I haven't got anything complete that I can post. What I do have is a number of sections that are all part of one big idea that I have been working for some time. There is a rather long introductory piece, which I may break down and post later, and several shorter character introductions, of which this is one.

Lisa, thanks for all the advice over copyright, which I have done as suggested ;)

I won't go into detail about the overall story - it's top secret! :lol:

If anyone's got any comments I'd be very interested :)

Tobias

Tobias was in the zone.

The bar was crowded; a heaving mass of sweaty, inebriated flesh that undulated and pulsated around him. He loved it; this sort of environment made satisfaction easy. Techno-rock pumped out of the audio system; speakers embedded in walls, floor and ceiling made the enclosed space vibrate, interlaced with the constant din of chatter and the swaying energy of dancing bodies. Coloured lights shifted and dimmed, shifted and dimmed – beams cutting through the miasma of smoke and bullshit to stroboscopic effect, picking out a face here, a face there but never lingering long enough to allow recognition.

Three men had already approached and offered to buy him drinks. Tobias turned them down; he didn’t need alcohol to complete his task, the pills he’d popped an hour earlier elevating his senses, heightening his awareness. He felt like he had eyes in the back of his head and his own security cameras hovering above; an out-of-body experience with hands-on control.

The zone was a cool place to be.

Tobias had spotted his target over ten minutes ago, the ID and targeting sensors in his augmented right eye zooming in and locking on and dissecting the thick atmosphere like a scalpel slicing through skin. He moved slowly but purposefully through the crowd, never losing sight of his goal.

A hand touched him lightly on the shoulder; another offer of a drink and a glint in an eye that suggested payment would be expected later. He shrugged the man off. Sometimes it was a chore to look so good in women’s clothing. Tobias enjoyed cross-dressing, had even liked it before he found his dream profession. Now the ability to adopt a disguise came as an added bonus. Tonight he was wearing a light leather jacket over a black crop top, ankle-length skirt and running shoes. The flowing skirt made it easy to hide the tools of his trade. He had shaved his head for this job, his androgynous features painted with the subtlety of a feminine touch, avoiding anything that would draw unwanted attention. The lenses he was using changed his eyes from their naturally piercing blue to hazel.

The target had taken a booth beyond the dance floor. Tobias decided it was the perfect time to make his move; the crowd was virtually blocking all view of the table and paying absolutely no attention to the shadowy figure sitting there. He glided serenely through the crowd, moving with the beat.

When he reached the booth he gazed down longingly at the man who sat there. His earlier estimates had been pretty much spot on; the guy weighed around two twenty and stood about six three. His eyes were buried behind reflective sunglasses, his mouth set in a thin-lipped line. The black flight suit that he was wearing indicated that he hadn’t long since disembarked from his transport (Tobias new this to be true anyway, seeing as he had been tracking him ever since his arrival). The handcuff that glinted around his left wrist was attached to a sturdy, shining silver case that sat on the seat beside him, strategically placed so that both his body and the table were between his cargo and the crowd.

Tobias didn’t know the guy’s name. This time he didn’t want to know it.

“Dance with me?”

Tobias heard the words sliding out of his mouth in that strange effeminate tone he slipped into so easily, much as with the clothes he wore. He could feel his features settling into his sexiest come-get-me expression. His disguise was complete.

“Piss off,” the target said. He didn’t even look up, didn’t even spare this incredibly alluring woman a single glance. Instead he looked around and then back down at the table.

Tobias felt insulted. He leaned in closer, until his eyes were reflected back in the mirrors, and ran his left hand through the target’s incredibly greasy hair.

“Get off me,” the guy growled. He tried to pull Tobias’s hand away but it was locked firmly in the hair at the back of his neck.

Tobias told him, “I simply asked you for a dance. There’s no need to be impolite.” He let go of the man’s hair and flicked his wrist back. The eight inch stiletto that was concealed in the sleeve of his jacket was attached to a spring-loaded delivery mechanism strapped to his arm which shot it out and into the vulnerable spot at the base of the man’s skull. Done right this would kill instantly, with no mess and barely a trace of an entry wound.

Tobias did it perfectly.

The thrill of the kill never failed to move him, even though there wasn’t so much as a hint of a struggle here. The man’s expression hadn’t changed; he probably hadn’t even realised that he was dead yet.

Tobias took his left hand away, placing his right hand on the man’s chest to stop him from slumping forward and pushing him back in the seat. He quickly pushed the stiletto back into the safety of his sleeve and slid into the booth beside his target. Pulling the man’s head back, he began to kiss and lick at the exposed throat whilst his right hand sped through the pockets of the flight suit. Nobody in the place noticed that there had been a death in the booth.

The key was secreted in the guy’s pubic hair. Tobias stifled a gasp when he found it then smiled as he pulled it free. He had to stop kissing long enough to unlock the wrist cuff and transfer it to his own, dropping the key down the front of his top. The case was heavy but he managed to ease it past the corpse and onto his lap. Then he gently allowed the man to fall forward and arranged his body so that it looked like he was asleep with his head resting on his arms.

Tobias stood up to leave, slipping swiftly into the mass of bodies on the dance floor. He knew instantly that something was wrong. Four figures were approaching the booth. His augmented eye picked out their weapons. He’d cut it too fine, failing to account for the man’s own rendezvous. Normally in his profession the key was to remain calm and inconspicuous. Unfortunately the lead weight of the case in his left hand was a bit of a giveaway. He began to push people out of his way, indiscriminately swinging the case to and fro. The exit was thirty feet away. He could hear voices behind him; a commotion over by the booth. He started to run.

A blaster pulse burned the air six inches above his head, ripping through the smoky atmosphere. The neon strips that formed the words “LaGrange Point” above the exit exploded with a shower of sparks and glass. People in the crowd looked around bemused. Several hit the floor. Tobias chanced a glance over his shoulder and saw two men heading towards him, yelling at people to get out of the way. He reached the exit and hurled himself through the doors and into the crowd that was gathering there. Tobias marveled at the voyeuristic nature of the mob; they realised he was the one being chased and shot at and yet still gathered around trying to see what was happening.

He forced his way through and out onto the concourse. The station curved gracefully away from him on either side, shops and restaurants and cinemas and nightclubs fading away into the distance on this, the mall level. Above him, revealed by an architects whim of glass and girders, the stunning vista of deep space spun like diamonds scattered on ebony. It was late into station night and yet the area was still a throng of life. Public address announcements boomed out above the buzz of conversation and revelry. He glanced left then right and saw the other two pursuers - one male, one female - heading his way from LaGrange Point’s other entrance. Tobias turned to his left and ran.

“Stop!” came the shout from behind.

Tobias sensed the shot coming before he heard it. He dived to his right, tumbling through a small knot of partygoers as the pulse hit the ground barely five feet behind him. Like a cat he landed on his feet and kept running, ripping off the ankle-length skirt to reveal his weaponry. The blaster rifle that swung between his legs was the most efficient of the arsenal at his disposal. He yanked it up instinctively, tearing it off the hook on his newly revealed leggings. Another shot exploded in an ice cream machine on the counter of a stall he was passing. The air turned blue as the owner vented his frustration. Tobias threw himself to the left, twisting in mid air, bringing the rifle up to chest level and squeezing off two shots at his pursuers before he landed with a grunt on his right shoulder and skidded across the concourse into an alleyway on the far side. Both shots missed; he put it down to a miscalculation based on the added weight of the case in his left hand. As the thought passed through his mind he was up and running again. He ducked into another alley and into a maintenance alcove two yards from the corner. It was dark and quiet away from the main concourse; the steel door at his back was cold. His augmented senses kicked in again, his right eye providing him with all the illumination he needed. He reattached the rifle to his belt, unlocked the cuff from his wrist and quickly put the case behind a nearby stack of crates, massaging his wrist absent-mindedly as he returned to the alcove.

He could hear footsteps now, harsh whispers and instructions, and he began to calm himself, breathing deeply, heading for a heightened state of awareness. He counted two sets of footsteps but knew that the others couldn’t be far behind. They were creeping down either side of the alleyway that he had just vacated. The one on his side - the man judging by the weight of his footfalls - was approaching the corner. The woman was hanging back slightly. Tobias pulled the rifle up again and flattened himself into the alcove, as deep into the shadows as he could go.

The footsteps paused briefly at the corner and then the man swung around into the alley. In one smooth movement Tobias grabbed the barrel of the man’s weapon with his left hand and pulled across his body. The man stumbled forward onto the muzzle of his attacker’s rifle, their noses almost touching as Tobias pulled the trigger. The shot was muffled by the man’s bulk, but the results were not, the pulse punching a gaping hole in his abdomen, an oil-slick of blood and innards splashing across the ground behind him.

Tobias wrestled the man’s weapon from his grip as the corpse fell away. His breathing remained calm and even all the while, allowing him to keep tabs on the woman. She had stopped moving completely now, whispering - obviously into a comm unit. It would only be minutes before the other two arrived. Tobias needed to take care of business.

He stepped out of the alcove with a pistol in his left hand and the rifle in his right, edging towards the corner of the alley. His right eye fed nightvision information into the targeting sensors, scanning the area around him then feeding back the news that he would be invisible to the naked eye in the current lighting. He stopped with his back to the wall, lowering the pistol to his side whilst resting the rifle on his shoulder. Then he looked round the corner.

The heel of the woman’s palm crashed into his nose. Blood spouted, stars spun. She came around the corner, wearing nightvision goggles, as Tobias stumbled sideways, dropping his weapons, trying to regain his balance. Time slowed; Tobias looked back at her as she raised her pistol and lashed out with a perfectly controlled left foot that connected with her wrist just as she pulled the trigger. The shot ricocheted off the steel door above and to his left and destroyed a chain link fence ten feet away. He didn’t stop to watch the pyrotechnics. No sooner had his foot made contact with the ground than he shifted his balance onto it and brought his fist up and under the woman’s jaw, sending her backwards against the wall.

Another shot issued involuntarily from her pistol, rippling up into the night sky to explode against an invisible obstacle high above. Tobias grabbed her wrist with his left hand, his right closing around her throat, pinning her left arm behind her. She moved to bring her knee up into his groin but he twisted his body at the last second, deflecting her blow. She made barely a sound as he smashed her gun hand against the steel door, forcing her to relinquish her grip on the weapon, squeezing tighter and tighter until her could feel the bones in her wrist snap. That done he reached up and tore off her goggles and looked into her bulging eyes.

“They’ll hunt you to the rim of the galaxy,” she choked, trying to suck in air past the obstruction at her throat and failing miserably. “You’ll never get away.”

Tobias leaned in close and whispered seductively in her ear, “Watch me.” And with that he took her head in both hands and gave it a short sharp twist, breaking her neck cleanly; she dropped without a sound.

He stood over her for a moment, quietly composing himself. In the distance he could hear sirens and raised voices, the aftermath of the shootout on the concourse. He walked over to the crates and fished the case out from behind them and the shadows became his friend.

Wow, that's very good Steve! :thumbsup:
Any idea when the next installment will be up? :)

Great to read this again!!!! Keep it up :D

I really enjoyed that Steve, and hope to see some more of your work :) :thumbsup:

Thanks guys :D

I'll post some more soon :)

Well, I've already told you how much I like this - glad to know that you'll be updating it!!

:D

Don't expect the whole book, though! :lol:

Ok. Just another chapter would do ;)

Pretty good Steve :thumbsup:

Nice atmosphere!

Cheers Hippy :D

That's really good Steve, I hope you post some more :thumbsup:

Thanks Laura. :D

This is part of the opening. I'm going to post it in small sections cos it's quite long. :)



KING

The beast moved through the forest with the stealth and grace that came from instinct, stalking its prey effortlessly, aware of everything and yet totally concentrated on only one. Even when its target disappeared from sight the animal’s other heightened senses tracked it every step of the way. It gained pleasure from the chase, awaiting the precise moment to unleash its ferocious attack. The meal that lay ahead would be that much more to savour if all went according to plan. Top of the food chain - born to kill, to survive, to rule. King in this jungle.

A twig snapped somewhere off to its right. The angular, predatory head swung in that direction, saliva spraying from the massive fangs that overhung the jawbone, yellow eyes narrowing and focusing on the shadows, nose worrying at the air. Its right forepaw froze in mid air, all motion gone from the sleek, muscular body, defensive reflexes poised to kick into action. A low, menacing growl came from deep in its throat. Branches swayed in a light breeze. The only other movement came from insects which buzzed and swooped, oblivious to the killing machine in their vicinity. The animal ignored them.

A moment later a bird burst from the undergrowth with a squawk. The beast slowly lowered its paw back to the ground and returned its attention to its prey, which was now further ahead than it would have liked. A minor inconvenience. It bounded silently up onto a fallen tree that lay across its path and down into the undergrowth on the far side. Rays of sunlight broke hazily through the canopy overhead, dancing lightly on the forest floor, yet the beast was consumed by shadows.

Up ahead the undergrowth began to thin. There was a clearing in the distance and its prey was moving in that direction. The animal’s predatory instincts moved into overdrive, thrusting it forward with a burst of adrenaline. It was the perfect time to strike - there would be no cover, no safe haven for this inferior creature. With long, loping strides it moved into attack position, still downwind of its prey, yet not so worried now about any noise that might draw attention to itself. There would be no escape.

The prey obviously sensed that something was wrong. It turned at the edge of the clearing and looked back into the depths of the jungle. Not a sensible thing to do, its eyes having just been dazzled by the unabated sunlight now saw nothing but darkness in the undergrowth. The animal was now only twenty metres away, circling slightly to the right, crawling so that its brown belly was touching the ground. It sensed death. The creature in its sights turned away and started out across the clearing.

When it was half way across the beast made its attack, breaking from the trees at top speed, powerful limbs driving it towards its meal. It realised that it had made a fatal mistake almost immediately. A muted pulse of sound issued from the trees behind and to its right. Almost instantaneously its hind legs were ripped from underneath it, knocking its rear end sideways and spinning it around so that it was facing back in the direction from which it came. Pain coursed through its body. It tried to lever itself into an upright position, using its front legs alone, but failed with a deafening roar. Fangs glistened in sunlight. Slumping back to the ground it licked plaintively at its rear limbs. There was no blood, no damage to see, yet they were completely dead. It roared again, the pain of injury and defeat wounding its mind.

Another creature, almost identical to the one it had been stalking, was walking towards it from the cover of the trees. The beast scratched at the ground, determined to make one final stand, survival instincts trying to take over. Sunlight glinted off a shape that the new creature was cradling. It stopped when it was barely five metres away, frustratingly out of reach of the deadly claws. The animal howled now, anticipating its own death. A moment later it was put out of its misery.

Fantastic detail Steve, its great! :D

Another great part Steve :thumbsup:

Thanks guys :D

I'll post the next part in a day or two ;)

Are you deliberately keeping us in suspense? We're not gonna have to knock your door down when you refuse to post the next part are we? ;)

:lol: :lol:

No! But please don't expect it to be anywhere near complete - because it's not. I'll post the bits I'm happy with so far, but it's probably best that I tell you this now - none of them will tell you much about the main plot, they really are just introductions to characters and some loose ideas about style and so forth. At the moment most of it is still in my head! :rolleyes:

Thats where all the best fic is, in the head. Look forward very much to whatever you do want to post :lol:

Great Steve :D

Only just read the second bit, another big :thumbsup:

Looking forward to some more :D

Thanks everyone. :D

Here's the next bit, carrying straight on. Like I said, it's a long section!


KING Part 2

Ryan King stood over the animal’s body and looked down at it with more than a little sorrow. It was a magnificent creature, fully twelve feet long from the tip of its snout to the tip of its tail. It reminded him, vaguely, of an animal he had seen in pictures in a history text from Earth: a panther, he seemed to remember. Only much more deadly.

A shadow moved across his vision. He looked up at the animal’s prey - one of his crew, James Connolly.

“Jesus Christ!” Connolly gasped. “Jesus Christ! Are you trying to tell me that that thing was following me?”

Ryan looked back down at the creature and nodded slowly. “Yep. Sabretooth. It was tracking something for about twenty minutes, as far as I can tell. I didn’t realise it was you.” He crouched down and examined the animal for injury. The carbines they were using had been specifically designed to stun without such problems but it was always best to check. The science team was here to observe, not begin again the genocide which had plagued wildlife on Earth. “You should be more careful,” he observed.

He thought back a few minutes. “I can’t believe how sharp its senses are. I was forty metres away from it and stood on a twig - a small twig - and it knew I was there.”

“Yeah, very nice,” James observed, glaring at him, squinting against the sunlight. “And while you’re doing your great white hunter impression it bites my head off.”

“I think it was enjoying itself,” King thought aloud. “It had you right where it wanted you and wasn’t in any kind of hurry.” He swung the rifle up onto his shoulder and took his comms unit from his belt. He keyed the channel open. “This is King. Got one.”

After a brief pause the reply came back from the camp. “We’re on our way.”

They were roughly four miles from the landing site. It would have been next to impossible for the two of them to carry the animal back to the camp, let alone if he had been on his own. Now all they had to do was wait for McMichaels to send one of the carts and they could all ride back in a certain amount of comfort. Once there the creature would be examined, tagged and registered and then released.
He turned back to James. “They’re on their way,” he said, starting to unclip his backpack. “Let’s get this one ready to move.”

Yellow eyes watched them from the trees.

oooooh. Interesting. How long did it take you to write in such good detail??

Blimey Kate, that was quick! I only just posted it! ;) :D

Um, it took me ages just to right this part. Originally I was aiming just to write a short story called "King" about these hunters but then I started coming up with ways to tie it in to the other stuff about Tobias and various other characters.

One day I might actually put it all together! :rolleyes:

I'm still not sure about that character name, though. "Ryan King". When I read it now it sounds too much like a Japanese version of a Disney movie. :unsure: :lol:

I read at speed, a book is never long enough for me :lol:

More good stuff :D

Can't you post a crap instalment so I don't feel so uncomfortable giving out more compliments :P ;)

Seriously though - I've read far worse stuff than this. The dialogues sharp, the description concise and it all builds up a nice atmosphere :thumbsup:

Another great part :thumbsup:

You guys really are too kind! :D

I can see you're going to "encourage" me to finish the damn thing! :lol:

A crap instalment (just for Hippy! :lol: ;) ):


KING Part 3

Reese had been tracking the animal for over an hour. The first telltale had been its spoor, followed by footprints in the mud that led off into the undergrowth. He had continued in their general direction even after they disappeared and soon picked up the trail again.

Now he was within thirty metres of the sabretooth, watching as it gnawed on the carcass of its latest kill. He had watched the attack from a greater distance, marvelling at the animal’s superior instincts as it cornered its deer-like prey. As he moved closer he made sure that he stayed downwind, almost walking on tiptoe as he watched the fangs rip flesh. The sight chilled him. This animal was looking a bit worse for wear: one of its fangs was broken and a nasty pink scar ran from its left eye down its neck to its shoulder. Reese thought it added character.

He was within range now and the animal was as still as it was ever going to be. In the shadow of a huge tree, leaning against its trunk for balance, he raised the rifle to his shoulder and looked calmly through the laser-guided sight, closing his left eye. Somehow it seemed wrong to shoot such a magnificent creature in the back, even if it was only a stun charge. It gave him pause for thought.

But not much. He pulled the trigger. The rifle emitted a muffled crack and failed. Reese’s left eye snapped open. Ahead of him the sabretooth was a blur of motion. The sound, as quiet as it had been, was enough to send it whirling in mid air, landing facing in his direction, fang and a half bared and ready to tear. Calculating yellow eyes picked out its assailant even in shadow.

Reese, meanwhile, was fighting with the weapon. He ejected the power clip - remembering in his panic that McMichaels had assured all of them that the weapons were tested and ready to go - pulled a new one from his belt and slapped it into place, continually glancing up at the advancing animal.

The sabretooth was taking its time. It could sense the creature’s fear, see it in its hurried, spasmodic movements. It roared and started to move in for the kill.

Reese raised the rifle again, aimed, fired. Same result. “Shit!” he muttered, pushing himself away from the tree and backing hurriedly away from the animal, which was now barely thirty feet away. He didn’t dare turn his back on it. Somehow the idea of losing sight of it made his death seem more inevitable. It was as though still seeing it meant he could still deal with it. He fired again, from the hip this time, not even bothering to aim. The gun crackled, discharged and leapt from his hands, exploding as it did so, sending him flying.

He landed flat on his back, his head thumping against a tree trunk. His left arm was dead from the electric shock. The sabretooth appeared to have been slightly put off by the explosion as it had halted its advance. Only slightly, though, because once it assessed Reese’s predicament it moved in again.

Reese, one armed and dazed, tried to shrug out of his backpack. Propping himself up against the tree he dug frantically through its contents, finding his salvation in the shape of his trusty sawn-off double-barrelled shotgun, loaded and ready to rock. He gazed at it for a moment with an uncomfortable degree of fondness then, cradling the barrels in the crook of his left arm, he pulled the hammers back. Adrenaline pumped through his veins.

When he looked up the sabretooth was ten feet away, crouched and about to pounce. He looked deep into its eyes and saw no anger, no fear, no hatred, just a purity of nature that drove it to eat, to sleep and to breed. Reese was simply another meal.

The thought calmed him a little. One-handed, he swung the shotgun around, finger resting lightly on the triggers.

“Here kitty kitty,” he muttered.

The shot echoed around the forest. A cacophony of frightened squeals and squawks followed in its wake. The sabretooth reacted in exactly the manner he had expected. It had never heard such a noise. Even such a huge and majestic creature was frightened. It leaped backwards and then spun on its hind legs and pounded into the safety of the forest.

In the trees yellow eyes watched Reese bring the shotgun to his lips and blow across the barrels, a gunfighter from a bygone age.

Wow... where do you get all this from... I can imagine everything thats going on by the pictures the words are creating it my head, its great :o

I thought I asked for a crap instalment ;) :P

I'll just stick with :thumbsup: and see previous posts re glowing praise :D

:lol: :lol:

Cheers both of you! :D

Just out of interest, what do you think of the character names? For some reason I can't seem to come up with ones that I'm really happy with - Ryan King being the obvious example.

I thought the names were fine :)

Ryan King's as good a name as any! (And considerably better than Wayne :rolleyes: )

:lol: :lol: :lol:

KING Part 4

McMichaels took the call. “What’s wrong?” he demanded. He ran a scarred hand across his close cut grey hair, wiping the sweat away.

“What’s wrong?” the voice came back, mimicking him. It was Reese. “You might want to get some weapons that work next time, that’s what’s wrong. I nearly got torn to pieces thanks to these pieces of crap you’re making us work with.”

McMichaels wasn’t about to apologise. “What happened? We heard a gunshot.”

“I had the damn thing in my sights and your ‘weapon’ exploded. Nearly took my arm off.”

“So you…”

“So I gave it a bit of a fright.” There was a pause. “Now you’re going to tell me that I should have let it kill me so that you could have studied its feeding habits, right?”

“I was thinking about it,” McMichaels growled, lighting a cigarette.

“Well screw you and the horse you rode in on. I’m sitting here barely able to move. Send someone out to get me. Now!”

McMichaels watched the comm panel as the frequency was replaced by Reese’s homing beacon. Never work with animals or incompetent humans, he thought ruefully.

He turned to Jerry Orban, the co-pilot. “Go and get him,” he said. “And make sure you give him a rough ride on the way back.”

Orban grinned and headed for the second cart.

Another great couple of installments :thumbsup:

I'm really enjoying reading this story :)

Cheers Laura :D

YAY another installment. Great as usual :D

Still :thumbsup:

Out of curiousity do you find it quite hard doing dialogue?

On the rare occasions I decide to try and be creative I always end up getting stressed with the dialogue side of things and can't seem to get it to flow (if you see what I mean) :unsure: