A bargain-hunting trip nets Chiana an intriguing painting - which brings the crew back into contact with an evil adversary...

Okay. This episode starts well enough (even though it is obvious that Kyvan is a man in drag to anybody that actually has eyes) with the idea of a picture that can tell the future, and the tension really starts to ‘hot up’ (sorry for the bad pun :whistling: ) with the apparent death of Chiana (and, while we're on the subject of Chi, just where the hell did she get that necklace from? She didn’t bring it on board when she arrived?). But then it all goes downhill, and it’s all Zhaan’s fault :angry:

I really don’t like this character and she’s really annoying here with all her moaning and whining. Yes, I know it was (mostly) all to throw Maldis off the scent, but it was just so damn pathetic. And if you’d done the job properly the first time honey, this wouldn’t have been necessary!!!

Favourite quotes
John: "I say we lock all of Moya's doors, we don't let anybody in, we don't let anybody out. That way we get no alien critters, no shape-shifting bugs, no mind-altering viruses, no freaky-deaky artefacts."

It's all about John
John: Haven't you read the Super Villains' Handbook? This is where you're supposed to twirl your mustache and gloat
Maldis: I don't have a mustache John.
John: How you doing old man? You're looking kind of pale. You getting enough sun?
Maldis: Irreverent as ever. I missed that.
John: Yeah, it's been a while, huh? Tell me, what you been doing all this time? Putting yourself back together? And what's it like being - dispersed?
Maldis: Less than pleasant. I sustained myself by concentrating on revenge.
John: Well, here I am dude. Revenge away.
Maldis: Please. You're not even a player. I'm saving my revenge for one who deserves it - Pa'u Zhaan.
John: Oh. I'm crushed. And here I was thinking we both kicked your ass last time.
Maldis: No. She kicked my ass and saved yours. As you say, this magical mystery crap's not your thing. Why do you think that I took you and your two friends first?
John : Because you were lonely?

Pip sums it all up
Chiana: Look- Zhaan laid that bit out for me. Okay - when Maldis recorporealized.....Well, put himself back together - he couldn't yet break through to our physical plane. So he had to manipulate matter to form Kyvan and her ship, and create the painting which would not only bridge both realms but also allow - well, play on, our fears - which would allow him to capture us, and grow even stronger. Clear? (as magical mystery crap) Then when Aeryn blasted Kyvan, which was actually just an temporary extension of Maldis, it weakened Maldis enough for Zhaan to make her move. Simple.

Real simple Pip :lol:

There you go! Was it that difficult? :thumbsup:

In a word, Yes :ph43r:

Now shame me with your own, super-duper, high quality, highly insightful, semi-professional review.

Go on, I dare ya!

So after the triumphant highs of TWWW we have this pile of dren.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that that thinks that about Zhaan, I haven't liked her at all this series so far.

Zhaan bores me to tears. She's the Farscape equivalent of Deanna Troi. :rolleyes: :lol:

I hope you're not waiting for me to review this ep, before putting new ones up Steve ;)

Not a brilliant episode, especially after the excellent TWWW. The return of Maldis. Not much to say really, it was kind of obvious all the way through, with the exception of Maldis returning anyway.

Agree with above reviews, zhaan, not the greatest of characters :rolleyes:

LOL at Chianna's recap of events. John as usual, had some great dialogue, of the sarcastic, but funny variety (see Melian's review ;) )

That's about it folks :lol: :lol:

No, not waiting. Haven't had time to watch it yet. Far more important things to do - like finding non-spoily banners :lol: ;)

Anyways, I'll post the next two up so you guys can race on ahead of me. :rolleyes:

"Fear and the terror of helplessness. These are a few of my favourite things."

Well, The Way We Weren't was always going to be a tough act to follow and, if anything, this episode emphasises the uneven nature of the first half of season 2: the worst episode of the series (Taking The Stone), followed by two of the best (Crackers... and TWWW), followed by a couple of mediocre ones.

Picture If You Will isn't even a particularly bad episode. The first half works pretty well. The scene between D'Argo and Chiana is special, as is the one between John and Aeryn (but then they're never in a bad scene together ;) ). In some nice character continuity it's good to see Aeryn not even batting an eyelid when Pilot tells her to kill Kyvan, although the part that interested and amused me the most was her (and Rygel's) reaction to Chiana's apparent death.

Rygel: She was quite a lot like me you know. Had spirit, ambition, large appetites. She would have made an excellent Hynerian.

But it all goes a bit stale when we learn that it is Maldis that is behind the trouble. Sure, the scenes inside his picture are very surreal in a 60s Time Tunnel/Land Of The Giants kind of way, but I have never found Maldis to be even remotely threatening or engaging as a villain, even going back to his original appearance in season 1's That Old Black Magic.

On the plus side some of the shattering glass effects are very effective, and they even manage to make Maldis' giant hand look less than hokey.

John: Is that son-of-a-bitch gone for good this time?
Zhaan: With a being like Maldis we can never be entirely certain.
John: Zhaan, this would have been a really good opportunity for you to lie. You know, "Sure John, he's toast, strike him off your Christmas list, stick a fork in him he's done, he's over, the fat lady is singing". It doesn't have to be true Zhaan, but I certainly would have slept better.

But, in the end, this episode can't possibly hope to stand up against the brilliance of the two episodes that preceded it, or the excellence of later in the season that is quickly approaching. Even the series trademark characterisation and usual sparkling dialogue cannot save it from being ordinary.

And you have to worry when the writers find it necessary to have one of the characters explain the whole plot in a scene right at the end, just in case we didn't understand.

Passable but nothing special.

Glad it's not just me that didn't like this one then :lol:

As Steve says, starts out well enough, but goes downhill rapdily during the latter half of the episode.

I could probably just about handle Zhaan, but I couldn't stand Maldis in the earlier story, and I like him even less as a character here. As soon as you realised it was him I lost interest pretty quickly.

You're right, TWWW is a tough act to follow, but even had the preceding episode been half of good it would have outclassed this one.

Fingers crossed that Zhaan did finish the job this time :rolleyes:

Totally agree. The second half of the episode has a very odd feel to it, almost (although it's nothing specific) like and episode of a 60s or 70s sf series like Land of the Giants or Space 1999, but it doesn't pull it off.

Edit: And I've just realised that I've totally repeated what I said in my original post :rolleyes:

Well, it's not even 9 am yet :lol:

It's your age mate ;)

Undoubtedly :lol:

Totally agreed, it starts off well and there is some good dialogue in this ep but Maldis is a really annoying character and the episode doesn't really hold much interest.

Not one of the best by any means. I do enjoy the first scenes though, exactly as you say before we find out its Maldis.

And Ow for the head crunching

:lol: