Hi all,

I haven't posted in months, I'm not sure why I'm posting now, this will be the first time I've tried to put this into words, but I guess it will save me a little heartache if I ever do come back and post regularly.

As some of you are aware, my Mom's had an ongoing battle with brain surgeries due to a multitude of aneurysms and a huge AVM which at the end, covered 25 percent of her brain. How she managed to be as brave and as devoted as a Mom and a Nan throughout the last decade I'll never know.

Mom went into the QE hospital on the 6th Jan for a supposed 'routine operation', ie, we thought they were going to coil an aneurysm that had changed shape over the last 12 months. Unfortunately, they decided to tackle Mom's AVM with an embolisation, which throughout the last few years, is a treatment that has been very succesful on smaller AVM's. They then also attempted to embolise the aneurysm but had to abandon the surgery due to safety reasons.

Mom inititally came round from the procedure, but within an hour, she has a massive brain haerrmorage and slipped into a coma. they took her back to surgery and fitted a drain into her brain to try and eleviate the pressure, and to drain some of the blood.

On the tuesday, Mom had started to respond to pain stimulation, but had still not gained conciousness. The drain was doing its job, and the fluid had started to clear. Obviously we left the hspital that night feeling very positive.

On the next day, just before visiting, Mom deteriorated, and had a stroke, which I think pretty much wiped out any possibility of Mom ever being Mom again.

By thursday 10th jan, the head of NCCU pulled my brother any myself aside, and told us, they wished to turn the machines off that was keeping my Mom alive. They told us there was absolutely no hope left and we had no choice but to let them. We were warned that Mom would probably suffer more strokes and that there was possibility that she would feel the pain. They wanted her to be able to go in as little pain as possible.

My Mom died at 9pm on Thurs 10th Jan. She was 57 years old. I can't possibly put into words how I'm feeling and just how hard getting to today has been. We were only able to hold Mom's funeral last friday, as Mom's death will go to a full inquest. We're not sure what to do now, as all my family are feeling that Mom was 'murdered' by an over ambitious neurosurgeon. We had all been told every year for the last decade, that Mom's AVM was inoperable due to its size, and its location in the brain. If we'd known what they plannewd to do, we'd never have allowed it but they managed to convince my Mom, without consulting any one of us, an hour before they took her into surgery.

My Mom walked into that hospital healthy and happy and very much looking forward to the birth of her newest grandchild, and as far as I'm concerned, they killed her.

Lisa, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. :( It sounds like it's been a terrible time for you.

So, so sorry Lisa. Losing a parent is not an easy thing to deal with especially if it is so unexpected.

Lisa, I`m so sorry that your Mom died. :hug:

My Mum died 10 years ago and there isn`t anything I can say which will make you feel any better ; I think that anyone who reads your post will be upset for you and horrified at the way your Mom died.

My deepest condolences to you and your family.

Edit : A friend who`s a solicitor says that her firm has a clinical negligence department ; I don`t know if that`s something you`re considering ? I can get you the contact details if you want. :unsure:

Lisa, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I can't even begin to imagine what you've been going through, but you're in our thoughts.

I'm sure that there are more than a few of us here that miss you, but right now sounds like a time for family.

The situation you described sounds highly dubious, if it were me, I'd take legal advice to see where you stand.

Take care, we're here if you need us for anything.

James

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Lisa. My thoughts are with you and your family.

I'm so sorry Lisa.

Grief is different for all of us, but the one thing that I do know is that nothing anyone says can make it any easier, it is just nice to feel that people are there for you.

My thoughts and wishes go to you and your family,

Karen

so sorry to hear of your loss, Lisa :(

I'm so sorry to hear of this Lisa. My condolences to you and your family at this difficult time :(

Lisa I'm so sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you and your family.

Take Care,

Joe

Sorry to hear of your loss Lisa....

Nothing I can add that has not already been said above......

Be strong........

Deepest condolences to you and your family Lisa.

So sorry to hear of your loss, Lisa.

It is an awful loss, the pain you must be feeling is horrendous. You are entitled to be angry, I hope they admit that they have contributed to your family's loss. I used Robbi to get struggle through the grief, I'm sure your family will provide the same hope in a time in your life that is so dark.

Her death is a tragic loss and my deepest sympathy goes out to you Lisa.

Oh, Lisa :tear:

Tony and I both send our heartfelt condolences to you, to lose someone who has literally been with you all your life is something that I can only (but don't want to) imagine.

Your mother sounds like she was a true gem though, so remember her like that, keep in mind her love for all of you, and your love for her.

Again, all my love and hopes for the future.

I'm sorry for your loss Lisa. *hugs*

That was hard to read.

Sorry to post the above and disappear... It's taken quite a bit of time to try and feel even the slightest bit normal. I'm still completely devestated but at least I'm kinda coping with day to day stuff now. Kids are wonderful creatures.... they provide so much distraction it's hard to think about anything that isn't about them. I'm listening to music again, which is better. Haven't watched TV since it happened though, just seems wrong somehow.

I've had the inquest date come through. We were expecting it at around June/July, but it's a lot sooner than we anticipated, now it's May 16th.... 2 days before my due date... it's making me just a little bit nervous. Don't really want to be a 100 miles from home that close to the birth, so hopefully I can get through it without getting stressed to bits.

Thanks for all the messages, I know theres not an awful lot you can say at times like this .

Hope you're all keeping well :)