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| The creators of Enterprise claim that the new series will go where no previous Star Trek has ever gone before - because it's the first time that Gene Rodenberry hasn't tried to cop off with any of the female cast. It's a well known fact that the intergalactic Walrus of Love slipped several lengths of Rodenberry sausage to Nichelle Nichols and that he chalked a second notch on the Enterprise bedpost when his wife played Deanna Troi's mum in The Next Generation. When he died, Elvis-like, eating a burger and sitting on a pile of unmade scripts of Earth 2, it was thought that his Trek leching days where over, but it's rumoured that before Deep Space 9 one of the cast had a liaison with him. "I can't tell you who it is," said one Trekkie dribbling down his StarFleet uniform, "but we're certain that Terry Farrell had an alien lifeform pulsating inside her body - and it wasn't a Trill." Jeri Ryan (7 of 9) thought she would be immune from Gene's loins (on account of him being dead), but while she was in bed with Brannon Braga, his script ideas reached a point of critical absurdity, collapsing the fabric of coherent storytelling which slipped a parallel Rodenberry through a freak wormhole. It's not clear whether Jeri's wormhole was also slipped into, but he certainly managed to cop a feel of some Borg Implants before Braga could bring Space and Time back to normal in his usual preposterous way. Rumours that Gene might have cryogenically frozen himself for any future Trek fumblings have resulted in a 24 armed guard on Jolene Blalock who plays T'Pol in Enterprise, just in case he tries the old "let me show you this Earth word called love" line on her. |