Welcome to Rowe's Random Match Reviews! This is where I will review matches I have downloaded and perhaps some YouTube matches.

So far, I have reviewed:

CM Punk and Brent Albright vs. Ken Doane and Paul Birchill (OVW) ***1/2
Perry Saturn vs. Mike Bell (Dark match at a May 2001 Raw) 1/2*
Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena (Backlash 2003) **1/2
Kurt Angle vs. The Undertaker (No Way Out 2006) ***1/4
Tito Santana vs. The Undertaker (1991 house show) **1/2
Rob Van Dam, Carlito, and Charlie Haas vs. Shelton Benjamin, Matt Striker, and Chris Masters (April Raw 2006) **1/2
John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam (ECW ONS 2) ***3/4
John Cena vs. Kenny (Raw, May 2006) *1/2
Andre The Giant vs. Stan Hansen (9/23/81) ***
Hollywood Hogan vs. Warrior (Halloween Havoc 98) -***
Eddie Guerrero vs. Kenzo Suzuki (Jan. 2005 Smackdown) 1/2*
John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan (Jan. 2005 Smackdown) 1/4*
Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio (Jan. 2005 Smackdown) ***1/2
Paul London vs. Akio (Feb. 2005 Velocity) ****
Batista vs. Edge (Feb. 2005 Raw) *1/2
Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels vs. Edge and Christian (Feb. 2005 Raw) **1/4
Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio vs. Basham Brothers (Feb. 2005 Smackdown) ***1/4
Spike Dudley vs. Paul London (Feb. 2005 Velocity) *3/4
Shawn Michaels vs. Edge (Feb. 2005 Raw) ***
Chris Benoit vs. Shelton Benjamin (March 2005 Raw) **3/4
Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio vs. JBL and Orlando Jordan (March 2005 Smackdown) **
Paul London vs. Akio (March 2005 Velocity) ****
Chris Benoit vs. Tyson Tomko (March 2005 Raw) 3/4*
Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio vs. Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas (March 2005 Smackdown) **
Paul London vs. Spike Dudley (March 2005 Velocity) **3/4
Nunzio and Funaki vs. Billy Kidman and Akio (March 2005 Velocity) *3/4
Muhammad Hassan vs. Shawn Michaels (March 2005 Raw) *
Ricky Steamboat vs. Scott Steiner (WCW 9/29/92) **1/4
John Cena vs. Umaga (NYR 2007) **3/4
Mitsuharu Misawa vs. Takeshi Morishima (3/5/06 NOAH) ****
Takeshi Morishima vs. Yoshihiro Takayama (6/3/03) **1/4
Adam Pearce vs. Nelson Creed (3/14/07 NWA) **1/2
Jillian Hall vs. Victoria (9/14/04 OVW) *
Samoa Joe vs. Takeshi Morishima (ROH 5th Year Festival) ****1/4
John Cena vs. Umaga (Royal Rumble 2007) ****3/4
John Cena vs. The Great Khali (Judgment Day 2007) *3/4
King Booker vs. John Cena vs. Big Show (Cyber Sunday 2006) **1/4
John Cena vs. The Great Khali (One Night Stand 2007) *1/2
John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle vs. Kane vs. Carlito vs. Chris Masters (NYR 2006) ***1/2
Deuce and Domino vs. Jimmy Snuka and Sgt. Slaughter (Vengeance 2007) 3/4*
John Cena vs. Triple H (Wrestlemania 22) ****
Mitsuharu Misawa vs. Jumbo Tsuruta (6/8/90 AJPW) ****3/4
Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Billy Gunn (Wrestlemania 15) *
Takeshi Morishima vs. KENTA (3/4/07 Pro Wrestling NOAH) ***1/4
Jay and Mark Briscoe vs. El Generico and Kevin Steen (9/15/07 ROH Man Up) *****
Chris Harris vs. James Storm (TNA Sacrifice 2007) ****
Takeshi Morishima vs. Bryan Danielson (8/25/07 ROH Manhattan Mayhem II) ****3/4
John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Mick Foley vs. King Booker (Vengeance 2007) **1/2
John Cena and Batista vs. King Booker and Finlay (Armageddon 2006) **
MVP and Matt Hardy vs. Deuce n' Domino (Unforgiven 2007) **
Rob Conway vs. Scott Lost (NWA Showcase 8) **
Orlando Jordan vs. Heidenreich (Judgment Day 2005) 1/2*
Matt Cage vs. Nick Mir (UWR 5/10/08) **1/4

CM Punk and Brent Albright vs Ken Doane and Paul Birchill

Doane and Birchill are in the ring to start things off and Brent Albright charges them before CM Punk can even make it to the arena. Doane and Birchill are all over Albright when Punk’s music finally hits. Punk takes his time coming down to the ring. Finally Punk runs in and clears Doane from the ring. Albright removes Birchill and our match can finally begin. Albright and Punk are not getting along. Albright flips Doane in and takes the fight to him. Albright drops Doane and nails him in the head. Doane comes back by slamming the head of Brent Albright into a turnbuckle. Albright reverses an Irish whip and hits a big back body drop. Albright drags Doane into Punk’s corner, and Punk holds Doane still. Doane gets a shot in at CM Punk and charges to Birchill’s corner. Birchill is tagged in and takes control of Albright. He hangs Albright up on the bottom rope, allowing Doane to get some cheap choking in. Birchill taunts Punk and goes back to hitting Albright with some stiff shots. Birchill drives Albright into the turnbuckle. Albright reverses another Irish whip and gets an arm drag. CM Punk tags himself into the match and hits some chops on Paul Birchill. Punk whips Birchill into the turnbuckle and hits a big running knee to the head. CM Punk hits a snap suplex. Birchill is being absolutely owned by Punk. Punk uses Birchill’s face to clean his boot. Birchill finally makes a tag to Ken Doane. CM Punk takes Doane down and goes for the first cover attempt of the match. Punk makes another cover attempt and Birchill breaks it up. Punk tags in Brent Albright, who keeps up the positive momentum that Punk started. Punk tags himself back in after taking a rest. Ken Doane slaps Punk across the face and takes control. Punk gets a boot to Doane’s face and sets Doane up for a ten punch. Punk takes a break to hit a drop-kick on an interfering Paul Birchill, but Doane takes advantage and drops Punk. Doane tags in Birchill, and makes a cover attempt. Birchill hits a northern lights suplex and gets another two count. Birchill hits some nice uppercuts and we head to a commercial.

After the break, Ken Doane is in control of CM Punk. Doane puts Punk in a sleeper. CM Punk shoulders his way out of it and manages to keep Doane off of him long enough to regain his bearings. Doane takes a swing at Albright and goes back to work on Punk. Paul Birchill is tagged back in and his grounds Punk in the heel corner. Birchill hits a short Irish whip and gets an elbow shot in on Punk. Birchill puts Punk in the Cobra Clutch! Punk is in big trouble, he really needs the hot tag to Albright. Birchill is absolutely relentless in his offense, but Punk manages to reverse a vertical suplex. CM Punk gets a spinning DDT on Birchill from the top turnbuckle and both men are out! That was cool. CM Punk finally makes the tag to Albright, and he cleans house on a newly tagged in Ken Doane. Brent Albright hits a beautiful overhead belly to belly suplex on Doane! Doane suffers a big back body drop and gets put into the Sharp Shooter by Albright. Birchill tries to break it up, but Albright flips him over him without even letting go of the Sharp Shooter! Doane tries to reverse the Sharp Shooter, but ends up caught in the Crowbar. Birchill makes the save before Doane can tap out. Doane takes the opportunity to hit Albright in the head, but Albright pops back up to put the Crowbar on Doane. Paul Birchill once again makes the save. Doane makes the tag to Birchill, and decides to walk away from the match. Birchill is outraged and becomes an easy target for Albright. We head to another commercial.

After the break, Birchill is fighting against Albright the best he can. Birchill drops Albright to the mat and climbs to the top rope. Punk is unsuccessful in knocking him off and Birchill hits a knee drop on Albright. Birchill takes Albright down again and goes for a cover, which is interrupted by CM Punk. Birchill gets caught in a belly to back suplex from Albright and kicks out at two from the following cover attempt. Albright reluctantly tags in CM Punk. Punk hits a big kick on Birchill and gets a two count. Birchill fires away at Punk out of pure desperation. Punk hits another kick to Birchill’s face and gets yet another two count. Punk hits a series of kicks to the back of Paul Birchill. Punk argues with Albright for a second and almost gets pinned in a roll-up attempt by Birchill. Punk slaps Albright to tag him in. Albright hits another suplex on Birchill and gets another count out. Paul Birchill fights back with a drop-kick and CM Punk makes a blind tag. Birchill gets Punk in a backslide and gets a close two count. CM Punk hits the Novocain on Birchill and makes him tap out to the Anaconda Vice at 16:31. Due to a pre-match stipulation, Brent Albright gets a TV title shot. Punk slaps Albright, and they begin to brawl. This was a very well-booked tag team match, and has the influence of Paul Heyman all over it, ***1/2.
Winners: CM Punk and Brent Albright

After the match, OVW TV Champion Aaron Stevens jumps Brent Albright and lays him out. He has his two lady friends hold Albright still while he slaps him around. Albright fights back and gets the Crowbar on Stevens, who quickly taps out.

Thoughts: This was a fun match. It makes me all the more sad to see Ken Doane stuck with the Spirit Squad gimmick now and to see Paul Birchill becoming a pirate, because they can both go. Brent Albright and CM Punk should also have bright WWE futures, assuming they don't get saddled with any stupid gimmicks (which you know they will).


Perry Saturn (with Terri) vs Mike Bell

This was an infamous dark match from a Raw taping in 2001. We’ll get to why it is infamous in a little bit. They circle and tie up. Bell wrings Saturn’s arm, and Saturn reverses. Bell snap-mares Saturn but it is reversed into an eventual head lock. Saturn is whipped into the ropes but the knocks Bell down. Bell hits a series of sloppy moves, including a botched arm drag, so Saturn responds by stiffing the poor jobber and throwing him through the ropes! Bell hits the floor head first. You can hear Saturn ask him if he is all right before ramming him into the steel steps. Saturn rolls Bell back into the ring and puts him in the tree of woe. Saturn pulls back on his neck from ringside and takes a moment to embrace the reptilian Terrie. Saturn goes back to the ring and hits a vertical suplex on Mike Bell. Saturn goes for the cover, but Bell gets a shoulder up. Saturn wrenches Bell’s arm in a needless rest hold spot. Saturn lifts Bell up on his shoulders and jams him into the turnbuckles. Saturn must still be pissed. Saturn hits a super kick on Bell and follows it up with the Credenza for the victory at 3:19. This was a dark match, so I obviously wasn’t expecting too much. However, it is entertaining to see the jobber take some brutal Saturn offense for messing up a bit, ½*.
Winner: Perry Saturn

Thoughts: This match is fairly significant because it lead to Saturn being punished for his actions by taking several stiff shots in the following weeks. This lead to an angle where Saturn's mental condition was suffering for having taken all those blows and he eventually fell in love with Moppy as a result.

Awww, yes. That Mike Bell match...instant classic.

I wonder what he's been up to since :D






Probably neck rehab.

Even OWW doesn't have a profile on him that I can find.

He did some stuff with New Breed Wrestling from what I gathered:

Tony DeVito vs. 'Mr.Grimm' Mike Bell (w/ Kenny Casanova)

And he's jobbed a lot in the WWF days to the likes of the Smoking Gunns, Money Inc., Duke Droese, and King Kong Bundy. I wonder how many times I watched him on Superstar, and wouldn't have even known.

WWE Championship:
Brock Lesnar © vs John Cena
Backlash 2003

Oh, how I miss evil heel Cena. Yes, this match is from a time when Cena was supposed to being booed and Brock Lesnar was a smiling babyface. Brock’s head is bandaged up from a previous attack, where Cena hit him with a steel chain and the WWE title belt.

There is a pre-match stare down, but Cena quickly slaps Brock and pummels him into a corner. Cena is aggressive, but Lesnar catches Cena with a series of back breakers into a fallaway slam. Lesnar follows up with a nice looking suplex, and Cena is not doing too well. Lesnar hits another suplex, just for emphasis. Lesnar goes for a cover, but Cena gets a shoulder up. Lesnar puts Cena in a front headlock for several seconds. They move into a standing position, but Lesnar only uses this as an opportunity to hit a fisherman’s suplex. Cena crawls into a corner and gets a mud hole stomped into him. Cena gets caught in a press slam and hits the ring hard. Lesnar cleans Cena from the ring. Lesnar follows Cena to the ringside area and slams him into the announce table. Lesnar grabs the WWE Championship and shoves it in Cena’s face to punk him out. Lesnar tosses Cena back into the ring and Cena escapes an Irish whip attempt. Cena flees to ring side and goes for a chair. Turning his back on Lesnar was a bad idea, as Lesnar catches up with him and hits some high knees to the ribs. Lesnar goes to whip Cena into the steel steps, but Cena counters and Lesnar goes into the steps head-first. Lesnar’s head wound has been reopened and Cena smells blood. Cena rolls Lesnar into the ring and goes for the cover, but Lesnar gets out. Cena hits a back suplex and goes for another counter. Cena chokes Lesnar out of rage and focuses some kicks towards Lesnar’s bloody forehead. Cena makes a third cover attempt, and Lesnar gets out yet again. Cena hits an elbow on Lesnar and decides to go for another cover. Lesnar kicks out and suffers another blow to his forehead. Cena whips Lesnar into the turnbuckles, but Lesnar escapes with a shoulder block. Cena hits a running shoulder block and dangles Lesnar in the ropes. Cena takes this opportunity to choke Lesnar on the bottom rope. With Lesnar still draped on the bottom rope, Cena climbs up the turnbuckle and hits a leg drop. That was pretty cool. Lesnar is out on the floor and Cena is relentless with his assault. Cena tosses Lesnar back into the ring and gets another near fall. Cena puts Lesnar into a sleeper choke, which the referee is okay with. Lesnar has a lot of trouble fighting out of the hold, but eventually does. He flips Cena over his shoulder, but Cena is still in charge. He hits a DDT and gets another near fall. Cena runs into a spine buster from Lesnar and now they are both down. Lesnar comes back with some knee shots to Cena, but Cena counters with a jaw breaker and a clothesline. Cena goes for another cover, and I must say, Cena is making these scattered near falls look legit. Cena puts Lesnar into a rear naked choke. Lesnar is winded, bloody, and fading. There is an audible “Let’s go, Cena” chant. Wow, WWE would kill for that chant these days. Lesnar is stuck in this hold for several seconds, with Cena trying to maneuver Lesnar’s shoulders to the mat for a cover. Lesnar gets to his knees, with Cena still on his back. Finally, Brock gets to his feet and backs Cena into the turnbuckles. Cena holds on until the third time before he lets go. Cena is hung up in the turnbuckles and Lesnar drops back to his knees. Lesnar hits a series of sweeping clotheslines and a huge power slam. Lesnar gets a convincing near fall on Cena but it is a near fall. Lesnar catches Cena and drives him into the turnbuckle. The action picks up as Lesnar drops Cena down again and gets another near fall. Lesnar returns to his shoulder thrust strategy. Cena hits a blind low blow and rolls up Lesnar and gets the ultimate near fall. The crowd bought it. Cena hits his flip neck breaker and gets another near fall in. Cena tries to DDT Lesnar, but gets whipped into the turnbuckles. Cena grabs his steel chain and wraps it around his hand. The referee finds the chain and tosses it from the ring. This allows Lesnar to catch Cena in the F-5! Lesnar covers Cena for the win at 15:15! The match was a by the numbers main event style match, but the crowd was hot for both Lesnar and Cena, and was actually pretty solid, **1/2.
Winner and STILL WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar

Thoughts: This match reminds me why I miss Brock Lesnar. He was a credible and effective main event player. This also reminds me of why I was such a Cena mark back in 2003. Cena was a fresh underdog heel and I couldn’t get enough of him. This match also was a turning point in the WWE title scene. Up until this point, every single WWE title match on pay-per-view had featured Stone Cold, The Rock, Undertaker, Kurt Angle, or Triple H in every single match for many years. Finally, the younger stars were getting some time.

Glad to see I've influenced others to do these kinds of topics, just like my video game simulation leagues and keeping track of records in my Velocity reviews... for about a month. :P

World Heavyweight Championship:
Kurt Angle © vs Undertaker
No Way Out 2006

I found this on YouTube and decided since it was actually loading for me, I should take advantage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P94Vnun-KZI&search=wwe

Undertaker's entrance is dragged out longer than usual. He finally makes it to the ring and there is a disclaimer at the bottom of the screen warning against pirating the broadcast. Considering how I am watching this match, they should try harder and crack down on YouTube. Not that I really want them to, right?

The bell ring and Angle aggressively locks himself to Taker's back. Taker catches the ropes and chases Angle out of the ring. Angle takes his time returning to the ring and they finally tie up again. Taker puts Angle in a head lock, but Angle keeps fighting it. Angle pushes Undertaker into the ropes and gets shoved to the mat. Undertaker foolishly tries to cover Angle. Taker wrings the arm of Kurt Angle and drives it right into the turnbuckle. Undertaker isn't playing any games this time. Taker keeps up the work on the wrist and lifts Angle into the air. I always mark out for that spot. Taker locks Angle in a "modified arm scissors" and they fall to the mat where Undertaker tries to get Angle to tap out. Right now I feel like we're ten minutes into the match and not only three. Undertaker tries to climb the ropes for "Old School" but Angle stops him and hits some shots of his own. Angle tries to whip Undertaker, but Taker flips him and Angle goes down. Undertaker goes for the "Old School" again as a dueling chant can be heard from the crowd. Angle gets planted with a clothesline and Taker gets a near fall. Undertaker get snake eyes on Angle, misses a big boot, and is victim for a wonderful German suplex from Angle. Angle gets a near fall, but the Dead Man still isn't dead. Angle stomps away at the cornered Undertaker and chokes him with his boot. Angle lifts up Taker and drives his shoulders into him. We've come a long way since 2000, when Undertaker would simply squash Angle. Taker comes back but gets hung up on the ropes when attempting the big boot. Angle takes the advantage and removes Taker to the ringside area, hitting the mat hard. Angle pursues his prey, driving Taker's head into the steel steps. Angle dives off the apron onto Taker, but gets caught. Taker drives the back of Kurt Angle into the ring post and Angle and his gooey neck hits the mat. Undertaker sets Kurt Angle up on the apron for his trademark spots. Taker hits his elbow and follows it up by hitting the leg drop off the apron. Angle's injured neck is now more injured. I hope Angle is looking forward to being confined to a wheel chair for the rest of his life, as soon as his neck gives out on him. For crying out loud, just retire! Taker gets Angle back into the ring and signals the chokeslam. Angle kicks his way to freedom, but gets put down with a right hand from the Dead Man. Kurt Angle targets the back knee of Undertaker, and he smells blood. Angle focuses on the knee of Undertaker, which reminds me that Angle isn't selling the wrist from earlier. Ah well. Angle drags Taker to the ring post and slams Taker's bad knee into the ring post. Angle then puts Taker into the figure four, all the while tied up in the post! I mark for that spot too, this match is methodical, but fun. Angle sets up Taker's knee on the ring apron and hits some repeated elbow shots to it. Angle goes for a cover, but it's a mere near fall. Angle places Taker's bad knee on the bottom rope and continues the assault. Undertaker tries to counter, but gets knocked down again. Taker gets an uppercut and throws Angle through the ropes. Taker hits some knee shots by the ringside area and rolls Angle in to break the count. Taker goes to drop his high leg drop, but Angle reverses it into the ankle lock! Undertaker is in big trouble, but he cannot tap out since they aren't in the ring. Angle lets go of the hold to break the referee's count, but quickly returns to putting the ankle lock on Undertaker's bad leg! Angle gets bored and tosses Undertaker back into the ring. Angle goes to work on Undertaker's leg, and gets some near falls since Taker's shoulders keep going down. It's always fun to watch Undertaker act like a more technical wrestler. Taker gets his leg across the throat of Kurt Angle, and gets him to break the hold. Angle lunges at Taker and drops him UFC-style! Undertaker reverses into a triangle choke, and Angle is now the one in trouble! Angle luckily gets a foot in the ropes and Undertaker is forced to break the hold. The combatants return to ringside and Taker bounces Angle's head off of the barricade. Taker pushes Angle into Tony Chimmel, who does a good job of looking surprised. Taker continues his aggressive, convincing shots on a weakened Kurt Angle. Taker clears the announce table off, but heads back into the ring for some reason. Taker goes back after Angle, who catches him in a surprise Angle Slam through the Spanish announce table! That was pretty cool. The otherwise quiet crowd really liked that spot too. Now that I've gone and said that, they start another dueling chant (those bastards). Angle curses at the referee a couple times, thus proving what a bad-ass he is. Angle did not want Undertaker to be counted out and pursues the Dead Man, hitting some spiffy uppercuts all of his own. Undertaker soon reverses an Irish whip and sends Angle lunging into the steel steps. Undertaker throws Angle back into the ring and climbs the ropes. Angle cuts him off at the top rope. Angle climbs up and goes for a big superplex. Undertaker counters and tosses Angle down. But Angle does his sprint to the top and suplexes Undertaker (it looked kind of botched). Angle gets a close near fall. Taker and Angle trade some blows before Angle gets planted with a big boot. Taker goes for a cover, but Angle predictably kicks out. Undertaker signals the chokeslam, but Angle counters into the ankle lock! Undertaker is dangerously close to "tapping out for the first time in his career" according to Michael Cole. Undertaker reverses by putting Angle into the triangle choke. Angle counters into the ankle lock. Undertaker escapes the hold and catches Angle with a chokeslam. Taker is doing a nice job selling the knee, by the way. Taker goes for the cover, but Angle gets a shoulder up, in a fall that the crowd bought (I didn't since I already know who wins this :P ). Undertaker goes for the Last Ride, but Angle reverses it into the ankle lock! Taker is portrayed to be in big trouble this time, and fails to make it to the ropes. Angle is drooling, is that really healthy? Taker breaks the hold, but soon gets caught in the Angle Slam! Angle goes for the cover, but Undertaker kicks out! The crowd bought that one too. Now that they are done killing each other's finishing moves, they can end the match with a roll-up or something. They go back to trading blows and Taker sets Angle up for the Tombstone piledriver! Angle counters it, but that gets counted too. Angle counters this into the ankle lock again (all the while on Taker's hurt knee). That was a pretty fun little sequence. Trapped in the ankle lock, Taker tries to fight back and forces Angle to break the hold. Angle hits another Angle Slam, but as he goes for the cover Undertaker hits the triangle choke. Angle is being choked out, and Cole claims that Angle may tap out "for the first time in his career." Unless you count all those times that Angle tapped out to Chris Benoit, right? Angle flips himself over Undertaker and pins him, all the while trapped in the triangle choke. Angle pinned Undertaker at 29:36, which is a lot longer than this match probably should have been. I actually enjoyed this match quite a bit, but it dragged on at times. Still, this was a great effort, so I think a ***1/4 is in hand.
Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7sy1tyZXpY...=tito%20santana

The Undertaker (with Paul Bearer) vs Tito Santana

This match took place in Barcelona in October of 1991. Undertaker charges, but Santana dodges the attack and fires away with some punches, catching the Dead Man off guard. Santana shoves Taker's head in to the turnbuckle a couple of times, though it doesn't seem to effect Taker much. Santana resumes his punching, so far the Undertaker hasn't gotten any offense in. Santana wrenches Taker's arm for several seconds. The crowd is very pro-Santana. Undertaker pushes Santana into the ropes to escape. Santana goes for the sunset flip, but Taker stops him from rolling him up. Santana goes back to wrenching Taker's arm. Taker goes down to one knee to cope with the pain. Taker summons his powers to allow him to stand up and punch his way out of the arm wrench. Taker pummels Santana into the corner and whips him across the ring. Santana gets a boot to Taker's face, hits a drop kick, and a beautiful clothesline. Santana sends Taker falling over the ropes to the ringside area. Santana pursues Taker. Taker goes to shove Santana into the steps, but Santana counters and returns to the ring. Santana grabs Taker by the hair, but gets dropped throat first into the ropes. Paul Bearer is pleased, and gives the urn a nice rub. Back in the ring, Taker is in control of Santana, methodically punching him. Taker chokes Santana on the ropes for quite a while. The referee has been non-existent in this matchup. Undertaker hits "old school" though at this point it was still "new school" or something like that. Santana hits some desperate punches to the gut of Undertaker, but fails to make any comeback. Santana fails to get in a scoop slam and Taker plants him back on the mat. Undertaker bites the forehead of Tito Santana, and puts him in a bit of a head lock while standing at ringside. That Undertaker was ever so crafty. Santana is in a daze and easy victim for further choking from the Dead Man. Undertaker hits a slow scoop slam and paces around, admiring his dirty work. Undertaker misses an elbow drop and the winds of change may be blowing. Undertaker goes for "old school" again, but Santana pulls him off the ropes! I wonder why more people don't do that. Santana fires away with some running punches, and some kicks. Santana wants to knock Undertaker down, but just can't seem to get the damn Dead Man off his feet. Undertaker pulles the referee into the way to block a flying forearm from Santana, and the ref takes a nap. Taker catches Santana and hits a sidewalk slam. I think Undertaker would win more matches if he moved faster. Bearer tosses a body bag into the ring and Undertaker prepares to put Santana in it. Undertaker gets Santana into the bag and is zipping it up before Santana finally wakes up and tries to fight back. Santana punches his way to freedom and almost trips with the bag around his ankles. Santanta hits three consecutive piledrivers on the Undertaker. Paul Bearer hops up on the apron for a distraction and Santana pushes him off. Santana grabs the urn from Bearer and slams it into the skull of the Undertaker! Santana covers Taker, the ref wakes up, and counts to three, giving Santana the victory at 13:55! Holy crap! This was a pretty enjoyable match, a bit slow at times, but I had fun. **1/2.
Winner: Tito Santana

**1/2? YOU CRAZY, FOOL! No offense to your terrible rating, but I think maybe 1 Undertaker match between 1990 and 1996 has been that good. :lol:

Dude, layoff........

I'd like to go apeshit on you with some of your ratings, but I doubt argument being a good thing for these threads.

I wouldn't mind getting bitched at for a bad rating if I missed something in the match that could change my opinion, but I've already admited that my scale is a bit more strict than everyone elses.

And Rowe knows I'm only questioning it in a joking way, hence the goofy grin smilie and the horrible "Undertaker sucked back then" joke. :)

Yes, I'm at a point where I'm almost disappointed if Scrooge doesn't flame my ratings on a regular basis. :P

That, and my rating system tends to be more lenient than some because I allow my enjoyment of the match to play a part in the rating just as much as how good the actual work-rate was. I enjoyed the Santana/Taker match quite a bit, but it wasn't technically that great, so **1/2 was a fair rating in my book.

See? This is the guy who gave Kane/Viscera **. You must've enjoyed that match a lot, because even I hated it, and I automatically boost Kane matches up by 1/2* and sugar coat everything..

Just a quick Q Rowe...when did you become a fan of Undertaker? I thought you hated him.

Kane/Vis was a solid ** when it was seen live.

I must've been turned to the dark side, because I don't tend to enjoy anything anymore. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [/Darth Vader]

Was the crowd hot live for Kane/Vis', other than the let's go Mabel chant?

Rob Van Dam, Carlito, and Charlie Haas vs. Chris Masters, Shelton Benjamin, and Matt Striker

This is from last week’s Raw. There is a fellow at Scott Keith’s livejournal, who is kind enough to post Raw matches there every week. I typically download at least one of them. Carlito and Benjamin start off, and Benjamin takes him down. Carlito quickly tags in RVD, who puts up a stronger fight against the Intercontinental Champion. RVD kicks Benjamin out of the ring and tosses Striker and Masters out too. Haas whips RVD over the ropes to give the heels a run for their money.

After a break, Chris Masters is in control of RVD. Masters puts RVD in a bear hug, so I automatically deduct a ½* from the rating. RVD is doing a good job selling it, at least. RVD fights out after a few seconds but gets slammed by the Masterpiece. Masters is distracted by Carlito’s antagonizing, but remains in control Shelton Benjamin is tagged in, and he continues the work on RVD’s back. RVD is an easy victim for rest holds, apparently. Benjamin whips RVD into the ropes, but gets kicked in the face when trying it again with the turnbuckles. RVD tags in Charlie Haas, who cleans house on Benjamin. Haas absolutely kills Benjamin with a dropkick and an inverted DDT. Masters breaks up the cover, and stomps on Haas. Carlito interrupts and slaps the taste out of Master’s stupid face. Chaos follows, as RVD and Striker brawl at ringside. In the ring, Carlito gets the back cracker in on Benjamin, but gets caught in the Masterlock. Haas saves Carlito with a German suplex on Masters. Striker goes after Haas, but a blind tag is made to RVD. Carlito suffers a T-Bone suplex from Benjamin, who soon is victim to a flying RVD kick. RVD hits the rolling thunder and heads to the top rope for the Five Star Frog Splash! RVD pins Benjamin for the win at 5:31 (not counting the commercial break)! This was certainly a refreshing Raw match, as it really made the mid-card look strong, **1/2.
Winners: Rob Van Dam, Carlito, and Charlie Haas

You could've just watched Raw, Rowe. :D

Speaking of this match, I still haven't watched it, but have it taped somewhere.

Oh, I've been watching Raw, I just don't usually feel like reviewing it B)

WWE Championship:
John Cena © vs. Rob Van Dam
ECW One Night Stand 2

The atmosphere in the building is unreal, as the crowd loves RVD and absolutely HATES Cena. I love these types of crowds. I mean, seriously. It touches my heart that a crowd can be this passionate about wrestling in the year 2006. This is a good thing. Cena and RVD do their usual prematch taunts to kick things off. The bell finally rings and it's on! Fans throw toilet paper and chant "Fuck you, Cena" which further delays the action from starting. They finally tie up and fight for the advantage. Cena corners RVD, but has to break it up. Cena, in a heel like manner, targets RVD's rib area and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. Cena hits a suplex to a "You can't wrestle" chant from the crowd. RVD kicks out of a pinfall attempt, and the match restarts. Cena appears amused by the "You can't wrestle" chant. Considering he's in there with a known spotmonkey like RVD, does this crowd even know what they're chanting? Cena and RVD do battle again and catches Cena gets hit with an enziguri. Cena escapes to ringside, while RVD chances around to a "Whole fucking show" chant. Cena gets in RVD's face, now clearly pissed. They trade some punches, with the crowd chanting "boo" when Cena gets a shot in and "yeah" when RVD hits back. RVD takes control with the punching a. Cena reverses the whip and slams RVD to the mat. Cena bundles RVD over the ropes, and now the crowd is chanting "Same old shit." Cena just can't cut a break in this building. Cena climbs to the top turnbuckle and hits a hammer off the post onto the floor. Wow, Cena actually took the crowd's response to heart, eh? Cena and RVD do some brawling at ringside, and Cena drives RVD's head into a table. Cena takes a moment to pose with the WWE Championship., which only angers the audience. RVD hits a moonsault off the apron while the crowd is finishing up their "overrated" chant that was directed towards Cena. RVD grabs a chair but Cena knocks it out of his hands. Cena whips RVD into the barricade. RVD goes to jump off the barricade, but Cena pushes him into the audience. Cena follows and dumps RVD back into the ringside area. Cena tries climbing back in, but RVD attacks him over the barricade. RVD hits a cool corkscrew legdrop onto Cena, who was still sprawled out on the barricade. Cena later tries crawling into the ring but suffers a baseball slide attack and then a guillotine leg drop. RVD goes for the chair again and drop kicks it into Cena's face. The crowd is quite delighted. RDVD goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out, much to the crowd's displeasure. RVD hits another corkscrew legdrop and places the chair on Cena. RVD hits the Rolling Thunder on the chair on Cena. RVD goes for another cover, but Cena kicks out again. RVD hits a power slam on Cena and puts the chair on Cena. RVD goes for the split legged moonsault, but Cena gets his knees up, foiling RVD's attack. Cena then DDT's RVD right onto the chair. Cena goes for the cover and RVD somehow kicks out. The crowd resumes the "You can't wrestle” chant. Actually, he CAN wrestle and he's putting on a damn good match. Cena positions the chair in the turnbuckle and slingshots RVD right into it. Cena goes for the cover, and it's only two again. The witty ECW fans are now chanting "Cena sucks cock." I don't think they like Cena very much. Cena responds with a back suplex on Cena and does his "You can't see me" taunt, which gets a wonderful reaction as you might guess. Cena hits the five knuckle shuffle and salutes RVD. Crowd is chanting "asshole" now. Is Cena really an asshole? Ha-ha, I'm having fun. Cena signals the F-U, but RVD counters and hits a kick to Cena's head. Cena responds and whips RVD into the turnbuckle. Cena charges, but RVD gets a boot up. RVD leaps to the top turnbuckle, but Cena gets back to his feet and slams RVD to the mat. Crowd is now chanting "You still suck." That transitions into "Die, Cena, die!" RVD tries to set Cena up on the ropes, but Cena awkwardly fights it. This results in RVD dropping Cena down onto the floor. Crowd chants "Cena fucked up." Cena gets to the apron, but RVD kicks him back to the floor. RVD grabs a table from under the ring, taking advantage of Cena recovering on the opposite side of the ring. RVD leans the table against the corner, turns around, and walks into Cena who puts RVD right into the STFU! RVD is in big trouble and threatens to tap out, which probably would have incited a riot. RVD gets to the ropes, but Cena refuses to release the hold. The ref pulls Cena off of RVD, and Cena shoves him. The ref shoves back, resulting in Cena clotheslining him. Meanwhile, RVD was on the top turnbuckle, but Cena catches him. Cena hits the superplex off the top. The referee is still out, so Cena goes for the steel steps at ringside instead of going for the cover. Cena rams the steps right into RVD's face! Finished, Cena tosses the steps to ringside, as the crowd is furious. Cena goes for the cover, and Smackdown's referee, Nick Patrick, runs in to count. RVD kicks out! Cena signals the-U again. RVD grabs the ropes, but it only causes Cena to F-U him all the way to ringside. Suddenly, a masked man runs into the ring and spears Cena into the table! The man reveals himself to be Edge! This starts a "Thank you, Edge" chant. Edge lays Cena out in the middle of the ring and leaves, having been satisfied with his work. RVD comes back to the ring, and is a tad confused over what happened. That doesn't stop RVD from going to the top and hitting the five star frog splash on Cena! Paul Heyman runs into the ring, RVD covers Cena, and Heyman counts to three! Rob Van Dam is the new WWE Champion! The match was pretty tame by ECW standards, but it was well worked. It clocked in at around 20-25 minutes. Cena tooks some risks and both men took some nice bumps. The crowd was apeshit the entire match, and the Edge run in actually added to it. Seriously, it made Edge look like a huge superstar. Awesome atmosphere + good match = ***3/4.
Winner and the NEW WWE Champion: Rob Van Dam

I liked the match too for the same reasons, but just for the hell of it, i gave it ***. I actually gave the Tag Match before it ***3/4. (runs)

Yeah, I wouldn't argue any rating for the match between *** and ***3/4. I haven't actually seen the entire show, so I have no idea if I should be flaming you for that tag match rating or not :P

John Cena vs. Kenny
Special Referee: Triple H
Raw, May 1st 2006

Cena catches Kenny with some hard shots as the bell rings. Cena unleashes his offense on Kenny, complete with a scoop slam and an elbow drop. Triple H is watching, not particularly interested. Cena hits some more punches on the helpless Kenny and a stalled vertical suplex. Cena corners Kenny, but Kenny gets a boot up and goes for the flying crossbody! Cena catches Kenny in midair and goes for the F-U, but Triple H gets involved with a shot on Cena. Kenny recovers and spills Cena out to ringside, where the rest of the Spirit Squad are waiting. Cena is rolled back into the ring, and Kenny goes for the cover. Cena kicks out and suffers some shots from the 20 year old. Kenny goes for another cover, but it only gets a two count. Cena blocks some punches and gets his own shots in, including a flying shoulder tackle. His comeback is ruined when the Spirit Squad drags him to ringside. Triple H allows this, so there is no disqualification here. The Spirit Squad beats down Cena and rolls him back into the ring for another cover attempt. Triple H is counting rather slowly. Kenny whips Cena into the ropes and knocks him down with an elbow shot. Kenny goes for yet another cover attempt. It doesn't work, so Kenny hits a neckbreaker and goes for yet another cover. Kenny is annoyed at how slowly Triple H is counting, so he argues a bit, allowing Cena to come back with some punches. It doesn't last as Kenny takes Cena down again. Kenny makes his millionth cover attempt and this time strikes Triple H in frustration. Triple H then unleashes a vicious shot on Kenny. Another Spirit Squad kid runs towards him and eats a Pedigree. Triple H removes his referee shirt and leaves. The entire Spirit Squad then continue their beating on Cena. As Triple H is leaving, Shawn Michaels comes out in a referee shirt. They make eye contact, foreshadowing the upcoming DX reunion. Back in the ring, Kenny hits his off the top leg drop on Cena and goes for the cover. HBK runs in and starts to count, but doesn't make it to three. Kenny protests and eats the Sweet Chin Music. HBK and Cena then fight off the rest of the Spirit Squad, including a Five Knuckle Shuffle and Sweet Chin Music on Johnny. Kenny is in a daze and suffers the F-U. Cena makes the cover, and gets the win at 8:02! This match was overbooked, but it was fun. It teased the DX reunion back when most of thought a DX reunion might be cool. Cena goes over strong, and Kenny gets a high profile match, which elevated him in itself. The match itself was not that good, but it was fun, so it gets a *1/2.
Winner: John Cena

I know I said I'd review Raw this week, but I got called into work and will miss it. So in place of Raw, here's a random review!


Stan Hansen vs. Andre The Giant
September 23rd, 1981
Taped in Japan

Andre is already on the assault before the bell even rings! Hansen clubs himself outo f the corner with some forearm shots, but Andre uses his gigantic boot to save himself. Andre goes for the bear hug in the early going, and Hansen clubs away with forearms out of desperation. Hansen goes for the face, but Andre keeps the hold locked on. Wow, a bear hug spot that I don't hate, amazing. Hansen finally breaks out, but Andre clutches him from behind, and they fall into the ropes. Hansen continues his assault, but Andre wrenches him by the wrist, taking him down to the mat in the process. Andre has the arm lock in place for a few secodns, before breaking with a head lock and a stomp. Andre takes a breather, allowing Hansen to come back with some chops. Andre corners him, and shoves against him, forcing the ref to break it up. Andre whips Hansen across the ring and charges, but Hansen dodges and Andre hits the corner hard. The big man is down, so Hansen capitilizes with some stomps and nearly gets a scoop slam in! Andre capitilizes with a hammerlock. Andre talks some shit, and Hansen tries to club his way to freedom. Hansen pushes Andre into the ropes, and the ref breaks them up. Andre goes back to work on the wrist of Stan Hansen, pulling it over his shoulder. Hansen only escapes by pulling Andre's hair. Andre grabs the wrist again and this leads to a suplex! Andre almost falls on Hansen, but ultimately drags him up to hit him again. This transitions into a chin lock. Andre lets go and splashes Hansen into the ropes. Hansen gets back up and hits a huge power slam on Andre! Hansen then misses an elbow drop, but keeps control. Hansen gets Andre into a cobra clutch. It takes him a bit, but Andre powers his way out, but gets tripped into the ropes in short order. Hansen is clearly selling this as the fight of his life. They end up brawling at ringside, and some photographers get in the way of my view. Hansen slams Andre's skull into the ring apron, and flees into the ring. The bell has been rung, and it is not clear if the match is going to continue or not. Andre argues with the officials, apparently the fight at ringside was the cause (I can't really tell due to everything being in Japanese). The match then restarts at 10:42.

Hansen arm drags Andre to the mat and hits some forearms to the skull. Andre is then left hanging out to dry on the ropes, making him an easy target for some more shots. Andre is pissed and strangles Hansen on the ropes and hits a terrifying chop. Andre hits a duo of head butts. Hansen blocks a shot to the turnbuckle and drives Andre's skull into the ring post instead. Hansen goes for an elbow drop, but Andre catches him and turns it into an arm lock. They get to their feet and Andre puts Hansen into a standing surfboard stretch, adding some head butts in for good measure. Andre then hits a big power slam, but then misses a splash! Hansen misses an elbow drop! Andre hits a few more head butts. Andre whips Hansen, but misses the big boot and gets hit with a lariat! This sends Andre falling over the ropes to ringside. Andre needs a minute to fix his elbow pad, but returns to the ring. He pushes the referee aside and clotheslines him! Andre continues his aggressive attack on Hansen, while other officials flood the ring to check on the ref. The bell rings at 15:04, apparently disqualifying Andre. The brawl between Hansen and Andre storms on, and it is all the officials can do to seperate them. The match was not technically great, but this was a great brawl and had an epic feel to it. Hansen was in control at parts, but always looked as if it was all he could do to keep up with the giant. There were a lot of rest holds, but they were used to advance the story of the match, not just used to allow the wrestlers to take it easier. This all adds up to make a good *** match.
Winner by DQ: Stan Hansen

Return match of the decade:
Hollywood Hulk Hogan vs. Warrior
WCW Halloween Havoc 1998

Yes, I'm reviewing that match. Warrior had a cool entrance in WCW, too bad he sucked ass. Before the match, Hogan stalls for time while Warrior plays to the crowd for face heat. Warrior finally punches Hogan in the face and the bell rings after what felt like an eternity. They circle each other and tie up. Hogan gains control with a knee to the gut and shots to the back. Hogan wrenches the arm of Warrior a couple of times before it gets reversed. Hogan sends Warrior into the ropes, but Warrior responds with a side tackle, sending Hogan to ringside. Hogan pouts for a bit and goes for a walk. Hogan finally returns to the ring and the match restarts. By "restart" I mean they walk around and stall for time again. Warrior demands a test of strength, which Hogan doesn't seem to think is a good idea. They tie up instead and Hogan pushes Warrior into the corner and fires away with multiple shots. Hogan stomps a mud hole and pulls Warrior's arm into the ropes. With the Warrior on his knees, they are now in a test of strength. I find myself wondering if they even went over a match plan before leaving the backstage area. Warrior gets to his feet, but Hogan gets a kick to the gut and returns to dominating a test of strength. The crowd has yet to give a shit about this match, by the way. Warrior gets to his feet and reverses an arm wrench. Hogan and Warrior then criss cross off the ropes, until Hogan gets a power slam in, which Warrior no sells and gets a power slam in himself. Warrior then clotheslines Hogan to the floor, so he can take another breather. This time Warrior pursues his enemy and they brawl around the steel barricade for a few minutes. Warrior pushes Hogan skull first into the ring post, sending Hogan into the ring again. Hogan soon accidently hits the referee, but then drops a knee on purpose. The whole thing looked botched. Hogan summons the other nWo members to the ring for an assit. The Giant responds, but misses a big boot and hits Hogan. Warrior dumps Giant from the ring, and fends off an invading Vincent. Warrior goes for the cover, but the ref is still out of it. Warrior tries to revive the ref, but gets caught in a back suplex by Hogan. Hogan goes for the cover, and the ref wakes up in time for a two count. Hogan hits some knee shots to the back of Warrior. Hogan soon removes his workout belt and whips Warrior with it in clear view of the referee. Hogan chokes Warrior with the belt, and now the referee wants the belt gone. Hogan rakes Warrior's eyes and gets in another thrilling power slam. Hogan misses a couple of elbow drops, and Warrior rolls into Hogan, tripping him. Yes, that really happened. Warrior goes for the running splash, but Hogan moves out of the way. Hogan hits some shitty punches, but Warrior gets a shitty punch of his own in. Warrior then pulls the workout belt off of Hogan and whips him with it, again in clear view of the referee. Meanwhile, Hogan had a bag in his tights and he botches throwing a fire ball at Warrior! Wow, this has reached new levels of embarassment. Warrior goes high risk and crowns Hogan with a double axe handle. Warrior repeats the spot, but Hogan gets a low blow (in view of the referee). Hogan, who is bleeding now, hits the leg drop. Hogan misses a second leg drop, and Warrior fires himself up. Warrior goes nuts, and hits his trademark flurry of offense on Hogan. Eric Bischoff grabs the referee, allowing Horace Hogan to crack a chair over Warrior, allowing Hogan to get the victory at 14:18, ending this travesty of a match. I don't know what the worst part of this match was, the awkward wrestling, the botched fireball, or the shitty as hell ending. -***, and one of the worst matches I've ever seen.
Winner: Hollywood Hulk Hogan

You can tell a match sucks when the reviewer has zero enthusiasm going in the match in question... well, until the end at least, when you can rip it to hell.

I thought I was pretty kind to the match during the body of my review. There were points where I thought "maybe this won't be as shitty as I've heard" but then it went and proved me wrong on so many levels.

So awesome that you mentioned that last part. :lol:

Time to add the matches from my old compilation tape!

Rowe's Compilation Tape

part 1

Eddie Guerrero vs Kenzo Suzuki

This was from the special episode that was taped in Japan. Eddie gets a really courteous reaction from the audience. Then comes Kenzo, and as Michael Cole says “Kenzo doesn’t even get any love in his homeland of Japan.” I believe this was one of, if not, Kenzo’s last matches on television before disappearing and eventually being released. Kenzo is distracted in the early going by the crowd’s booing, which Eddie encourages. Eddie finally pokes Kenzo in the eyes and then reverses an Irish Whip. Kenzo stomps away at Eddie in the corner and chokes him with his heel. Eddie fights back with some punches, but gets pushed (not slammed) down by Kenzo. Kenzo goes for another choke... what a smart move it was to hire this guy. Kenzo goes for a cover, but Eddie kicks out. Next we get a delightful rest hold, courtesy of Kenzo, but Eddie fights out of it thanks to the cheers of the respectful Japanese crowd. An American audience would be shitting all over this mess, but luckily we’re in Japan. Kenzo locks in another rest hold, and Eddie fights out of it again with some elbows to the stomach of Kenzo. Eddie knocks Kenzo down with a punch and sends Kenzo to the corner. Eddie then his the Three Amigos and heads to the top turnbuckle. Kenzo gets up and knocks Eddie down. Kenzo goes for a big suplex, but Eddie knocks him down and hits the Frog Splash and the win at 3:50! This match was pretty craptacular, but Eddie was put over clean, so it had that redeeming factor. ½*

John Cena vs Orlando Jordan

This was a part of the number one contenders tournament that finished up at No Way Out. This is also part of the Japan episode of Smackdown. Don’t ask me why I taped this match… They tie up and Jordan knees Cena in the gut and knocks him down. Jordan corners Cena with some hard shoulder blocks. Cena reverses and Irish Whip and catches Jordan in a hip-toss. Cena hits a Fisherman suplex and corners Jordan himself with some elbow shots. Jordan hits a big boot on Cena and floors Cena. Jordan waits for Cena to get up and hits some boxing jabs on Cena. Cena goes down again after a right hand and Jordan hits a series of elbow drops. Jordan goes for a cover and Cena amazingly kicks out. Cena comes back with some forearms to Jordan’s gut, but gets caught in a scoop slam by Jordan. Next up is the rest hold spot, as Jordan puts pressure on the back of Cena’s neck. Cena fights out of it, but gets caught in a back suplex. Jordan goes for another cover but Cena kicks out again. Jordan follows up with a spinning neckbreaker and goes for another cover. Cena kicks out at two and half. This is enough to frustrate Jordan, who follows up by hitting Cena with some closed fists. Jordan tries to cover Cena AGAIN, but Cena kicks out again. Cena fights back with some punches to the face of Orlando Jordan. Cena floors Jordan with his “pound and ground” attack. “You can’t see me” and the five knuckle shuffle lead into the F-U and Cena covers Jordan for the win at about 4:30. Typical Cena match. ¼* This means Cena will face Booker T next week, I don’t remember if I taped that one or not. I hope I didn’t.

Kurt Angle vs Rey Mysterio

This is another tournament match, the winner here will advance to the finals at No Way Out. This is another match from the Japan episode of Smackdown. Angle gets a “you suck” chant from the Japanese crowd, it’s fun to chant that at Angle regardless of where you live. Rey comes out with that stupid “619 Cam” that he was carrying around for a while. Ah, the simple times, before we ever stopped to consider if Eddie Guerrero was the father of Rey’s son… This match may be too quick for me to properly recap. A quick tie up at the beginning leads to Angle on the back of Rey Mysterio. Rey escapes the hold quickly, and Angle works on the left arm of Rey Mysterio. Angle grounds Rey, while keeping a stiff lock on Rey’s arm. Angle keeps the hammerlock on and moves to the back of Rey Mysterio. Rey blocks a suplex attempt and escape’s Angle’s grasp. The two men circle each other a few times. Angle lunges at Rey and grabs Rey. Angle wrings Rey’s arms, but Rey returns the favor. Rey sends Angle into the ropes, but Angle knocks down Rey. They bounce off each other several times within a few seconds until Rey is caught by Angle’s knee. They stop to circle each other again. Rey then catches Angle with a headscissors and sets up Angle for the 619. Angle barely moves out of the way from the 619 and they stand off in separate corners. I feel like I’m watching RVD vs Jerry Lynn again. Angle and Rey circle each other again, but Angle takes the offensive. Angle puts Rey in a side headlock and they roll around for a few seconds. Angle goes off the ropes again and runs into Rey again. Angle puts the side headlock back on and they return to the mat. Rey fights out again and pushes Angle into the ropes. Rey dropkicks Angle in the face and goes for the cover, but Angle kicks out. Rey hits a forearm on Kurt Angle and puts him in the corner. Rey climbs to the second rope and applies a “10 punch” on Angle. Angle fights out and hits a belly to belly suplex on Kurt Angle… we go to the commercial.

After the break, Angle has Rey trapped in a rear body scissor. Rey fights out on cue and uses Angle’s momentum to send him flinging from the ring. Angle is on the floor as the referee begins to count. Rey climbs to the top rope and hits a nice flying crossbody on Angle, who was just getting to his feet. They return to the ring and Rey sends Angle into a turnbuckle. Rey charges at Angle, but Angle dodges and hits a German suplex on Rey. Angle follows up with a backbreaker and goes for a cover. Rey kicks out, but Angle tries a second and a third cover. Rey shows his toughness by kicking out each time. Angle chokes Rey by the ropes and waits until the five count before ending it. Angle takes the offense and sets up Rey against the turnbuckle. Angle thrusts his shoulders into Rey’s back, which has become his new target area (forgetting about the arm from the beginning of the match). Rey is grounded again, Angle takes the opportunity to drive his knee into Rey’s back. Now it’s time for a rest hold! Rey fights out of it in the tradition of Eddie Guerrero and John Cena, but Angle is tenacious and grounds Rey again. Angle goes for another trilogy of cover attempts, but Rey keeps kicking out. Kurt Angle continues to hover over Rey and won’t let go of a back bear hug. Rey sells these wear down holds well, so the match has a good element of drama. Angle changes his tactics again and punches Rey in the back. Rey jumps to the second rope and hits a moonsault on Angle. Moments later, Angle has Rey set up in a tree of woe on the turnbuckle. Rey is stuck in the position for what feels like ages, Angle goes to spear Rey, but Rey lifts himself up and Angle goes right into the post. Both men take a moment to breath, with Angle going to the floor. Rey hits a headscissor takedown from the apron and they hit the floor. They crawl back in and Rey hits a senton on Angle. Cover only gets a 2. Rey hits a spinning DDT on Angle, and goes for another cover. Angle got his shoulder up just in time. Rey goes for another 619, but Angle catches him in mid-air and traps Angle into the ankle lock. Rey reverses and rolls up Angle, but only gets a 2 count. Angle counters with a clothesline and both men are down. Angle is first to his feet and he hits a German suplex on Rey. Rey counters a second suplex attempt, and puts Angle in position for the 619. This time the 619 hits and Angle is down. Rey goes for the West Coast Pop, but Angle catches Rey. Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Rey counters. Rey hits a hurricanrana, and goes for a cover but Angle kicks out again. After a dazzling display of counters involving the turnbuckle, Rey rolls up Angle, but to little luck again. Rey hits a beautiful crossbody off the second rope, but that only gets him a 2 count as well. Angle finally catches Rey again and hits the Angle Slam. Angle smells blood and puts his straps down. Angle catches Rey in the ankle lock, and keeps it locked on. Rey tapes out at 16:28 (not including commercials). Really good match, ***1/2.

Next up is the Basic Instinct spoof that aired several times, hyping up WrestleMania 21.

Paul London vs Akio

Shit, I have no idea how I’m going to keep up with this one. I suppose I’ll just have to be less detailed. This match is from the Velocity that taped in Japan, so we still have the nice, appreciative audience. WWE had a hell of a cruiserweight in Akio, it’s a shame he’s been released since. They lock up and London flips over Akio. A second tie up leads to the referee breaking it up once they roll into a corner. London has the upper hand thus far. Akio and London take turns countering head locks until Akio takes London down. London battles out of a rest hold attempt and goes for a surfboard stretch. Akio counters right away and puts London in a head scissors. They make it to their feet. Handshake offer is a ruse on Akio’s part as he kicks London in the gut and sends London to the corner. I look away to type this and next thing I see is Akio in a London headlock. This match is sick! Akio wrings London’s arm and tries to put him down before losing his patience and pushing him to the mat. Akio puts another headlock on London, and London fights out into an off the ropes contest. Paul London flies and hits a dropkick to Akio’s stomach. London hits his trademark mule kick on Akio and stomps around. London comes off the ropes into a hurricanrana. Akio goes out, and London looks to attempt an over the rope move. Akio catches on and moves out of the way, but London stops himself. Back in the ring, Akio wants London to tie up with him, but keeps switching hands. This finally leads to a test of strength. Akio gains control and puts London in a standing cobra clutch. London reverses the hold into one of his own. Commercial break!

After the break, London is hammering away on Akio in the corner. Akio flips London over the ropes and London takes a nasty fall on the ring steps! Holy shit! Akio takes control of London and tosses him back into the ring. Akio goes for a cover, but London gets out. Akio uses the ropes for a “tarantula” like submission hold on, until the ref breaks it up. Akio puts a sleeper on London, who is still smarting from his sick fall earlier. Akio follows up with a “jumping, rolling enziguri” as Josh Matthews says. Akio sends London into the ropes and hits a flying forearm. Akio climbs to the top and goes for a flying elbow, but London moves out of the way. Both men get to their feet, and London swings away at Akio. Akio fights back with some chops, and London returns the favor. London hits a jawbreaker on Akio and follows it up with a swinging kick. London is on fire, hitting some clotheslines on Akio. London hits a dropsault on Akio and goes for a cover. Akio somehow gets a shoulder up! London charges Akio but Akio hits an elbow into London’s face. Akio throws London over the ropes again, but London skins the cat. London flips Akio out of the ring and goes for a flying suicide plancha over the ropes onto Akio! Akio moves back into the ring, and London goes to the top rope. London dives off, but Akio catches him mid-air with a spinning kick! Akio regains control and sets up London on the rope. Akio goes for a scissor, but gets power-bombed to the mat by London. This is the perfect opportunity for London, who hits the 450 splash for the win at 10:50 (not counting commercials). Great match, one of the many Velocity gems this year. ****.

Batista (with Triple H) vs Edge

Edge made the challenge to Batista on this episode of Raw. Batista is worried about a potential JBL sighting tonight, as this is leading into No Way Out. They tie up and Batista pushes Edge to the mat. Edge grapples Batista, and gets picked up by Batista in the process. Edge hits a forearm on Batista, but Batista fights back and corners Edge. Batista thrusts his shoulders into Edge with all his might. Batista sends Edge into the ropes, but Edge counters back. Batista corners Edge again, Edge reverses a tackle attempt by Batista. Batista sends Edge flying over the ropes. Edge floors Batista on the floors, a nice bump by Batista. Edge briefly returns to the ring to break the referee’s count and stomps away on Batista. Batista climbs back on the apron, but Edge is still on the offensive. “Edge sucks” chant pisses off Edge, can’t imagine why. At least he’s a heel by this time. Back in the ring, Edge slugs away at Batista, and hits a snapmare on the big guy. Edge puts Batista in a “neck lock” according to Jim Ross. The rest hold goes on for a few seconds as Batista fights out of the “painful maneuver.” Edge is relentless in his offense as he corners Batista, before being swatted away. Batista comes back with some punches, before catching Edge and slamming him. Edge regains the upper hand, but is side tackled by Batista. Edge reverses a spinebuster and hits the Edgeocution. Edge awaits for Batista to stand up for a spear. Batista dodges and hits the spinebuster on Edge. Batista follows up with the Batista bomb and is about to pin him when JBL’s limo shows up on the titantron. Ric Flair shows up on the stage and summons Batista to join him in a Bradshaw hunt. The bell meanwhile rings, supposedly a DQ because Triple H was in the ring. Match ends at 5:48. *1/2, not bad for what it was but the ending was quite weak.

After the match, Batista chases JBL's limo and puts Triple H in his place. Show ends with Batista declaring that he'd headed to Smackdown... alone!

Wrestling compilation part 2

To follow up with Batista’s promise to appear on Smackdown, I taped the segment of which he appeared. JBL and the Cabinet make their way to the ring and JBL goes into his usual routine of “I am a wrestling God” and so forth. This drags on longer than it has any right to before we finally see Batista arrive at the arena, sporting a nice car. Batista looks to be headed to the ring, but he notices JBL’s limo in the back, and begins to break the windows. This goes on forever too. Finally, Orlando Jordan and the Bashams go back to stop Batista, leaving JBL victim to a confrontation with the Big Show (to hype up No Way Out, where they would have a barbed wire steel cage match). The Cabinet come back to help JBL, and they overwhelm Big Show… that is until Batista makes the save and lays waste to the Cabinet. This segment went on for waaay too long, but the end result was sure satisfying.

Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels vs Edge and Christian

Before I get into the match let me just mention this: it bugs the hell out of me that they don’t mention that in kayfabe terms, Edge and Christian are brothers. Jim Ross refers to them as “former long term partners.” Either way, this was late in Orton’s time as a face, I’m guessing this is from the night after No Way Out. Orton and Christian start the match off, and they get into an aggressive tie-up. Christian forces Orton into a corner before the ref breaks it up. Orton knocks Christian down and does the fucking stupid pose that pisses me off. Christian ties up with Orton again and backs Orton into another corner. Christian breaks the hold and begins to punch and kick away at Orton. Christian whips Orton into the opposite corner, but Orton flips over and catches Christian in a side headlock take-down. Christian gets to his feet and isolates Orton in his corner, making the tag to Edge. Edge whips Orton into a turnbuckle, but once again Orton flips over and attempts a roll-up. Orton wrings the arm of Edge and makes the tag to Shawn Michaels. Michaels reverses a whip by Edge with a knee to the face. Edge comes back and slugs HBK. A tag is made to Christian, but HBK overwhelms his opponent with chops. HBK slams Christian’s head into the corner turnbuckle several times, as Randy Orton claps on like the generic suck-up babyface he was. HBK goes for a cover and almost gets the win. Christian rakes HBK’s eyes and makes the tag to Edge. Edge punches away at HBK, taking him down. Edge participates in the “slam opponent’s head into turnbuckle game” and HBK is helpless. That is, until HBK reverses an Irish Whip with a Lou Thesz press. Edge fights out and makes a tag to Christian. HBK gets an inside cradle on Christian and almost picks up the win. HBK traps Christian in an armbar and even gets Christian’s shoulders to the mat at a few points. The move transitions into a side headlock (very popular move in the WWE) but Christian fights off and whips HBK into the ropes, which HBK reverses into a hip toss. Christian gets up and slams HBK into the mat. Christian lifts up HBK and Irish whips him again, this time Edge pulls the top rope down and HBK goes to the floor. Edge clotheslines HBK on the floor and Jim Ross doesn’t think HBK can recover from that.

We come back from a commercial break and Edge is still beating on HBK. J.R. informs us that HBK was not able to tag in Orton at all during the break. Edge and Christian take turns tagging in and beating on HBK with some fairly generic offense. Still, it’s fun to see HBK get his ass kicked by Christian. HBK makes a brief comeback on Christian, but Christian knocks him down and goes to the top rope. Christian goes for a double ax handle, but HBK punches him in mid-air and Christian flips over. Now both HBK and Christian are down, and the crowd is cheering for HBK to get up. Christian makes the tag to Edge just as Michaels tags in Randy Orton. Orton cleans house on Edge, nearly botching about two spots in just as many seconds. Orton catches Edge and clubs him around the neck area. Meanwhile, Christian tries climbing to the top rope, but Orton knocks him down. Orton takes to the top rope himself and hits a flying crossbody on Edge. Orton makes a cover, but Edge kicks out. Christian hits a cheap shot on Orton from the outside, and Edge goes for a cover on Orton. The crowd buys this as the finish, but Orton kicks out. Edge drags Orton to his corner and makes the tag to Christian. J.R. and King discuss Edge and Christian of having a brilliant strategy by making frequent tags… which basically makes every heel tag team ever brilliant. Christian is now in full control of Orton, and locks on, you’ll never believe it, a REST HOLD! It’s some sort of sleeper, and Orton is his goofy self in selling it. Orton fights out of it, but Christian tags Edge back in. A double team move backfires and Edge and Christian, as Orton catches them both in a double DDT. All three men are down. Orton is up first and makes the tag to HBK. Michaels cleans house on Edge and Christian. HBK hits a back suplex on Christian, but is interrupted by Edge right after. Christian tries to hit the Unprettier on Orton, but Orton reverses it and throws him out of the ring. I don’t even remember who the legal man is. Edge reverses an RKO and pushes Orton right into the referee. Edge hits a spear on Orton right after. HBK attacks Edge and gets a flying clothesline in. HBK goes to the top rope and hits a flying elbow on Christian. Christian must be the most over jobber in wrestling. HBK sets up Christian for the Sweet Chin Music, but Edge cheap shots HBK from ringside. With the ref still down, Edge and Christian go for chairs and prepare to hit their patented “Con Chair Tow” on HBK, but HBK ducks and Edge and Christian hit each other. Christian takes another swing at HBK, but HBK ducks and hits the Sweet Chin Music on Christian. The ref is up in time to see HBK covering Christian for the win. This was a really formulaic tag match, ruined by some goofy stuff from Randy Orton. **1/4

Next up, Theodore Long makes a special appearance on Raw, looking to sign Batista away to Smackdown. Eric Bischoff is already in the ring, both have contracts for their respective brands. Big boos from the audience whenever Smackdown is mentioned. Without any further adieu, Batista comes out, looking pimping. He has Triple H and Ric Flair with him. It brings me great happiness that the World Heavyweight title is far away from Triple H now. Triple H makes it clear that he wants Batista to sign the Smackdown contract so Evolution can take over Smackdown as well. Batista teases signing the contract and gives Flair and HHH thumbs up… which of course is turned into thumbs down. Batista attacks Flair and HHH, and ends up power bombing HHH through the table. This segment is just as satisfying now as it was in March.

WWE Tag Team Championship: Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio © vs Basham Brothers

Rey Mysterio still has the 619 cam, and I vomit. This was the first Smackdown after No Way Out, so Rey and Eddie were newly crowned champions. The Bashams come out to their lame music, and I chuckle because this was the era where the Bashams seemed to find new matching attire every week. Those poor Bashams could not seem to ever find their own identity as a team… ah well. Eddie and Danny start the match off, and somehow I predict there will be a lot of rest holds in this match. Eddie hip tosses Danny around to start things off, catching Damaja off his game. They lock up and Eddie tags Rey in. Rey hits a head-scissors on Danny and tags Eddie in again. Eddie takes control of Danny, shoving his head into turnbuckles and kicking him and such. Danny finally corners Eddie and makes the tag to his brother, Doug. Doug perches on the top turnbuckle and Danny lifts Eddie up to Doug. Doug slams Eddie off the top rope in a good spot. We go to a commercial.

After the break, Eddie and Danny are fighting pretty evenly. Danny Basham hits a neck breaker on Eddie, after Doug crawled under the ring to pull Rey off the apron. Good heel tactics by the Bashams thus far. Eddie dodges a spear attempt by Danny, and into the turnbuckles he goes. The Bashams then continue to use the old heel tactic of making frequent tags and making Eddie the face in peril. Danny Basham puts a surfboard stretch on Eddie, and that makes the first rest hold of the match. Shockingly, Eddie fights his way out of it. Danny continues to focus on the back of Eddie Guerrero, ramming him into the turnbuckle and targeting the back with his punches. Doug Basham is tagged into the match, who puts a single leg Boston crab on Eddie. Eddie is still stuck in the Boston crab, but he almost makes the tag to Rey. The Bashams panic and throw Eddie back into their corner and club away on Eddie’s back. Eddie attempts a comeback and lands some punches and then a dropkick on Danny Basham. Both men are down and need a tag. Eddie makes the tag to Rey, and he immediately hits a springboard plancha on Danny. Eddie remains in the ring and they each take a Basham to opposite turnbuckles and hit a “10 punch.” Rey and Doug are the legal men. Rey hits a second rope moonsault on Doug Basham, but Doug recovers and takes down Rey. Eddie knocks Danny off the apron and almost gets the three amigos on Doug. Danny was set up for the 619, but somehow Rey inadvertently hit the move on Eddie instead. The subtle seeds to their later breakup are already here. The action gets chaotic, but Rey positions Danny for the 619 again and actually hits it this time. Eddie goes to the top rope and hits the frog splash on Danny, letting Rey get the cover for the win. This was a pretty well worked tag title match with a hot crowd and at the time credible challengers. ***1/4 I can’t find my fucking stop watch anywhere, so I can’t say how long the match was, probably about 10 minutes.

Well, this site should help for future viewings: http://www.shodor.org/interactivate/activities/stopwatch/

Spike Dudley vs Paul London

Here we are on another exciting edition of Velocity. Spike comes out wearing a Patriots jersey, so I’m guessing they aren’t anywhere near New England. London is now wearing the tassles. Spike takes early control of London, flipping him over his knee and hitting some weak punches. Spike goes for an inverted atomic drop, but London counters. London takes control of Spike for a few seconds, until Spike slides out of the ring and pulls at London’s leg, slamming it into the post. Spike comes back into the ring and stomps on London, literally. Spike follows this up with a knee to the face of Paul London, and then lifts London up to drag his face across the ropes. Spike continues to hammer on London’s neck with forearms, and London is probably selling this offense more than he should. London tries to get to his feet, but is knocked down with a big boot by Spike Dudley (feels weird typing that). It has been a few minute since London has had any offense here, and it is all Spike punching and kicking. London “hulks up” or in his version, stomps around the ring like a mad man. London hits some forearms on Spike and sends Spike bouncing off the ropes and into a big back body drop. London goes for a cover, but it only gets a 2. London hits a dropsault on Spike after a series of dodging each other off the ropes. Spike goes to the floor, and London runs off the apron with a flying clothesline on Spike. Spike crawls back into the ring and London goes to the top rope. Spike knocks London down and goes for the Dudley Dog. London reverses and hits a Dragon Suplex into a pin and gets the victory at about 4:15! The parts where Spike was in control was really painful, but London picked the pace up for the last minute or two. *3/4.

Street Fight: Shawn Michaels vs Edge

HBK comes out in normal street clothes (ie, jeans and his merchandise). Shawn Michaels takes control in the very beginning, hitting Edge with some punches and then taking his belt off and whipping Edge with it. Me likey. HBK continues the relentless assault on Edge, sending him off the ropes into a big back body drop. Edge retreats to the ringside area, with HBK hot on his trail. HBK punches Edge over the guard rail, and he chases Edge into the crowd where they brawl. By “brawl” I mean Edge gets in virtually no offense. They return to the ringside area, and HBK borrows a camera from a fan at ringside to take a picture of the look of agony on Edge’s face. This has been a freaking fun match thus far. HBK goes under the ring and pulls out a ladder, less than 3 minutes into the match! Before he can do anything, Edge hits HBK in the face with a trashcan lid. The janitors really should clean up better before the show begins. Edge takes control of HBK, throwing him back into the ring. Edge goes under the ring and pulls out a steel chair. Edge sits the chair up in the ring, but walks into a chop by HBK. Edge bounces HBK’s face into the steel chair in a “modified” DDT. We go to a commercial.

After the break, we find HBK bleeding and trapped in a rest hold by Edge. Shawn Michaels is so fucking heroic, how can any of us hate him. Easily. Next, HBK reaches down into his soul to take Edge down again. He finally remembers he set a ladder up earlier and he brings it to the ring. Edge dropkicks the ladder into HBK’s face and goes for the cover. HBK kicks out at 2, because HBK would never let us fans down. Edge has HBK’s blood all over his face, which is kind of gross, but I guess that’s what you can expect when you feud with Shawn Michaels. Edge goes to the top rope, but HBK hits him with the ladder, and Edge falls to the ringside floor. A few fans chant “Holy Shit” at this spot, but it takes more to impress me. HBK does a weak suicide dive through the ropes to take Edge down again. Michaels tosses Edge back into the ring and goes for his trusty ladder again. HBK positions the ladder in the turnbuckle, and then goes to chop Edge all over the ring. He whips Edge into the ladder, but Edge is able to stop himself before impact. Edge surprises HBK with a drop toe hold into the ladder! Edge makes a cover, but it only gets 2. That spot was cool. Edge sets the ladder back up and then scoop slams HBK into his desirable position. Edge climbs the ladder to the top and hits an ugly splash onto HBK. Edge makes another cover, but HBK kicks out again. I wouldn’t job to that splash either. Edge grabs the chair again and waits for HBK to stand up. HBK surprises Edge and slingshots him into the ladder. HBK crawls over to the chair and cracks it over the skull of Edge. Beautiful chair shot, Shawn you son of a bitch. Edge rolls out of the ring and finds a kendo stick under the ring. Who let Tommy Dreamer back into the building? Edge returns to the ring with his treasure and takes a swing at HBK, but misses. Shawn Michaels whips Edge into the ropes and hits a vertical atomic drop on Edge, a scoop slam, and takes the kendo stick for himself. He hits Edge in the head with the stick and Edge is down. HBK heads to the top rope and goes for the flying elbow… and it hits… but HBK is hurt… how tragic. Shawn signals for the Sweet Chin Music, but misses and gets a chair to the groin, courtesy of Edge. Edge doesn’t want to touch that chair anymore, so he goes to the ringside area for a new one. Nevermind, Edge is going for his one man con-chair-toe. HBK low blows Edge just in time to save his skull from being smashed in. HBK goes to hit Edge with the chair, but gets caught with a spear. Edge makes a cover, but Shawn Michaels kicks out… again. Edge is pissed off and rightfully so. Edge signals for a Sweet Chin Music of his own, but gets caught with the real thing. HBK covers Edge for the win at 15:03 (minus commercials). Afterwards, Kurt Angle makes a surprise appearance and beats the holy shit out of HBK. This match had a few cool spots and a few predictable/ugly spots. I’ll be fair and say ***.

Remember back when I reviewed Velocity every week? London/Akio was almost always the shit, and this match was the tip of the iceberg. :)

Compilation tape part 3

Chris Benoit vs Shelton Benjamin

Ooh, I remember this match. It is the really short but really fast paced mini classic they put on in March. This will be tough to keep up with. They quickly tie up and fight for control. They back off after some exchanges. Shelton gets an armbar on Benoit, but Benoit fights out and they are back on their feet. They tie up and Shelton corners Benoit, which the referee breaks. Benoit chops Shelton, and Shelton fires back with some punches. After taking some abuse, Benoit fights back with some chops and lifts up Shelton over the ropes. Benoit chops Shelton to the floor. Benoit goes for a suicide dive, but Shelton moves and Benoit hits a ladder that was set up by the ring (if you’re wondering why it was there, it was to promote the upcoming Money in the Bank ladder match). Shelton rolls Benoit back into the ring and heads to the top rope. Shelton hits a flying clothesline on Benoit and goes for a cover, but only gets a 2. Shelton misses on a Stinger splash and gets caught in a series of German suplexes by Benoit. Shelton counters the fourth suplex with a roll-up but only gets 2 again. Benoit locks on to Shelton again and hits four more German suplexes. Benoit signals for the flying head butt and heads to the top rope. Benoit misses on the head butt, with Benjamin rolling out of the way. Benjamin goes for the cover, but only gets 2 again. Benoit reverses a suplex and goes for the crossface, but Shelton counters into a backslide pin. Benoit kicks out and counters a big super kick by Benjamin. Benoit locks the crippler crossface onto Benjamin, and Shelton taps out after an extended period at 4:31. This was a really short, yet intense and well wrestled contest. **3/4. I would love to see them have a one on one pay-per-view match some day.

Next up is the Undertaker as Dirty Harry. This one was really lame, why didn’t I tape over it? I guess ‘Taker looks cool holding a gun or something.

WWE Tag Team Championship: Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio © vs John Bradshaw Layfield and Orlando Jordan

Good lord, if JBL and Jordan win this, they will be the new two man power trip, since JBL is still WWE Champion and Jordan is the U.S. Champion. Eddie and JBL start the match off, as the crowd chants “Eddie.” Did I mention how much I enjoyed the Eddie/JBL feud in 2004? Eddie starts off fierce, chopping and kicking JBL into the corner. JBL whips Eddie into the ropes and knocks him down. JBL locks in a side-headlock onto Guerrero, but Guerrero pushes JBL into the ropes, and follows up with some arm drags on a clumsy JBL. JBL retreats to the apron and makes the tag to Jordan. OJ jumps around and poses a bit, with Eddie mocking him in response. Eddie slaps Jordan and makes a tag to Rey Mysterio. Mysterio sends OJ into the ropes and then into a headscissors take down. Rey tags Eddie back in, and they briefly double team OJ. Eddie decides to work on the left leg of Jordan, driving his knee into it after twisting it in a modified ankle lock. Eddie tags in Rey, establishing Jordan as the “heel in peril.” Jordan gains some control over Rey and hits Rey with some thrilling and fascinating kicks… Jordan lifts up Rey and punches him, before tagging in JBL. They double Irish whip Rey into the ropes and knock him down again. JBL misses on a big boot, and then tries to powerbomb Rey but it is countered. Rey tags in Eddie, who flips over the top rope onto JBL. Eddie keeps control on JBL, which always brings a smile to my face. Eddie uses a snapmare takedown to put JBL in position for a sleeper. JBL fights out, and Eddie tags in Rey. JBL slams Rey hard on his back with a clubbing blow. Orlando Jordan is tagged back in, and uses his boxing hooks to corner Rey. Isn’t Orlando Jordan full of interesting offense or what! Rey regains control and hits a flying plancha on Jordan. The Bashams briefly get involved, before the referee throws them out. We go to a commercial.

During the break, JBL gained control over Rey and he is beating him up badly. And by badly, I mean with ugly offense. JBL tosses Rey out of the ring, literally, which outrages Michael Cole. Jordan continues the assault on Rey on the outside, ramming him into the apron. JBL gets Rey back into the ring and goes for a cover. Something happened to the crowd during the break, they were into this match before! JBL methodically works on the back of Rey Mysterio, slamming him into the turnbuckles and such. Crowd chants “619” even though Rey can hardly stand, let alone even think about hitting that move. JBL puts Rey into a BEAR HUG! My least favorite wrestling hold ever! Rey fights back by raking JBL’s eyes, so maybe I won’t deduct half a star from the rating afterall! JBL tags Jordan back in, and Jordan hits some elbow drops on Rey before going for a cover. Rey counters with some kicks to Jordan’s gut, but Jordan isn’t done just yet. Jordan puts Rey into a bear hug of his own, and I deduct that half star afterall from the rating. Rey boxes Jordan in the ears to get out of the hold, but Jordan keeps control… up until Rey counters a whip and sets up Jordan for the 619. JBL interrupts the 619, and holds Rey still so Jordan can kick him. A tag is made to JBL, who follows up with the “throw Rey into the turnbuckles” game. Rey hits a great tornado DDT on JBL and both men are down. Rey makes the tag and Eddie cleans house on JBL and OJ. Eddie trips OJ, setting him up for the 619. Rey goes for the move, but gets caught by a chair from JBL. The ref calls for the DQ! The Basham Brothers return to the ring and a beat-down begins. The rating might have been higher without the bear hug spots **. The Cabinet continue to beat down Rey and Eddie until John Cena storms the ring and destroys everyone, with an F-U on Jordan as the highlight.

Paul London vs Akio

Chavo Guerrero is at the commentator’s booth for this contest. The winner here gets a Cruiserweight title shot, though that ended up being forgotten about in place of a battle royal on Smackdown. This should be a tremendous, if hard to keep up with, match. Akio goes for a cover (?) in the early going, but it somehow didn’t work. Fireman’s carry by Akio puts London down, but London rolls out. They circle each other and tie up. London goes to the back of Akio, but Akio rolls out and gets caught in a head lock by London. Akio fights out and wrenches London’s arm. The action is lightning quick, as London gets a side headlock onto London. Akio pushes London into the ropes, and London bounces back to floor Akio. Another side headlock by London and he whips Akio again. This time, Akio slides under the ropes and pouts outside the ring. Akio returns to the ring and they circle each other again. Akio catches London and hits a back suplex on London, then goes for the cover. London kicks out. Akio clubs away at the back of London’s neck and then misses a flying scissor kick and lands on the ropes. Akio misses a running boot and gets hit by a London drop kick. London dodges a spin kick and takes control of Akio, ramming his head into the turnbuckle. Damn, I miss Akio. London clotheslines Akio out of the ring and London begins to signal a suicide dive. London goes to the top rope and hits a flying clothesline onto Akio on the floor! London hit it perfectly!

After a commercial break, London is trying to cover Akio. London corners Akio, whipping him into opposite corners. Akio finally covers with a kick to the knee of London. Akio targets the injured knee, trying to keep his enemy grounded. Akio locks onto London’s leg and wrenches it convincingly. London breaks the hold, but Akio lifts up London’s leg and slams it into the mat. Akio locks the leg again, but London strikes away to free himself. London barely makes it to his feet, but Akio hits a stiff kick to the back of London’s leg. The work on London’s leg continues for several minutes, and London is selling it like a pro. Akio arrogantly kicks London on the back of his head and hits a single leg Boston crab on London. London desperately reaches for the ropes… and gets to the bottom rope! Akio rips off London’s tassels and whips London with it… nice touch. Akio continues the punishment on London’s leg and goes for another cover. London kicks out, further establishing how gutsy he is. It has been several minutes since London got any offense in, Akio looks strong. London finally hits some punches on Akio and hits a drop sault out of no where! Rob Van Dam could learn a lot about selling leg injuries from watching this match. London can still hit bit spots, but continues to sell the leg in the process. London hits a big elbow and then a clothesline on Akio, and then a big body drop! London collapses on his hurt knee, but still hits a great spinning kick on Akio! London barely manages to pull Akio into position for the 450 splash. London takes too much time climbing to the top, Akio gets up and hits a high kick on London’s head. European uppercut on London, and he goes to super-plex London! London reverses the momentum and catches Akio in a pinning predicament for the win at 10:50 (not counting commercial!) This match was great, for different reasons than the other London/Akio match I reviewed. This gets an easy ****.

Chris Benoit vs Tyson Tomko

Benoit is injured from a ladder attack from Tomko earlier. Tomko hits some big kicks on Benoit early on, but Benoit traps Tomko into a German suplex series, ending it with a release suplex. Benoit goes to the top rope and hits a flying head butt on Tomko. Benoit goes for the cover, but Tomko kicks out. Benoit clubs away at the back of Tomko, and goes for another suplex, but Tomko punches out. Tomko mounts Benoit, punching away at him. Tomko waits for Benoit to stand up for a running big boot (don’t fall down this time, Tyson). He misses and gets caught in the crippler crossface for a quick submission victory for Benoit at under two minutes! Even squash matches are fun when Benoit does it! ¾*

Next up is the Taxi Driver spoof video for WrestleMania 21. This one is still amusing. My favorite part is when the stuff on the shelf falls down behind Snitsky and he very defensively claims that it wasn’t his fault.

WWE Tag Team Championship: Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio © vs Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas

Eddie and Holly start the match off, and Eddie quickly locks a side headlock onto Hardcore Holly. Holly fights out, and looks pissed. They lock up again, and Hardcore goes to the back of Eddie. Eddie counters out and goes for a front headlock. Eddie whips off the ropes and Holly leap frogs over Eddie, but then hits a drop kick on Eddie. Holly tags Charlie Haas into the match, and Haas hits some arm wrenches on Eddie. Tag is made to Rey Mysterio, who I am quickly tiring of in this video. Rey positions Haas for the 619 but is interrupted by some Undertaker lighting. How very random, as no Undertaker shows up. Hardcore Holly capitalizes on the distraction by rolling up Rey, but Rey kicks out. Tag is made to Haas, and Haas puts Rey in a surfboard stretch. It takes Rey longer than usual to fight out of this. Haas whips Rey into the corner, but Rey elbows his way out. Rey hits a flying senton on Haas off the ropes and tags Eddie Guerrero in. Eddie cleans house on Haas, hitting a spinning head scissor take down on Haas. He follows this up with the Three Amigos, and then heads to the top rope for a frog splash. Haas rolls out of the way, but Eddie saw it coming. Hardcore Holly enters the ring and hits a full nelson slam on Eddie. Haas goes for the cover, but Eddie kicks out. Haas plants Eddie on the mat and goes for the Haas of Pain! Rey leaps off the top rope onto Haas to break the hold, and then knocking Holly to the floor. Eddie rams Haas into the turnbuckle, and places Haas on the top turnbuckle. Rey leaps up and hits a hurricanrana on Haas. Eddie hits a frog splash and pins Haas for the victory at 6:07. This match had a few fun spots, but mostly just a formulaic match. It could have been better had they let Eddie and Haas go at it. **.

Next up, Kurt Angle comes out to Shawn Michael’s music and does an uncanny impersonation of HBK. He has Sensational Sherri with him. If you recall, they do a horrible musical number to HBK’s music, play an HBK video package, and then Angle attacks Sherri.

Paul London vs Spike Dudley

What, I taped TWO London vs Spike matches? Good lord… what is wrong with me. I don’t even remember this second match. Ah well, it will likely be short, so I’ll review it. London is really getting into his “Cruiserweight warrior” gimmick by this point, it’s a shame it didn’t get more over. Spike has his goatee in a cool looking braid too… just thought I’d mention it. Spike gains early control, hitting a back suplex on Paul London. He follows it up with some choking. London goes to the mat and Spike stomps on London’s face. London no sells and laughs in Spike’s face. London stomps around the ring and chops Spike. Spike runs into some arm drags by London. London hits the “coconut crunch” on Spike after chasing him around the ring. Spike throws London over the ropes, but London skins the cat. Spike catches London during this and drop kicks London to the mat. This match is going a lot better than the first one I reviewed. London is a master bump machine. London reenters the ring, and gets caught in a neckbreaker by Spike, who then goes for the cover and only gets 2. Spike puts London in a single leg Boston crab camel clutch. Yes, you read that right. London reaches for the ropes and makes it. Spike is furious and takes his eyes off of his opponent. London and Spike exchange blows and then chops. London hits a stiff kick on Spike and goes for a cover. Spike is just able to kick out. London hits a dropsault on Spike, and the cover only gets a 2 again. Spike whips London into the ropes, but London counters out with a mule kick. I actually have to rewind a couple of times, I keep missing spots. London hit a suplex variation on Spike, and then catches Spike in a full nelson position. Spike goes to the mat and London goes to the sky. London hits the 450 splash for the win at about seven minutes! The crowd is happy and this was good stuff! **3/4.

Nunzio and Funaki vs Billy Kidman and Akio

Hurray, another cruiserweight match! Kidman is apparently making his 134,034th return from injury with this match. Funaki and Kidman start the match, and Kidman knees Funaki in the stomach and mocks Funaki’s clapping from a minute earlier. Funaki hits a headscissor on Kidman, and heads to the top rope. Flying crossbody by Funaki only gets a two count. Nunzio is tagged in and they double team Kidman. They take turns hitting drop kicks to the face of Billy Kidman. Kidman rakes Nunzio’s eyes and tags in Akio. Akio confidently kicks Nunzio in the head. Nunzio reverses a power bomb attempt by Akio into a small package, but Akio kicks out. Twirt a whirl headscissors on Akio by Nunzio is impressive, and Funaki is tagged in from the momentum. Funaki takes down Akio and puts him in an armbar. Akio corners Fuanki and tags in Kidman. They double team Funaki, who had been doing a good job fighting them both off. Kidman stomps away at Funaki. After a snapmare, Kidman kicks Funaki in the back and goes for a cover. Tag is made to Akio, and Funaki takes some stiff kicks to the head. Backbreaker by Akio looked brutal, and is followed up nicely by a stretch. Akio gives up on the submission and tags Kidman back in. Kidman continues the assault on Funaki’s back with a surfboard stretch. Funaki fights out, but Kidman stops him from making a tag to Nunzio. Funaki kicks Kidman to the mat, but goes down himself. Nunzio is tagged in and hits a swinging neckbreaker on Kidman. Akio interferes but gets caught in a big back body drop. Nunzio catches Kidman in a DDT and Nunzio continues to fight off both men. Suddenly Muhammad Hassan appears on my screen, cutting off this match. Damn. I seem to remember Kidman and Akio winning at about 6:30. Let’s just say *3/4 and call it fair.

Muhammad Hassan (with Daivari) vs Shawn Michaels

Hassan starts off with a really good promo, protesting that he’s been left off of WrestleMania 21 due to bigotry. He mockingly refers to HBK as “Mr. WrestleMania” which of course was a ridiculous thing for Michaels to refer to himself as. I want the last 30 seconds to that cruiserweight tag match back. The bell rings, but both men just stand there. They lock up, and Hassan aggressively hits some punches and kicks on HBK. Hassan whips HBK into the ropes, but HBK flips over Hassan. HBK hits some clotheslines on Hassan before clotheslining Hassan over the top rope. HBK follows Hassan to the mat, where he continues to punch away at Hassan. The action returns to the ring, where HBK continues the thrilling display of punching. Hassan finally gets a boot to HBK’s face and puts him on the mat where he PUNCHES HIM! HBK comes back with some chops, for variety, I guess. Daivari tries to distract HBK, but gets his fingers stomped on as a result. Careful Shawn, that’s a hate crime.

We come back from a commercial, and Hassan had HBK in a surfboard stretch (there’s that move again). During the break, HBK got caught with a backbreaker, sorry I missed that. Hassan tries to cover HBK, but to little luck. Hassan whips HBK into the ropes and into a clothesline. Hassan goes for yet another cover, and it fails yet again. Hassan puts HBK in a rest hold, but HBK is willed to life. That must be the work of God. HBK chops away at Hassan again, and I take a nap. Hassan hits an elbow drop on HBK and continues to kick him. I don’t remember this match going so long the last time I saw it. Hassan aggressively whips HBK into a turnbuckle and follows it up with MORE PUNCHING! After the match, they will probably drink some punch out back. Daivari meanwhile wraps HBK around the ring post and pulls at him. Hassan switches places with Daivari, so he can distract the referee. I was too busy typing to really make sense of that little exchange. Hassan is pleased with himself and looks to the sky for Allah’s wishes. HBK can barely stand, but can fight himself out of a hold by Hassan. Hassan knocks HBK in the spine and locks on the camel clutch! Now this I like. HBK gets to the ropes. Muhammad Hassan makes a gesture across his neck, which offends many. HBK fights back with chops and hits a flying clothesline on Hassan. HBK cleans house on Hassan, punching and kicking and dropping Hassan left and right. HBK hits a scoop slam on Hassan and heads to the top rope for an elbow drop. He hits it and signals for the Sweet Chin Music. He can’t hit it though, because Kurt Angle storms the ring and attacks HBK. Hassan holds HBK still so Angle can hit him. HBK ducks and Angle hits Hassan. Oh, the match sucked, it gets *. Meanwhile, Angle and HBK both fail to hit their finishers on each other. Angle exits through the crowd, while HBK is declared the winner by DQ.

That’s it for now.

Those were some good times. As much as I miss Velocity, I still think Smackdown as a whole is better off without it. I do miss seeing London and Yang tear it up on a regular basis.

Looks like some of the stuff I kept... except for HBK/Hassan and Benoit/Tomko. BLECH!

Back then, DWB was exactly the same, too... minus geist and ES, though.

And we were posting more and optimistic that the board would get many new members and get a main page B)

Yeah, I was trying to get a good sample of different things, especially some particular wrestlers who I didn't think would be around that long :)

I guess you were kind of right, more specifically about Hassan Muhammad.

B)

But yeah, some of the matches I chose to keep are strange ones. Cena vs. Jordan? Suzuki vs. Guerrero? I think I was just over eager to get a lot of matches on my tape.

Don't feel bad.

I taped all the shows from that Japan tour. :D