad thing is a snagged a 66% overall rating for the last show.

This, honest to God, is the BEST fantasy fed I have ever read about in EWR history. This puts everything else ever done to shame. :lol:


And why the hell am I in this?